Psychological Signs Your Parents Don’t Like You

They Don't Provide Emotional Or Physical Support

Image Source / RedditSupport comes in many different ways, but you'd expect your parents to show you at least one of them. If they never provide you with emotional support when you need it most, or they don't even hug you or give your shoulder a squeeze if they're not great with the 'emotions' side of things, it doesn't look like they care enough to bother.

They Compare Everything You Do To Their Own Standards

Image Source / RedditTrying to live up to your parents' impossible standards is, well... impossible. No matter what you do, they'll compare it to their own expectations or standards, even if what you've achieved is amazing and worthy of a pat on the back. And it might be that even if you do reach that standard, they still won't tell you they're proud of you.

They Manipulate You

Image Source / Meme CreatorPeople who love you and care about you will never manipulate you to get their way - period. So if your parents are manipulating you, it's not a good thing when they're supposed to care about you. They might manipulate you into their way of thinking, or even manipulate you into thinking differently about some aspect of your own life.

They Always Guilt-Trip You

Image Source / PinterestIn the same way that someone who loves you won't manipulate you, they'll definitely not try and make you feel guilty, either. Guilt-tripping can be a manipulation tactic in itself, and they might always try to make you feel guilty in order to get what they want, rather than thinking about your feelings, or how feeling guilty might affect you.

They Neglect You

Image Source / RedditThey might seriously neglect you in terms of your own wellbeing and living situation, or they may neglect your emotional, psychological or physical needs. They don't make sure that you're well cared for or comfortable in your environment. They might also neglect your educational needs, like not helping you with school problems or not supporting you in terms of further education.

They Criticize Your Appearance Or Personality

Image Source / RedditIt's one thing for a parent who loves you to have a go at you for a stupid choice you've made - that's natural - but it's another thing entirely if they start criticizing you for the way you look, or a key aspect of your personality that makes you you. Parent should love you no matter what, and they definitely shouldn't punch down your self-esteem!

They Make You Feel Unworthy - Of Anything

Image Source / Know Your MemeYou should never feel unworthy - and you especially shouldn't have your parents making you feel unworthy. But they may try every day to make you feel unworthy by their actions or by their hurtful words. They may wear you down so much that you start believing that you're not worthy (but you are!).

They Take You For Granted And Expect You To Drop Everything For Them

Image Source / Dictionary.comBeing there for someone and changing plans if a loved one needs you is a natural thing, but it can easily turn into taking someone for granted if you expect them to change their entire plans and drop everything the second you need them. Your parents may act as though you're on call for their every whim, and they take you completely for granted in terms of doing what they expect, when they expect it.

They Would Expect You To Sacrifice Your Own Happiness For Them

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You Never Feel Any Warmth Or Affection From Them

Image Source / Reddit

Some people aren't great at being overly lovey dovey, and parents can still love you even if they don't express their 'warm' emotions very well. But if you never get any hint of warmth or affection off them whatsoever, and they're only ever strangely cold and distant with you, it's a sign something else is going on - i.e.. they don't like you much.

You're An Inconvenience

Image Source / www.meme-arsenal.com It doesn't matter what you do or how important it is - it's an inconvenience. You have parents teacher meeting at school or college? It's an inconvenience. You need picking up because your car broke down? It's obviously a huge inconvenience. You need to stay at home for a few days because you're ill? Inconvenience!

Your Parents Hold You Responsible For Anything They're Feeling

Image Source / Make a meme.org If your parents have had a bad day at work, suddenly you're the problem and it's your fault they're feeling angry today. They hold you accountable for any bad mood they're in, or they outright blame you for anything that's gone wrong, or any problems they're going through. If they're unhappy, it's your fault.

They Never Take Your Limitations Into Account

Image Source / Wikipedia

In expecting you to do the impossible, they never, ever take any limitations into account. They're the type of people who would expect you to run a marathon with a broken leg and to stop complaining about it. They never think about what you might be comfortably capable of doing when they set all these expectations for you.

They Will Never Offer Input For Your Decision-Making

Image Source / ImgflipIt doesn't matter whether it's which university to go to, which car to buy or which shirt to wear, they won't offer a single piece of input to help you in your decision. Whether it's something they have vast experience in or not, they're not going to lift a finger to help you make a choice.There always needs to be boundaries for privacy when it comes to a parent and child, and especially if you're living under the same rules. If they don't respect your personal space or boundaries, it means they don't care about them. They could read your messages, enter your room without knocking or eavesdrop on your phone calls.The older you get, the more you might be realising that you've just never felt like a loved or valued member of your family, and you might be realising more of it in hindsight and with a more adult viewpoint. You can't remember a time when your parents said or did anything to make you feel appreciated.They don't want to make small talk about how you found the weather today, or how your day has gone. They don't want to know how you went on at school or work, they don't want to ask where you got that new coat from, or they pretend not to notice anything new or different about you on any particular day. They're not interesting in your daily goings-on.

They Never Remember When You Have A Job Interview

Image Source / Reddit

It's always great to have a quick 'Good luck!' text from a loved one on the day of an important job interview, and if you're out looking for a new job, it's always nice to have support from parents to wish you luck and then ask you how it went afterwards. But your parents might never even remember when you have a job interview, because they don't care to remember or to write it in their calendars.

They Talk Badly About You To Your New Partner Or New Friend

Image Source / Reddit

If you bring a new partner home to meet your parents, or maybe just a new friend invited over for dinner, they might talk badly about you directly to that person, either in front of you or when you're in the other room. They tell your new partner or friend about all the things wrong with you, all your flaws or some embarrassing story about something that happened to you in the past.

If You Do Spend Time Together, It's Interrupted - And They're Just Rude

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You might go out to dinner together only for them to spend the entire time on your phone. They might take a phone call in the middle of your meal and then tell you that they have to leave because something else came up. You may go out together and bump into someone they know so they spend the rest of the day ignoring you to talk to this other person instead.

They Try To Make Things As Difficult As Possible For You And Call It 'Tough Love'

Image Source / IdleMeme

They're the type of parents who would leave you stranded naked on an island to leave you to learn 'proper survival skills' because they want what's best for you. They might make every situation as difficult as possible - such as seeing you struggling with something and not stepping in to help - and then justify it by saying they're trying to toughen you up, or make you face the harsh realities of life.

They Could Help You Out Financially - But They Don't

Image Source / Simple Wikipedia A lot of kids and parents are in different circumstances - while some kids have a house deposit and new car all saved ready for them, others may not have parents as well off who can't provide for them in that way. It's all valid, but it's different when parents are rolling in it and you're in a very bad financial situation or struggling to buy a car you desperately need to get to work and they just sit by and do nothing. Not even a dollar to help.

They Don't Make You Feel Special

Image Source / RedditNot even on days like your birthday or special occasions do they ever make you feel special, loved or unique in any way. They don't ever want to make you the center of attention, even in the middle of your own birthday party (which they probably wouldn't throw for you anyway) and you can't remember a time they made you feel great.

You Don't Really Get Birthday Or Christmas Presents

Image Source / RedditNo matter what's going on the rest of the year, these two occasions are when you'd expect to be bought at least one gift from parents who love you (unless they're in really bad financial circumstances, of course!). But you never really get any presents for your birthday or for Christmas, and never really did. If you do, it might be something generic without much thought about what you'd like.

You Barely Even Get A Card With A Nice Message

Image Source / RedditOn both of these occasions, you might not even get a card. Not all people are card-sending people, especially at Christmas, but you'd expect at least one card for your birthday from parents - but nada. You haven't ever had a card with a nice message in it saying how proud they are, or just 'love mum/dad'.

They've Stopped Contacting You

Image Source / RedditIf you've moved out and you live in a different area - or even just a different house down the street - to your parents, they may not bother to contact you at all. They never text or ring for any updates and don't interact with you on social media. They wouldn't even voluntarily pop round to knock on your door.

They Don't Contact You If They Go Away For A Trip

Image Source / RedditWhen loved ones have gone away on vacation, it's only natural to 'check in' and send quick messages to say they've arrived okay, or even a couple of photos here and there to say how their trip is going. But you don't hear a single peep out of them when they're away for a trip - they don't bother to tell you when they're leaving or when they're back.

And They Don't Bother To Contact You When You Go Anywhere, Either

Image Source / RedditLoving parents will always send those texts like 'Have you got there safe?' 'Just checking you've arrived' or even just asking how your trip's going. It's natural for a parent to want that 'let me know when you get there safe' message for peace of mind. But yours might not even bother to ask, and wouldn't know unless you're the one to make the effort to tell them.

They're Always Dismissing Your Feelings

Image Source / iStockFor any kind of relationship, respecting the other person's feelings is extremely important. For a parent, it's even more important to understand the emotions of their children to better support them. Even if they can't offer a solution, simply listening and empathising is key. So if their first reaction to you bringing up anything about your feelings is just to move on to a new subject or dismiss them, it's a bad sign.

They're Dismissing Your Thoughts And Ideas

Image Source / Emoji GuideThe same goes for any thoughts or ideas you may have. If you make suggestions or share with them some ideas you're having, a supportive parent will be willing to listen, offer feedback or take your ideas on board. A parent who doesn't like you may automatically dismiss your ideas.

And They Might Belittle Them, Too

Image Source / Poju OyemadeHaving your thoughts and feelings dismissed is one thing, but it's another if they actually take the time to belittle or ridicule them. Instead of simply moving on, they might spend time breaking down your feelings or thoughts into why they're wrong and/or stupid (which of course they're not, but your parents might make you feel that way).

They Put Their Own Wants And Needs Before Yours

Image Source / Growing SelfPart of the job description of being a parent is to put your child's needs before your own - it's the ultimate act of not being selfish. But a parent who is never willing to put your needs before their own can be a sign of neglect, lack of empathy, selfishness and also the fact that they don't like you enough to put your needs first - because they don't want to.

They Constantly Put You Down

Image Source / PsychMechanicsIt doesn't matter what you do, they'll have something negative to say about it. You'll wear a new outfit, and they'll tell you it doesn't look very good. You'll make a suggestion for something, they'll tell you why it's wrong. You'll make a career switch or get into a new relationship, and they'll make you feel like you're not worthy of it.

They Make You Feel Like A Burden

Image Source / Success ConsciousnessAt the end of the day, you didn't ask to be born, but no matter what you do, apparently it's your fault. They may tell you outright that they wish they'd never had you, that they never planned to have children, or they may make hints about how they feel like, 'you're costing us a fortune', or 'we could move home if it wasn't for you'.

They Compare You To Other People

Image Source / CleverTapThis could be anybody, but it might specifically be the children of other people they know. They may be constantly singing the praises of other people, or complimenting them, and then comparing that feeling to how they feel about you, as though you're a disappointment.

Or, To Your Siblings

Image Source / Today's ParentThis one might be worse because it just shows the fact that it's not that they don't like all their children - it's just you, for whatever reason. They may constantly compare you to your siblings by making you feel as though you aren't as good as them, or they aren't as proud of you as they are of your brothers or sisters.

They Want Perfection, Or Nothing At All

Image Source / PsychologiesIf you bring home an A report card, it's not good enough because they want an A+. If you take home the silver trophy for something, it's a failure because they wanted a gold trophy. They want you to achieve the best, not because they want you to accomplish your goals, but simply because they want you to be perfect and are disappointed that you aren't (because nobody's perfect!).

They Don't Show Any Affection Towards You

Image Source / Flo HealthNot everybody is overly affectionate, and some parents simply might not show affection in the way of kisses and cuddles - and that doesn't necessarily mean they don't like you. But it all depends on who they are as a person - if they're usually overly affectionate with everyone around them, but never have been with you, it's a red flag.

They Never Include You In Important Decisions

Image Source / StylistEspecially if you still live at home, decisions your parents make about the living situation or about your life together should always include you. But they never include you. They make decisions without checking with you first, which could be anything from what you're doing at the weekend to relocating without asking you.

They Never Acknowledge Your Successes

Image Source / TateYou could be doing really well in many different areas - perfect school grades, winning on the sports team or even as an adult, getting a new job, getting a promotion or getting engaged. No matter what you do, you'll never get a 'well done' or 'congratulations' and anything you do right will just be skirted over.

But They Always Acknowledge Your Failures

Image Source / Scientific AmericanThey may not say much about when you do things right, but they'll be sure to let you know when you do something wrong. Every. Single. Time. It doesn't matter what it is - even if it's just dropping food on the floor in the kitchen - they'll make sure to let you know how much of a failure you are.

If You Don't Do What They Want, You're Lazy

Image Source / Greensprings SchoolIf they ask - or tell - you to do something, and you say no for your own reasons, you're suddenly lazy - there's no compromise. You either do what they want, or you're lazy. Even though you're not even remotely lazy, that's what they'll be sure to tell you, day in and day out, if you're not compliant with them.

They Gaslight You

Image Source / The Human Capital HubGaslighting you is a very upsetting manipulation technique that you see a lot of in controlling relationships. But this isn't exclusive to romantic relationships - parents can do it to their children, too. Parents might make you question your reality by constantly telling you that you're imagining things, or refusing to accept that their version of events is wrong.

You Get The Raw End Of The Deal With The Home Routine

Image Source / PinterestIf you still live at home, it's often a challenge to work around other people, which is why families have to communicate. But you may feel like you're always stuck with the raw end of the deal in your home. You could be the last to use the bathroom because nobody cares that you'll be late. You could never be allowed to watch TV in the living room because your parents say no, or they only let your siblings do it. You never get any sleep because nobody respects your routine - that type of thing.

Your Bedroom Reflects How Much They Care

Image Source / One KindesignThis depends entirely on their attitude towards it, because many of us had tiny bedrooms as kids without it meaning our parents didn't like us. But maybe they've made it clear that you're getting the tiniest room because your siblings deserve the bigger room; maybe they ignore you every time you say you don't have enough space. Maybe your furniture is falling apart and they don't listen when you say you have a broken mattress.

Whenever You Bring An Issue Up, You're 'Ungrateful'

Image Source / Parent CueA lot of parents like to use this word, because they think you owe them something for bringing you up - and anything else means you're ungrateful. Of course we have to love and respect our parents for everything they've done for us, but bringing up any negative issues such as 'my bedroom isn't big enough for me any more' doesn't mean you're ungrateful, it just means you want to talk about it - but they don't want to listen.

They Make You Feel Guilty For Asking For More Support

Image Source / HealthShotsIf you actually do open up to your parents honestly about needing more emotional support, or telling them you don't feel like you get what you need from them, their first (and probably only) reaction is going to make you feel bad for even saying that. Rather than acknowledge what you're saying, they'll just make you feel bad for saying it in the first place.

They Use Money To Control You

Image Source / WikipediaMoney is one thing that parents can help or hinder with when you're growing up. Of course, not everyone has access to rich parents who pay for everything, but this one doesn't matter about how much money - it matters more how they choose to use it against you. Do they have complete control over any money you make and make you ask for it? Do they threaten to take money away from you if you don't do what they say, or cut you off altogether financially?

They Make Promises They Never Keep

Image Source / IslamiCityDisappointment is just one thing you associate with your parents, because they always make promises only to let you down. They tell you they'll buy you something, you'll go on vacation, or just say yes to the simplest requests, only for them to fail to keep that promise. They string you along only to disappoint you.

They Always Cancel Plans At The Last Minute

Image Source / RedditSometimes this can't be helped, but if they're always, always doing it, it's just a sign they don't care about your needs and care more about what they're doing rather than how it might affect you. This is another form of letting you down, but it can be worse if you've made the time and effort to tailor your whole routine about the plans you made only for them to always cancel.

They Never Check In With How You're Doing

Image Source / Helene the IllustratorAnd this means actually checking in with you and taking the time to talk to you to make sure you're doing okay. An offhand 'how are you?' when they barely even listen to the reply doesn't really count. It's important for parents to check in with children if they really care about how they're doing mentally, physically and emotionally.

And They Don't Pay Attention To Signs Something's Wrong

Image Source / Georgetown PsychologySometimes you don't even need to ask how someone's doing to see that they're not doing okay. If you come home or meet up with your parents when you're showing visible signs of being upset, being in pain or just stressed about something and they choose to not even acknowledge it, they're obviously not taking the time to care.

They Never Built Up Your Self-Esteem Growing Up

Image Source / Metro UKHow parents raise you in terms of emotional support will have a huge effect on your self-esteem growing up. And if you don't have any self-confidence at all due to your upbringing, it could be because your parents didn't take the time to build you up or to acknowledge your accomplishments.

They're Not There For You In Times Of Crisis

Image Source / Vantage Circle BlogMost adults can say these days that they've moved back in with their parents after a breakup, or moved back in with parents to save money for their own home - or, just depended on their parents for shelter and money during times of emergencies. But if their first reaction to you asking for this kind of help is 'well it'd be a burden' or 'I don't really think that's possible', they're obviously not interested in helping you out.

They're Not Interested In Your Friends - Or They Don't Even Know Who Your Friends Are

Image Source / FreepikParents taking an interest in their child's life will at least know who their best friend is, and probably will have met them at some point if they're always in your life or if you're always hanging around them. Some parents will normally ask how your friends are doing, too. So if they don't even know who you hang around with, and don't care enough to ask, it's a sign.

They've Never Shared Any Good Life Advice

Image Source / MediumOur parents should teach us about those big life decisions where we could benefit from their advice - such as jobs, relationships, money or just life experience. Sharing these experiences with children growing up is valuable for them making the right decisions. So if you've never received a single piece of life advice from them, it could be a sign they're not supporting you in the right way for your life choices and future.

They've Never Said They Love You

Image Source / TimePeople show their emotions in different ways, and some parents just aren't the type to say 'I love you' after every conversation or text. But if they've never, ever said it - not even during big occasions like your hugest life accomplishments, it could be a sign that something else is going on in their mind where they just can't bring themselves to say it or acknowledge it.

And They've Never Once Said They're Proud Of You

Image Source / Family LoveToKnowThis is one thing every single child needs to hear from their parents at least once. Every child is hardwired to want to make their parents proud in some way or another, and it doesn't matter what age you are, hearing 'I'm proud of you' always means something from a parent. So if they've never said it to you, it could be a sign that you just don't measure up to their expectations (in their eyes).