30 Signs You May Know A Sociopath

By Emily 1 year ago

1. They're hypocrites

Image source / MemesA sociopath can be very demanding. They will have high expectations of those around them and if you’re a people pleaser, watch out! You are a sociopath's ideal companion. But as you go to great lengths to meet their high standards and requests they give very little in return. Total hypocrites who expect everything and give very little  in return!

2. Attention seekers

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Much like a small child, sociopaths relish attention and will go out of their way to make sure the focus is on them. This doesn’t take much - their false charm is a very effective way at luring in admirers. When people first meet them, they are often dazzled, almost starstruck. As such, sociopaths have an inflated sense of status and seem to be followed by adoring fans.

3. They gaslight

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Gaslighting is a manipulation technique and as we will see, sociopaths are very good at manipulation. Essentially, gaslighting is tricking someone into second guessing themselves. A sociopath may say something and later deny they ever said it. Or they may try and convince you that you’re crazy/jealous/too emotional when actually you are fine and they are the one trying to control you.

4. Emotionally inconsistent

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Sociopaths can go from being your best friend to your worst enemy in the blink of an eye. From being affectionate, warm and complimentary one day to cold, scathing and nasty the next. So which of these do you think is their more natural sentiment? That’s correct - sociopaths are naturally pretty cold and antisocial but put on a pretty good act to lure in those around them.

5. Compulsive liars

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One obvious trait of a sociopath is that they are pathological liars. In other words, they are hard-wired to lie and cannot resist doing so. If you are close to a sociopath, you’ll probably be used to their lies as they’re often not as savvy at lying as they believe they are! You might even find yourself wondering why on earth they have lied about something so trivial such as saying they went to one shop when they went in another. Catch them out though and they won’t be happy…

6. They point out your faults

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Whilst they can’t cope with having their own errors pointed out, sociopaths have no problem having a go at you! Oh yes, a sociopath takes great enjoyment from spotting other people’s flaws and making them feel small. This nasty, bully-like attitude is hard to ignore and may leave you questioning your own abilities and self worth. Our advice? Get away from anyone with these toxic traits.

7. Emotionless

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Sociopaths are lacking in empathy and other basic human emotions. If you are in the company of a sociopath, you will notice that they struggle with simple social cues and may need emotions explained to them. They can come across as particularly rude as they don’t follow manner norms (please, thank you) and they may struggle to spot the emotions in others when to you it’s blindingly obvious.

8. You question if they are normal

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It can be hard if you think someone close to you might have this disorder. It can be scary to think that their brain doesn’t work in the same way as the rest of us and especially so when you consider that many of the traits aren’t very nice. Nonetheless, if you do know a sociopath, chances are you’ll have been wondering for quite a while if they are normal.

9. They make you jealous

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You may have never been a jealous person in your life, but when you get to know a sociopath, it’s normal to start feeling the green monster emerge. That’s because they give you reasons to doubt yourself (remember gaslighting) and are very good at playing hot and cold. This is their controlling nature - they know all the tricks in the book to keep people close to them.

10. They try to change you

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We heard how sociopaths take every opportunity to point out the faults of those around them. Well, if you get too close to one, they may go as far as trying to change the way you behave. Of course it’s natural in any relationship (friendly or romantic) for the other person to give you gentle advice, especially if you have asked for it. But if they can’t go one day without trying to mold you into being a different person then run, fast!

11. They have ulterior motives

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Sociopaths are very clever manipulators and know how to play the emotions of people around them. One day they may be your best friend - laughing, joking, praising you. You soak up these moments, they are few and far between and a compliment from a sociopath feels extra special. Watch out though, chances are they are just after something from you - they always have an ulterior motive.

12. Childhood issues

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Sociopaths almost always displayed signs of their disorder in childhood, although most are not diagnosed until they are much older. Adults with sociopathy were very disruptive children. They defied the rules, pushed back against authority and generally had no qualms in getting into trouble. Set against a backdrop of a stable home environment this can raise some questions.

13. Financially risky

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People who are sociopaths are inherently poor at regulating their behavior. This can be seen in various areas of their lives but especially so when it comes to their finances. Sure, they might earn a lot of money (they are often found in positions of power) but boy do they know how to blow it! From splashing out on nice meals to booking luxury holidays they just can’t afford, sociopaths simply cannot resist spending money and as a result, often end up in financial difficulty.

14. Drink and drugs

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By risk taker, we don’t mean someone who loves roller coasters and adrenaline sports. Sociopaths take things to a new extreme and often engage in risky drinking or drug habits. Without the ‘usual’ filter for risk, these types of people don’t think twice about having yet another drink or taking an illegal drug.

15. Run ins with the law

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It comes as no surprise that sociopaths, who are natural risk takers, have their fair share of run-ins with the authorities. Their loose sense of right and wrong and inflated self worth means they think they can get away with anything and often do push the legal boundaries. This could range from pretty crimes (getting frequent parking tickets/speeding fines) to bigger consequences.

16. Cheaters

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If you suspect you are in a romantic relationship with a sociopath, watch out… As we have seen, their lack of self restraint and tendency for risk means that staying faithful is oh-so-hard. If your partner has a history of cheating, beware! Of course, someone who has previously cheated is not automatically a sociopath but along with many of the other traits listed above then they certainly could be.

17. Great at sex

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One of the frustrating things about dating a sociopath is that they can be pretty good in the bedroom. Although they might not give you the attention you crave day-to-day, when it comes to getting between the sheets, sociopaths are known to have some skills. Why? Well, perhaps they’re using this as a mechanism to keep you sweet. Or, it might be their risky nature coming out making the sex more adventurous than you’ve experienced before.

18. Arrogant

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It should be pretty clear by now that sociopaths think highly of themselves and critically of most others around them. How would we describe someone like this? You’ve got it - arrogant! There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance but arrogant people give off an air of superiority, a sense that they’re better than you.

19. Don't meet deadlines

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Although their air of arrogance might see them land top company positions, they are sure to wind up some people along the way. Sociopaths are notoriously poor at time and project management - a manager's worst nightmare! If the person in question is not yet working then it might be college assignments or other deadlines that are missed with little bother for the consequence.

20. Poor planners

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Just as they struggle to meet their work commitments, a sociopath is not the right person to ask to plan your next holiday. Their spontaneous ‘do now, think later’ attitude might appeal at first - how fun! - after a while you’ll become frustrated with their inability to organize their life.

21. You want them to like you

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Sociopaths have a bizarre effect on those around them. Despite their hot and cold personality and often quite unkind behaviors, you can’t help but want to be liked by them. When someone gives off such a self-obsessed aura it’s pretty irresistible when they finally do show you attention. It happens to the best of us!

22. Their past is full of ‘nasty, unfair’ people

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In the world of the sociopath, nothing is their fault. As such, if you ask them about their past or a hardship they have overcome (losing a job, breaking up with someone etc) they will jump at the chance to tell you how they were wronged. That evil boss who was so unfair or their horrible dad who they’ve cut out of their lives. Personal responsibility? I think not!

23. Love bombing

Image source / New York Times
If you’re in a romantic relationship with a sociopath then you may have experienced ‘love bombing’. This is a tactic used by sociopaths to compensate for their naturally cold demeanor. From time to time they will think ‘Oh yeah, I should be showing this person affection’ and they will go above and beyond to pour their heart out to you or lavish you with trips and treats, only to then go quiet again. It’s called love bombing - all the love bombs you at once and is pretty inconsistent.

24. They compare you

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In addition to pointing out all your flaws (poor you), a sociopath will also use comparison to get in your head. We’re all encouraged not to compare ourselves with others - it can be mentally really draining to feel like you’re not attractive/clever/thoughtful enough when compared to someone else. Well imagine having someone else do that for you - that’s seriously nasty.

25. Some behaviors don’t add up

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Sociopaths (especially the high-functioning ones) wear a mask. Not a literal mask of course but an emotional/character one. They have to spend a lot of their time acting to depict a person they’re not. Even the best actors sometimes come out of character and show behaviors that don’t add up… Have they been love bombing you all day only to give you the cold shoulder later on? Do they act kind and courteous around friends and family only to lose the mask the minute they go?

26. They use ‘word salad’ to get out of being found out

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But what if you do call them out for their inconsistent behavior? How will they react? Well, in a word - badly! They hate the feeling of having their mask pulled off. Even though their act is often far less convincing than they let themselves believe. In trying to defend themselves they will use a tactic called ‘word salad’ which means talking a whole lot of rubbish to try and deflect the conversation away from them. They’ll speak with confidence and although what they are saying might sound as though it makes sense, listen more carefully and they’ve most likely changed the subject or flipped the accusation back to you!

27. Bored easily

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We’ve learnt that sociopaths are risk takers which hints at their reckless side. ‘Typical’ activities just don’t cut it for them and as such they are very easily bored. This may first show in childhood where a trip to the local park or a movie night are of no interest to these demanding kids. In adulthood, if they’re not seeking out illegal activities they’ll be looking for something new to get their heart racing.

28. They love drama

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It may come as no surprise that sociopaths are drama queens. Well, kind of. They work very hard to keep their outward appearance as cool and level-headed but are the first to encourage drama between others. Some of us can’t stand confrontation or arguments and shy away when others begin bickering. Not the sociopaths…they’ll be at the sidelines, encouraging the drama at every step.

29. Gossiper

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So of course these drama lovers are sh*t stirrers too! They’ll be the first person to spread gossip around the workplace or between friends. They have little care for the impact of spreading false information and instead get a buzz off feeding the gossip fire. Watch as their faces light up as they spread nasty rumors about their nearest and dearest…

30. You have a gut feeling

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By now, it should be fairly clear if the person you suspect may be a sociopath is or isn’t. Of course only a trained professional can actually diagnose a personality disorder like this. Estimates vary, but with
around 3% of the adult population
likely to be a sociopath it has to apply to someone! Have a gut feeling that person is someone you know? You may well be right…

31. They make threats

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Depending on how well you know a sociopath you may have witnessed or heard about or even experienced first hand, them making threats. Especially in their personally romantic relationships they will threaten their partner if they attempt to leave the relationship.

32. Make partners anxious

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In the same vein, they will make their partner very anxious. You may have witnessed this before. The partner will be very anxious about upsetting their partner and you'll notice that their partner becomes more and more insecure and lacking in confidence.

33. Unpredictable

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Sociopaths are totally unpredictable. This could be in terms of emotions and mood, actions, what they will do next... You can never predict their reactions or their next move. They do not follow social patterns and norms like other people in society.

34. Not learning from past mistakes

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Sociopaths make a lot of mistakes (at least in the eyes of others, not themselves) but they will not learn from them or change ways. They have no desire to better themselves in terms of being a good person and will not even consider their past as shameful.

35. Physical fights

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A sociopath will often find themselves getting into regular, physical fights as a response to dealing with anger. In fact, they may enjoy it. Because a sociopath is no afraid to hurt or insult or annoy someone - it can lead to a ruthless physical fight.

36. Draining peoples finances

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Not only will a sociopath drain their own finances through reckless spending, but they will also try and drain the finances of the people around them by manipulating them into buying them things and spending their money on them using a variety of excuses.

37. Very ruthless

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Sociopaths will never let anybody stand in their way. If they want something, they will go after it no matter how ruthless they have to be to get there and achieve it. They will not worry about how they affect people or the consequences of their actions.

38. No close bonds

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While people may initially feel that they are getting close to somebody who is a sociopath...it will eventually become apparent that this is probably not a genuine close bond. Sociopaths do not form close bonds that are based on genuine feeling and care.

39. Distancing partners from their friends

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If you know of/ or know a sociopath you may have notice that when they are in a romantic relationship that person becomes more and more distant from their friends and family. This is linked with the need for attention and feeling like they want ultimate control over their partner.

40. No conscience

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A sociopath may commit an act or do something bad that normally someone would feel guilty about, or would play on their conscience. However, for or a sociopath - this is just not the case. They do not have a conscience which guides them to act morally.

41. Disregard for safety

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Sociopaths also have a complete disregard for safety and do not feel fear for their own personal safety (or or others around them) like other people usually would. In fact, it is the opposite, they relish dicing with danger for the thrill and excitement.

41. Making others insecure

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A sociopath will enjoy making other people feel insecure, especially if this is a romantic partner. This is for a number of reasons including feeling in control, feeling superior and wanting others to look up to them, feeling like they are important.

42. They may try and get personal information from others

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Another thing that sociopaths also try to do is acquire personal information from others. They have a particular way with charm and charisma that makes people reveal their secrets. But, they may then use it against you as a manipulative tool or to threaten you.

43. No real attachments

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A sociopath is incapable of forming real attachments and so you'll notice that they do not have people that reply on them or people who they truly love. There are instances where sociopaths form real attachment to some animals. However, very rarely to people.

44. Controlling everything

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A sociopath will feel the need to control everything - especially when it comes to people or people close to them. They will do their utmost to put those closest to them under their power and control for their own personal gain and sense of satisfaction and superiority.

45. Mind games

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If you know a sociopath, you'll know that they play continuous mind games. And they never cease. You'll never know where you stand. And, that's because these mind games are for a purpose such as manipulation. OR, purely for their own entertainment because they are bored.

46. Never settle

Image source / Psychology Today
If you know a sociopath personally you'll have realised that they never settle down. They can't hold a job for a long amount of time. They can't hold a serious relationship - unless the partner is comfortable with their infidelity and them blowing hot or cold.

47. They may stare

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Because sociopaths do not care for social etiquette like other people, they have a strong tendency to stare. This is not only due to a lack of social understanding but is also a power play attempt and a way to make you feel nervous or inferior to them.

48. Intense rage

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A sociopath cannot control their emotions - nor do they try to. They will experience intense rages and outbursts of anger which will seem totally shocking to everybody around them. When they experience this type of rage they will seem quite explosive.

49. Very cold

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A sociopath is not a warm person, they do not have that natural loving warmth that some people have. While they initially may shower you with attention and 'love' there will never be a natural warmth. And, over time you'll realise how cold they seem more and more.

50. Never nervous

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A sociopath does not have the same social feelings as any other person may have. This is because not only do they not experience the same amount or variation of emotion as us, but they also do not have the same regard for social standards or social pressures so they never feel nervous.
 

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