The saying ‘love is blind’ really is the absolute truth for most people. When you’re in a relationship with someone you see as the love of your life and your whole world, you might find that you look at your relationship with rose tinted spectacles.
No relationship is perfect and you can’t have all the good and no bad. However, there are certain factors that suggest you may be in a toxic relationship if you experience any of these following things…
1. You Feel Unsupported By Your Partner
You should always feel like your partner supports you. If you feel like you are on your own a lot of the time in the relationship, that isn’t right! If you have a problem, it should be the two of you against the problem. You’re a team. If it starts to feel like a one-player game, this might not be the relationship for you.
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2. You Feel Insecure Around Your Partner
How does your partner make you feel about yourself? Do you feel happy and loved? Or do you feel insecure? Sometimes, feeling insecure is more to do with ourselves than anyone else, but it can also be made worse by your partner’s words and actions.
If your partner belittles you or makes you feel like your issues and worries are ‘all in your head’, then this gives the impression that they do not value your opinions. Anyone who cares about you SHOULD care about how you feel.
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3. Does Your Partner Make You Feel Reliant On Them?
If your partner makes you feel as though you have to rely on them and that they are your ‘everything’, that is the definition of toxic behaviour. You are an independent person and your partner should make you feel strong, not weak!
Becoming unhealthily attached to one person is not going to make for a healthy, happy relationship. If you find that your relationship is more restricting than freeing, then you you might be trapped in a toxic relationship.
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4. You Feel Like You Have To Do All The Work
Do you feel like your partner doesn’t pull his weight as much in the relationship? If the answer is yes and you always seem to be the one planning everything that you do, then it might be time to rethink things.
According to psychotherapist Ginnie Love Thompson:
‘A healthy relationship is a partnership, with both of you co-creating your fulfillment. If you feel like you’re suddenly doing all the heavy lifting—especially if your partner doesn’t seem to notice—the balance has become toxic.
‘Make sure you’re not the only one contributing to the day-to-day activities or long-term vision of the relationship.’
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Relationships are always going to have their ups and downs but you should always feel valued and appreciated in spite of the unhappy times.
If your partner is controlling or you feel like the relationship is draining your energy, then you should definitely re-evaluate things. If you can’t talk to your partner, talk to a family member or trusted friend. Alternatively, there are helplines available.
Also, remember that domestic abuse is NEVER okay and you should never have to put up with it. There is always help available. You can contact the 24 hour Domestic Abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247 or you can contact Women’s Aid and Mankind.
Do not suffer alone.