Dangerous Signs Someone Has A Lack Of Willpower
By Abigail
10 months ago
1. They can't achieve easy goals.
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Most of us have no problem putting something on our to-do list and actually being able to tick it off. Maybe it's unloading the dishwasher, making a doctor's appointment, picking up washing-up liquid from the store. However, a lack of willpower can make these seemingly easy tasks into something much more complicated and impossible to achieve. So, if your friend or family member is struggling with the most basic things, it could be that a lack of willpower is to blame. Without willpower, even the easiest to-do lists represent something that will never, ever get done.2. Or they don't have any goals for the near future.
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When we're asked, "What are you doing next weekend?" we usually have an answer. Whether we have plans (getting coffee with a friend) or just a vague outline of what we want to do (relax a little, go shopping, head out for a walk), we have goals and things we'd like to see happen. A lack of willpower can manifest itself as a significant lack of goals, even just in the near future. The inability to make things happen also means not wanting to do *anything* soon, so if you ask them what they want to do at the weekend or next week, they may not have an answer for you.3. A lack of self-discipline.
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Self-discipline is often referred to in terms of diet - as in, the discipline needed to keep eating healthily, not binge on sweets, or opt for a decaf coffee instead of a full-caffeine coffee now and again. But people with a lack of willpower won't just lack this self-discipline when it comes to food - it can permeate every layer of their life. It could mean they find it hard to workout a few times a week, attend regular appointments, or achieve long-term goals like finding a new job. Either way, lacking self-discipline is a sure-fire sign of no willpower.4. They don't know when to stop.
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Knowing when to stop is instinctive. Most of us just know when we're going too far, and that applies to so many different situations. It might be that we know the next drink is going to push us into dangerously drunk territory, or we know that we shouldn't have another slice of cake. Alternatively, it could be knowing when we've reached our limit with exercise, and not running even further when we feel sick. However, a lack of willpower means this line is more blurred, and it can be more difficult to know when we should stop with something.5. They show inconsistent habits.
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A habit is something you do so often that it becomes part of your way of living. That might be having a coffee at 9am every day, doing yoga after work, or reaching for a glass of wine at the end of a work day. Whatever it is, these habits should be consistent - we go for the same thing each time, it's habitual. A dangerous lack of willpower, though, can manifest is weird, inconsistent habits. For example, they might not have a clear routine, and switch things around all the time depending on their mood, or because they don't feel like doing something. In itself, this isn't a bad thing, but it could signify a bad lack of willpower which can manifest in even worse ways.6. They show no self-control.
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One of the dangerous ways that a lack of willpower can manifest is in self-control. Like self-discipline, self-control tells us when to avoid something that might harm us. It's also about being able to control our emotions so we don't say something bad at the wrong time, shout at someone we don't mean to, or get overly disappointed at a minor setback. A lack of willpower also means no self-control, which can mean dangerous lapses in judgement or even big emotional outbursts.7. And that can spiral.
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You'll know when someone has a dangerous lack of self-control because they're probably emotionally sensitive and unpredictable. For example, they could get very angry for no reason, start crying because they made a mistake at work, or freakout when something goes wrong. On the physical side, no self-control can also mean these kind of people are more at risk of hurting themselves because they might try things without thinking. So, it's always worth looking out for the signs of no willpower, as it could spiral quickly.8. They throw blame onto others.
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If someone you know is making a habit of blaming everyone else for their own mistakes, that could also be a sign that they have no willpower. Part of willpower is being responsible for our actions and actively knowing what we've done wrong. So, when the blame is passed onto someone else, it's either because these people genuinely can't see that they've done something wrong, or that they do know what it is but don't want to accept responsibility for it. So, if you see it happening quite often (not just a once in a while occurrence), it could be down to a lack of willpower.9. And can't take responsibility for things.
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We've mentioned that part of placing blame onto others is a reluctance to take responsibility for the mistakes they've made. However, responsibility isn't just about mistakes: it's about knowing when we need to do something. For example, people with a lack of willpower may also struggle to care for things, or complete tasks that have been assigned to them. This could range from being uncooperative when sharing responsibility for houseplants, or not wanting to take on a managerial role for a large team project at work.10. They tend to be quite passive.
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Overall, willpower is about being able to do things yourself, with no prompting from anyone else. Literally, it's about the power of your own will. So, when someone doesn't have any willpower, this can look like a feeling of passivity for their entire life. They don't want to think about the future, they don't want to complete tasks that they need to do, and they can't care for themselves without self-control and self-discipline. All of this when it persists for a really long time can be really dangerous.11. And can't summon passion for anything.
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Passion is such an important part of life, and you know when someone doesn't feel that. Well, a lack of passion frequently goes hand-in-hand with a lack of willpower. It's not necessarily a feeling of depression - they might not feel sad or worthy of living - but more a lack of joy and passionate interest for things. For example, they might not have any hobbies, they might not put a lot of effort into keeping friendships, and they might not spend their weekends doing much of note. In general, this kind of passionless life can definitely be linked to having no willpower.12. They lack motivation.
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Willpower is often linked to motivation: if we don't have the will to do something, it means we also lack motivation for it. And that means that in people with a lack of willpower, lack of motivation for things is one of the sure-fire signs that they might need help. Things to look out for include having no motivation for work, just going along with what they're told; not wanting to start any hobbies; and expressing no interest in trying anything new in their life. A lack of motivation can also be closely linked to depression, so if you see this trait in someone, it's worth checking that it isn't anything worse.13. Or are just tired all the time.
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There are usually lots of reasons why we're tired. It can come down to what we're eating, how much we're exercising, our genes, and even sickness. However, feeling tired is also strongly tied to our mental health, which means that if we're tired all the time, it's probably a sign that something else is going on. Tiredness can also be linked to having a lack of willpower: if we don't feel the motivation to do anything, our body will likely respond by feeling tired. However, this can exacerbate the problem, as we're less likely to want to do anything when we're tired.14. They're always angry or sad.
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We've mentioned that self-control goes hand-in-hand with a lack of willpower. This trait is about having a handle on our emotions, so we don't spend all our time swaying from one extreme to other. So, in people with a lack of willpower, there's a higher chance that they might spend more of their time in the kind of emotions that we would only feel now and again. This can include extreme anger and extreme sadness, and it's one of the easiest traits that can help you identify someone who has a lack of willpower.15. Or flip between emotions.
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Flipping between emotions is also common for someone with a lack of willpower. Without the self-control to identify irrelevant or pointless emotions (like feeling illogically angry when we don't get our way, or if we can't get what we want), people with a lack of willpower can also seem like their flip-flopping between emotions all the time. Sometimes they might seem completely dispassionate, then they might be angry, then sad, then joyous. This intense emotional rollercoaster can be really hard to deal with, so make sure to check in with them to prevent it from getting worse.16. They don't feel pleasure for things.
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There are so many things in life that can give us pleasure, but without willpower, it's harder to recognize those things and they might even pass us by completely. People with a lack of willpower might still experience happiness, but without that basic willpower, the emotion may not be strong enough to actually trigger pleasure. The overwhelming feeling in someone with a lack of willpower is usually apathy, so these happy moments may not make as much of an impact on them as on someone who has a normal amount of human willpower.17. They can't think further ahead than a few days.
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Having an eye for short-term and long-term goals is one thing that makes humans different from other species. Whereas many other animals are focused on surviving over the next few hours, or until the next morning, we have a unique ability to think ahead, and plan weeks, months, or years in advance to achieve our goals. But when you've got a lack of willpower, this becomes impossible. Thinking ahead more than a few days might seem like an impossible feat, and something that isn't worth all the effort. So, a sure-fire sign that someone has a lack of willpower is them not having long-term plans.18. They have a short attention span.
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Okay, all of us really have a short attention span - and they're getting shorter. But people with a lack of willpower will find it harder to stick with something for more than minutes at a time, because their lack of motivation makes it harder to finish things. So, they might struggle to sit through long movies and prefer short episodes of things on YouTube, or they might not like to sit through hour-long tasks at work - because they simply don't have the passion and motivation to do it. Consider this next time you see someone drifting off from the thing they're meant to be focusing on.19. Or just lack focus in general.
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A short attention span is a little different from a lack of focus. Whereas attention span is about how long we can spend on one thing without getting distracted, focus is a more intensive kind of attention - one where we have to use our brains. So, watching a movie is a little different from working for 3 hours straight, and only one requires a really good level of focus to do right. People with a lack of willpower naturally will have shorter attention spans, but they might also struggle with focusing on things, which can make working much more difficult.20. They never get in touch with their friends.
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It's always hard to find the time to meet with friends these days - we're always too busy with family or other commitments, or else work is crazy and we just want to rest! But while it's normal to struggle with making plans with friends, people with no willpower will find these even harder. They might not see the point in keeping in touch with their friends, and so months or even years could go by without speaking to anyone. And when communication is tough, making future plans is harder, so they might never see anyone either.21. Or struggle to commit to relationships.
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A lack of willpower makes it harder to focus, harder to make long-term goals, and harder to commit to things. So, people with a significant lack of willpower generally find it harder to maintain long-term relationships, because they lack that motivation to see into the future and put the work into things that are going to last a while. While not all people will struggle with this (and it's definitely not a trait limited to people with a lack of power...) it's definitely a sign that someone could be hitting dangerous levels of a lack of willpower.22. They're generally flaky with plans.
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As we've mentioned, it's generally harder for someone who's lacking in willpower to reach out to people and also plan for the future. But without that instinctive motivation that we all have to do things and achieve goals, people without willpower can also be flaky with their plans. Cancelling last minute, or realizing they actually have somewhere else to be but they've forgotten, or just lacking the motivation to go and do the thing they've planned: these are all common traits in someone with a lack of willpower.23. They procrastinate a lot.
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Procrastination is also a normal part of our daily lives: sometimes we just can't focus on the task that we're doing and we find ourselves going to YouTube or scrolling through endless TikToks to avoid the thing we're doing. However, procrastination can be much stronger in someone with a lack of willpower precisely because they lack the self-control and focus to finish a task once they've started. Instead, their attention wanders, and not achieving the thing they need to makes their self-discipline worse.24. And are always losing their job.
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Sometimes, the lack of focus and impulse to procrastinate can have really terrible effects. Just like people with a lack of willpower can find it difficult to be in a long-term relationship because their brain can't think in long time periods, they might also find themselves in and out of jobs because their lack of focus and motivation (which might lead to them sleeping on the job) doesn't gel with the modern working environment. They simply can't be part of a team if they don't get their part done, and have the tendency to pass off responsibility to other people.25. They can be very impulsive.
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Impulsivity is another strong sign that someone has a dangerous lack of power. It's partly linked to self-control - the thing that should tell us to hold back, to not do something, because it's not a good idea. Instead, with their rollercoaster of emotions and lack of self-control, they might be more impulsive than normal people. This might seem more heightened if they drink alcohol, and can even lead to really dangerous situations because their brain doesn't know how to tell them to stop. So, if you notice this in someone, it's best to keep an eye on them.26. And will change their mind very often.
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Less dangerous than impulsivity is a tendency to change their mind a lot. For someone with a lack of willpower, they might never be able to commit to a decision that they've made, either because it takes place way in the future and they don't want to think about it, or because they flip-flop between choices like they do with tasks and relationships. This can be a really frustrating trait to experience in a friend, as they might always been seen to be flaky on things because they physically can't make their mind up.27. They always choose a short-term reward.
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Most of us know how to prioritize a long-term reward when the time is right. For example, doing a year-long course to become trained in something that will really make our career more valuable, or staying away from sweets, chocolate, and cake to make sure we can fit into our wedding dress. But for people with a lack of willpower, it's much harder to say no to these things in the short-term in order to make room for a longer-term goal. They might not see the value in the long-term goal, or not have the self-discipline to sacrifice things in their daily life in service to a bigger goal.28. And are reluctant to put in the work for a longer goal.
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So, with people with a lack of willpower, you often see that they won't put the work in to a long-term goal, favoring instead short-term aspirations. To other people, this can look really incomprehensible. Why are you persisting in something that will make your future worse just because it's good right now? But people with a dangerous lack of willpower can't or won't make that distinction, because they don't have the focus necessary to move towards a long-term goal, and make smaller, less exciting steps towards something that requires a lot of effort.29. They never seem to save money.
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For people with an inability to focus on long-term goals and sacrifice things in the short-term for long-term gains, it makes sense that people with a lack of willpower are also bad at saving money. Because they can't think far ahead, these people are far more likely to splash their cash on something fun in the short-term - something that they'll probably grow bored with quickly and move onto another thing. Or, they will spend ages regretting their choice of purchase because they can't make up their mind as to what they actually want.30. And tend to make unhealthy food choices.
