Signs You Are Still In Love With Your Ex

1. You dream about them

Image source / The ScientistPeople who are significant to us often appear in our dreams. So if your ex keeps making night time appearances, it could be a sign you’re not over them yet. In fact, some say that our dreams reflect our subconscious thoughts, so if your dreams depict you and your ex rekindling your relationship, it could be a sign of your deepest wishes.

2. You check their socials

Image source / The VergeAnyone who says they never look at their ex’s social media is, in my opinion, a liar! But there’s a difference between having a glance every 6 months or so to religiously checking week after week or, dare I say it, day after day. If you find yourself doing that, you may want to question your motives.

3. You can't delete old pictures

Image source / MacPawIt’s weird when you break up with someone. Suddenly all your loved-up snaps just sit awkwardly on your phone or social media reminding you of what once was. Many would say the healthy thing to do would be to delete them. I mean, you’ve broken up so surely they don’t have a romantic significance anymore, right? Hmm, if you’re struggling to delete the pics (especially the ones of you together) then maybe you’re struggling to let go.

4. You spend hours looking at old photos

Image source / LADbibleOk, so you’re not quite ready to hit delete on the loved-up pics. Maybe next week. But what if you find yourself constantly looking back at them? Obsessively scrolling through the photos to bring back memories that surely you should be distancing yourself from…? Alarm bells - you might still be in love.

5. You reread old messages

Image source / Wiki-HowWhen it’s not old photos you’re obsessing over, it’s those long chat conversations. Adorned with love heart emojis and sickening messages of how much you love each other they can be painful to revisit. So why do you keep looking? If you’ve split up you should be moving on, if you can’t move on then maybe you’re still in love.

6. Every conversation leads to them

Image source / Reader's DigestIf you’ve just broken up with someone it’s natural that your friends are going to ask you about it. If however you find yourself mentioning them in every conversation, this might be more than just ‘break up chat’. Do your friends look engaged when you talk about them or a bit bored? If it’s the latter why not ask their honest opinion - do you think I’m over them yet?

7. You still wear their clothes

Image source / PinterestWe’ve all been there - your bf lent you their sweater or shirt one time and you realized how comfy it was and how it actually looked pretty neat on you! Added to this, it became a comforting reminder of them when they weren’t there. So what happens when you split? Surely that’s the first item in your wardrobe to get rid of? If you’re still in love with their clothing then there’s a high chance you’re still in love with them…

8. You visit your old favorite spots

Image source / Cookhouse GalleriesThat cafe where you had your first date… The bench with the amazing view where you shared your first kiss… each relationship has its special places. If you’ve recently split with a partner and find yourself gravitating back to these spots it may indicate the behavior of someone who has yet to get over an ex.

9. You keep messaging them

Image source / Never the right wordIf you notice that you can’t stop messaging your ex you are surely showing the signs of someone who is still in love. If they message you right back then perhaps there’s a rekindled future for you both. If not, move on! Top tip - delete their number!

10. You ask their friends about them

Image source / TellmemoreIf they won’t reply to your messages, you may turn to their buddies to try and maintain that line of contact. Do you find yourself reaching out to their friends for a chat? If you’re genuinely interested in talking to them, fair enough. But if you have an ulterior motive (to ask them about your ex) then that’s pretty sneaky and a sign that you haven’t moved on.

11. You contact their family

Image source / CBCSimilar to reaching out to their friends, if you find yourself messaging their mom, dad or siblings too often then that’s not particularly healthy. Sure, you may have been close and cutting ties with them can be as hard as the split itself. That being said, it’s not fair on them to be expected to keep up contact with you. Do everyone a favor, leave them alone.

12. You wonder if they think about you

Image source / Deborah KristinaYou know full well that you’re thinking about them. Do you also wonder if they are thinking about you? Getting stuck in a mental cycle of questions like this is called rumination and could be a sign of anxiety. If they’re ‘stuck’ in your head, speak to a friend or therapist about how you can move on mentally.

13. You practise conversations

Image source / Let's reach successAnother form of over-thinking would be imagining what you’d say if you bumped into them. In fact, you’ve thought about this so much you could win an Oscar for how naturally your pre-planned speech would be delivered. Don’t fool yourself - if things really were going to work, conversations wouldn’t be pre-planned. You’ve split, it’s time to accept it.

14. You go crazy if you see them

Image source / HelloGigglesOf course, there will be times when you do bump into an ex. Maybe you go into full actress mode and deliver your oh-so-natural sounding ‘I’m doing fine thanks’ speech. Or, maybe you just freak and hide. Either way, you react pretty intensely for someone who has supposedly moved on…

15. No new relationships

Image source / Keep Calm-o-MaticIf you’re still in love with your ex, the thought of getting with someone else might not have even crossed your mind. Sure, it’s natural to want some time to settle down again before looking for love but if the thought of a future partner has never even entered your imagination then I’m afraid to say you’re living in the past.

16. Jealous if they've moved on

Image source / Heartmanity Blog

New relationships for you are firmly off the cards, but what if they have started dating? How does it make you feel? A pang of jealousy or upset is probably natural but if you're left in a total rage, you may want to question your reaction. Surely someone who had moved on wouldn’t care if their ex had a new partner. Dare I say it you may even be happy for them!

17. Constant comparisons

Image source / The Daily IlliniMaybe you have begun to move on and are chatting to new people, great! But what if every new love-interest is bound to your strict, internal comparison against your ex. Not tall enough, not funny enough, too tall, too funny! The list is endless but of course it will be - no one is going to replace your ex like-for-like. If you can’t accept that, you haven’t moved on.

18. Easily emotional

Image source / Self

Crying at the end of a relationship is totally normal. In fact, I would argue that not crying is a sign you were over them months ago! But what if the crying just. won’t. stop? If it’s been weeks since you split and you’re still as emotional as the early days it’s time to ask for help. Speak to your friends, confide in your family and, if you need to, speak to a professional. Endless emotions suggest you could still be in love and you’re struggling to move on.

19. They're still your go-to

Image source / YoutubeYou got that promotion at work and your sister got engaged! Exciting news to share with someone right? But who? In the past it would have been your ex that was your go-to person for sharing major life events with but now you’ve split that would naturally be someone else. If you find yourself automatically wanting to keep your ex in the loop then have you really moved on?

20. You wonder what went wrong

Image source / UnsplashWe’ve already heard about the risk of over analyzing things and getting trapped in a negative thought spiral. You might also be doing this about your relationship and wondering how you ended up splitting. If you can’t stop mulling over the different scenarios that led to you and your ex separating then you’re clearly not at peace with the situation.

21. Your future contains them

Image source / Chapters of MayEqually, if your future goals, dreams and life plans have them firmly in the centre then that’s one sure sign you’re still in love! If you really imagine them at your future wedding or being the father/mother to your children then you sure haven’t moved on.

22. You go to places where they'll be

Image source / MomJunctionWe’ve heard how people might visit their ‘special places’ to relive romantic moments. This one is more practical and, if I’m honest, more manipulative. If you know that your ex will be leaving their college class at a certain time or hitting the gym after work and you just so happen to be there, you know what you’re doing! Stop trying to get them to notice you and move on.

23. You want them to notice you

Image source / StylevoreSo visiting places they’re likely to be is a firm no-no, it’s actually pretty creepy. So what if you take a more subtle approach to getting them to notice you? Increasing the Insta posts maybe or going out clubbing knowing fully well that you’ll be seen by your mutual friends? It may be more subtle but it’s ultimately for the same aim - you want them to think about you, just as you can’t stop thinking about them.

24. You think about them non-stop

Image source / GeniusThis one seems obvious and I guess it is. If your ex is front and centre of your thoughts day in, day out, then I’m afraid you’re not over them and you could even still be in love. How about trying something that will help relax your mind - meditation and exercise are both great relievers for an over-thinker.

25. You think about them on special occasions

Image source / Inc. MagazineYou may no longer be thinking about them day and night, great. But what if a special occasion still makes them come flooding back. Making your Thanksgiving plans and you can’t stop remembering last year with them? Getting ready to go on holiday and get caught up thinking about when you went away together? Yep, you may not be thinking about them non-stop but it doesn’t take much, does it?

26. Selective memory - only the good times

Image source / The conversationWhen you split from someone you still love it’s easy to fall into the trap of only remembering the good times. This idea of seeing your relationship through rose-tinted glasses is unhealthy - there was a reason you split and even if this wasn’t your decision, remember that you deserve to be with someone who is 100% committed to you. If all you can remember are the positives, get a piece of paper and write down the things that bugged you about them. It might help you to move on.

27. Other couples - no thanks!

Image source / FreepikIf seeing other happy couples makes your stomach turn then you’re not handling your break up very well and could even still be in love with your ex. For most of us, seeing a happy couple might give us the drive and determination to find love ourselves or simply feel happy for them. If it’s making you bitter and resentful, ask yourself why.

28. Can't throw the keepsakes

Image source / The Container StoreGo on, what was it? A cute teddy bear? A silver necklace? Whatever the cute keepsake your ex bought you was, you know it’s not healthy to keep hold of it. So why are you? If it’s really that difficult to get rid of, have a friend come over and take it away for you. If it’s worth some money why not sell it - you’ll soon associate moving on with more positive emotions.

29. Something is missing...

Image source / Bevin Niemann

If since breaking up with your ex you have a lingering feeling that something is missing I guess you’d be right. Going from spending most days with someone to them suddenly not being in your life can, admittedly, be hard. If this sinking feeling or void continues beyond a few weeks then I’d be questioning how attached you still are to the relationship.

30. No love interest in anyone else

Image source / New York TimesAfter being single for a while, it’s natural to start thinking about hooking up with someone new. Even if it’s just a bit of fun, we’re all only human at the end of the day. If you don’t have any interest whatsoever in connecting with someone new and instead just think back longingly to your time with your ex. Guess what… likely still in love!

31. You Suffer From Low Mood

Image Source / Diabetes UKIt's understandable to feel heartbroken, upset and down after a breakup. But if you're suffering from constant low mood, even though it's been time enough to try and move on from them an heal, you might still be hung up if you're mopey all day every day because of them.

32. You Still Have Random Old Emails From Them

Image Source / wikiHowMaybe you forwarded them a vacation booking confirmation once, or maybe they sent you a quick FYI email with a couple of kisses stuffed on the end. If you still have those emails - and still look at them - you're holding on to any old communication from them.

33. You Talk About Them To Any New Love Interests

Image Source / Seventeen MagazineEven if you do make yourself date, or even think that you've moved on and you're happy to date, you end up talking about your ex. You might be in the middle of a conversation and say 'Oh yeah, my first date with my ex was like this' or 'Yeah I've been to that country, I went with my ex'!

34. You Believe That Nobody Is Ever Going To Match Up To Them

Image Source / SwirlsterYou might compare every little thing to new potential matches, like hair or height, but there's also the other end of the spectrum to the extreme - you've convinced yourself completely that they were exactly what you wanted, they were perfect, and you absolutely refuse to accept that anybody could possible match up to them.

35. You’re Actually Still Friends With Them

Image Source / Good HousekeepingOf course it's possible to still be friends with an ex. But are you actually friends with them or did you only say 'let's be friends' because you're clinging onto their presence and hoping staying friends will mean that you can convince them to get back into a relationship with you?

36. You Avoid Spending Time Alone At Home

Image Source / LifehackWhether this is because it's where you lived together, or simply because you live alone and you can't bear those night hours when you used to be with them, you just can't bring yourself to be alone at home comfortably in your own company. You use any excuse to get out of the house.

37. You’ve Kept The House Or Apartment The Way They Left It

Image Source / TripAdvisorIf you did live together, maybe you haven't changed a single thing since you broke up. Maybe you've kept it how they decorated it, or you leave furniture arranged how they liked it. Because it makes you feel like a piece of them is still there, or there's hope they'll come back to just how they left it.

38. You’re Constantly Thinking Of Random Excuses To Ask Them Things

Image Source / Phys.orgIf you're still in touch with them, you might use any and all opportunities to send them a quick text about something. It could be a random email you got and you message them to ask whether it was them who sent it. Maybe it's something obscure that you have to tell them about because it 'reminded you of that holiday you both went on'.

39. You Still Hold Onto That Tiny Bit Of Hope You Could Get Back Together

Image Source / PexelsDo you live all day every day with that little niggle at the back of your mind that tells you there's still hope that one day you'll get back together? That subconsciously you're holding out for that? You carry that tiny bit of hope no matter where you go, and you refuse to let it go away.

40. If They Messaged You, You’d Drop Everything To Reply

Image Source / Reader's DigestLife gets busy, and maybe you're not someone who replies messages straight away. Your friends know they'll be left on 'read' for a while before you reply. But if your ex messaged you, even in the middle of washing the dishes, you'd dive for your phone and type out a reply immediately.

41. You Sometimes Still Cry About Them

Image Source / BBCIt might be late at night or when you get into bed, at a time you're most likely to think about them. Or maybe you're going through old messages, or you notice something that reminds you of them when you're out and about. If you're emotions are still manifesting as full-on sobbing, you're clearly not over them.

42. When Your Phone Goes Off Or You Get A Notification, You Wonder If It’s Them

Image Source / Online Tech TipsYou're subconsciously holding out hope that they might message you again, so when your phone beeps or you see that little notification icon on social media, do you think think - even just for a second - that it might be them? Or rather, hope it will be?

43. You Don’t Let Yourself Fall For Anyone Else Just In Case Your Ex Ever Wants To Get Back Together

Image Source / Wired UKYou're not letting yourself be available to anyone new because you still feel as though you belong to your ex. If you move on with someone else, what if they came back and asked you to get back together? No, it's much better to stay single and alone forever - just in case they want to get back together, of course.

44. You Can’t Focus On Your Career Or Hobbies

Image Source / ReedA key part of moving on from a break up and taking care of yourself is thinking about your own future, and usually what you want to do for your career now you have more freedom, and what kind of hobbies you'd like to try for yourself. But if you can't focus on any of them because your mind is 100% ex, this is a hint.

45. When You Do Plan A New Hobby, It’s Based Around Whether It Would Impress Them

Image Source / TogglMaybe your ex mentioned wanting to do a particularly hobby at some point, but never did when they were with you. Or maybe they had a hobby that you never joined in with. If you're now basing all your hobby decisions around what they did, what they would like (such as taking up rock climbing because they loved it) then it shows you're doing it for them, and only them.

46. You Compare Any Sexual Experience With How It Felt With Your Ex

Image Source / Cleveland Clinic Health EssentialsYou're not really supposed to think of anyone else when you're having sex with someone you're into, but if you're comparing every little detail with how it felt with your ex, you're too focused on your past love. You may not even be letting yourself have great sex with anyone else because 'nobody compares'.

47. You Think Of Them When You’re Browsing For Holiday Gifts

Image Source / Prima (UK)It's time for the Christmas shopping, or maybe you're buying birthday presents for someone, and every time you see something in particular you might be thinking 'oh my ex would love that' or 'that's something I would've got for my ex for his birthday'.

48. You Use Pillows For Snuggling Whilst Thinking Of Them

Image Source / Sleep.8You've got your body pillow prepped and every night you need to hug it in order to still pretend that you're spooning with them. Bedtime is a key time when you know whether you're really over someone, if you're still thinking about sleeping next to them.

49. You Follow Their Career Path

Image Source / Hootsuite BlogIt's one thing to stalk them on normal social media, but maybe you're interested in what they're doing for a job these days, too. Maybe you're searching for them on professional social media sites to see where they're working - and thinking how far away the company is, or whether they've got any job openings for you...

50. When You Post On Social Media, Everything Is Tailored For Them

Image Source / Flux MagazineYou have a bunch of vacation snaps you want to upload. Why? Because you want them to see what a great, fun and attractive person you are. You don't upload the ones you don't think they'll like, or the ones you don't look great in. You post something about a new hobby with the sole purpose of them seeing it.