Signs Someone Is Trying To Ruin Our Relationships
By Anna Collins
6 months ago
1. They are constantly prying into the details of your relationship
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When someone is trying to ruin our relationship, you'll notice that they are constantly prying. They want to know every little detail...especially the bad. They'll ask you 'any gossip?'. Is it because they genuinely care? No, they just want to gather all of the negative info they can!2. They spread rumors and gossip
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If they see you happy in a relationship and they don't like it they'll try and get in between the two of you to sabotage it. One of the most common ways they'll do it is by spreading rumors and gossiping about you or your partner which then plants seeds of doubt in everyone's minds.3. Friends who FLIRT with your partner
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When you're friend flirts with your partner it's a gigantic red flag. This isn't your friend at all, they're in sabotage mode and they don't want you to be happy. When you witness this you categorically know that this person is intentionally and cruelly trying to ruin your relationships.4. They tell you for no reason 'I don't like them'
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When people have super strong opinions about someone you're seeing with no real reason, then it comes down purely to jealousy. When someone's genuinely concerned it will be because of the way your partner acted. When they're just trying to ruin our relationship they'll tell you that they don't like the person for no good reason whatsoever.5. They're telling you that 'you've changed'
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'You're not the same with them', 'You're acting differently', 'Maybe you don't realize but they've changed you'. You know if these accusations are founded. If they're not, then they're just trying to get you to think back about the person you're in a relationship with so that you confront them and cause a divide.6. They're constantly criticizing your partner
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Another clear way to spot someone who is ruining your relationship is when they continuously criticize your partner or your relationship. They do it in a way that does not include you - otherwise you'll see right through them. They do it so that their criticism falls upon your partner so that you question if they can see something that you can't!7. They play on your fears
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When someone close to you is ruining your relationship, they can do it in a much more manipulative way because they know your vulnerabilities and your fears. They then pick on your fears, for example, if you were anxious about someone leaving you they would play on this fear and make you believe that this person won't stay around.8. They say 'they're not good enough for you'
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There are so many times in which someone says 'they're not good enough for you' when the intentions are wrong. The idea is that by saying it in this way, it's meant to appease you with the (kinda) compliment and make you question if they are right. But really, they just don't want to see the two of you happy.9. They disrespect your partner to put you in an awkward position
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When a friend gets a partner, you make a special effort to get along with that partner so that you can all get along! What you don't do is try and cause drama...unless you want to ruin a relationship. And someone who does might try and cause a problem to put you bang in the middle in a super awkward position to hopefully drive you towards them, and away from your partner!10. They encourage you to cheat
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If you're out and about with someone who keeps pushing you towards people, encouraging you to take a number or to flirt or cheat on your partner then you instantly know that this person is deliberately trying to ruin your relationship! It's not harmless, it's intentionally trying to sabotage it.11. They aren't pleased for you when you share your happiness as a couple
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You're glowing in your new couple love bubble, enjoying the honeymoon period and all your family and friends are genuinely happy for you. Unless they're not genuine at all and are jealous seeing you happy! In this case, they won't be pleased with it and they might try and hide it but it's written all over their face!12. They're constantly giving their unsolicited advice to you
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'If it were me...', 'what I would do in your case...', or 'If you want my advice'...well no, actually I don't but it looks like you're going to give it to me anyway. Having 'advice' thrown at you constantly about your relationship isn't genuinely trying to help you at all, it's trying to ruin it!13. They try and manipulate how you feel
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Manipulators are only out to get something for themselves, they are NEVER looking out for your best interests, especially when it comes to your relationship. If you tell them you feel one way, they'll try and make you believe that you're not really happy you're just fooling yourself which can make you feel like you're going crazy!14. They exploit your vulnerabilities and play up to them
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Everyone's got vulnerabilities, no matter who you are or how strong you are. It's a part of being human. They will use your own vulnerabilities against you. If you feel insecure and that's the reason that you struggle in relationships, they'll subtly break you down even more!15. They bring up your past relationships and compare
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'Your ex-boyfriend wouldn't have done that', 'Remember that amazing birthday present that your ex-boyfriend got you'... statements like these aren't innocent. Unless it's you bringing up your past, nobody else should do it in comparison to your current boyfriend. Nobody can feel good about hearing their current partner compared with you ex.16. They try and steal all your attention
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Some toxic friends are SUPER intense and want all of your attention. They try and consume your time and steal all of your attention so that you don't have any time for anyone else. It's then very difficult for you to appease your friend whilst trying to maintain a solid relationship.17. They try to dig up 'dirt' on your partner
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If someone is scrolling down to 2016 on your partner's Instagram to find information, or asking around for gossip on your partner...RED flag alert. This person isn't helping, it's clear relationship sabotage. They're trying to dish you the dirt on your own partner to drop a revelation on you that you never knew.18. They tell your partner secrets about you
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Then there are those sneaky people who do it the other way around too. They don't tell you secrets about your partner (although they probably try this too), but they go straight to the person you're dating and tell them secrets about YOU in an attempt to drive them away from you!19. People who try and make you ignore your date
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Most of us have experienced this in some kind of capacity, especially as a woman. When you're out with your mates and your crush or your date is there and you want to speak to them but one of your 'friends' is trying to make you feel guilty by saying things like 'this is supposed to be a girls night and you're ditching us for HIM.'20. They always discuss the worst side, not a neutral opinion
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At the end of the day, every relationship is far from perfect and there's going to be times when your partner annoys you. Normally, someone would give you an unbiased opinion, realizing that this is normal and they also have similar problems to face. Someone trying to ruin your relationship will play on the bad and try and dramatize it into something it's not.21. They threaten to spill your secrets to your date
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If someone tells you that they will spill your secrets to your date...you need to distance yourself from this person. Even if this is said in a jokey way, the intention is probably real. They want you to know that they have information on you and they want you to feel as though they could ruin your relationship at any time...so that you subconsciously start to ruin it yourself from fear of losing them!22. Your friend of the opposite sex is over-familiar and touchy-feely with you
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If you have a friend of the opposite sex, it can be difficult to navigate when you have a new partner. Showing them that there's no romantic interest between the two of you is important, so as a friend, they should do their best to reassure your partner too. If they do the opposite and start acting touchy-feely then they're clearly trying to ruin things for you.23. They exaggerate how 'perfect' their own relationship is to make you feel inadequate
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We all know these kinds of people. The kind who told you how perfect their date night was when you told them you had an argument with your boyfriend last night. Or when you tell them you're worried about your relationship and they tell you that they couldn't be any happier. There's a time and place to gloat...and this isn't it.24. They pretend to want the best for you, that they're 'just looking out for you'
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'I'm just looking out for you' they'll say after trying to twist a version of events to make you dislike your partner. Or after telling you that they're not right for you. But that's not what they're doing at all, quite the opposite. They can see you're happy and they don't like it!25. It's me or them: they give you ultimatums
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Ultimatums are extreme and they leave people with one of two choices. If you have a friend who tells you 'it's you or them' then they're not looking out for your best interests, they're putting you in an impossible decision in which whatever you pick you feel you are losing out!26. They gaslight you into the perception that your relationship is a red flag
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Gaslighting happens when someone tries to make your question the reality and makes you think you've got it wrong. So someone might do this when they're trying to ruin your relationship and they'll try to make you believe that your partner has done something bad when they haven't, and make you believe that you'r wrong bout them!27. Disrupting your plans!
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'You can't go out together on Saturday that's the day of my dog's birthday and I need all my friends to come'. They'll basically do anything to disrupt your plans so that you can't have one-on-one time with your partner and it causes stress between the two of you!28. Encouraging you to keep secrets in your relationships
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When you have something to tell your partner that could rock your relationship, the only way to work through it is to tell them as soon as you can so that you can work through it. Keeping it to yourself means that your partner cannot trust you when they eventually find out! So your so-called 'friend' will encourage you to 'just keep this between ourselves!'29. They plant seeds of doubt about whether you can really trust them
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Once a seed of doubt is there it's super hard to ever get rid of it entirely, but very easy to let it grow. Whoever is planting this seed knows, and that's why they do it! They want to rock your trust in your partner which inevitably will affect or possibly even destroy your relationship!30. Pretending they know negative information about your partner that you don't
