They Would Never Let You Play Your Fav Playlist In The Car

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Can you imagine not being able to blast out your favorite tune during a road trip? But you can probably imagine, because it happened to you. Would your ex turn the radio down or off every time you put your anthem on? Or would they only ever play their own music and not let you be in control of the playlist?

They Would Never Hit The ‘Like’ Button On Your Instagram Pictures

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A supportive partner should support your social media life, too, which means spamming that Like button and being your biggest cheerleader, whether it’s a ‘big news’ post about an accomplishment or something as simple as what you had for lunch. Did they ever once Like one of your Insta pics?

They Watched The Next Episode Of A Netflix Show Without You

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Every couple knows that this is absolute blasphemy. You should never watch the next episode of a show that you’re binge-watching as a couple without your partner being there. It’s a sign that they didn’t consider you important enough to have to wait to watch the next episode – and, worse, they didn’t understand what the big deal was.

Or Even Cancelled A Streaming Subscription

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What could be worse than watching the next episode, we hear you ask. Well, cancelling a subscription altogether when you’re in the middle of watching something! Have they decided that they don’t want to pay for the subscription anymore, or that they don’t want to watch anything else? Without talking to you about it?

They Would Buy Themselves Something If They Popped Out, But Not You

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If a partner is out and about, whether to the grocery store or the mall, for most couples they would usually buy something cute for their partner if they saw it, like ‘oh I know they’d love this!’ It could even be something simple like bringing a donut back for you. But did they always just buy stuff for themselves and never you?

If They Went To The Shops, They Wouldn’t Check If You Wanted Anything

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They’re nipping out to the grocery store – you’d think ‘won’t be long, babe, do you need anything?’ would be the go-to question when they’re heading out the door. But nope. They never turned around – never looked back – to ask whether you needed anything when they were heading out for errands.

90% Of Your Living Space Was Their Stuff

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If you lived together with your ex, was your home overrun with their stuff, with no room for yours? Or, was it basically empty save for a few of their items but then they’d still say that you weren’t allowed to put too much of your stuff about? It just sounds like they definitely didn’t want it to feel too much like your home, too!

And Made To Their Taste, Too

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Whatever stuff you did have in your house or apartment, it was all pretty much to their taste. Whether it was the color on the walls, the bedsheets or even down to the tiniest kitchen implement, it was more to their taste without thinking of something you’d both like, or being willing to compromise.

You Never Got Anything Personal For Anniversaries

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While it’s ‘the thought that counts’ for gifts and anniversaries, it’s a big tell if you never got anything that meant anything personal for the two of you on anniversaries. If you got gifts that just didn’t make any sense or didn’t look like they’d have any thought put into them, it could be because they just couldn’t be bothered – or didn’t even want to celebrate an anniversary properly anyway.

Or Valentine’s

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If for Valentine’s you got very generic or trashy stuff that you already made clear to your partner that you would never like, it just shows they’re not listening to you or even thinking about what you would like. It’s only a waste of time and money if they got you something you’d never like, so it just shows how unbothered they were about the occasion.

Or Your Birthday!

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What your partner gets you for your birthday can say a lot about how they feel about you, especially because your birthday is more cause for celebration than Valentine’s or an anniversary. So if for birthdays you got very random gifts that just didn’t reflect your personality at all, it could be a sign they didn’t know you very well – or just didn’t care.

And That Was Only If They Even Remembered Important Dates

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Of course, it’s a brownie point if they even remembered these dates in the first place – so if your ex never even remembered when your anniversary or birthday was, it’s not really any excuse because it just means they didn’t think the dates were important enough to write down or set an alarm on their phone for!

It Was Always Just ‘Sex’

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When you’re in a relationship with someone, it should be more than just sex, every single time. You can always have quickies and times that are more fun than overly intimate, but the problem is more if it was only ever ‘just sex’ Every. Single. Time. It’s a red flag if there was never any intimacy on the level of being deeply in love!

And There Was Never Any Aftercare

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You can tell a lot about a person or relationship based on what happens post-sex. Did they jump out of bed as though it was on fire and then disappear for the rest of the day? If they didn’t take time to at least give you a cuddle and talk for a bit, then it just shows they didn’t like that level of intimacy.

They Would Plan Trips Without You

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There’s nothing wrong with going on trips without your partner, whether with friends, family or alone, when you’re in a happy, secure relationship. Some people are just independent like that. The difference is if your ex planned trips without telling you or asking you first, and never ever wanted to go on a vay-cay with you at all.

There Was Never Any Of Your Fav Stuff Stocked Up When You Went Round

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If you didn’t live together, it makes sense in a relationship that they’d still buy your fav snacks or drink for when you come round for some chill-time or Netflix binging. But if you went round and there was never anything special for you to eat or drink – only the stuff that they liked – it just shows they weren’t thinking of you.

They’d Always Buy You The Wrong Drink

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Most couples will be able to make their partner’s drink order for them, or at least know the kind of things they like after getting used to it from going out together. But did your ex not only not know your preferred drink, but then proceed to buy you the total opposite of what you’d like? Assuming that they’d done the right thing?

They Never Accepted Your Friend Or Follow Request On Social Media

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If you’re both on social media, it makes sense you’re going to be followers and friends on there, too. Especially because on Facebook you need to be connected friends to make it ‘Facebook Official’ for your relationship. So it’s a bit of a red flag if they never wanted to interact with you on social media at all.

They Couldn’t Remember Your First Date

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It’s something every couple should be able to remember – their very first date, and how they first connected. It’s naturally planted in your brain when you’re dating someone – either for the best reasons or because you laugh about how you embarrassed yourself. If they don’t remember your first date whatsoever, they obviously didn’t think it important enough to take up space in their brain.

Forehead Or Cheek Kisses Were The Norm

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This isn’t a big deal if you’re also sharing big, intimate snogs – but if they never, ever kissed you on the mouth and only ever diverted to cheek or forehead when you tried to kiss them, it’s a sign they obviously didn’t want to kiss you properly and was making it feel a bit weird and distant.

They Acted Like You Were A Stranger In Public

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Some couples don’t like PDA, there’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t have to take your clothes off in public to prove you love each other. But if they took it to the extreme of acting like you were a complete stranger in public – not even making eye contact with you or barely even talking to you – they obviously didn’t want to be seen with you.

Their Response To “I Love You” Wasn’t “I Love You Too”

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This means for the entirety of the relationship, not just at the beginning when you might have said it first and they were too scared to say it back. If every time you say, “Love you!’ their response is “Oh thanks” or “Yeah you’re great too” it’s just a sign they don’t want to say it. Because they don’t.

They Always Forgot Your Schedule (Your Job, Your Social Life Etc.)

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You can’t be expected to remember your partner’s complete schedule on a daily basis, but it’s a bit of a disappointment if they don’t remember a single thing about what you do on a daily basis. They forget who your friends are, forget what some of your job responsibilities are, forget that you go to the gym on a Wednesday night even though you’ve done that for the whole of your relationship…

They Didn’t Know Your Hobbies

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It’s part of being a couple to know (and respect) the sorts of things your partner likes doing in their spare time: playing an instrument, going to the bar, going to the gym, reading etc. If you’re not talking about your hobbies as a couple, you’re doing it wrong. So if they didn’t know or show any interest in your hobbies, it’s a bad sign.

They’d Never Cook Your Favorite Meals

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Having your favorite meal every once in a while – or as often as you can – just makes sense. Why wouldn’t you? As a couple, you’re bound to want to share you favorite meals during a night in together, and if one of you is cooking, it’s nice to treat the other person to their fav dish. But you never had yours cooked for you. Ever!

If You Went Out To Eat, They’d Always Pick The Restaurant

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Some couples may celebrate this fact, because we all know the ‘so where do you want to eat?’ debate that can take a century to decide, by which point you’ve withered away. There’s nothing wrong with a partner taking control and making the decision – the problem is more if they never, ever ask your opinion or go to the places you want to go.

If You Traveled, They’d Blast Music Or Put Earphones In Instead Of Talking

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A road trip or a long train ride together is the perfect excuse to chat, or at least listen to the music you both want to listen to. But if their go-to whenever you had a long travel time together was to block you out with earphones, or their own music, they obviously didn’t want to talk to you.

You Were Always Left On Read

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This is a common issue for many people, but usually not by someone who supposedly loves you. Did they never, ever reply to your messages? Worse, did they actually read them and then make the conscious choice to actually not reply to your questions or even later say ‘sorry it took so long’ and then reply?

They Happily Let You Go Somewhere Alone

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You can do things alone and separately in a happy relationship – the problem is if they showed no interest in doing things with you and encouraged you to go off and do it alone. It’s worse if it’s things that should be sociable couple things, too, like telling you to go have a drink at a bar by yourself or that they didn’t feel like joining you to eat out.

Their Gestures Were More Like A Friend

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Did they pat you on the back or shake your hand instead of giving you a hug or kiss? Was their tone of voice or body language more to that of a ‘buddy’ or a work colleague? You just got the vibe there was nothing about their gestures or body language that said, ‘Yeah, I love you and can’t keep my hands off you.’

They’d Let Go Of You Super Quick If They Hugged You

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It’s almost as though touching you gives them an electric shock. If they hugged you, especially in public, it’d be over before it had even begun. There arms would barely even find you before they were already pulling away, and they probably wouldn’t make eye contact before or after either.

They Took Up 90% Of The Bed

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On purpose. Without a care in the world. Never mind that you’d fall out of it every night, or be rammed into the wall, they just didn’t care. Their sleep position and good night’s sleep was more important than you shivering with the tiny corner of the sheet you share. And then when you told them about it, they’d say ‘sorry’ and do it again anyway.

They Also Snored, And Never Tried To Do Anything About It

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Ah, to be in bed with a snorer. Isn’t it great? We all know people can’t help snoring, but it’s more about whether they actually take steps to stop so that you can get a good night’s sleep. When you told them about it, did they just say, ‘I don’t snore’ and then make you live with it? Did they not even try to at least not sleep on their back or try a mouth guard for once?

They Never, Ever Spooned You

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It’s a crime if you haven’t spooned in bed with your partner at least once in your relationship. If you love someone, spooning comes naturally, whether you prefer to be the big spoon or little spoon. When you tried to get close to them, did they scoot away to the other end of the bed with their back to you?

They’d Always Drive To Your Least Favorite Fast Food Place

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Those late nights as a couple when you have a hankering for something greasy and usually you’d hit up your favorite Drive-Thru and share it in the car. But for you, they’d always go to the place you never wanted to go, with food you didn’t really like, and you just sort of had to order the least offensive thing on the menu.

You Never Had Pillow Talk

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Well, it makes sense if they took up most of the bed, didn’t spoon you and snored. Where is there any time left for pillow talk? You never enjoyed those cute convos in bed as a couple because they just weren’t interested. If you turned to talk to them they were probably already asleep.

Silences Were VERY Awkward

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When you love someone and you’re comfortable with them, silences are never going to be awkward. You can happily sit together without the need to make small talk, or say anything at all. But for you, were the silences the most awkward cringe-worthy thing on the planet? Were you constantly fumbling for something to say just to fill the void?

You Were Never Their Phone Background

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You had a ton of couples photos (probably taken by you) or maybe just the odd sexy selfie you’d sent them. But did they ever set you or a couple photo as their phone background? Nope. It was probably some fictional character or – worse – a standard default phone wallpaper they’d rather look at than a photo of you.

Your Name In Their Phone Wasn’t Saved With Any Cute Emojis

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It’s just a rule that when you’re dating someone, you save their name in your phone with some variation of emoji: a love heart, cute blushy face, a rose, even a poop emoji if you’re one of those couples. But your name was simply saved as… you name. Nothing. No emojis, no color, no happy, excited smileys.. just your name.

They Cleared Out Old Messages From You

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Everyone knows that you never delete old messages from your partner when you’re still with them, you just don’t. How else are you going to scroll back through a year’s worth of messages and smile at all the cute, dorky things you’ve sent to each other? But your partner may have made ‘delete messages older than a week’ a daily to-do list item.

They Didn’t Have A Cute Nickname For You

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They never had some cute way of saying your name that made no sense and was unique to them. They never had a nickname for you that only you and them could understand and laugh at your little secret. They didn’t even bother to just go with ‘babe’ or ‘hun’, they just called you by your first name. ALL THE TIME.

They’d Turn Up Late For EVERYTHING

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You can’t help being late at some point in a relationship, sometimes it can’t be helped with traffic and what not. But were they late to absolutely every little thing that you planned together? Can you even remember a time when they turned up at the agreed time? To make it worse, were they on time for everything else in their life?

You Never Had Date Nights

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Not even one! They never really showed much interest in putting aside a day a week, a month or even one day a year to have an official date night with you and go out like you used to do in the early days. If you suggested it to them, they might have made it clear they thought it was a stupid idea.

You Weren’t On Their Speed Dial

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You were never saved as a priority or favorite contact on their phone – they even had their fave takeout place on speed dial, but not you. Friends, food places, colleagues, parents… they were all on there before you even got a look in. You were probably surprised you were even saved in their phone at all.

They Never Wanted To Do A Couple’s Halloween Costume With You

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Couples Halloween costumes are the BEST kind. They’re so much fun, and there are a ton of hilarious ideas out there to try – but your ex never wanted to. They might not have even wanted to dress up at all, which is a million times worse. You always need someone willing to embarrass themselves on Halloween with you – and your ex was NOT it.

You Didn’t Have A Song

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Most couples have A SongTM. The music you heard on your first date, the song you remember when you realised you loved them for the first time, or the song that was playing the first time you… ya know. But you didn’t have a single piece of music that meant anything between you and your ex, or about the relationship.

They Never Let You Win At Games. Ever

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You can be extra competitive in a relationship and have fun seriously trying to beat the other person. Letting the other person win can be less fun that having a playful competition and then laughing about it afterwards. But did they take every game WAY too seriously? Did they never, ever back down or let you win, and even get angrily competitive?

They Never Complimented Your Outfit Before Going Out

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‘You look nice’ or ‘that new outfit looks great’ – nope. They never bothered to make a single comment on whatever you were wearing, or give your self-esteem a nice boost before you went out for the day. They might not have even spared you and your outfit a second glance before heading out the door.

Or – Worse – They’d Tell You To Change

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Nothing screams Controlling Partner more than them telling you to change before you went out. Even if they said it in a jokey way, it still counts as a huge no-no. Not only did you not get compliments, but they’d use energy instead to tell you all the reasons your outfit was wrong and why you should change.

They Never Let You Steal Their Clothes

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It’s an unwritten rule that at least one hoody must be stolen and worn by your partner in a relationship, without hope of ever getting it back. But your ex may have never even let you touch their clothes. They probably had a huge padlock on their wardrobe and made sure never to leave jumpers on the floor so that you couldn’t swipe them up.