30+ Signs You’re Intimidated By Other People

By Milli 2 years ago

1. You can't make eye contact with them

Image Source/ Alternative DailyYour body language can give a lot away. If you're intimidated by a person then you will probably find it quite hard to look them in the eyes. It's very noticeable when someone is trying not to meet your eye, so you might want to work on this if you don't want people to know that they're making you uncomfortable.

2. You turn away from them

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Do you angle your body away when having a conversation with someone? It's a physical way of shielding! You may not even think that you're intimidated, but your body language will give you away. It also makes you look detached and un-interested, so be careful what message you're sending.

3. Your voice changes

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Sometimes your voice may change completely when you talk to someone who is intimidating to you. It's quite common for a voice to become audibly quieter or even more high pitched when they are nervous, intimidated or even scared. Does this ever happen to you?

4. You fidget

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Another physical detail that might give you away... Fidgeting is generally an anxious habit, and suggests that the situation you are in makes you uncomfortable. It's all to do with an elevation in your stress hormones which can happen if you find yourself in an intimidating situation.

5. You stand further away from them

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As a general rule, if we are comfortable with someone then we will allow them further into our personal space. If you're uncomfortable then you won't want anyone invading your personal space. If you find yourself stepping further away from someone then it's a sign they are intimidating to you.

6. You don't think anyone is on your side

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If you don't think someone has your back then it's normal and understandable for you to be nervous around them. Your guard will be up. Although, some psychologists think that if you think someone is not on your side then it could be a sign you're intimidated by them.

7. You don't offer constructive feedback

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Criticism isn't always bad! A lot of the time it can be positive and constructive and genuinely helpful to the other person. If you're too scared to offer this to a person then you are probably worried about their reaction because you are intimidated by them.

8. You don't ask questions about anyone else's life

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It's common courtesy to ask people questions when you're having a conversation with them. It shows that you are engaged and interested in them. If no one is asking questions then the conversation will die out very quickly. If you're intimidated by the person you're talking to then you might avoid asking questions and prolonging the conversation any further.

9. You are quiet around other people

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Another sign of being intimidated is being quieter than normal when other people are around. Or at least, other people who you aren't that comfortable with. Some people literally become lost for words when they are around people they find intimidating.

10. You're paranoid about what other people think

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If it's someone you know well and you feel comfortable with, then you probably don't bother about what they think about you. Maybe your hair is a mess today, but what does it matter? If it's someone you find intimidating then you will find yourself constantly wondering what they think of you.

11. You immediately dislike someone

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Can you be judgemental? Do you meet someone and instantly dislike them? Have you ever wondered why this might be? When you take an immediate dislike to someone, it's generally more about you than it is about them. Maybe you feel intimidated by them...

12. You avoid certain people

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The easiest way to avoid being intimidated by someone is to simply avoid being around them. Although, it probably won't take long for them to get the hint if you are purposely excluding them, or maybe you're just ignoring them. Either way, sometimes you need to work on your own issues rather than punishing other people.

13. You can appear judgemental

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It's not always negative to 'check out' someone when you first meet them. Sometimes it's just out of curiosity. Although, if you're being instantly judgemental it's not very polite. You may be being judgemental if the person is making you feel threatened or intimidated.

14. You're always trying to find fault with people

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Not everyone reacts the same when they feel intimidated. Some will just withdraw within themselves, others may try to reassure themselves. One way of reassurance is to pick apart the other person. Whether it's just in your own head, or passive aggressively out loud, it's something you might want to work on.

15. You can be a bragger

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Bragging is usually coming from a place of insecurity. If you find someone intimidating or you feel threatened by them, you might be trying to over compensate by bragging about yourself. It's almost like self defence and it's also a sign of being jealous.

16. You can be defensive

Image Source/ Psychology Today
Talking about self defence, there is many different ways this may present. Normally, it's triggered when someone feels personally attacked and maybe you can become snappy or quickly annoyed. Sometimes, this is all in your head because you feel intimidated and not because someone is actually attacking you.

17. You try to one up people

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A very obvious projection of your own deep-rooted insecurities, and insecurities often stem from being intimidated by someone. You might be trying to pretend like you don't care, but your actions speak louder than this. Time to take a look at why you feel like this...

18. You conform to other's expectations

Image Source/ Psychology Today
The most intimidating people are generally those who are loud and confident in themselves. It's understandable why some people feel nervous around these types. What you don't want to do is let yourself become is a pushover. Don't agree and conform to their opinions just because you are worried how they might react.

19. You keep your opinions to yourself

Image Source/ Inc. Magazine
Are you scared or hesitant to disagree with a coworker? Maybe it's because you're worried how they will react or maybe you worry everyone will think you're stupid. Either way, it's a sign that you are intimidated by them. You probably think it's easier to just keep your opinions to yourself and tell them what they want to hear.

20. You're an introvert

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To any introvet, a person who's an extrovert and the opposite of them can be very intimidating. Not all extroverts are assertive and forceful though! Maybe you should give that person a chance rather than just retreating into your introverted self...

21. You're a pushover

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Pushovers are 'yes' people. If this sounds like you then you need to be asking yourself, why? Maybe you just do whatever your co workers ask of you, or maybe it's a parent or a partner. You might find if you look inside that you're actually intimidated by them and a lot of these other points sound like you too...

22. You can get very jealous

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Jealousy is generally a reflection of yourself and not the other person. Most of us have been taught that from a very young age, but it doesn't seem to stop people letting the green-eyed monster take over. There is always a reason why you feel jealous of someone though, and maybe it's because you're intimidated by them. Even if you don't want to admit it.

23. You cross your arms

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Crossing your arms across your body can be interpreted as a defensive posture. You might even do this without realising when you are in a conversation with someone who intimidates you. It can provide a sense of comfort to you when you feel threatened.

24. You avoid crowded places

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It may not be one person that you're intimidated by, it could be people in general. If that's the case, then crowded places are going to make you very uncomfortable. Maybe you've stopped going to that coffee shop on your lunch because it's busy and the staff make you nervous. This is a definite sign you're intimidated by people.

25. Your body is stiff

Image Source/ Inc. Magazine
If you feel scared, whether that's genuine fear or because you feel intimidated, your body may become stiff or rigid. You might be worried that any movement will trigger a reaction from the other person and the safest bet is to stay still. You might not even realise that you have frozen.

26. You don't push back on other people's ideas

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Any productive work situation will generally involve some discussion and even disagreements that eventually lead to a final idea. If you are intimidated by your coworkers then are you just sitting quietly in those meetings? Maybe not constructively criticising or giving your opinion. Although this might be a comfort to you, it won't go unnoticed for long in the work place.

27. You constantly compare yourself to others

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If you don't feel comfortable in yourself, then it's hard to feel comfortable around other people. You may find yourself constantly wishing you were more like someone else, whether that's because of the way they look or because of their personality. You probably also feel nervous around that person as you find their good looks and personality intimidating.

28. You agree with everything other people say

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Disagreeing with people can be difficult. Especially if you want to disagree with someone you find intimidating. So maybe you just say yes to everything to take the easy route. Telling people what you think they want to hear might avoid confrontation.

29. You over apologise

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Over apologising is a classic sign of feeling intimidated. Apologising three times in a panic for bumping in to someone you're nervous about at work is one example of this. Does that sound familiar? The other person will probably notice how nervous you look too.

30. You avoid small talk or conversation all together

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Maybe you are that intimidated by a person or the people around you that you just avoid conversation altogether. Or at least the small talk conversations that you can get by without. Humans need interaction! If this is you it's something you need to work on. As without even realising it, you probably come across as cold or even rude.

31. Your First Instinct Is To Say No To Social Occasions

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The idea of a large group of people being in one area and having to interact with them is a huge NOPE for you. You might just be introverted, too, but the idea of social occasions meaning lots of people can be very intimidating to you when you think about having to talk and get to know everyone.

32. You Dread Work Social Events

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If you're usually intimidated by people in general, the most intimidating kind of people are those you don't choose to have in your life but have around you anyway: colleagues. And that means work social events, like the Christmas party of 'team building' can be something you feel very overwhelmed by.

33. You Don't Like Group Projects

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Group projects not only mean working with other people, but the idea of having to put your own views forward. Giving your input for a group project can be difficult when you're intimidated by others and you might end up staying silent or not giving much during group projects.

34. You Speak Quietly

Image Source / New York Post
Usually when you're intimidated by people, you don't want to draw attention to yourself - because drawing attention means they'll look at you and/or expect you to speak. So if you absolutely have to speak, you probably speak quietly so that you're barely heard - or not at all. And that's probably fine with you.

35. You Won't Go Into Busy Places

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If you're walking towards a coffee shop and see the queue coming out of the door, or you pass a restaurant and see that most of the tables are full, it's likely you'll avoid going into them - even if it's what you really need. You avoid busy places at all costs, because busy means people, and they can be intimidating.

36. Making Enquiries - Especially Over The Phone - Is A No-Go

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The idea of having to enquire about something off your own back can be really intimidating if you struggle with communication and others. And especially if you have to make an enquiry over the phone - meaning you have to lead the conversation from the off - this can be a scary thought.

37. You Don't Ask People Questions About Themselves

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The idea of asking someone something about themselves means you might start panicking about them being offended, refusing to answer, or even turning the questions back on you - so with this in mind, your train of thought is usually 'why bother asking at all?'.

38. You Shy Away From Opinionated People

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Opinionated people can be the most intimidating, not only because they're usually talkative, but also because they'll be forceful in their beliefs if they're extremely opinionated. These kind of people can be your worst nightmare because it could turn into a challenging conversation.

39. Brutally Honest People Make You Uncomfortable

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Brutally honest people are more likely to result in confrontations during conversations, even if it's just in a playful or laid-back way. Brutally honest people can make you face up to things you don't want to face up to, or maybe just make you realise how scared you are about speaking your own truth.

40. You Try Your Best Never To Complain - Even If You Want To

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Complaining about something means drawing attention to yourself - and it also means running into confrontation. If you're intimidated by others, it means you might not have faith in your own ability to stand your ground when you're complaining about something, so it can be easier for you just to stay quiet.

41. You're Not Really Assertive

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Being assertive means that you sometimes have to speak up against other people and put your point across - so if you're not, it could be a sign you're too intimidated by others to do so, and especially if those other people are assertive, too. You might find it easier just to fall back.

42. You're Usually Steamrolled In A Conversation

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If you're not speaking loudly, not making eye-contact, drawing back physically and not being assertive enough, it could all result in you being steamrolled in a conversation. You may not be able to get a word in edgeways - even if you want to - and people might forget you're there at all.

43. You Prefer One-On-Ones To Big Group Conversations

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When other people make you feel intimidated, you might feel much more comfortable having a one-on-one conversation compared to group conversations, because it means you only have one person to focus on and one person to try and get your point across to. It also means less attention!

44. You Don't Have Many Goals

Image Source / Inc. Magazine
Setting goals can often mean that you have to have confidence in yourself, and make a decision about something you want to achieve. But common goals, like get a promotion, move home, start a hobby etc, all depend on being around other people, or maybe even being better than other people to achieve them. And if other people with the same goals as you are intimidating to you, it's unlikely you'll set too many goals.

45. Or, You Struggle To Reach Them

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If you did get as far as setting lots of goals, it may once again be that you're struggling to reach them simply because they involve other people. Dating means meeting new people, getting a promotion means being assertive and overtaking colleagues, and other goals may mean you have to interact more with people... all of which can be intimidating!

46. You're Not Very Good At Reading Others

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It takes a lot of attention to read another person - you need to make eye contact, listen to the way they speak and watch their body language. If you're intimidated by people, it's likely you won't want to look at them for too long, or overthinking things too much to pay too much attention to them. This can result in you not being able to read others very well.

47. You Don't Have A Lot Of Self-Confidence

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It can be intimidating to go up against someone who has huge confidence in themselves and gives off a very self-assured energy. This is even more difficult when you don't have a lot of confidence yourself. And when you don't, you can start doubting anything you choose to say, or the way you come across.

48. Any Drawbacks Discourage You

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It might not take much for you to feel like you shouldn't try at something - one fail, or even just difficulty achieving something, can mean you don't want to try anymore. Especially if it's because someone else has done better than you and you find them too intimidating to go up against again.

49. It's Rare You Take The Lead

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If you're in a group situation or have to make a group decision, whether in your friendship group, family, or at work, it's very rare that you are the decision maker and take the lead. You might usually stay quiet until someone else makes a decision for the group, and go along with it even if it's not what you want.

50. You're Not Really A Problem-Solver

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More assertive people who aren't intimidated by others are usually the first to try and come up against a problem and tackle it head on. Problem-solving can often mean taking initiative and taking the lead, and you might find this intimidating - especially if problem-solving means working with others.

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