Dating Sucks, But These Stories Are Ridiculous…

By Lou 2 years ago

1. Twist Ending

I went on a blind date with a girl- I was nervous at first as you’d imagine so I thought I’d keep it simple with a movie. It was all going smoothly- the movie was good and the company was even better. But, we then made our way to the parking lot and that’s when things took a turn.

After finally finding the car, we were pulling out of the parking lot and then it happened. My date saw her Dad leaving the same movie, with… a woman who she definitely didn’t recognise as her Mom. So, you can imagine the kind of ending that was to our perfect date…

2. Stay Hydrated

In my freshman year of college, this guy asked to take me to Wendy’s. We got there, and straight away I regretted my decision. He had the most monotone voice I’ve ever come across- he could make any story sound boring. I was sipping my water as he was story telling and one gulp went down the wrong way. With it being a first date, I tried to keep my cool and hold it in, but I couldn’t in the end.

The whole restaurant’s eyes were on me, apart from my date’s. His story was carrying on!! When I finally came back from what felt like the verge of death, I said sorry for my little episode. He just replied ‘Oh, I was wondering what was up’. It’s safe to say, we didn’t have a second date…

3. True Blind Date

I was on a blind date once, so I didn’t know what to expect of course. I was sat at the table waiting, and happened to look up as she was walking in the door. The first thing that struck me was the Niqab she was wearing, which of course wouldn’t phase me usually - but the thing was, she wasn’t a Muslim.

I politely asked her why she chose to wear one, to which she said because she wanted us to have conversation without me ‘knowing what she looked like’. I mean, I get it- but also, part of a date is figuring out if you fancy them, surely? Turns out, I didn’t like her personality- so it did the trick anyway.

4. For Your Eyes Only

This guy seemed like a breathe of fresh air at first- really sweet. He took me to a really nice dinner, a very romantic and intimate setting. The food was amazing, the whole vibe was amazing- but, after the main course I was completely put off. Not by the food, by him.

He randomly whipped his phone out and showed me pics of his, let’s say, intimate area. I was MORTIFIED. He didn’t just show me one, he showed me a RANGE- in different light, locations, angles- the full works. Obviously I wanted to run a mile, but I actually got a lift with him to the restaurant, so had to grin and bear it til’ I got home. Then, I blocked him…

5. The Talking Cure

I went to Circuit City to pick up a few things my new date needed for his computer- he was a bit of a nerd. He drove us there, and while on the way there a techno song played on the radio. I made a comment about how annoying I found it, to which he just turned it up and said he liked it. I laughed and replied “Well, I’m not talking to you until it finishes then”. Obviously a joke, but he didn’t take it as one.

We got out the car, and he started marching in front of me. So we go in to the store, and after a bit I realised he was nowhere to be seen? It was busy, so I just thought he was browsing around. It was 7PM at this point. It got to 8PM, and still- no sign. I was pacing EVERYWHERE in the store, he literally wasn’t there. I stayed in there til’ the store closed at 9, and walk out to the car, and he was there sat in his car!! He just said “Now you know how it feels when the lines of communication have been cut.” What a strange man. I never saw him again.

6. Mary's Not Here, Man

I got to my date 20 minutes early- I like to be on time for these things. They’re already stressful enough! So I was stood at the meeting spot waiting for the woman in question- Mary. The minutes kept passing, getting closer and closer to the meeting time. Still, no sign of her or a message or anything.

Then, this woman walked by, I shouted “Are you Mary?” She just looked at me completely baffled, she didn’t even need to answer for me to realise she certainly wasn’t Mary. She just looked me up and down, “No, I’m not.” I waited for another 20 minutes, before facing the fact Mary was never turning up. She's still never replied...

7. Paging Dr. Freud

My last date was a strange one. He just talked about his Mom all the time, like literally all the time. There’s a Mommy’s boy, then there’s him. I knew everything about this woman I’d never met- her favourite movies, foods, how she makes her famous casserole. Everything. I even suggested he date his Mom, given he was paying her more attention than he ever did me. He did actually look at me like he was contemplating it…

Of course I looked back at him slightly concerned at the thought he’s even considering dating his own Mom? But he started yelling that anyone who is had the woman his Mom is, should ‘get down on their knees and thank God for their blessing’. I never saw him again- I wasn’t doing such a thing. Two years later and he’s dating his Dad’s high school sweetheart….

8. Shaken, Or Crushed?

I was talking to this guy who lived six hours away. I should have known it was a red flag from the start, I never was the long-distance type. Anyway, I decided to give it a go and do the 6 hour drive to meet him. He seemed everything I wanted online, so thought I should give it a shot.

Anyway, we went to see a movie together when I got there, that was quite boring to be honest- not much to report. However, it all took a turn when we got back to his car and he told me to ‘crush his junk’. You can imagine my face…

9. Fossil- Like Opinions

I went on a date with a chick who basically, didn’t believe in fossils- despite millions of them having been discovered. We were on the topic of favourite books, to which I replied ‘Jurassic Park’. She literally gagged at my response, and went on to express that she didn’t ‘believe in dinosaurs’. So then I reminded her of fossils, questioning how she couldn’t believe in dinosaurs because of them.

Her next reply blew my mind; “I don’t want to get into it, but I think fossils are BS.” I didn’t even have the energy to argue, so just left it. That was until she later admitted she didn’t ‘believe in outer space’. That’s when I cut the date short…

10. Mission Failed

I felt really sick before a blind date once, but I didn’t want to let her down so last minute, so decided to go. We met at a beer bar, and first impression were great! She was pretty, funny and I could tell she was into me. All was going well, until I felt myself needing to let some gas out.

I could feel the pain taking over me, so leant forward slightly to try and discretely relieve the pressure. Next minute, I had accidentally pooped my pants- I let too much pressure out. The worst part- IT STUNK. I felt my face burn up and quickly excused myself to the bathroom. I didn’t even bother cleaning myself up, I went STRAIGHT for the train. Turns out I had a severe case of E-coli.

11. Chuck Palahniuk, Eat Your Heart Out

Me and this girl were in a hot tub, and it was going really well. But, out of nowhere she just said “I want to let you in on something I haven’t told anyone.” So, I took a deep breath and said go for it…

She inhaled and said “When I was six years old, my best friend and I were having fun in a hot tub. We were doing handstands just being kids. Well, she got her hair stuck in the bottom vent and drowned. I tried to pull her out but I was too young and weak. So, I ran to get my parents. They couldn’t get her out… But the paramedics got her free by cutting off some of her hair.”

I didn’t know what to say so just said sorry that happened and asked if she wanted to get out. She didn’t and a few minutes later we made out. Maybe it brought us closer together…

12. Pics First

I was set up with one of my friends girlfriends in high school- mainly because she didn’t have a date to prom. My friend has different taste in girls to me, but I decided to give it a go anyway. I was going in blind- didn’t know anything about her until she night we met..

Turns our she was physically unattractive and also had a boring personality. I had to still go for dinner and to prom with her, but I couldn’t wait to get home. Me and my friend have agreed if we’re matchmaking for each other, we need to at least have a picture.

13. Surprise

I went on a date with my roommate’s girlfriend’s roommate. Confusing. It was actually a double date to a Mexican. It didn’t start off well, as we saw my date’s ex drive by- they had also recently broke up with her assuring her ex the dinner was just a friends thing.

It wasn’t until I paid for the meal she realised it was a date. It was a little awkward to say the least, but now here we are 8 years later playing with our 3 year old daughter in our living room. I'm so glad we went on that 'date'...

14. Running Away To Narnia

My parents set up a date for me with one of their friends’ daughters. I wasn’t really sure at first, or looking forward to it. She didn’t live far though and from pictures she seemed to be a nice chick. I picked her up from her parents’ and was shocked by how much better looking she was in person.

We went for dinner and a movie, and all was going well so I thought I’d make a move. I slipped my hand around her waist and she pushed me away “I’m really sorry, because you seem like a nice guy, but…I’m a lesbian. I just went out with you to make my parents happy.”

You can picture my face…

15. The Cherry On Top

When I was 16, I was set up on a blind date. He took me to the movies and obviously sat us on the back row so he could make a move. I pulled away as I wasn’t feeling it. Then we went for food and he asked my opinion of him. I just said “You seem nice”- I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

However, he started telling me his thoughts of me- without invitation! He basically said, I’d be really hot IF I lose a few pounds! I think that’s where my body confidence issues were born….

16. Stranger Than Fiction

So, I headed to dinner then a movie with this really nice girl. It was going well at first, but as the date went on she got more and more agitated until she left the table. I thought she was going to the bathroom, but didn’t come back. I went out to her car and found her screaming that we’d all been making fun of her- including the people in the movie.

I finally calmed her down and drove back- where it all came out. She was bipolar and had stopped taking her meds. She seemed a nice girl but I don’t think I could have handled her…

17. This Was A Test, You Failed...

Here’s a weird one for you: my date gave me an IQ test on our date. So, I just went along with it and did the test, did I really have another option?

Turns out I got a good score, but because of that he said he wasn’t able to date me because I’m too smart for him. That was something I’d never been told before, but it’s better than being told I was too ugly I suppose?

18. Second Impression

I went on a date with a guy who gave me a report of myself in the car on the way back. He said one of my negatives was ‘I took too small of bites’- so apparently, I was too well mannered for him? One of my positives was it seemed like I liked to be in the kitchen. Typical man.

He called me after the date and said he’d read my blog and facebook page- and then decided I was actually cooler than he thought on the date so asked to see me again. Safe to say, there was no second date…

19. Up In The Smoke

I picked my date up from her house and headed to the park. She’d brought some sandwiches with her that she’d made herself- I thought this was sweet. She was SO nervous though, so much so she smokes through an entire pack of cigs.

The date went okay apart from the chain smoking. I was taking her home and she made me stop at the store for, wait for it… more cigs. She was too much for me…

20. All Does Is Wine, Wine, Wine

I met this girl online and spoke on and off for a few weeks. One night out of the blue, she just messaged me to ask if she could come over for a bottle of wine. I just said sure, I wasn’t busy to be honest. She turned up not long after with a half opened bottle of wine, which she finished off within ten mins of sitting down.

I opened another bottle, and she finished that in another half an hour. Needless to say, she passed out in my bed, waking up occasionally trying to kiss me. To top it off, she also peed in my bed. She made a quick escape the next day…

21. No Match

When I was around 13 an older friend of mine asked if I wanted to go to the shop with him, so I did. He said he was meeting up with a girl as we were walking there, so asked me if I minded talking to her sister to keep her entertained (and so I wouldn’t bother him). Turns out her sister was in a wheelchair, severely handicapped…

I did try and get a conversation out of her, but I wasn’t getting much back. My friend well and truly set me up, but turns out he's still with that girl now so all's well that ends well...

22. Magic Man

After a serious breakup, I met him on OkCupid, and we talked for like two weeks. He had a cello and seemed pretty smart to me. I'm already freaked out at this point and ready to leave. We decided to meet at Starbucks, and the conversation was fine until he started doing an impression of the Joker.

I told him that I hadn't drunk my coffee yet, and he said it was still hot. At that point he told me that he was getting into the elements, and slowly developing his ability to control fire. Having control over the heat and fire around us, he apologized for the coffee. I was intrigued at how ridiculous this was and let him continue.

23. Nerve- Wracking

My date was with a guy I met on the internet. We decided to grab a coffee, walk around town, and if that all went well, we would see a movie. When we met up at the coffee shop, he slowly turned bright red and began to sweat profusely. I was up for the adventure, even though it was winter in Chicago, and about 15 or 20 degrees out.

The guy was clearly nervous and I hoped the walk would calm him down. As we walked, he fluctuated between being somewhat comfortable to being uncomfortable looking, but none of it was enough for me to notice. Nerves calm, huh? We decided to go to the movie after our walk. He could relax and we wouldn't have to talk.

As we stood in line, he said, "I can't do this... I can't do this, I'm sorry," and ran away. He literally pulled his butt away from me. Then I got an email from him saying I was prettier in person than he'd imagined, and so nice, that he was just overwhelmed and couldn't handle it. That didn't make me feel any better.

24. If I Could Turn Back Time

About a year ago, I went on my first date. Although I have a flexible schedule, we met for lunch on a workday. After arriving 30 minutes late, she parked three blocks away, even though the parking lot was empty. Her walk to the restaurant took another 15 minutes, which I found a bit annoying. After lunch, she explained why she was late for the date.

She just had to stop at Target and Starbucks. Although we had a good time, after two hours I told her I had to get back to work. She told me where she parked. I offered to drive her to her car, but she declined. An hour later, she texted me. That message shocked me.

I was told that it was rude of me not to walk her to her car. We did not go on a second date.

25. A Weird Feeling

I went on a date with a recent college graduate in his mid-20s the summer after I graduated from high school. I was picked up from the suburbs and driven to the train station, where we took the train to Philadelphia. My longest relationship at that point had lasted two weeks, so I thought someone that was 24/25 was a bit out of my league. We wandered around Center City for a bit, but I immediately realized that someone that young wasn't my type of person.

In a bookstore, he tried to lose me. It was before smartphones, so I could not find my way home. I couldn't be stuck in Philadelphia, I didn't know how to get home, and it was night. Although I knew what was going through his head, I followed him so he couldn't shake me. At the very least, he could have driven me home.

As we walked back to the subway, he started rattling off great gems, such as, "Photography is a lie...and I...am the liar." He also said, "I like to sit at the front of the trains so I can see the tracks." A little kid sat in the seat once, and I shoved him aside.

26. Just a Couple Drinks

I met a girl online. Her coworkers and she went to a local bar for happy hour. Once I arrived, I realized that she must have started competition eating between the time the pictures were taken and the time I met her. It was awkward, but I didn't care too much, and her coworker was hot (think Uma Thurman from Pulp Fiction), so I was down for it.

My "date" starts slamming drinks as soon as we sit down. She has become the loudest and most belligerent drunk person in the bar within 45 minutes. We are surrounded. After some time, I politely excuse myself and say I'm going home. "What is happening," I think, and just walk out the door. She starts yelling at me, calling me a wimp, etc.

Yelled after me, she followed me. Then she texts me later to say she went home with one of the guys at the bar, and that I don't know what I'm missing. It was great! Then I stopped using OkCupid.

27. Sore Loser

I was in my late 20s and teaching SAT test prep when this guy asked me what my SAT score was. Then, he spent the rest of our dinner trying to beat me at some scholarly endeavor from high school or college. Were you an AP student? Definitely. Did you take calculus? Sure. Where did you go to college? Me.

Aaah, but he took some programming courses, and those are tough. I've taken programming courses, too. It went on for days. He wouldn't let up. When I was a woman, I normally would play down my accomplishments because bragging is bad manners, but that night I was rude about being brilliant to him. After that, he wondered why I didn't want to go back to his house...

28. Crash And Burn

I went out on a first date with a guy I'd been talking to for a while. After we finally met, we walked around the local zoo and then got drinks. It was a good time, though he brought up his ex-fiancée sometimes. Normally I don't care, but eventually it raised red flags for me. I should have listened to them.

We decided to order another round of drinks at some point. Nothing to worry about. Then, boom. He was slurring a bit, repeating himself, and spacing out. I hate being around people like that when I don't know them, so I thought maybe I was just being too harsh. After almost finishing his drink, he stood up at the bar and screamed about how his ex just bought a car.

He yelled that she should be with HIM. He talked about how his sister always told him he wouldn't find love because he was so hung up on the ex. When I went to the bathroom, he paid for the bill. After he left, I ordered another drink for myself. I didn't know what to do.

29. Dating Dr. Atkins

A few years ago, I went on a really bad date. I was taken to a restaurant and he decided to order for me. As I had never eaten Indian cuisine before, I thought that maybe he was just trying to show me a good dish. The waiter brought some rice and naan along with the meal. In reaching for the naan, he pulled the basket back and said something so rude I will never forget it.

I told him I was done eating and asked for the check. He replied, "Oh no, you already have enough carbs." I told him I wasn't hungry anymore. After we left, he tried to hug me, but I refused. I immediately got into my car. Within an hour, he sent me 20 Snapchat messages and called me five times. Even though I was annoyed by the whole situation, at least I got my revenge.

When I told my friend about it, she filled his phone with pictures of bread. It's a good thing I'm not dating anymore.

30. Mamma Mia!

A guy I met online. Not as old as I would have liked, but I didn't mind. Hey, it's just coffee, if anything goes wrong I can always bail out. He was a guide when I got there. An older guido. His fake tan made him look like a leather-wrapped mummy. He wore obnoxious bling, had his shirt open to showcase his chest hair, the works.

It would be rude to stand him up, so I gave him a chance. It turned out that the guy had a child he had never mentioned to me before. He kept buying me coffee drinks. It never occurred to him to slip anything into those. Even though he said he was employed full time, he talked about how he was retired and how he wanted ten more children. Um, nope.

I started hedging out of there, claiming that I had to meet a friend somewhere else. Just to get out of there, I was about to claim my cat was on fire. He then grabbed my arm and tried to convince me to go home with him. As he let go in pain, I apologized and dropped his arm fairly hard on the table.

I had never met a creepier person. Since I gave him a Google number, and not my real one, I just disabled that number, and he never got in touch with me again.

31. The Pre-Screening

All of this happened before the first date. The guy kept asking me unnecessary, almost invasive questions about my dating history but wouldn't answer the same questions when I asked them back. The passive-aggressive response I gave was, "I do not go on multiple dates just to keep my options open", as if he wanted to clarify that I also do not do that.

I began giving vague answers as soon as I realized the questioning was going to be one-sided. Due to this, he commented that I seemed disinterested in him. At some point, he began to talk about how he wanted a long-term relationship. After a while, he blocked me, but I was wasting too much mental energy worrying about it.

The next morning, he unblocked me. Immediately, I blocked him back. We hadn't discussed anything else. At that point, I couldn't imagine what a first date would be like with the level of mind games we were playing.

32. Drinking and Diving

Once, I met up with a girl I had spoken to online. On a Friday night around 6 PM, we went to a bar in Philadelphia. We had a lot of fun and drank a lot, but I noticed she pacing her drinks much faster than I did. She drank seven martinis in the time it took me to drink four beers. Each martini cost $15.

As we are getting along well, she tells me that she needs to use the restroom. She took her jacket and purse to the restroom for some reason. At the time, I didn't think much of it. But after an hour of waiting at the bar alone, I realized she wasn't returning and that I had just become accustomed to the heavy pregame.

Eventually, the bartender realized what had happened. He shrugged and said, "Stuff happens, mate.". I took two drinks off your tab.”

33. Maybe She’s Just a Workaholic?

Once, I met a girl from a dating site at her workplace on a whim. She asked me to stop by and hang out with her for a while since there was no one else in the entire place. After a few hours of talking, I thought we were really hitting it off. Then, things took a strange turn.

I was talking to her when another dude showed up to meet her. I think he's from Tinder. She accidentally double booked herself with two guys to keep her entertained at work. As if that weren't bad enough, she later blogged about the experience and described me as "dull and unattractive."

34. Do You Like-Like Me?

I met a woman who really hit it off with me. In just hanging out several times a week as friends, there was no physical affection for maybe six months. On one occasion, I spent the night with him. After that, we still hung out often, spent the night every time, and acted as a couple-going out with friends, going on dates, etc. I had things in her house.

I discovered that on the 2-3 nights each week we weren't together, she was hooking up with randoms on Tinder. It seems that even in your 40s, you should have that “so, are you my girlfriend?” conversation that you had to have in 6th grade.

35. Sacrifice of the Night

A girl I met was aspiring to be a model. I was very excited to meet her. She invited me over for dinner and a movie on our first date. As we sat down to watch the movie, she told me she could see the colors in my aura. I've only known her for 45 minutes, and she says that her aura matches mine and that we will be getting married soon.

I'm 24 and I'm freaking out. I stayed because she was really hot and I was 24. After a while, she invites me to look at her room and I notice this table with all these candles and strange things on it. In response, she tells me she is a witch who casts spells. Then she started telling me how she is a virgin and she wants to make sacrifices.

Weird. After she left, I went out the back door and jumped over the fence to my car and drove as fast as I could. Thank God the date wasn’t at my place.

36. Shut The Front Door

When I reach for the door, he tackles me and shoves me aside so he can...open it for me. Upon realizing it was an accident, I laughed it off by saying how hard it must be for guys to follow all those rules of gentlemanly behavior, and how easy it is for me since there are fewer rules to follow.

It is as if he has a devilish look in his eyes as he says, "Women are supposed to perform certain 'services' for men." Oh my God.

37. Leave Them Wanting More

After exchanging emails with a guy on a dating site for a while, I agreed to meet him for drinks. This should have been a red flag. He claimed to be an intelligent, well-educated, and good-looking guy... but he posted a deceptive photo of himself. It was hard to recognize him. Nevertheless, he was just getting started.

The man refused to tell me where he worked or his last name, explaining his phone number isn't listed due to his profession. He then proceeded to go through all of the photos on my phone when I tried to show him one. Chugged the most expensive drink I could find, I got out of there as fast as I could.

38. About As Deep As A Puddle

While in high school, I had a prom date that irked me. My friends set us up. Before prom, we went to Starbucks to get to know each other. It was just a formality for him to ask me about myself. Nothing more. Stuff like: “So what do you like to do?” I’d reply, “Oh I do a lot of theater,” and all he would have to say back in “Cool, anyway…”

He showed no interest in learning more about me or my interests. I ended up going out with him a few more times after the prom. As an 18-year-old, I was desperate, and he was hot-what can I say? Yes, it worked...until I realized I couldn't take it anymore.

39. Back To The Pond

Over a decade ago, I met a girl on Plenty of Fish. When we spoke on the phone for the first time, she was drunk and calling me from her ex's house. Her complaints about him and the fact that he talked to other girls went on and on. Somehow, I missed this.

I regret it. The next day, we agreed to go for a drink, but when I told her I would be running late getting home from work, she told me to just delete her number. "I get it, Miss Cleo," I replied.

40. Dinner & a Show

I drove 40 minutes for a date with a woman who didn't have a car, but she was really nice. For the first 10 minutes, everything was fine, until her ex showed up at the bar and joined us.

As they fought in front of me for 40 minutes, I was just really hungry and enjoying my dinner while watching. The date ended up being a sham, as she cheated on him. Great guy.

41. A Strong Push Out of the Closet

My date was a woman I met at a karaoke bar. We met for tea, which was really awkward because I didn't know what kind of tea to order on a date, so I ordered chamomile to calm my nerves. There was a lot of talking going on. She tells us about her cats, a mean co-worker, and the toothpaste she prefers. What she said next blew my mind.

Eventually, she told me that she had a tattoo above her posterior of an arrow pointing downwards and the words "EXIT ONLY." I blinked, asked her why she would get a tattoo like that, and took a small step toward accepting my own gender preferences. Two years later, I came out as gay.

42. Doo-doo Dude

My sister's friend met this guy on Tinder and went to dinner with him. She really hit it off with him, and he invited her back to his place. So she went with him, and when things were getting hot, she began to get this awful feeling. When she went to the bathroom, she literally had explosive diarrhea and messed all over herself, the whole nine yards. She was completely mortified.

He told her to get a shower and change into some of his clothes and not to worry about anything and that he would clean up and take away her dirty clothes. As she emerged from the bathroom, she saw a truly horrifying sight. His clothes were covered in poop and he was covered in the poop. He ran out of the house in just a towel.

On the dinner date, when she went to the toilet, he spiked her drink with something so that she would intentionally poop.

43. Footing the Bill

I've mentioned this before. When I was on a date with a guy, we got a speeding ticket as we drove to dinner. I paid for the ticket, since I was distracting him, and he then took me to dinner, where he made me foot the bill.

Then he took me to a night club, where he told me about other girls he had brought there. My next step was to make him take me home and tell him to forget my number.

44. Some People Have a Type: Insane

Once, a girl threw up in her purse after eating something from my dish that she was allergic to. I then spotted an ex of mine in the same restaurant, who was, at that time, the queen of crazy ex-girlfriends. Suddenly, she tried to kiss me. But this doesn't end there. She then throws her purse full of puke at my ex.

I narrowly avoided all of it. She threw breadsticks and salad at us. They started fighting. My server was waiting for me in the kitchen. I handed her a $50, told her to keep the change, and left. That is the story of the Puke Purse and Olive Garden. Also known as: Why I won't go to Olive Garden again in Indiana.

45. Stamp Of Disapproval

I went on my first date with someone I met online years ago. At a bar, the bartender swiped our cards. It was sting season in the area, and he was carding everyone even though we were both older. I handed mine over right away, but my date was a real jerk about it. I was handed mine back by the bartender.

Next, he checked my date's ID, and instead of handing it back to him, he placed it right in front of me on the bar. My blood ran cold. In my state, we have a sex offender stamp on it. He picked it up, looked at the bartender, looked at me, and left. I Googled him immediately.

In prison and on the registry, he had been. He learned his lesson. Google it all. And the bartender? We're friends still.

46. We’re Going Where??

I met a girl at the local McDonald's when I was 15, and we really hit it off. She was pretty and loved food as much as me, so I decided to swap numbers with her. She didn't wait around, and messaged me as soon as I got home..

She then asked me out the next day. When she told me I should dress up, I expected something special. It turns out, she was inviting me to her Grandmother's funeral. No wonder I had to dress up.

47. The First Cut Is The Deepest

I was on my first date. Although I wasn't the most talkative guy in school, I fancied her so I worked up the courage to ask one day, and to my surprise, she said yes so we head over to this restaurant in one of the classier areas of town.

We were making light conversation but within a few minutes, I notice that she's gone cold on me and she hasn't touched her steak. The steak is untouched while she picks off the veg and potatoes around the side.

She says she does eat meat, but: “I’m waiting for you to cut up my food for me!” As a 15-year-old, she had never eaten meat that wasn't first cut up for her by her parents or whoever else she was with at the time.

As surprised as I was, I taught her how to cut up her own food-seriously, it seemed that she'd never held a knife before-and then we dropped her off at her place in silence. I ended our first date by saying goodbye.

48. Eating Buddies

My coworker introduced me to a friend of hers after talking about how much we had in common. Finally, one day, I agreed to go out with her. We went to her favorite restaurant. My date was attractive, very smart, funny, and seemed interested in me. It was a good date.

One night, we begin texting to plan the next date, and she wants to go to the same restaurant again. When I asked if she would like to do anything else, she said, "As long as we can get out to eat first." Thought this was a bit weird, but okay. She asked if I could pick her up this time, since we had met there before.

"I don't think my boyfriend would like that." Wait...what? We had an awkward phone call. I asked her why she didn't tell me this information from the beginning, and she said she didn't feel it was a big deal.

49. Long Walk on a Beach

We were meant to meet at the pier in between our houses, but just before he text and said he couldn't make it. So, he said can we meet at the pizza place instead, I should have said no, but agreed anyway. When I get there, I see him standing outside and realize his profile pictures are at least 3-5 years old.

He looks like the dollar store version of himself: greasy, unshaven, hair undone, holes in his shirt. "Oh, no, we aren't getting pizza," he says as I awkwardly give him a side hug. "Let's go to the park."

He squeezed me and said "You're so innocent," before licking my face from chin to ear with a broad tongue. After being shell-shocked, I sat there for a moment taking it all in as he kept talking about weed before I decided to fake an urgent phone call and leave.

50. The Worst Kind Of Deja Vu

It was a year and a half ago that I was just getting out of a bad relationship that I had broken off. I am a driven individual and my work is what drives me. The relationship wasn't great, so I wasn't too upset about it. My friends planned to meet me somewhere and then not show up, so that I would find out it was a blind date.

This was done, and they called me when I was outside the sushi joint to let me know. I was angry at first but then I figured what the heck, why not go in and share a meal with a stranger? What could possibly go wrong?

I was shocked to find the girl I had just broken up with waiting for me.