How To Tell If It’s Love Or Lust

1. Daydreaming about them

(Image/ Source: stocksy.com)It’s true that you can do this if you’re in lust too. However, when you’re in love, you’ll be thinking beyond the erm, more physical aspects of your relationship. It might be the little things like a joke they told you, or something you’ve said you want to do together. If you’re daydreaming about their smile, or their laugh, you’ve definitely caught feelings!

2. Opening up

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Opening up tends to happen more if you really do care about someone. When you’re in love, you end up letting your guard down, and letting that special person in to get to know the real you. This doesn’t tend to happen as much when we’re in lusty situations, as you don’t get the same levels of trust and comfort.

3. Growing feelings

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Whether you’re in love or in lust, your feelings can grow as you spend more time with them. But the key difference is that these feelings can suddenly drop off a cliff if it’s a friends-with-benefits situation. Those in love find that their feelings are so strong that they can’t suddenly be turned off. In fact, many couples actually point out that their feelings of love grow even more over time.

4. Chatting

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This is one of the best tests for your relationship. If you’re in love with someone, spending time chatting garbage with your other half is the perfect pastime. But if you’re in lust, this definitely won’t be the case. You won’t really be spending time chatting and messing around together, as you’ll just be in the bedroom most of the time!

5. Planning a future

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For those in love, planning a future comes naturally. You’ll end up thinking about how you want to spend your time together- and whether you want to spend your entire lives together too! However, the lusty ones among you won’t be doing this, as the focus will be more on when you can next get your hands on your partner…

6. Accepting them

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A key part of loving someone is accepting every part of who they are- including their flaws. Nobody’s perfect, and we all have those annoying little habits that can turn someone off. If you’re in lust rather than love, these habits might be enough to put you off. But if you truly care about them, these habits won’t bother you all that much.

7. Give and take

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Love is always generous and kind. There is give and take, and opportunities to lean on each other when things get tough. But things are a lot different when it comes to lust. You won’t really have these emotional opportunities, as you’ll be much more focused on the physical aspects of your relationship.

8. Coming together

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If you’re in love or have a genuine romantic interest, you’ll feel like you’re coming together to be a solid team. They have your back, and you have theirs too. If it’s lust you’re feeling, you won’t see the need to think about how your actions might affect them because you are just responsible for you, and they are responsible for them.

9. Perspectives

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Seeing something from someone else’s perspective isn’t something that comes naturally to everyone. But if you’re in love, you’ll at least try to think about the other person and show empathy and compassion. If it’s a lust-type situation, this won’t happen, as it won’t compel you to put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

10. Happiness

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Love is about being happy- and making the other person happy too. And if one person isn’t happy, or experiencing a stressful or emotional situation, it will affect the other person in the relationship too. Those in lust are immune to this, as the situation really isn’t that deep. Lust situations are about pleasure, and that’s it!

11. Meeting those who are important to them

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If you’re in lust, the thought of meeting your sexual partner’s friends or family might be enough to send you into meltdown. But this is all part of the process of being in a loving relationship! Being in love with someone means getting to know the important people in their life, so make sure you’re prepared.

12. Arguments

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Let’s face it- arguments happen. But they can be the final straw for those in lust, as you don’t have any obligation to stick around and sort things out. Those in love will want to work through problems and toward resolution because they value having that person in their life, and may actually end up learning something along the way.

13. Patience with your feelings

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Sorry romantics- love at first sight is a myth. But you can certainly feel lust at first sight! At first, it might feel like the same thing- it feels like you’ve been hit with a lightning bolt, while fireworks are going off and your stomach is flipping over. But true love grows over time, while lust tends to fade away.

14. Brain changes

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When we’re in love and lust, our brains actually change. Recent studies have shown that when we’re in lust, desire is lit up by things we gain instant pleasure from, like food and sex. Meanwhile, love is linked to another area of the brain that’s involved in a conditioning process where we attach value to things.

15. Growing as a person

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Deep, meaningful love encourages you to grow as a person. It makes you want to become the best possible version of yourself, not just for you, but for your partner too. There’s no obligation to do this in a friends-with-benefits relationship, as you’re just looking after yourself and your sexual needs.

16. Attraction

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Every relationship needs attraction. But if you’re in love, your attraction will go deeper than just physical attraction. That’s not to say that physical attraction still isn’t important, but love will make you be attracted to their laugh, the things they say, and who they are as a person. Lust is just physical attraction only.

17. Affection

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Affection is really important for those in loving relationships. Little things like holding hands and kissing show that you care, and help build intimacy. But this isn’t really on the cards for those in lust. Affection is pretty much non-existent, as you’ll be too busy concentrating on getting busy with each other!

18. How you spend your time together

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A key way to tell if it’s lust or love is how you spend your time together. If your time is focused on partying and spending time doing the no pants dance, then guess what- you’re in lust. But if you’re spending time enjoying each other’s company and hanging out with each other’s friends and family, it's definitely love!

19. Insecurities

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When you’re in love, you don’t really keep your problems from your other half, and trust them with your secrets. You’re comfortable with telling them anything, without the fear of being judged. Being in lust, on the other hand, can mean you’re insecure about telling them your problems, because let’s face it- the trust between the two of you is superficial.

20. Knowing the real person

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When it comes to telling lust and love apart, you’ll be able to tell based on how well you know the other person. Being in lust makes you bare all physically, not emotionally. You don’t really know the other person that well, and opportunities to find out more about them are pretty thin on the ground. But when you’re in love, you’ll know your other half inside out.

21. How you communicate

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It’s not necessary to text or chat with each other every hour of the day, but it’s always great for the relationship when both of you communicate regularly. If you’re checking in with each other and asking how each other’s day is going, it’s a good sign for those in love. But if the only time you text or call each other is late at night, then it’s pretty clear that lust is the only thing keeping you both together.

22. How you think about them

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A good way to tell if it’s lust or love is how you think about your partner. Does the thought of your other half make you smile and feel happy? Or do you tend to think about how attractive they are? If you’re more bothered about their looks, or what you can get up to in the bedroom, then it’s pretty clear that you’re in lust!

22. Conversations

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If you’re in love, spending time having intimate conversations with your partner is pretty commonplace, as it helps build and maintain an emotional connection. This really isn’t the case for those in lusty, friends-with-benefits situations, as conversations really won’t be your main priority.

23. Sex

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Sex is important in a loving relationship, but it’s not the main goal. If you’re in love, sex will build your trust and intimacy, and won’t be the top agenda on your list. When your relationship is built on lust, your main motivation for sticking with that person is to have sex- and that’s the way you like it!

24. Commitment

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People in lust feel little to no commitment in their relationships, and things can tend to fizzle out pretty quickly- especially if you find someone else who catches your eye. Love, on the other hand, endures. Partners will feel completely committed to that special person in their life, and won’t drift away easily.

25. Compromise

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If you find yourself compromising your needs and wants now to make your partner happy now and then, chances are, you care about that person a lot. But if you’re more interested in what you can get out of the relationship, and don’t want to do something your partner wants to do, then it’s a definite sign of lust.

26. Respect

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This is a big one. If you simply don’t respect your partner, you’re not in love. Not one tiny bit. Those in loving relationships respect their other half, and value their opinion. If you’re not interested in the other person’s opinions or thoughts, or think they’re particularly important, your relationship is purely carnal.

27. Friendship

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You know how loving, long-lasting couples often refer to each other as “best friends”? Well, there’s a good reason for that. Friendship is a core part of a great relationship, and can help build one too! But those in lust tend to side-step all of this, as well as the dating stage, and head straight to the bedroom.

28. Seeing each other

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What do you both want to do when you see each other? Do you want to chat and catch up on each other’s lives, or do you want to party or jump straight into bed? If sex is all you can think about when you’re with your other half, and you have a hard time keeping your hands off them, you’ve got a VERY lusty situation in your hands…

29. Your memories

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Try and spend a few seconds thinking about the best memories you have with your partner. What are you doing together? It could be little things like sharing a joke, going on a day out, or time in bed. Basically, if these memories revolve around being naked, or anything naughty, you’re completely in lust.

30. Time

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Love takes time. So be patient. It’s easy to confuse lust and love at the beginning of a relationship, but as time passes, it’ll become clear how you truly feel. And both lust and love are ok. There’s nothing wrong with being in a lusty relationship, but just be prepared for it to fizzle out. Love lasts longer, and is a lot more rewarding!