They say the best things in life are free- and friends are one them. There’s nothing better than building solid friendships of memories, trust and loyalty and knowing you have people there for you no matter what. Life is better with friends…
Unless you feel they’re holding you back. Then they cause you more trouble than it’s worth; you feel like the effort is one-sided and you’re getting nothing out of it. Of course, like any relationship, they’re not always easy, but a good friendship is always worth it in the end.
Bit if you find yourself identifying with a lot of these signs of a toxic friendship, then it might be time to cut ties…
1. They Don’t Support You Making A Change
When you’re embarking on a new positive change in your lifestyle- whether it be a job, exercise routine, healthy eating or quitting a bad habit- they just don’t support you and will make you believe it’s not the best thing to be doing.
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A good friend will be your biggest cheerleader and help you however they can. Whether it be go to the gym with you or just even telling you not to eat the cake (although, we sometimes want them to just sit and eat it with us).
The thing is we want to feel supported in whatever we do, not someone who’s going to want us to fall at the first hurdle!
2. You Can’t Share Your Accomplishments
You feel like they resent you when you do well, making you feel as though you don’t want to shout about your achievements.
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If you think there’s some level of low-key competition on their end, you might find it to share your wins with them. Friends are there to be our biggest cheerleaders, not our biggest competition.
3. You’re Never Your True Self
You feel as though you’re holding back and hiding behind a certain persona when you’re with them. You can’t say certain things, do certain things and you might even try and look a certain way around them.
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4. They Seem Jealous Of You
5. They’re Constantly Letting You Down
Whether it be plans to go out for dinner, or drinks or even plans to just stay in and chill- if they’re constantly cancelling and asking to rearrange plans, then your friendship just doesn’t mean enough to them. Sorry, it’s harsh, but true. If you want to make the effort for someone, regardless of how busy you are, you will make the time.
Time is precious, don’t waste it on flaky people when you could be spending time with your real friends, or even your own company will have more value.
6. You Don’t Get Anything Out Of It
You simply just aren’t getting anything out of it. Friendship isn’t a one-way street, and you should never feel like it is. Effort works both ways, so if they’re not reciprocating your efforts, it’s time to move on.
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You don’t feel supported or loved and are just keeping the friendship ticking over for the sake of it really. If you don’t feel they’d do for you, what you’d do for them, it’s just not a friendship.
7. There’s Some Kind Of Unknown Tension
You just feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells. You wouldn’t take this in a relationship, so why should a friendship be any different?
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When tension builds up, it’s likely to reach a boiling point at some point. If the friendship’s important to you, then take one for the team and address the issue head on. If it’s not- get out of it before it can even reach boiling point.
8. Your Friend Doesn’t Expand Your Horizons
Friends are there to push you and open up your eyes to new adventures. If you’ve got a friend who’s just at a standstill in their ways with a closed- mind that repels your hopes and dreams- get rid!! It’s good to have friends open to new things and willing to try anything with you!
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It’s easy enough to doubt yourself in this day and age, without those closest to you also putting you off reaching for your dreams!
Of course, friendship takes effort, but not the kind of effort that revising for an exam takes. It shouldn’t be draining, and you should want to do it.
If it feels like pulling teeth, then it’s not natural and maybe it’s time to take a look at it.
9. There’s Always Drama
Again, friendships aren’t always easy, plain-sailing journeys (often the best friendships are those that have overcome the bumps of life together and come out stronger for it).
But, if it’s adding unnecessary drama and stress to your life, is it even worth it? Life has enough external stressors, never mind when it’s coming from those closest to you as well!
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There’s a lot of people on this planet- don’t fall in to the trap of wasting your time on those who don’t deserve it. It might not be easy, but sometime’s you’ve got to be selfish and have only those people who are helping your thrive around you. You’ll look back and thank yourself for it!