Psychological Signs Someone You love Is Using You
By Molly
1 year ago
1. Focused On Themselves
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The first tell-tale sign that your loved one is using you is that their number-one priority is themselves. They believe they are the centre of the universe and everything revolves around them! As they are so busy focusing all their attention on themselves, they will have no interest in your life - Selfish!2. They Don't Listen
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Since they are only interested in themselves, the details of your life and your existence will go right over their heads. A clear sign they aren't listening to you is if they are unable to retain basic information…it’s a strong indicator that they aren’t interested enough in you!3. Loaded Favours
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Does your partner ever paint themselves as being super-helpful when they do the bare minimum? Most users will like to blow up the fact they've done you a small favour to make you feel guilty and cause you stress…they will then ask for a big favour in return and you will end up feeling indebted to them.4. They Borrow Money
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Asking your partner for finical aide from time to time is never an issue but when it because a regular occurrence you know you are being used for money. If you find that you have become a dependable source of money for your partner's activities or lifestyle then this is not normal relationship behaviour and it shows they value your wallet more than they do you!5. Fake Being Nice
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Users tend to be sly enough to know what they want and how nice they have to be to get it. They are experts at being super sweet and thoughtful when it matters and in front of friends and family but don't forget this is only for their benefit. They will soon shut down the charm when no one is looking6. No Effort
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Are you the one that's always making plans? Do you put in the effort? ... is this sounding familiar? One-sided relationships aren't relationships at all especially when you're the only one who seems to care about them! It's time to take a step back and realise that a good relationship is balanced.7. Want Sympathy
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When your love interest is having a great time you barely hear from them but once they are down in the dumps you will be there to pick up the pieces. They tend to only want to hang out when they are having a bad time and need some sympathy but trust me they won't be doing the same for you. It's time to recognise that you're being used as a security blanket!8. Get What They Want
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They are master manipulators! You feel like you can never deny them and they always know just the right way to pull your strings to get what they want. If your loved one is putting pressure on you because you've denied them a request then you are being used - this is emotional blackmail!9. All Talk And No Action
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They often disguise their true agenda by reassuring you that they will change or be better...but they fail to deliver on every occasion! This pattern of behaviour will ultimately lead you not to trust your partner and maybe it’s time you stop keeping your end of the bargain till they fulfil theirs.10. Only Ring You At Night
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Classic 101 user behaviour is if they only communicate with you at night. If your love interest or partner only tends to call/text you late at night it is a sign that you're a last resort...or in some cases a secret they want to hide from other potential partners. Don't fall for these late-night 'hook-ups' as it is a clear sign you're being used.11. You're The Last Option
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Are they all over social media having a brilliant time and you are never invited? Do they only make time for you when their other friends are busy and it's something to fill the void? Well if you feel like this is your role, then it's time to look at your relationship! You aren't only handy when it suits them and are otherwise dispensable.12. Breaks Promises
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It is no shock that people who use you often break promises. They tend to always put something or someone else before you, and your needs are not seen as a priority. They most like view you as a bit of a pushover. You have been repeatedly disappointed, and it isn't fair.13. Never Shows Gratitude
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Unfortunately, some people don't have "Thank You" in their vocabulary. It's always nice when your partner is appreciative of the things you do for them, so there isn't anything more frustrating than when they show absolutely no gratitude. They play it off as being absent-minded or they’re entitled and think they are above being grateful - Disgraceful!14. Dishonest
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Well, this next sign is no great shock but still just as heart-breaking! Users are not above lying to achieve their goals and deception is yet another one of their tools. They don't value your relationship and are simply trying to get something from you and once they have the commitment the relationship ends.15. No Respect For Boundaries
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Pushing past a partner's boundaries to meet their own needs is nothing new for a user and if your body or mind is reacting negatively to a situation then they have defiantly crossed a line (Don't feel bad). They will claim your boundaries are "unfair" or "dumb" and will never adjust their behaviour when challenged.16. Selfish In The Bedroom
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A selfish lover is never fun and although being intimate isn't about keeping track you know you are being used when every time you are together it tends to be one-sided. It can be incredibly frustrating when your partner is being selfish in bed and it can knock your confidence as well as make you question your worth.17. Have No Concern For Your Well Being
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It becomes more apparent that they don't care about how you are feeling. They constantly put you in situations where you feel uncomfortable or are easy to manipulate and will completely ignore your emotional suffering! Believe me, they will take until you have nothing left to give.18. Avoid Planning A Future
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Normally couples have "the chat" early on in a healthy relationship but a potential sign that you are being used is if they never want to put a label on your relationship or talk about your future. Of course, they may have commitment issues or other things preventing them from discussing this topic but either way, it's hard to see a future if your other half avoids the topic completely.19. No Support
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Yet another indication that you are being used by your significant other is if they don't attempt to give you any support, especially when you need it the most. A user is unwilling to make sacrifices to be with you in your time of need and will either ignore you or act like nothing is wrong.20. Overly Defensive
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You are more likely to notice if someone is using you if they get very defensive over the smallest things. When pointing out unacceptable behaviour they will shut the conversation down quite quickly and begin sprouting off excuses or try to point the blame back at you!21. Isn't Loyal
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This leads to my next sign...Have you ever had a gut feeling that your partner isn't loyal? Or have they slipped up before and promised never to do it again? Partners who have cheated or are cheating on you are using you and always able to make you feel like you are the one to blame for them doing the dirty - They have no respect!22. Doesn't Introduce You
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It's a major red flag when your romantic partner doesn't want to introduce you to their friends and family. Users will keep you to one side as a way to ensure your relationship is kept separate from their personal life and it also shows that they don't value you enough to show you off.23. Makes You Uncomfortable
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Being in a romantic relationship with the person you love should make you feel completely at ease. If you are feeling the opposite of this then there is something not quite right…Do you feel tense or jittery? Or are you on edge when they are around? These emotional/physical reactions could be signs that your partner doesn't have your best interests at heart!24. Not Affectionate
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Showing affection can be quite hard for some people but when your partner is never willing to kiss, cuddle, hold hands or show any other kind of affection towards you then they are most likely using you and chances are they aren't actually into you - Harsh I know but your partner should want to be as physically close to you.25. No Date Nights
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Can't get past the Netflix and chill stage? While there isn’t anything wrong with relaxing at home sometimes it's nice to get dressed up and enjoy each other's company in a different setting. If your partner is refusing to go on dates or is always making up excuses then this disinterest is a clear indicator that they aren't looking for a committed relationship.26 You've Become Resentful
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After everything you've been through it is no surprise that you have now built up resentment towards your loved one. The guilt-tripping, constant favours and demands for attention have been slowly driving you insane and you can't recognise the person in the mirror. If you feel yourself growing bitter and resentful of your partner know that it's time to end the relationship!27. Doesn't Open Up
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An indicator that your partner is using you is if they don't want to open up to you. You've made it clear from the get-go that your open the book but your partner is still secretive and won't share anything about themselves. These red flags will make you feel guilty and suspicious at the same time - Never a fun combo!28. Ignores Your Wishes
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With users, it's generally their way or the highway and any decision you want to make will become one-sided. It will become abundantly clear that they have no intention of listening to your opinions and that there is no compromise in this relationship. It is not only disrespectful but adds towards the stress you are already feeling!29. They Are Aggressive
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Any partner that resorts to aggressive behaviour when asked to do the smallest thing or answer a simple question is a psychological manipulator who is hiding something. They resort to anger because they wish to physically intimidate you and eventually get you to back down - Shocking behaviour!30. You Feel Drained
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You've reached the end of your rope. You are becoming regularly burnt out from the constant time and energy you've put into your relationship. Your relationship is unbalanced…they have taken everything you can give. It's time to take a step back and spend quality time with yourself, your friends and your family. Reassess the relationship - AKA ditch the loser!31. You Only Get Messages When They Want Something
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Have you noticed that you only ever really hear from them when they want or need something? Sure they might make small talk for a bit, ask what you're doing, acting like they care... and then comes the, 'So anyway, I was wondering if...' and the real reason they contacted you becomes apparent.32. And You Don't Get A Reply If You Need Something
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Any kind of relationship means give and take, so you might also contact them when you need something (though you'll make the effort to contact them in general, too!). The difference is, when you ask them for something or reach out, you don't get a reply from them. How convenient.33. He Seems To Smile More At Others
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Have you noticed that they seem to smile more and have a more approachable mood with everyone around them - and then their smile fades a bit when they turn back to you? It could be a sign they're using you because in that moment - when they're not asking anything of you - their true colors are coming out... and they're not pretty ones.34. They Don't Make Eye Contact Much
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When someone you love is using you, it doesn't mean they're doing so without guilt. They might feel really bad about it, but they still do it anyway. This can result in them making very little eye contact with you in general, because it's a sign they feel bad or are hiding something.35. When In A Group, They Lean Away From You
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When someone cares about you or feels connected to you, their body language in group situations can actually tell a lot. It's likely someone will lean towards you, even when they're talking to someone else, if they're close to you. If they're leaning away from you in a group, it's likely because they only give you attention when they need something from you.36. But They'll Lean Into You When You're Alone
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When you're alone, you're much easier for them to manipulate and to try and connect with to get what they want out of you. That's why it's more likely that they'll lean into you and use other positive body language when you're alone - it's all a tool to make you feel at ease so they can ask for what they want.37. Or The Opposite Might Be True - They're Distant When You're Alone
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But it's also the case that the opposite might be true - do they lean into you and laugh with you in groups, but when you're alone, they lean away all cold and distant? This could be because they're using you as a 'trophy' or something to be seen, like they want a group to see they have a girlfriend or a cool best friend. But when you're alone, the façade drops - because there's no one to impress!38. You've Noticed Their Mood Changes To Their Advantage
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Have you noticed their moods change completely based on whether they need you for something? Are they nice as pie when they're about to ask you for a favor, or ask you to go out with them with a group, only to frown at you and say little when they don't need you for anything?39. They Go Radio Silent A Lot - But Always Come Back
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If this person often has periods where you don't hear from them at all as though they dropped off the face of the planet, but they always come back to re-connect with you, it's likely because they don't think about you when they don't need you for anything. When they need to use you for something, bam! They get back in touch.40. Their Words Don't Match Their Actions
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This can be very confusing for you. Actions speak louder than words, after all, and you should pay attention to what they say versus what they do. If they're using you, it's likely their words will be shallow and empty - empty promises, or tactics to get you to do what they want - and their actions will say otherwise.41. Their Struggles Never Seem To End
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There's a difference between someone using you once for money lending, and it happening every single month. If they're constantly in a bad way, like 'oh would you mind lending me some money again?' non-stop, it's a bigger sign they're using you because they're not making any efforts to get back on track - they just know they can manipulate you.42. Other People Have Mentioned It
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Sometimes it might take an onlooker to tell you what's really going on - and this might be someone else you love in your life, like a parent or friend. They might have comment that it seems like X is using you, or manipulating you, and it might take this to make you rethink.43. Your gut tells you so
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Always, always trust your gut! It's there to protect you and to help you sort through your feelings - intuition is a powerful thing! So you might not need any other evidence other than your gut telling you 'yep... they're using me, aren't they?' Don't ignore any warning signals that something doesn't feel right.44. You've Noticed Them Doing The Same To Other People
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When someone is a user, it's likely they drop one person and move on to the next - you might not be the only victim. Have you notice that they use you for one thing - a date, to go to a party with them, to pay for dinner - and then the next day they're making the moves on someone else for the same thing?45. You Made A List - And It Doesn't Tally Up
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Okay, so if you were to sit down and write down all the amazing things you've done for them - listened to their problems, paid for their car repairs, grabbed the take-out coffee bill - and then write how many amazing things they've done for you, how does it measure up? We bet their column is blank!46. Someone Has Warned You About Them
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If someone is a user, it's likely people close to them would have seen this pattern of behaviour - and they might have even made a comment to you. You might meet up with their friends, family or colleagues and have them say, 'Watch out - you probably won't get that money back' or 'they always do this'!47. Easy Favors Become A Big Deal
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When you love someone, whether friend, partner or family member, doing nice things for them just comes naturally. They might hop in your car and ask for a life, text you to pick them up some food... any quick favors, and you wouldn't usually mind. But now they're a big deal because you've noticed they're piling up, and you don't like it.48. And They're Never Reciprocated
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The more you think about it, you can't remember the last time they grabbed you some food or gave you a lift when you needed it. You can't remember the last time they were respectful of your time, or even offered gas money. Whatever you've done, no matter how small, has never been reciprocated.49. They Expect Things
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They take everything for granted and assume you're going to do something. They take advantage of you so much that they don't even ask or talk about things anymore - they'll stand up from lunch and expect you to pay for the bill, they'll expect you to offer a life to a party, or expect an expensive birthday present... it doesn't matter what it is, they'll assume they're going to get it.50. And They'll Get Angry If You Call Them Out On That
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If you actually tell them they shouldn't assume and that they take you for granted, they'll likely get angry and defensive. They're using you, so they didn't expect you to stand up for yourself and be a person, you're just a thing to them. So this change will likely make them annoyed.What To Read Next
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