Divorced Lawyer Reveals The Top 10 Reasons Why Marriages Collapse
By Anna Collins
1 year ago
1. Infidelity
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Infidelity is stated by divorce lawyers as one of the top reasons for the breakdown of marriages. According to one study, 15% of women and 25% of men have an affair in the US. When the spouse finds out, it is almost a certain breakdown. Or, even the guilt from the other party can drive a wedge in the marriage.2. Lack of communication
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Communication is key...you'll have heard it a thousand times whether you're married or not. But it is true. And when the communication breaks down, so does the marriage. Being open and honest is the only way to build on the marriage, stay in touch with each other and know if both parties are happy.3. Disagreements about finances
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Finances are a very sensitive topic to a lot of people, and a very common reason that a marriage breaks down. Often, one person in the relationship takes more control of the finances. But if they are not open about them, or they make big decisions alone this can push the other person out. Similarly, if financial struggles are hidden, the other person can feel betrayed and let down.4. Feeling held back!
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Feeling held back in the relationship essentially means that somebody is not feeling fulfilled or satisfied in the marriage. This in turn will lead to resentment as they blame their other half for holding them back and not being able to achieve their goals and dreams.5. Lack of trust
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Healthy and happy relationships and marriages are built on a solid foundation of trust. If that disappears, or was never there, the relationship will slowly but surely breakdown. The mistrust will lead to assumptions and no marriage can work if the other party doesn't fully trust their actions.6. Unmet expectations
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Everybody has expectations, whether this is an expectation of effort into the marriage or an expectation of how a spouse treats that person. But when these expectations are not met, it will lead to a feeling that the marriage is no longer providing their needs and wants.7. Insecurity
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Insecurity is the feeling that you are not secure, safe or stable within the marriage. It can lead to doubts and mistrust. When someone in the marriage is insecure, they can need a lot of reassurance. But it can put a strain on the relationship as it can lead to the other person feeling as though their partner does not trust them.8. Rapid changes to your lifestyle
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Rapid lifestyle changes can completely disrupt a marriage. This could be anything, whether it is moving house, moving country or having a child. If the marriage cannot cope with these changes it will add a huge amount of strain and the marriage will not cope and eventually break down.9. Disagreements about religious beliefs
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Religion can be a huge part of life, it can determine how somebody lives and everything somebody believes in. So, when disagreements arise regarding religion it can be make or break for a marriage. Because a person of a faith may prioritise this over anything, and if their partner cannot accept or understand, the marriage will not work.10. Abuse
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Of course, abuse (in any form - physical/ emotional/ financial etc.) in a relationship is unacceptable on any level. And, when the person being abused finally manages to realise or get out of the relationship, the marriage is over. Abuse, sadly is a common reason for the breakdown of marriage in the US.11. Cultural differences
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Cultural differences entail a whole host of different things, such as values, lifestyle desires and more. Cultural differences can cause huge friction in a relationship when two people want to live in different ways, and those two people prioritise different things in life.12. Weight gain!
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You may read this and think...surely not! But weight gain according to US divorce attorneys is a big cause of divorce. This is because drastic changes in appearance can lead to the attraction in a relationship fading. And, if the person who has changed feels super self conscious they may distance themselves from their partner.13. Lack of physical intimacy
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Lack of physical intimacy, including sex, is one of the main reasons for marriage breakdowns according to US lawyers. A study revealed that 15% of married men, and 27% of married women hadn't had sex for the past year. When affection or intimacy is lacking, people's needs may not be met and it may result in a partner feeling rejected or unwanted.14. Lack of equality
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Marriages should be equal, even if people take one different roles - the essence of the marriage should be equal. For example, both parties should equally respect one another. When someone feels their is a lack of equality, this is slippery slope to divorce because they may feel unappreciated or disrespected by their partner.15. Not being fully prepared for marriage
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Marriage is no walk in the park, it takes a lot of time and commitment and it takes sacrifice. So when people start a marriage without fully being prepared, it can come as a huge shock. According to divorce lawyers, 9% of 30 year old have already had a divorce.16. Addiction
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Addiction takes over somebody's life. It consumes them. So the marriage is secondary to their addiction because they cannot control it. It could be alcohol, drugs gambling...but whatever it is, it can destroy a relationship because that person cannot stop and prioritise the marriage because it overtakes them. Most partners cannot deal with this, and so it regularly leads to divorce.17. Falling out of love
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Sometimes, there's no reason, there's no fault or blame...people simply just stop loving each other anymore. It's a sad fact, but it's a super common reason for divorce. In these cases sometimes it can lead to a friendship after the divorce instead.18. One half experiencing personal struggles
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According to law firms, a common reason for the breakdown of marriages is when one half of the marriage is experiencing some kind of personal struggle which puts a strain on the other person, and the relationship. For example, one common reason is if one spouse is having mental health issues and their partner is finding it too difficult to handle.19. Lack of commitment
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No successful marriage can happen without 100% commitment. So if one half of the marriage has a lack f commitment, it will never work. For one, the marriage will suffer, as will the other person who resents the fact that they are fully committed and their spouse is giving them only a fraction of that back.20. Lack of freedom
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If somebody in a marriage feels that they no longer have their freedom, it can soon lead to that person feeling trapped and suffocated by the marriage and their other half. Especially, if their other half has the freedom to do what they want. This hypocrisy does not lend well to a happy marriage. A study showed that 24% of men and 44% of women feel a lack of freedom in their marriages.21. Regular conflicts
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Disagreements are absolutely natural and health, if it's int he right way. A healthy disagreement is airing your views in a constructive way, ready to find a resolution. A toxic fight regard changes in tone and purpose. Regular conflicts in a marriage without resolution can lead to a complete breakdown and it is a regular reason for divorce.22. Nothing in common!
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Sometimes people are attracted because they are opposite to one another, hence the long time saying 'opposites attract'. And yes, it's true. But after many years together it can also be the downfall of a marriage. When the attraction of your differences start to wear off and you realise you don't have any shared hobbies or interests to talk about or do together....it can be the end for some marriages.23. The dynamics of family life
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Family life is hard, there's no two ways about it. Juggling a marriage, a career, children...and whatever else is very difficult. The dynamics of family life can take its toll and add stress tot he marriage. It can also result in the marriage not having the proper time and effort put into it due to everyday life taking over.24. Friends who don't like your partner
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Of course, our friends are their to support us and watch our backs and tell us if they think something is wrong. A good friend will say when they see something they think is bad for you. But, make sure these friends have your best interest at heart. Interfering family or friends in the relationship are a common reason for divorce.25. Getting married too young
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26. Unrealistic expectations
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Unrealistic expectations are not fair in a marriage or relationship because nobody can live up to them. So, the person putting those expectations of their partner will feel unsatisfied. And the partner who cannot live up to them will feel unfairly treated.27. One sided-ness
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One-sidedness in a healthy marriage will never work, because it will eventually make the other person feel unhappy, and like they are giving too much to the relationship and sacrificing too much without getting back the same amount of effort in return.28. Dropping the politeness/manners
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This may sound like a tiny little thing. But as soon as the manners and the politeness goes from a relationship, so does the respect. Manners and politeness cost nothing, but without them it can be severely detrimental to making one another feel as though they are not worthy of basic manners.29. Selfishness
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Marriage is a two way street, and it takes effort and compromise on both sides. When one partner is selfish, the other partner feels as though they are unappreciated. And when one person take take takes, it will never be satisfactory for the other person who is getting less back from the relationship.30. Marrying for the wrong reasons
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If you marry it has to be because you love that person wholly (flaws fully accepted), and want to spend the rest of your life with them despite the fact that they'll be ups and downs. If you've married to not be alone, or because you wanted to find someone with money, it can never work. The cracks will show because the true compatibility isn't there.31. Substance Abuse
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If one person in a marriage is struggling with substance abuse, it can take all the support they can get from their spouse to help them through it. But sometimes addiction and abuse just can't be overcome without professional help and it can cause a rift - that sometimes might not be able to heal with drugs or alcohol are involved.32. No Time For Each Other
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Quality time is crucial for a successful relationship, but what's more crucial is your attitude towards it. If you don't have any time for each other because you're not making time for each other and you don't care, that's inevitably going to lead to a break up in the long-run!33. Completely Different Schedules!
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Maybe on spouse got a new job in the middle of the marriage which completely upended the entire schedule. One is now working nights while the other is still working days. You don't even see each other in the house you share, let alone any other time. Days off aren't shared either.34. One Wants An Open Relationship - The Other Doesn't
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This one can break a lot of couples if you're not on the same page! Open relationships can work if you both want it and have communication, but if one person wants it and the other doesn't, it's inevitably going to lead to upset, jealousy, potentially infidelity and then divorce.35. Mental Health Issues
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You would like to think that the person who loves you most in the world would support you through mental health struggles like depression or anxiety, but it doesn't always work that way. If one spouse just doesn't have the understanding or patience for depression in their partner, it's not going to bode well.36. Interfering Family Members
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The sad fact about marriage is that you're not just marrying your spouse - you're marrying their entire family, too. Which makes it a problem when the family that has now become yours is very problematic and interfering. If they interfere so much that you can't have a happy life together, you might start considering ending the marriage.37. An Ex Still Being Involved
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There are many reasons an ex partner might still be involved in your life, especially if kids from another relationship are involved. Unfortunately this can be very hard work when the ex in question is an absolute nightmare - and for one half of a couple, it might just be too much to deal with.38. Different Ideas About Moving Past Arguments
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The success of a couple isn't dependent on never arguing, it's about how you handle fallouts when they happen. The problem occurs when both people have very different ideas about how to deal with arguments. If one person is patient and forgiving but the other never, ever acknowledges they're wrong, it's eventually going to wear you down.39. One Of You Is A Narcissist
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Being in a happy relationship with a narcissist is near impossible. A narcissist will never, ever admit they're wrong, will manipulate you, even emotionally abuse and gaslight you. This will never work in a long-term marriage because it's a form of abuse and you'll never be happy!40. You Don't Have Sex Anymore
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Hitting a bump in the road when it comes to sex or lacking physical intimacy can still be worked on and overcome if you're going through a blip. But if you've completely stopped having sex and you actually don't want to anymore, this is a red flag for a dying relationship!41. Serious Debt
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You should always be on the same page with finances in a marriage, but serious debt can be a dealbreaker. If you can't see a way out - and especially if the debt is caused by one partner's excessive spending habits - it's going to push the other person to their limit!42. Emotional Affairs
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Affairs don't always have to be physical, and a lot of people will argue that emotional affairs are worse because they can be a precursor to falling in love with someone else, or being emotionally intimate with someone on the same level as your partner. This can be a difficult one to overcome for couples.43. Child Loss Or Heartbreak
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This one is a very tragic and difficult one. If a couple goes through something as heartbreaking as losing a child, or having a child be permanently injured or something serious, it can easily pull two parents apart, even if they still love each other. It might cause a breakdown in marriage.44. A Child Asking For It/Encouraging It
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When you have a child, that child instantly takes precedence over your spouse, even if you love them. Problems can arise if you have a child that doesn't like one parent and is constantly talking about how miserable they are, or even trying to emotionally blackmail you by saying if you don't get a divorce they'll stop speaking to you.45. Long Distance Gets Too Much
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There may have been a change in circumstance in the middle of a marriage where one person gets a new job, needs to relocate for a while or whatever reason that takes them far away. Long distance can work for some people - but for others, it can break you apart.46. Serial Cheating
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One act of infidelity might not always be enough to break a couple, because some people can move past it, promise it'll never happen again or even go to counselling. But serial cheating, where one partner just can't stop cheating even when they say they will, is enough to push to divorce.47. A Change In Future Goals
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You might have had the same goals when you first got together and decided to get married, but that might have all changed during the course of your marriage. One partner may suddenly want very different things in terms of life, career or even simple everyday things that can cause a problem.48. One Partner Wants Kids, One Doesn't
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This one is a huge one in terms of what a couple wants together - and for a lot of people, the truth might come out only after you've got married. Two people might have got married with the understanding they both want kids, only for one of them to turn round years into the marriage and say actually, they don't anymore.49. Bad Parenting
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You might see another side to your partner when they become a parent for the first time - and you might not like what you see. Maybe the other person turns out to be a horrible parent and it can be a huge turn off - as well as you wanting to find someone who will look after your kids a little better!50. Bad Habits Around The House
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They say that you don't really know someone until you live with them - and by the time you're married, it's hoped you would have already been living together for a while anyway. But habits can change any time in a marriage, and if one partner is not pulling their weight around the home to an extreme level, it can all become a bit too much.What To Read Next
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