12+ Likely Reasons You’re Still Single

You're scared of commitment

Image Source/ Freepik FirstCry ParentingThere are numerous factors that can cause this phobia to develop. It can be quite difficult to settle down because of the fear of making the wrong decision and being stuck with an unsatisfactory partner for the rest of your life. Narcissists tend to be commitment-phobes too.

You have high standards

Vector artwork depicts career, challenge, goal, mission, ambition, and mission.

Image Source/ Nucleus IlluminateIt doesn't necessarily mean that your partner doesn't care about you if he didn't immediately quit his job and run home in the rain while calling your name after a quarrel. Setting reasonable expectations is not only beneficial, but it is also imperative in a relationship. If you are constantly finding fault with someone for not being the perfect companion, you will never make it to the chapel.

You don't bode well with modern dating

Image Source/ Freepik pch.vectorModern dating has become incredibly impersonal and objectifying. You shouldn't start a relationship by treating the individuals in the photographs on a dating app like Tinder. You can only judge someone based on their profile photo, and if you match with them, you must rely on your messaging abilities to set up a date. A difficult task to complete.

You're too busy

Image Source/ Freepik redgreystockWe know that being in a relationship takes time (and money to be fair). If you're spending each moment of your days busy with work, socials, gym, more work, then you probably find that you don't have time for it. If this is the case for you, and you're looking for a relationship, consider making time for your pursuits.

You lack accountability

Image Source/ FreepikIt's time to work on yourself if you're still single and eager to find love so that you can be the best version of yourself both alone and in a relationship. Stop looking outside of yourself and start looking inside. The right person will come up for you if you put all of the energy you are putting into swiping and chasing people back into your self-development.

You believe love equals pain

Image Source/ ToonpoolLove should never equal pain, no matter how much you should believe it does. When you seek love that causes you to feel hurt, degraded and upset, you should re-evaluate whether that is the sort of relationship you want, and how it will ultimately end.

You value your alone time too much

Image Source/ Freepik rawpixelAlone time is the most important thing for self-care and self-help, it's crucial that we all have an element of balance in our lives. However, some of us value this time more than others, and this results in us being reluctant to give that time up, especially to a lover.

You're waiting for your soulmate

Image Source/ Freepik rawpixelYou want to be accepted for who you are and to establish an emotional, physical, and even spiritual connection with another person. You come to the realisation that you can just find anyone with whom to exist. But even so, you still desire the real thing, that authentic feeling, and you think it is possible.

The people you are dating are emotionally unavailable

Image Source/ Freepik vectorjuiceWhile it can be hard to sense someone's emotional instability upon your first meeting, you should be sure to look out for the signs. If you keep falling for people that aren't available, you'll find that most of your relationship endeavours end badly.

You've had a bad taste in partners

Image Source/ Freepik pch.vectorSome people really do have the worst taste... you know who you are. People sometimes fall love someone who is identical to their ex or completely unlike them (on the surface). People typically act out roles in relationships because that is where they feel most at home.

You have unresolved trauma

Image Source/ Youth DynamicsEveryone has baggage and that's a fact. But sometimes our upbringings can put a strain on our mental health, and can have rippling effects on us for the rest of our lives. Being exposed to trauma at such a young age can physically affect the brain, and make it harder for you to pursue relationships.

Your chosen lover isn't ready

Image Source/ Freepik jcompTo dance, you need a partner. Some people take a break from dating to focus on improving themselves and determining whether they are actually prepared to find love. But when they decide it's time to start dating once more, they become quite angry to see that the individuals they meet are still resolving their own problems.

You don't know what you want

Image Source/ Freepik PNGkeyIf you've not been in a relationship before, you might not know what you want, and it can be pretty daunting. You might be considering the things you want, whether sexually, personality wise, gender, looks, it's all very complex and only practice makes perfect.

You're chasing people that aren't interested

Image Source/ Freepik Creative FabricaEverybody loves a chase, especially if your respective prospect is acting like they're not interested. But the case changes when they actually aren't interested in you. If you keep going after people that aren't interested, the odds are that it won't end well for you.

You've had your heart broken

Image Source/ Freepik pch.vectorMany single people have this as a common theme. When you've been betrayed or abruptly dumped, it can feel safer to protect your heart from further pain. While being heartbroken is extremely painful, having faith that better things are on the horizon for you is a lot more positive view. It's wise to give yourself some space to recover after a difficult split.

You'll never settle

Image Source/ Tiny BuddhaSome would claim that you have unreasonable standards. However, it's good to be aware of your worth and value. You are aware that staying single is preferable to making concessions and settling merely because society dictates that you should be in a relationship. Don't let society pressures, your biological clock, or your age push you to lower your standards.

You're ignoring red flags

Image Source/ Metro UKThe signs of red flags have become more prominent over the past few years and people are starting to address and realise massive red flags, but not everyone. If you're the sort of person that sees someone's red flags and endeavours to change them, then you might just be setting yourself up for disappointment.

You're burnt out

Image Source/ The MidultWork and platonic relationships can really burn us out, so you might not feel like you're in a position to fully give yourself to someone else. However, if you're the sort of person that still wants to seek out a lover, then you will have to adapt, change and make sacrifices along the way.

You use your ex as a comparison

Image Source/ iStockMost of the time, you don't want to be taken advantage of, and that's okay. But as a result of this perspective, you make the decision to constantly contrast your date with your ex. The moment they exhibit traits of your ex, you run away. Try to be more vigilant.

You believe you are unworthy of intimacy

Image Source/ Adobe StockWhat's your self-image like? Do you tear yourself down? Do you truly believe that you're not attractive enough or smart enough to be loved and to be in an intimate relationship? It's hard to break the cycle, but try to remain aware that everybody is deserving of another's love.

You believe nobody can satisfy your intimate needs

Image Source/ PngtreeOn the opposite end to the above, you might believe that while you are deserving of intimacy, nobody can satisfy your needs for it. You might be anxious that they'll disappoint you, leave you, or reject you. It's natural to have these anxieties, but when they start to really impede on your happiness is when you need to reconsider.

You self-sabotage

Image Source/ NotSalmonMany of us are worried about getting hurt over and over again. When we open our hearts, we project the past into the present and believe that the result will be the same. Catastrophizing is the process of seeing a situation as worse than it actually is.

You end it too early

Image Source/ DepositphotosDon't be too haste when making such big, detrimental decisions in your life. Of course, you should always be selfish to an extent and make the right decisions for your mental health and wellbeing. But you might be keen to call things off over the most minor inconveniences, just be wary.

You've not taken care of yourself

Image Source/ CosmopolitanIn the words of Ru Paul, if you can't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else? If you've failed to take care of yourself, whether it be mentally, financially or hygienically, others might not be drawn to you as these instabilities can show themselves fairly quickly.

You like the single life

Image Source/ DribbleNot everyone on the earth is in search of a relationship. Some people are aware of the strength in a season of singleness.Before bringing another person into your life, you should work on yourself and make sure you are whole on all levels: emotionally, financially, spiritually, and mentally.

You're looking for love in the wrong places

Image Source/ ToonpoolI know we all hope for an ideal organic meeting... bumping into someone at the bar or club, striking up a conversation with them at the bus stop, or speaking to them in a café. But more often than not, life's not like that. While modern dating is hard, you should lay out you needs and expectations straight away.

You might not have met the right person

Image Source/ InleaThe "right" person is a strange phrase, because it insinuates they're perfect and there's only one, so you can take this one with a pinch of salt. You might be one of these people, and that is fine, but when you say the "right" person you need to make sure that you know exactly what you mean.

You're sick of dating

Image Source/ GraphicRiverSome folks have ploughed through the dating pool enough to feel hopeless by the end of it. After the bad experiences of awkward first dates, icks and major red flags, some people give up. These singles may become apathetic and stop caring about finding a partner altogether.

You simply don't want a relationship

Image Source/ The CommanderMaybe being alone makes you feel safer. Perhaps you were forced to rely on yourself as a child and learned to be independent; as an adult, this may be how you navigate the world. We acquire the skill of intimacy from our primary caretakers and if you were deprived as this, it might make you want to be single.

You're scared

Image Source/ Freepik pch.vectorBeing scared is the most prominent reason that people remain single. Giving yourself to someone in such a personal and intimate way can be intimidating and takes a lot of courage. If you feel like this could be you, try to reason with yourself... what is it you're actually afraid of?

You're Making A Conscious Decision To Be

Image Source / Catholic SinglesIt may not be that you necessarily want to be single, but just that you're actively choosing to be, and to stay that way. Somewhere along the line you've decided that you're choosing to be single and there's nothing anyone can do to change your mind. You're stuck in that mindset.

You're Saying No To Every Opportunity That Comes Along

Image Source / Liane DaveyYou might be acting on autopilot, saying 'no' to every offer of coffee, every date invite or even just a cute person saying hello. You may be programmed just to say no - either because you're so used to saying it, or it's a defence mechanism so you don't get too close to anybody.

You Keep Everyone At Arm's Length

Image Source / YouTubeWhether it's because you're scared of falling in love, scared of commitment or even just 100% done with other people, you're keeping people at a good, safe distance for whatever reason. Unfortunately, doing this all the time, with everyone, means nobody is able to get close to you - and vice versa.

You're Apathetic About It

Image Source / GoodTherapyA lot of the time, people who have got hurt so many times, or have so many failed relationships, develop a sort of numbness and apathy to it. You just don't care anymore. You don't really feel anything about dating or the idea of a partner because you're just... meh.

You Get Very Lost In Fantasy Worlds

Image Source / Fiction HorizonIf your biggest hobbies are watching epic fantasy movies, fantasy rom-coms or reading epic romances in fantasy non-stop, then you're going to get a sort of complex of how relationships and romances should be. If you're setting too much store by these fantasy whirlwind romances, it might make it difficult for you to accept what can often be seen as the mundane reality of dating.

You Feel Like You Found Your Perfect Match In A Movie, TV Show Or Book

Image Source / CaracTourWe all have epic crushes on people we love in shows, movies or books, but sometimes those crushes can be taken to extreme obsession and stop you from finding love in real life. If you honestly believe a character in a TV show, movie or book is exactly the type of person you're looking for, you might be comparing every single real life person to them.

You Have Communication Issues

Image Source / Marketing WorksIf you find it very hard to communicate, then you're going to struggle with successful dates or relationships. This may be a struggle to communicate exactly the kind of partner you're looking for or what you want, which can make dating hard work, or it could be communication issues in a relationship which are leading them to fail.

You've Started To Think About Your Sexuality

Image Source / Discover SocietyDating is hard enough for people who know their sexuality. But if you've started to think differently about your own, it might be completely daunting to go on a date with a gender you've never dated before, or frightening to think of all the opportunities out there for you to explore your sexuality. So you just don't.

You're Planning Some Big Life Changes

Image Source / Discovery ADR

If you're planning some big changes soon, then getting into a relationship might not be the right idea - which is why you're holding off. If you're planning to travel, relocate to a different area or even country, or maybe even explore a new career, then falling in love may have been put on the backburner so you don't have to compromise on your decisions.

You Don't Want Kids

Image Source / The New Yorker

There are of course many people out there who don't want kids. And when you don't either, it's important to find a partner who's on the same page. The trouble is, that most of the world these days seems to be wired to want kids or a family at some point, so dating can be very intimidating for someone who doesn't want kids and is scared to ask that on a first date!

You've Grown Up In A Household With Troubled Relationships

Image Source / FirstCry Parenting

If you've only ever seen the worst relationships have to offer, especially with your own parents if they had a relationship breakdown, it may have given you a certain negative viewpoint about having a partner, and may have even put you off wanting to live with anyone at all.

All Your Friends Are Single

Image Source / The Everygirl

It can make you feel a bit weird about wanting to be in a relationship if all your friends are single, especially if you have a huge group of friends. If you're all living your best single lives, you may feel guilty about settling down in a serious relationship or disrupting that young, free and single mentality (even though the right friends will support you no matter what!).

You're Scared For Your Safety

Image Source / Unsplash

This one's a bit grim, but it's an unfortunate truth. In today's world of dating, you really do have to be careful, because modern dating could mean someone catfishing you, or people you can't trust when you go out on dates. Even taking precautions like always staying in public places, it can be overwhelming and easier just to not go out.

Modern Dating Is Just Too Much About The Visual

Image Source / Tech Advisor

It's very difficult to make a connection in this day and age when everything has to be about looks first. Even if you're not a shallow person, the whole basis of modern dating is whether you like someone's picture or not as a starting point. And maybe you feel like you don't take a good picture yourself so you just can't be bothered.

You Don't Have Any Hobbies

Image Source / Toggl

If you don't have any hobbies whatsoever, and especially ones that would take you out of the house in group activities, it's very unlikely you're going to meet someone - and meet someone with the same interests at that. Hobbies help you to meet likeminded people as well as give you something to talk about on dates!

You're A Hermit

Image Source / Chris Bailey

Even if you're an absolute whizz with modern dating apps from the comfort of your sofa, you still need to go out on dates. So if you're just never going out, you're never going to meet someone or make it likely to bump into someone for your epic love story to begin.