The 30+ Craziest Newspaper Headlines You Will Not Believe Are Real
By Anna Collins
1 year ago
1. Sorry, what?
Image Source/ rankerWe can only think of a couple possibilities as to what must have happened here. Maybe the person fell asleep at their keyboard. Or the person sneezed? Or someone working from home had their cat jump across the keyboard and type a whole load of gobbledegook?2. A keen eye for editing
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogThere is a thorough editing process which has to happen before papers get published. So, what on earth happened here? I don't think things turned out well for the editor after this disaster. As the headline states this is a 56pt headline - how could you have missed this?3. A bit of casual sexism
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogOh, the irony. Whoever wrote this article can now group himself in the category of the male colleagues. To start the sentence with 'chick' when referring to a woman who is discussing a very serious and sensitive issue unintentionally but effectively illustrates the problem.4. Too much info?
Image Source/ rankerArticles have to be detailed of course, but maybe this is a little bit too much detail in one headline. 'Romp', 'threesome' and 'getting laid' is a little too much information for us thank you. Sadly, this grandpa was way too excited for his evening ahead and downed his dinner without chewing properly.5. The straight facts of life and death
Image Source/ rankerThe thing about dying is that before you are dead you are still alive...this is the sophistication of this article's facts as it informs us that Diana lived hours before she died. While the contents of this newspaper may have been very interesting, the message is totally lost because of it stating the obvious.6. Finding oneself
7. A lethal sandwich
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogWho knew that a meatball sandwich could cause so much death and tragedy? It may sound far-fetched, but it is indeed true, and the sandwich was in fact one of the main weapons involved in this series of events. However, the sandwich did not have quite as much importance as this heading makes out and wasn't the culprit in the whole ordeal.8. A porn star pun
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogThere's no way that this wording made this heading seem unintentionally filthy. Otherwise, the headline would have read car collision rather than the opted for 'rear-end collision'. But this headline was real, and the subject of the article ended up with a big pay-out in compensation.9. No chatting from the homicide victims...
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogHomicide victims sadly do not talk to anyone...not just the police. Did this writer actually know what the meaning of a homicide victim was? Because to say people who have been killed by homicide don't speak is obvious, would be a massive understatement.10. Regretting his decision
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogThe headline of this Daily Mail article is an inspiring true story, and it all seems amazing until we reach the subtitle. This eight-year-old boy who saved his sister's life started to have some real doubts as to whether he had actually done the right think once she started to annoy him again.11. A real Queen fan
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogNow who doesn't love Queen? I think we can all appreciate what this writer in the Associated Press did here despite the fact the heading has absolutely no relevance to this music. They've made what may have been a pretty dull heading a lot more engaging12. Very unfortunate wording
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogTo be fair to the writer...they did have their work cut out considering Colon is his real name. Crazy, we know. But perhaps opting for his first name would have saved readers a lot of confusion as well as a nasty image. And using the word whiff just really didn't help things did it.13. Teen pregnancy dwindles after teen hood
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogThe New York Times is a reputable and well-established newspaper. Having a heading like this seems totally crazy. By definition a teen is somebody in their teenage years. And so, once they are in their 20s, they are no longer a teen. So, nothing about this statement makes any sense at all.14. Pulling out the raffle prize...ahh, a gun
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogThis is a totally barbaric headline which really was true. First of all, why is a gun considered as a suitable prize in a local fundraiser which is participated by children...or anyone for that matter. Number two...WHY has this gun been placed on the child's lap in this photo.15. A
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogAnything could have been added to this sentence to make it sound less wrong. But instead, now we are all reading the title and looking at her facial expression and wondering what strange kind of relationship these two have where his daughter is congratulating him on something very crude indeed...16. A work of literary art
Image Source/ rankerIf you're wondering whether a child wrote this, you'd be wrong. Crazily, this is really a real-life newspaper headline. Who needs to watch David Attenborough's wildlife programmes when we have this informational article telling us everything we need to know,17. An unwanted statement
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogThe Lumberjack posted this crazy headline which unfortunately to readers, (or those with a certain mind) reads in a very unusual way and seems like a very crass statement. Lady Jacks however is a name, which if it had been followed by 'is' would have stopped the confusion entirely.18. A heart-warming statement gone wrong
Image Source/ rankerWhat could have been a truly heart-warming story was unfortunately worded so badly that it left some readers questioning whether a life-threatening disease had been given - or whether Sir Patrick Stewart had surprised a boy who already had a threatening illness. While we know what it means - it does not read right.18. A special offer
Image Source/ rankerIt really is the punctuation here that changes the meaning of the words to make it sound even worse. The something special which we assume is using quotations to show it was something someone said makes it seem like this something special is code for something else. Then, the dash - head - just makes everything so much worse.19. A filthy pun
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogThis was definitely not an unintentional pun - surely. The writer of this article knew exactly what they were doing including their dirty little joke which would most definitely grab the attention of readers, especially considering the condoms didn't actually escape from the truck.20. Missing some vital information
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogPerhaps this should have been a little bit clearer - we are talking Pygmies here, right? Not men? Male nipples are slightly vague considering we're talking about a kind of animal. Who knows how many fathers were wondering why their nipple didn't have the same effect...21. Ground-breaking news
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogFrequent sex enhances pregnancy chances. Well, who'd have thought it... We don't really think that this study was necessary to work out this fact of life. Perhaps The Winchester Star really thought they were gracing their readers with some ground-breaking news that day.22. A very simple reminder
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogHere's the statement of the century from the Daily Utah. Something we all surely did not need a reminder of - not to take poison. Considering the instructions below the headline, the important message is to be careful accidentally exposing children to harmful medication, which is overridden by the blatancy of the headline.23. Big rack
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogThe phrase 'big rack' has become known in youth slang terms to refer to a woman's breasts...a big rack therefore is referred to some in not the politest of ways to somebody with big breasts. Therefore, the deer with the big rack turning out to be a female is perhaps no coincidence.24. A smelly sewer...?
Image Source/ rankerBy the very definition of a sewer and considering what it contains, we are going to make the bold statement as to say it's inevitable that it smells. Perhaps this city needs reminding what a sewer actually contains. It was never going to smell of roses that's for sure.25. The dead remain dead
Image Source/ rankerThe shooting spree would be a shocking headline. However, when we are being told that those who were lay dead in a morgue still remained dead, it kind of takes the shock factor out of the equation by telling us something that is one of the most certain facts of life.26. Mistress of the Universe
27. Plays with his own balls
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogThis definitely is not something you would expect to read as a headline when you open up an established newspaper. Thankfully when we put it into context, we realise that Tiger Woods is a golfer. Still, I bet Tiger Woods wasn't at all thrilled with piece.28. An unlucky name
Image Source/ thoughtcatalogIn this case, it's a blessing that we are all reading this heading so that on our double take we can acknowledge the name. Because, listening to the headline without writing would be even worse. I guess with a name like Seaman the continuous jokes and confusion is probably inevitable.29. Sumo wrestling snicker bars
Image Source/ rankerThere are just so much bizarre things going on here that it is hard to unpack what is actually happening. We have a woman dressed as a sumo wrestler who is assaulted for waving at a man in a gay bar who is dressed as a Snickers bar. Sorry, what? It doesn't get much crazier that this...30. Blast from the past
Image Source/ rankerImagine...there was life before having TVs. No movie, no Netflix or Sky...what did people do? It is crazy to us now to see the development of the TV and the announcement in the newspaper. Thankfully those results of years of experiments worked. Imagine the revelation at the time.31. The Taste Of Garlic Bread And Tears
Image Source / Cheezburger.comTo be fair, I bet that was a pretty amazing smell. We all know how delicious it smells when one garlic bread is cooking in the oven, but imagine an entire factory! But we don't blame this person for mourning one of the most delicious stodgy foods there is. RIP garlic bread.32. He Didn't See It Coming
Image Source / Cheezburger.comIt's the dramatic picture that gets me. This is either a convincing re-enactment or that was genuinely what he was wearing as best man to a wedding, which is worrying it itself. And the tagline '... and wait until you hear where it came from" - chef's kiss.33. It's The Squirrel Apocalypse
Image Source / Cheezburger.com"The squirrels disrupted a funeral, and I took that personally". This guy is seriously not letting these squirrels off for what they disrupted... and he looks like he means business. Sounds almost like a b-movie horror, doesn't it?34. But Did She Walk Like Rihanna?
Image Source / Cheezburger.comThis woman must seriously be Rihanna's number one fan - and to be fair, there's nothing worse than someone telling you to turn your music down when you're just jamming - even if it is your own daughter. Who you then decide to bite.35. Banned For Doing What Now?
Image Source / Cheezburger.comRemind me never to eat seaweed again. Not that I did anyway, but now I definitely won't be. Off all the things you can eat at a Chinese buffet, too, a small part of you has to wonder why she chose the seaweed in particular...36. All Her Dreams Came True
Image Source / Cheezburger.comAs crazy as this headline is, can you really blame her? Especially if she had a boss that had made her working life a misery, imagine her sweet relief - in more ways than one - when she found out she'd won the lottery and could leave.37. An Overreaction?
Image Source / Cheezburger.comTo be fair, we don't know the backstory to this. This woman could have been abused by her boyfriend for a long time and this was just the final straw of what he did to her... or, he could have done absolutely nothing wrong before this. Either way, a pretty crazy situation.38. Again?!
Image Source / Cheezburger.comHe looks like he's either trying to hold in laughter, or tears. Or both. What he didn't hold in with his desire to get jiggy with a pool raft - for the second time, it would seem! Did he not learn his lesson from the first time? What's so special about this pool raft?39. New Phone, Who Dis?
Image Source / Cheezburger.comOf all the people you could accidentally text in this moment... It's like when you're thinking so hard about making sure you don't do something that you accidentally end up doing it. He must have been thinking really hard about making sure he doesn't text his probation officer.40. Breaking Butt
Image Source / Cheezburger.comNobody should leave their phone in their pocket. Period. Because stuff like this just happens. I mean, at the best of times, you're wasting the 911 emergency service's time, at worst you're admitting to a crime that you don't even know they're listening in on.41. Now Wait A Minute - She Had A Point
Image Source / Cheezburger.comCan you imagine a world where McNuggies didn't exist? And when you get that craving, travel to a McDonald's store only to find out they don't have any... This woman might have had a point when she considered it a state of emergency.42. It's Kinda Part Of The Job Description?
Image Source / Cheezburger.comAccording to this news story, though, this particular 'sting' was doing everything in its power to make sure prostitutes weren't, in fact, getting screwed. Although, of course, 'screwed over' would have probably fit better for this headline...43. Poor Choice Of Words
Image Source / Cheezburger.comHow did they not know what they were doing when they wrote this headline?! If he's managed to remain armed and on the run all this time then you can't help but have major respect for this amputee. Let's hope he doesn't get caught red-handed.44. Well What Else Was She Going To Do With It?
Image Source / Cheezburger.comLike all these hot mugshot people get modelling contracts, maybe this woman would get a makeup artist contract. She has the eye for it, at least. Though to be honest, that's gotta be some seriously expensive makeup because all I can see is eyeshadow!45. Ya THINK?!
Image Source / Cheezburger.comIn theory... maybe he thought this would be a homemade vibrator or something. In reality... MAJOR MISTAKE. But makes for an incredible headline. And we'll never look at popping candy the same again. Ew.46. She Really Loves That Song
Image Source / Cheezburger.comWhat's funnier is how different she looks in both photos. Obviously being arrested so many times - as well as playing that song on the repeat - changed her face shaped? But anyway, it's a great song, so we don't blame her.47. When You've Got It, Flaunt It
Image Source / Cheezburger.comI mean... if you're looking for a place to hide your weed... don't have a bag handy... don't really wanna stick up anywhere up yourself... and you have the rolls of fat ready to go... why wouldn't you?48. Holy Cow!
Image Source / Cheezburger.comThis... this is a lot to process. These people must have really, really trusted their pastor to believe this. Which makes it all the more worse that he betrayed their trust in the worst, most random, most disgusting possible way.49. What Did The Moon Ever Do To Him?
Image Source / Cheezburger.comHe may have actually got the metaphorical phrase 'shooting for the moon' all messed up... but you can't blame a man for trying! But at least he tried to shoot a celestial body instead of a person... so there's that.50. It Gets Worse With Every Word
Image Source / Cheezburger.comGordan Ramsay, okay, so we're talking about the celeb chef... no, no hang on... sex dwarf?! Okay so there's a Gordan Ramsay sex dwarf, that's a news story in itself, but that's not even what the story is about... he's been eaten by a badger! We're gonna need a moment to process that.What To Read Next
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