Wedding Planner Reveals What Causes The Biggest Arguments Between Couples Before The Big Day

Budget disagreements

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Wedding planning can be a stressful process, and there are a range of causes for conflict between couples. One of the most common is budget disagreements. Agreeing on how much to spend on a wedding, can lead to all kinds of tension, especially if a couple's income is quite tight.

Guest list issues

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Choosing who to invite to the ceremony, and managing guest list additions can be a great source of tension. This is common with couples that have large families, and don't want there to be a limit on attendees. It can also be difficult to decide who is invited to the ceremony and reception, and vice versa.

Venue selection

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Couples may have different preferences when it comes to the location of the wedding, and the style of venue they are envisaging. This isn't as common as some other sources of conflict, but it can still cause disagreements (especially if the budget is restrictive).

Family involvement

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Interference from family members, in the planning process, can lead to arguments. If one person in the relationship is easily influenced by the opinions of their family members, they can become blind-sided to the fact that the wedding is about them and their other half, not their family members.

Wedding date conflicts

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Choosing the right date for a wedding can be tricky business, due to a range of different factors. For example, there can be clashes with personal schedules, work-related events, other peoples' weddings/birthdays and superstitions surrounding certain dates. It is important to be able to compromise, if/when necessary.

Bridal party decisions

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Selecting bridesmaids and groomsmen can be extrtxemely stressful, especially when it comes to deciding who should be the maid of honor/best man. Your significant other may not entirely agree with who you pick for your bridesmaids/groomsmen, and this can cause unnecessary tension.

Vendor choices

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Disagreements over which vendors to hire, for certain services at the wedding, can be quite common during the planning stages. This is due to a range of factors, including: difference in tastes, differences in visions for the ceremony and what style of food service there should be available.

Wedding theme/style

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Another big cause of conflict during the planning process, is a difference in visions for the ceremony. This is in reference to the wedding's aesthetic, potential theme, and color scheme. Some people prefer more traditional styles and themes, whereas other people prefer to have something a little more unique.

Cultural/religious differences

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Balancing cultural and religious traditions can be tricky, especially if they involve big celebrations for weddings. Within mixed marriages, it is common for the couple to have two ceremonies, one for each religion/culture. However, this may not be possible with smaller budgets, so it is best to try and incorporate elements from both traditions into one ceremony.

Seating arrangements

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Deciding where people sit can lead to disagreements between friends and family. This is more common for the reception, as weddings place family/friends on either side of the ceremony. Some people may feel as though they should be sat near the bride/groom, despite close family and friends being in attendance.

Dress and attire choices

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Decisions over the attire for the bride, groom, bridesmaids and groomsmen can be a source of conflict, due to a range of factors. Disagreements regarding this choice, are often rooted in differences in taste/visions for the theme and style of the overall ceremony.

Registry disputes

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Deciding on what gifts to include on the wedding registry can cause disagreements, and this can be caused by concerns about money. For example, one partner's family may be wealthier than the other's, so it would be unfair to ask for gifts that the other family may not be able to afford.

Pre-wedding parties

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Bachelor and Bachelorette parties are typically a chance for friends to take some stress off of a couple, but it can still be a source of stress and disagreements. What people have planned, may not suit what the bride/groom-to-be wants to do/what they're comfortable with taking part in.

Wedding day schedule

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Creating the timeline/schedule for the big day is another major cause of stress, and can lead to huge disagreements about what to include within the big day. One person may want to have some time to mingle before the reception, whereas another person may want to go straight from the ceremony to the reception.

Food and menu choices

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Catering is another common cause of stress during wedding planning, as couples need to pick a catering style that is going to suit their schedule, as well as the people they have attending e.g. taking into account if children are going to be there. Deciding between a buffet style, or sit-down meal can be pretty tricky.

Alcohol decisions

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Deciding whether to serve alcohol, and what kind to serve, can be a point of contention. Some couples may decide to serve alcohol after the ceremony, whereas others may wait till the reception to serve any form of alcohol. However, alcohol may not even be an option for other couples.

Wedding favors

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Choosing and budgeting for wedding favors can lead to disputes, as it can be seen as an unnecessary element for some people, whereas others feel it is a nice tradition to include. Wedding favors may only be an option, if you have money to spare from your budget, or you have a big budget to begin with.

Photography/videography

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Selecting the right freelancers/company to capture the big day can lead to potential disputes, however it is not as common as some of the other elements on this list. Some people may only want photographs from the ceremony, whereas other may want video footage as well. This is something to consider when assessing your overall budget.

Transportation arrangements

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Organizing transport for the wedding party and guests can be tricky, especially if people have to travel from further afar. It is common for the close wedding party to travel in hire cars/the couple's chosen transport. The wedding guests may travel together in taxis, or a large coach may be booked for groups of guests, that live within close proximity to one another.

Decor and flowers

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Disagreements over floral arrangements and decorations, is a very common occurrence during wedding planning, and it can even occur on the big day. In order to maximize space, fit with the wedding theme and remain aesthetically pleasing, couples may envision certain arrangements for the floral/decorative elements.

RSVP management

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Collecting RSVP's, and having to manage last-minute changes is another major cause of disputes. RSVP's should be planned and sent months in advance, so people have ample time to prepare for the ceremony, and let the bride/groom know if they will be able to attend or not.

Pre-nuptial agreements

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Discussing and drafting pre-nuptial agreements can be a sensitive part of wedding planning, and can cause rifts between couples, family and friends. In some cases, prenuptial agreements aren't even considered, which can be damaging in the long-term (if a divorce does occur).

Family drama

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Any existing family tensions can intensify during wedding planning, and during the actual ceremony. These kind of tensions can be only be made worse due to factors, such as: seating arrangements, set invitations, the wedding theme, location and significant others.

Cultural expectations

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Navigating cultural differences and expectations can be challenging, especially if you want to incorporate elements of two different religions into the ceremony. It is important to not lose sight of you and your fiancee's vision for the big day, and don't feel as though you need to please everybody.

Destination wedding concerns

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Planning a wedding away from home, in a foreign country, can be extremely challenging. This is due to the strain it puts on your overall budget, and the fact that you will be restricted with the guest list. It can be a cause of upset among family and friends, especially if they cannot afford to travel for the ceremony.

Dress fittings and alterations

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Timing and fitting issues with wedding attire is one of the most stressful elements of wedding planning, especially with wedding dress alterations. If a wedding dress requires a lot of alteration, or is completely custom, it can take months for the work to be completed.

Music/entertainment

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Choosing the right band, DJ and/or playlist for the ceremony and reception can lead to disagreements, as certain songs may not be appropriate for specific venues etc. There can also be disagreements about what song should be played for the first dance etc.

Weather worries

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Outdoor weddings can be affected by weather-related concerns, which adds pressure onto picking the right day for the ceremony. This isn't too much of a concern, if the wedding is occurring within the warmer months, but this doesn't mean that difficult weather won't occur.

Wedding speeches

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Managing expectations and content for wedding speeches can be extremely stressful, especially if children are in attendance. For wedding speeches, it is important to include funny anecdotes, alongside heartfelt messages to the newly married couple (wishing them the best for their future etc.).

Honeymoon planning

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Deciding on the destination and budget for the honeymoon can lead to arguments, as your budget can restrict how far you're able to travel, as well as how long you can travel for. It is typical for couples to travel abroad, to warmer climates, but this may not necessarily fit your's, or your partner's personal preference.