How To Get Over A Crush: The Healthiest Ways To Move On - Femanin

How To Get Over A Crush: The Healthiest Ways To Move On

If you’re scouring google for help on how to get over a crush, you most likely have a bad case of the unwanted feels.

Having a crush on someone can be the best and the worst thing. It feels fantastic because you look forward to seeing this person and it gives you this heightened sense of elation. You’re human and being able to feel so intensely can be a wonderful and exciting thing!

However, feeling intensely can also be heart-breaking when our feelings don’t go in the direction we may have hoped for i.e. the object of our affections doesn’t return those feelings or perhaps is already taken.

how to get over a crush

Image Source: /Unsplash

So what do you do if you have a crush and you have to get over it? Well, here are some tips for picking yourself back up – and trust us – it won’t take long to bounce back!

1. Accept How You Feel

Before you can move on from your crush, you first need to be able to acknowledge and admit that you have a crush. A lot of the time we try to deny our romantic feelings, especially if they are towards a friend or someone we believe is completely unattainable. However, accepting our feelings is the first step towards moving past them.

It’s normal to have crushes on people – even if there’s no way anything could happen! Think about how many people fall head over heels for their teachers or their bosses!

Therapist Kim Egel says:

‘Accepting how you feel and allowing yourself space to emotionally process and release those feelings can help you begin to feel differently about a person and eventually move on.’

If you refuse to accept your feelings and try to push them down, they will continue to torment you!

girl covering face with hands

Image Source: /Unsplash

2. Be Patient

The heartbreak of an unrequited crush is something most of us have experienced in our lives, and if you’ve gone through this before then you know that it doesn’t last forever!

Even if you’ve never actually told your crush how you feel, it still hurts when nothing ever materialises between you and your hopes are dashed. However, it is important to remember that your feelings will fade. The length of time it takes for that to happen is entirely dependent on the individual, but they will. One day, you’ll most likely look back and find it absurd that you ever felt this way!

So, be patient and know that your feelings are temporary. In the meantime, nurture yourself through the process by taking care of your physical health, staying busy doing things that you enjoy and supporting yourself with positive self-talk.

Image Source: /Unsplash

3. Be Realistic

Ask yourself honestly: did you really like this person or did you really like the idealised version of them? Was it love or lust? Facts or reality?

When we have a crush on someone, we often see them through rose-coloured glasses and the reality is that they probably weren’t that amazing after all. Although maybe you felt so sure that the pair of you had this wonderful connection, look at your relationship truthfully and remove the spectacles.

Set aside what you like about this person and ask yourself what other traits they have that maybe weren’t so great. Do they align with the sort of person you want in a relationship? Remember, you deserve to be with someone who wants you, is sure about you and is willing to return the love and respect you give to them.

Be honest with yourself and focus on moving on.

Image Source: /Unsplash

4. Talk About Your Feelings

If you’re struggling to work through these difficult emotions, confide in someone you trust and get their perspective on it! Opening up about your feelings to friends and family instead of bottling them up will allow you to process them properly.

Talk to loved ones or if you don’t want to talk to someone about it, write down your feelings in a journal or in a letter that you never have to send.

girl writing in journal

Image Source: /Unsplash

5. Talk To Your Crush

Have you told your crush how you feel about them? The idea might make you feel physically sick but there’s only one way to find out for sure how someone feels about you – and that’s by asking them!

Opening up about your feelings is a very difficult thing to do as it exposes your vulnerability. You might decide that the risk of being rejected might have too disastrous consequences e.g. if you’re really good friends. However, if you suspect that the feeling might be mutual and there are clear signs (s)he’s into you or you feel very strongly, confiding in the person can either lead to something truly wonderful or provide much needed closure.

Either way, you can stop fantasising about it and find out what is actually going on between you!

couple talking on hill

Image Source: /Unsplash

The Bottom Line…

Getting over a crush is not an easy feat and it’s okay to feel disheartened and upset about a romantic connection that didn’t go your way. However, it is so important to take care of your mental health. Get on with your daily life and spend time with people who lift you up. Take up a new hobby or go out and meet new people. If you’re really having a tough time, talking to a therapist or counselor and understanding how to manage the grieving process of unrequited love can do wonders.

You’ve got this. Keep your head held high! As Lewis Capaldi says, they’ll soon become someone you loved once upon a time.