When we grow up watching extravagant, heart-wrenching love stories and gestures play out on screen, it’s no surprise that our expectations are set very high!

We want someone to write a letter to us every day for a year and kiss us in the rain. We learn to believe that the easy and safe relationships are ‘boring’ and we strive for that never-ending passion and drama we yearned for every time we cried into our popcorn.

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However, in reality, a lot of the romantic stories we watch and read about are actually very unhealthy. Look at Ross and Rachel! We tend to think of them as one of greatest love stories in TV history but if we take a closer look, those two were pretty toxic.

Ross was so jealous and bedded another woman the night he and Rachel broke up. Ross’ relationships with anyone else never worked out because Rachel always had to stick her oar in. It wasn’t good, people!

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It’s time to make a distinction between fact and fiction when it comes to our intimate relationships. We’re going to run through some unrealistic expectations and the unflattering reality of true romance.

Fiction: You’re Searching For That Epic Love Story

Emma and Dexter, Rose and Jack, Harry and Sally… the one thing they all have in common is it took them one hell of a long, winding road to finally end up together and most ended in tragedy.

Usually, we can find a happy ever after that makes these romances worth all the pain and complications, however we all know we’re suckers for a hopeless tragedy.

Reality: A Good Story Doesn’t Make It A Good Relationship

Sometimes, there’s a reason why on-screen relationships are drawn out for so long and full of juicy dramatic moments. Yes, because it’s entertaining to watch and also those couples SHOULD NOT actually be together!

You should aspire to have a relationship that focuses on stability not endless drama. If you’re planning on settling down, a consistent and healthy relationship is going to make you a lot happier down the line. Drama doesn’t always equate to passion and stable and solid doesn’t mean ‘boring’.

Don’t search for a fairytale.

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Fiction: A Relationship Will Make You Happy

We feel like there’s something missing in our lives, like we’re not whole or complete. Then, this perfect person comes along and suddenly everything is sunshine and butterflies. We have true happiness now that our soul mate has found us and we are so very much in love.

Reality: A Relationship Will Not Make You Happy If You Are Not Happy On Your Own

Obviously, relationships do make us happy but only when we have happiness within ourselves first. If we can’t be happy on our own, then expecting our partner to make us happy will only lead to an unhealthy attachment down the line. The honeymoon period only lasts so long and then we’re faced with the harsh reality that life isn’t like the movies and a partner wasn’t born to serve us.

We need to develop a happy relationship with ourselves before we can have a happy relationship with someone else.

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Relationships are about more than love and grand gestures. They need consistency, commitment and resilience. Find someone who makes you feel like you’re in a romantic movie even when you’re sat at home in your PJs, binging on pizza and doing absolutely nothing romantic of the sort…

…That’s where the magic truly lies!