How To Move On After A Break-Up - Femanin

How To Move On After A Break-Up

If you’re going through a rough break-up right now, this is how to move on from a relationship that is no longer serving you.

We’ve all been there…watching Bridget Jones on the sofa in our PJs as we devour a tub of Ben and Jerrys like it’s our last meal. Our eyes are puffy from crying; we can’t remember the last time we showered and going outside in the sunlight is a NO GO.

Break-ups, I think we call agree, are the f****ng worse!

Whether you’re the dumper or the unfortunate dumpee, you cannot escape the five stages of grief that come with a break up. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and FINALLY acceptance.

As hard as it is, you must start thinking about how to move on. Before you even think about messaging back that cute guy from last night, make sure you have digested these healthy ways of getting over your ex first.

1. How To Move On: Talk About How You’re Feeling (But Not Too Much)

When you and your other half decide to call it quits, it’s a real knock to the ego. A lot of people blame themselves for the ‘failed relationship’ and hold onto negative emotions for a long time.

Your body is flooded with so many different emotions and it can be really overwhelming! That’s why talking to someone about how you feel is a good way to start processing everything that you’re feeling.

You’re going to find yourself feeling angry, upset and maybe even hopeless at times. It’s completely normal to keep passing through these different emotions almost on a cycle!

 

how to move on

Image Source: /Talkspace

Talking to a parent, a trusted friend or councillor can help you discuss your issues in a way that allows you to look towards a happier future.

But don’t bang on about it all the time!

2. How To Move On: Let Go Of The Anger And Accept What’s Done Is Done

As easy as it can be to blame someone else for the hurt caused, it ultimately won’t help you. Finding the strength to acknowledge the mistakes the other person made as well as the mistakes you made can be put to a more productive use.

Learn from the mistakes. Remember what made you unhappy and the qualities you didn’t like about your ex-partner. Do not be bitter or resentful, just accept that things were not meant to be for whatever reason. This is the opportunity for you to grow as an individual and avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

Let go of the anger and accept what’s done is done.

broken heart

Image Source: /SheKnows

3. Use Your New-found Freedom To Work On Yourself

Your ex will have taken up a significant proportion of your time and headspace. Now that they’re no longer in the picture, you have the perfect opportunity to focus on YOU. Find out what you enjoy doing. Take up a new hobby, hang out with friends and most importantly, keep busy!

Before you’re ready to enter another serious relationship, you need to learn how to be okay with yourself first. As cheesy as it sounds, self-love is the most important thing. If you don’t know yourself, then how is someone else supposed to understand and support you?

Going out, meeting new people and continuing to live your life is the best thing you could be doing right now.

Date yourself for a while. This is the only relationship you should be concerned with right now.

shoe stomping on heart cartoon

Image Source: /Highsnobiety

4. Listen To Your Gut Feeling

When we go through a break-up, we often worry that love may never happen for us again. This can lead to us do reckless things i.e. rebound relationships.

It can be hard to be single when everyone around you seems coupled up but I’m telling you girl, you’re only set for more pain if you rush into something before you’re ready. If you have a niggling feeling that something isn’t right or the idea of starting over again with someone is like a kick to the stomach – LISTEN TO YOURSELF.

 

woman raising fist in air

Image Source: /unsplash @mbrunacr

5. Distance Yourself From Your Ex

If you are continuing to talk to your ex every day since the break-up, this is not going to help you move forward. Perhaps one day you will be able to be friends again, however, when the break-up is still fresh and raw, contact will only serve to cause trouble.

In order for the healing process to begin, you need to go through the grieving process. Allow yourself to grieve the end of the relationship and to do that, you need to cut all ties with your ex for a period of time. This is, understandably, a very difficult thing to do. You go from spending every day with this person and them being a pinnacle person in your life to nothing. There will be times when you desperately want to know how your ex is doing and have a conversation with them.

Image Source: /Unsplash

However, you should resist the urge to contact them and try your best to remove them from your thoughts. If you wanted to get back together, this should be addressed once you have reached a point of clarity.

Remember, once a relationship has ended, that relationship isĀ dead. If you wanted to get back together, you would have to build a whole new relationship. You cannot just pick up where things left off as the issues that caused you to break up in the first place are likely still there.

Don’t rush your healing process and make sure your focus is on becoming the best version of you. When you’ve found that, healthy and happy love will follow. The process of moving on is not a straight line. There will be days where you take one step forward and others, take two steps back. Eventually, you will reach a point of acceptance and once you have that, you are on the right path towards peace and happiness.

You need to find love with yourself before you can rush into finding it with someone else.

 

Even though things didn’t work out, think about what you learned from the relationship and how this will benefit any future relationships you have. No relationship is a waste of time when you can take something from it.

You need to find love with yourself before you can rush into finding it with someone else.

You got this!