Traits That Would Make You A Bad Mom

1. Talking down to your child.

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It's really easy to pick up some not-so-nice parenting habits from your own parents. One of the most common is talking down to your child, rather than at them. Whether it's a generational thing or not, experts agree that it's certainly not something that should be in your parenting rulebook any more.

2. Or not listening to them at all.

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Even worse than talking down to your child and not letting them formulate their own opinions and thoughts? Not listening at all. Children want to be listened to, and by respecting their talking time, they'll be more likely to open up to you when there's a problem in the future.

3. You let your negative thoughts overwhelm you.

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Everyone suffers from negative thoughts - especially parents. When you're juggling raising a child (or more) with work and friendships and hobbies, there'll be times when stress explodes to the surface. However, if you let it overwhelm you too often, you're more likely to lash out at your children - which isn't how you should behave.

4. You can't manage frustration very well.

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Children are frustrating, it's true. There are times when you'll wonder why they can't just behave, eat their food, go to the toilet without a fuss, or just not scream in the middle of the supermarket. But having a child means being patient and understanding - not letting frustration take over and getting angry.

5. You need your child to agree with you.

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For many parents, children are a chance to 'do over' their own relationships with their parents. In this case, you might want your child to be able to do all the things your own parents never did with you. But you can't control them. Your children will grow up to be different people, that's normal, and it also means they won't agree with you on everything. Don't force opinions on them!

6. You discipline because you're angry.

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Anger is never a fruitful emotion. It overwhelms our brains and makes us do things that, normally, we wouldn't think to. So, disciplining your children when you're angry is a similarly toxic action. Are you punishing them because of the way their actions made you feel, or because it was genuinely a bad thing to do?

7. Or because you're scared.

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As well as anger, fear can be another powerful emotion when you're parenting. You might be fearful of the harm that could come to the child, or fearful of who they might grow up to be. But, again, disciplining out of fear is never okay. The trick is to embrace whatever actions come your way and stay as calm as possible.

8. You're more judgemental of your child than anyone else's.

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Do you criticise your child for doing something that you think is okay for someone else's kids? Then you should ask yourself why you hold your own child up to higher expectations than other children. If you're punishing them for 'childish' behavior - well, they're kids.

9. You remember everything wrong your child does.

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If you disclosed this to a couple's therapist, they would rightly tell you that you're not encouraging a healthy relationship with your partner. So, why do you feel it's right to do it with a small child who is just learning the ways of the world? Everybody makes mistakes - even you! - and they don't need to be punished even after they've learned to be better.

10. You don't let your child ask questions.

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Children are naturally inquisitive, and by cutting off that curiosity, you're only harming their natural pace of development. While it can be frustrating to answer endless questions every day - even some you don't know the answers to - see it as a sign that they're interested in the world and look to you for knowledge.

11. You don't apologise to your child.

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Your child should gain the same respect that you'd give to any other person on this planet. So, why would you not acknowledge when you're in the wrong? Being the bigger person and apologising is the only way to show them that you can be forgiven for your actions.

12. You compare your child to other people's.

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Comparison of any kind - whether it's comparing your child to their brothers or sisters or to other children - isn't going to be a constructive method of parenting. Every child is naturally different. Once you've accepted this, and stopped damaging their development by thinking there's something 'wrong' with them, you'll find parenting comes much more easily.

13. You're not supportive of your child's decisions.

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Just like you have to accept that your child might be different to other people's kids, you also have to accept that they will have different ways of doing things to you. The healthiest way to raise your kid is by supporting every decision that they make - even if you think it's stupid. Allow them to try things and learn from their mistakes.

14. You criticize your child's friends.

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As your children grow up, they'll go through lots of different friendships, some that will stick and others that won't. There'll be children that you don't like, perhaps that you feel are a bad influence, and others that you like. However, you shouldn't ever criticize your child's friends. Not only does it put you in an awkward position with their parents, but it also signals to your child that they can't choose their friends without your approval.

15. But you're also quick to criticize yourself.

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Criticisms can sometimes be the boost you need to change things around. However, when you find yourself listening to the critical voice in your head all the time, it's going to affect your parenting. You want to feel confident in your decisions as a mom, and your child shouldn't have to see you punish yourself for bad decision making.

16. You like to label your child.

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Children are endlessly curious about the world, and part of this is because they don't have the vocabulary to put labels on things yet. Their personality is still being moulded, and they don't understanding everything. So, be wary about labelling your child too early, especially if it's something demeaning - it might stick, and make growing up harder for them.

17. You try to be your child's best friend.

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Every parent wants a child they can hang out with, Lorelai and Rory Gilmore-style. But that's not always going to happen. You can';t force your child to be your best friend if it wants to live a more independent life, and doing so could breed resentment between your child and you, leading to more a more difficult relationship as adults.

18. You don't let them do things on their own.

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Every parent says that they're going to let their child figures things out on their own, but when it comes to it, they can't let go of the parenting reigns for long enough. It's daunting to let your child try things on their own, especially if you think it's going to go wrong, but it's the only way to teach them self-confidence.

19. You take their behavior personally.

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Bad behavior is more than just frustrating - it can make you incredibly angry. But if part of that anger is coming from the fact that you think they're doing it on purpose then stop for a second. Most likely, they're not, and they're just being a kid. Not everything is a personal vendetta against you.

20. You don't have any discipline at all.

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Disciplining a child is hard. You don't always want to raise your voice against them, but it's important that you can let them know when they're doing something wrong, and to stop. So, discipline is really important, as it helps them understand moral right from wrong - if you're not doing it, you risk them growing up to believe they can do anything.

21. You shame your child in public.

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As much as discipline and control is an important part of being a parent, you want to do this in a way that doesn't incur long-lasting affects. Unfortunately, shaming your child in front of others might. If you find yourself punishing your child frequently in front of others, consider whether you can be a little less public in the future.

22. You withdraw affection and support.

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When deciding on punishments for your child, it's important to settle on something that isn't cruel. Did you think about withdrawing hugs or saying you won't support them any more after bad behavior? That's not exactly the route to go. Children need unconditional love at all times - even when they're behaving badly.

23. You constantly tell your child how to do things.

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Children need to learn to be independent. They're not going to rely on you forever (as much as you might want them there!) So, if you find yourself telling your child how to do things all the time, and not letting them figure things out, you may be delaying their ability to be confidently independent, and to make decisions on their own.

24. You're not there for them when they need it.

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Unconditional love also means unconditional support, whether you like their decision or not. A young child needs a safety net (and older kids, too), so don't refuse it when they need you the most. Make sure they know that you'll always be there for them, even if they're going through something difficult.

25. You don't have patience for them.

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Parenting requires patience. If you don't have patience for your child, you're unlikely to get them through a temper tantrum or breakdown compassionately, and they might stop coming to you for help after a while. So, keep your cool - things take as long as they take when you have a child.

26. You don't respect boundaries.

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Just as you want your child to respect your boundaries (whether that's sleeping in your bed or not coming into the bathroom when you're on the loo), you also need to respect their boundaries. Children want to behave independently and do their own thing - allow them that.

27. You don't respect your child.

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If you don't respect your child's boundaries, chances are you're simply not respecting them. Children deserve and demand respect, and giving them that can help them grow up to be well-rounded adults who know how to give respect to others, no matter the circumstances.

28. You can't have fun with your child.

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Children are silly people - that's natural! They live in a completely different world to adult's and see the world in ingenious and imaginative ways. If you can't vibe with their weird and wonderful imagination, then you're also not parenting right. Let them do their thing - and join in with them.

29. You're not proud of your child's achievements.

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This is easily one of the worst parenting traits to have. Every parent should be proud of their child, no matter what they do. It doesn't matter if you don't agree with the route they've chosen or how they've gone about it - be proud of who they are and what they're doing with their life.

30. You help them solve every problem they have.

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Children often need hand-holding, yes - but not always. Jumping in whenever your child has a problem to solve it for them or tell them what to do isn't a good way of showing them they have the ability to do it themselves - and it won't do their problem-solving abilities any good, either. So, stand aside sometimes. They can do it.

31. You try to force them into what you always wanted

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There were probably many things you missed out on as a kid, whether missed opportunities or things you wish you would have done differently. Being a bad mom can often mean trying to manipulate your child into doing the things you wish you could have done.

32. Or you try to live through them

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You might also be trying to make them do things you would want to do, but can't do now that you're older. You might be forcing them into a career choice you would want, rather than the one they want, or encouraging them to do things you find interesting rather than listening to what they want.

33. You don't take care of your own health

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One of the worst things you can do as a mom is forget to take care of yourself. Of course your kid's health and happiness comes first in your eyes, but you're not going to be in the best way to look after them if you aren't looking after yourself, too! You should never be neglecting self-care.

34. You're completely disorganized

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It can be very difficult to stay organized when you have a very young baby, but it's a bad mom trait if you let the disorganization continue for longer than it should. If you don't have a handle on everything that needs doing, it could impact your kid's day-to-day negatively.

35. You preach good habits but don't practice

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There are many things you want to make sure your kids aren't doing, like teaching them healthy screen time, what to say and what not to say, and how to behave. But if you're telling them they can't play games on their tablet for family meal times and then getting out your own phone at the table, it's a bad example!

36. You talk negatively around the kids

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You can be the most positive and encouraging mom in the world when you're talking directly to your kids - but what about how you talk around them, when you don't think they can hear? If you're talking negatively in front of them where they can hear, like on the phone to your best pal, it's a bad influence.

37. You live only for them

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You should never forget the person you were before you had kids, and not let yourself become a mom who is only living for them. You can prioritize your kid's happiness knowing you'll have to make sacrifices as a parent, but don't forget that you're a person with individual interests, too!

38. You worry too much - about EVERYTHING

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Moms are bound to worry when it comes to their kids, but it can be a bad thing if you're worrying so much that it's negatively impacting your kids' lives. If you're stopping them from doing certain things just because you're worried, you might end up wrapping them up too much in cotton wool and having them miss out on key experiences.

39. You don't give them privacy

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There definitely needs to be boundaries when it comes to privacy between a mom and her growing child. There needs to be limits to how much you can ask them, or pry into. You might think you're only protecting them by going through their phone, listening in on conversations or spying on them, but they'll resent you when they find out.

40. You never ask for help

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Being a super mom doesn't mean being capable of doing absolutely everything yourself - it's okay to ask for help when you need it, especially if you're a single mom. If you're getting overwhelmed and never asking for help, your kids may be suffering for it if there are certain things you don't have time to do, or have to cut corners with.

41. You neglect your own sleep

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Being a mom is busy work, and you need every hour of daylight you can get! But that doesn't mean compromising on your own sleep just to bring your kids up right. You're only going to run yourself into the ground, which won't do them - or you - any favors in the long run!

42. You neglect your marriage/relationship

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It's very easy for couples to grow apart after they've had children, even when they don't mean to, because kids take up so much time and energy. If you're actively neglecting your own marriage or relationship because you're obsessing over your kids, it's a destructive quality - you need to find a good balance!

43. You don't spend enough quality time outdoors

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If you're a mom who's spent a ton of money on all the best kids gadgets to play with at home, or if you've bought a big family forever home to play with the kids in, you still might be missing out on key opportunities outside. Kids need fresh air and nature, as well as exercise - and not only that, it's free!

44. You spend money on everyone but yourself

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Looking after yourself also includes treating yourself from time to time - you should never feel guilty about setting some money aside to buy yourself a pamper session or buy a gift for yourself. It's easy to feel bad if you're thinking you could have bought your kid something instead, but you need to treat yourself with kindness, too.

45. You lie to them

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Kids will always appreciate honestly. There's nothing wrong with a little white lie - like Santa being real - but if you're lying to them about absolutely everything because you don't have the energy for a deep conversation, or you're worried they won't understand, it could impact your relationship in the long run.

46. You talk negatively about people your kids love

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If your kid has someone else in their life they love to be around, like a new teacher they're excited about, a new friend or even the friendly neighbor they like, you shouldn't discourage that. It could also upset them if they hear you talking negatively about them - so if you happen to not be the biggest fan of that particular teacher, at least don't tell your kid that!

47. Or about things they love to do

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The same applies to things your kid likes to do, even if it seems bizarre to you. If they have a strange fascination with the soil and worms in the garden, don't talk negatively about it or tell them to stop. They're just being curious or might have a future as a gardener! Encourage them about harmless things!

48. You try to dissuade them from moving out

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If your kid is at that age where they're ready to venture out on their own, then you've reached a time parents struggle with when your child is ready to fly the nest! Even though it hurts, one thing you shouldn't do is to try and persuade them to stay longer, just to make yourself feel better.

49. You're instantly sceptical of new people they're dating

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If they're at the age where they have started dating, too, very overprotective moms can also treat new partners unfairly from the off, just because they don't think anyone is good enough for their child. It's natural to think that way, but rein it in and give new people a chance!

50. You insist on joining them on dates

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This one's considerably worse if you do this, too! If you're that protective over your child that you aren't even willing to let them have privacy on a date, it's an issue. If you're joining them in the living room for movie night, going to the same restaurant as them at the same time as their date or just happen to be taking a walk in the same park they're planning to go to, it's all a recipe for overstepped boundaries!