We’ve all been there…watching Bridget Jones on the sofa in our PJs as we devour a tub of Ben and Jerrys like it’s our last meal. Our eyes are puffy from crying; we can’t remember the last time we showered and going outside in the sunlight is a NO GO.
Break-ups, I think we call agree, are the f****ng worse!
Whether you’re the dumper or the unfortunate dumpee, you cannot escape the five stages of grief that come with a break up. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and FINALLY acceptance.
When you and your other half decide to call it quits, it’s a real knock to the ego and as hard as it is, you must find a way to move on. Before you even think about messaging back that cute guy from last night, make sure you have digested these healthy ways of getting over your ex first.
1. Talk About How You’re Feeling (But Not Too Much)
When you break up with someone, your body is flooded with so many different emotions and it can be really overwhelming! That’s why talking to someone about how you feel is a good way to start processing everything that you’re feeling.
You’re going to find yourself feeling angry, upset and maybe even hopeless at times. It’s completely normal to keep passing through these different emotions almost on a cycle!
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Talking to a parent, a trusted friend or councillor can help you discuss your issues in a way that allows you to look towards a happier future.
But don’t bang on about it all the time!
2. Let Go Of The Anger And Accept What’s Done Is Done
As easy as it can be to blame someone else for the hurt caused, it ultimately won’t help you. Finding the strength to acknowledge the mistakes the other person made as well as the mistakes you made can be put to a more productive use.
Learn from the mistakes. Remember what made you unhappy and the qualities you didn’t like about your ex-partner. Do not be bitter or resentful, just accept that things were not meant to be for whatever reason. This is the opportunity for you to grow as an individual and avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Let go of the anger and accept what’s done is done.
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3. Use Your New-found Freedom To Work On Yourself
Your ex will have taken up a significant proportion of your time and headspace. Now that they’re no longer in the picture, you have the perfect opportunity to focus on YOU. Find out what you enjoy doing. Take up a new hobby, hang out with friends and most importantly, keep busy!
Before you’re ready to enter another serious relationship, you need to learn how to be okay with yourself first. As cheesy as it sounds, self-love is the most important thing. If you don’t know yourself, then how is someone else supposed to understand and support you?
Date yourself for a while. This is the only relationship you should be concerned with right now.
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4. Listen To Your Gut Feeling
When we go through a break-up, we often worry that love may never happen for us again. This can lead to us do reckless things i.e. rebound relationships.
It can be hard to be single when everyone around you seems coupled up but I’m telling you girl, you’re only set for more pain if you rush into something before you’re ready. If you have a niggling feeling that something isn’t right or the idea of starting over again with someone is like a kick to the stomach – LISTEN TO YOURSELF.
Don’t rush your healing process and make sure your focus is on becoming the best version of you. When you’ve found that, healthy and happy love will follow.
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You got this!