Things Only Adopted Kids Will Understand
By Anna Collins
7 months ago
1. Not recognizing yourself in your family members
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Only as an adopted child will you understand how it feels to look at your family members and not see the physical resemblance. Or, in terms of personality traits. You may be super clumsy and you may not be able to liken that to other family members who do not share some of your habits or quirks.2. Wondering how much family you have out there
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As an adopted child it's only natural to wonder how much family you have out there. Do you have a birth sister? Do you have a long-lost twin? Do you have an abundance of cousins or aunties and uncles? These are the kinds of questions nobody else will relate to like you do.3. Wanting to know more, but also not wanting to know
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Adopted children only will understand the true pull of wanting to know more about your birth family and history and also not wanting to know for fear of what you will find out. It's a very difficult decision between knowledge, upheaval, and disturbing the life you know right now.4. Feeling a strength in your story
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As an adopted child you should be proud of your past and your journey, and the fact that you have an extreme amount of strength to have been through something so huge. You can understand genuine pride in knowing that your story makes you solid and unique.5. What it's like to be asked 'what about your real parents
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Some children and even adults lack tact and will ask people who have been adopted, 'but what about your REAL parents?'. Despite that this probably comes from a place of curiosity, the insinuation that your adopted family isn't your real family can hurt.6. Navigating emotions towards siblings who weren't adopted
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It can be super hard to navigate a place in the family, especially if you were adopted when you were older. Finding a place among siblings something that adopted children with adoptive siblings will understand can be very difficult, as you may feel different than them.7. Feeling clueless in regards to your medical family history
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When you're at the doctors or filling out a survey in regards to your family medical history it's at this point that adopted children will struggle because it is of course referring to blood medical history. Adopted children will not know and they'll have to leave the spaces blank.8. The questions of why you were adopted?
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Why was I adopted? Did my parents not want me? Did something happen to them? Did they love me? There are so many traumatic questions that adopted children have at some point as they wonder why they were adopted and whether the situation was inevitable or it was a choice.9. Feeling like you may be betraying your adopted family if you want to reunite with your blood family
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Only adopted children will realize how hard it is to navigate the natural curiosity about their birth family, whilst dealing with the emotions of loyalty toward their adoptive family. This intrigue rarely stems from a place of wanting to replace their adoptive family, but some people who have been adopted may feel as though they are betraying their family.10. Fantasizing about your birth parents
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It's only natural for adopted children to think about their birth parents and even fantasize about them. They may dream that they loved them dearly and were forced to give them up for adoption. They may dream about them finding them one day. They may even fantasize that their birth parents were celebrity superstars!11. Having doubts about whether you were rejected
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One thing that many adopted children struggle with is feeling rejected by their birth family. Sometimes they do not know the reasons for why they were given up for adoption and they may struggle with feelings that they were rejected and unwanted which can make their self-esteem suffer.12. Having no pictures of your youngest self
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Looking at old baby photos is something we like to do on occasion. But for adopted children, there will be a time in their past from which they have no photos. It may be brief, or years without any photos of what they looked like, who they were with, or what they were doing.13. Searching for information on your birth family online
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Many adopted children will search for their birth family name on the internet to see what they can find. It's a strange mix of emotions which include a lot of fear and uncertainty as well as sometimes a kind of excited apprehension. But it's something many adopted children experience.14. True appreciation for their adoptive parents
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Only adopted children will feel this kind of immense gratitude for their adoptive parents. Their adoptive parents embraced them as one of the family and raised them as their own, and this kind of love transgresses barriers such as blood and creates a very powerful bond.15. Navigating a variety of emotions about their birth parents
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It's completely normal for adopted children to feel a huge range of emotions towards their birth parents. Sometimes it may be longing, it could be anger and betrayal, or even sympathy. These feelings are hugely complex and can only be understood truly by someone who has been through adoption.16. Gratitude for your adoptive parents
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Only adopted children will understand the true gratitude that they feel for their adoptive parents. These are their parents who took them in as one of their own, gave them a loving family, and gave them everything that a parent should give a child. This appreciation is hugely powerful.17. Facing some identity struggles
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Adopted children may face some identity struggles. The identity they have assumed with their adoptive family may at times feel different from the identity they feel they have by blood. It can be confusing and difficult to come to terms with who they are and how they feel.18. Learning that love isn't defined by blood
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Adopted children understand better than anybody that life is not defined by blood, physicality, or genetics. It's actually to do with openness, loyalty, and accepting each other and embracing them as family. love is about being there for one another and living with each other no matter what which is something adopted children truly understand.19. Feeling different to peers or siblings who weren't adopted
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One of the hardest things about growing up as an adopted child can be how they feel different from peers and siblings. They may feel envious that they have birth parents and they do not. They may even feel singled out or isolated because of this at some point.20. Grappling with the concept of nature versus nurture
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Nature versus nurture is a lifelong debate. Which has more prominence and power? An adopted child will feel this. Sometimes they may notice natural traits in their personality that differ from their adoptive family. Other times they may realize that they have grown into someone with very similar values due to the way they've been raised and loved.21. Not knowing if you want to meet your blood relations
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There's no right or wrong when it comes to adopted children finding out who their blood relations are or not doing so. It's a difficult decision that only they would understand, and it can raise a lot of emotions that contradict one another and pull them in different directions.22. Managing differences between you and your adopted family
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Sometimes adopted children rarely even think about the fact they are adopted, others feel very aware of it. Then, there are moments in which they feel different. It may be a minor difference or a huge disagreement but these differences can be harder for an adopted child to overcome or accept.23. The importance of hard and honest conversations
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Adopted children become exposed to hard conversations and it becomes something that they accept. Open communication no matter how difficult is something that they realize they have to do. It may be about asking about their past, or their birth parents which can raise a lot of hard conversations.24. Knowing there are relatives in the world that you don't know
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Most of us will have relatives somewhere in the world that we may not be aware of or we have never met. But, for an adopted child they understand this on a whole different level. They realize that they may have an entire family unit somewhere in the world that they have never met or know nothing about.25. Occasional curiosity about genetic traits
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Where do I get my curly hair from? Who gave me my flushed cheeks and pointed ears? As you grow older you become more aware of the genetics that made you look the way you do and for adopted children, this can raise a curiosity about who was it that they inherited it from.26. Growing up feeling different
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It's a very common emotion for adopted children to grow up feeling different from the people around them. Often, they may not even know anybody else in the same position as them, having been adopted. This can make it hard to navigate as they feel like they don't fit in with their peers.27. Struggling with self-doubt
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Self-doubt can arise in adopted children because they feel rejected or unwanted by their birth family which can affect them forever. It can also stem from not feeling as though they truly know themself because they do not understand where they come from.28. Facing the realization one day that you were adopted
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Some adopted children grow up always knowing that they were adopted by their family. Others are told when their adoptive family deems it the time is right and that they are at an age where they will be able to deal with it and process it. But this realization is a huge concept and something only adopted children can ever understand.29. Struggling to come to terms with why
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Why. Why me? Why wasn't I wanted? Why couldn't my family keep or why didn't they want to? Why aren't my peers like me? There are SO many 'whys' that adopted children have to come to terms with when they realize and have to come to terms with the fact that they were adopted.30. A huge feeling of love and acceptance
