Warning Signs You Should Not Trust Your Sibling

1. Your sibling is ALWAYS telling white lies

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When your sibling consistently lies about trivial matters, it suggests a lack of integrity and honesty. Even seemingly insignificant falsehoods can erode trust over time, as it becomes challenging to discern when they're being truthful. You might think little white lies are harmless, but it can reflect a sibling who twists the truth.

2. They never follow through on their promises

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If your sibling frequently makes commitments but fails to fulfill them, it can indicate a lack of reliability and respect for your time and expectations. This behavior undermines trust because you can't depend on them to keep their word. If you grew up always being disappointed by them, this is a sign.

3. They gossip about you behind your back to other family members

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When your sibling talks about you behind your back, it indicates a breach of trust and loyalty. Such behavior can damage relationships and create rifts within the family, as it fosters an environment of suspicion and betrayal. Gossip is bad enough, but when someone is doing it to your own family members, it's worse!

4. They're always manipulating people

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Did you ever notice your sibling had your parents wrapped around their little finger? If your sibling consistently manipulates circumstances to benefit themselves at the expense of others, it demonstrates a lack of consideration for fairness and honesty. Manipulation undermines trust by distorting communication and intentions.

5. They're always taking your things without your permission

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Most people growing up with a sibling knows what it feels like to have them steal something from your room. Taking your possessions without consent is a clear violation of trust and respect for personal boundaries. It suggests a disregard for your rights and possessions, eroding the foundation of trust necessary for a healthy sibling relationship.

6. You somehow get blamed for their mistakes

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When your sibling refuses to take responsibility for their actions and instead shifts blame onto you, it undermines trust and accountability. Blaming others deflects accountability and perpetuates a cycle of mistrust and resentment within the family dynamic. And as a sibling, you're usually the prime target to take the blame...

7. Your sibling acts suspiciously differently around you

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And we don't mean in a good way! Inconsistencies in behavior suggest a lack of authenticity and sincerity, making it challenging to trust your sibling's intentions and motives. It creates uncertainty about their true feelings and undermines the authenticity of your relationship.

8. They're always betraying your confidence

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Your secrets are most definitely not safe with them! If your sibling repeatedly shares sensitive information you've confided in them with others, it breaches trust and confidentiality. Confidentiality is a cornerstone of trust, and when betrayed, it can lead to feelings of betrayal and reluctance to confide in them further.

9. They disregard your boundaries completely

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Disregarding your boundaries demonstrates a lack of respect for your autonomy and needs, undermining trust and mutual respect. It erodes the sense of safety and security within the sibling relationship, leading to feelings of resentment and mistrust. Any sort of relationship, even with family, needs boundaries.

10. They play mind games with you

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Engaging in manipulative behavior or mind games undermines trust by distorting communication and intentions. It creates an atmosphere of uncertainty and distrust, making it challenging to establish genuine connection and understanding. Growing up with siblings, this is not the sort of game you had in mind!

11. They've stolen credit for your achievements

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Sibling rivalry is real, so it makes sense why you'd want to look a little better than the other. When your sibling claims credit for your accomplishments, it undermines trust and recognition for your efforts and abilities. It diminishes your sense of agency and autonomy, and makes you resent them.

12. If they speak about you, it's negatively

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You've noticed if they're telling new friends or people that they have a sibling, it's always in a derogatory way - insulting you, rather than paying you a compliment. Speaking ill of you to other people undermines trust and loyalty within the family dynamic. It fosters division and resentment, making you feel low.

13. They've actually tried to turn family members against you

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Ah, there's nothing like a volatile family Christmas dinner, but this is a little more personal. Attempting to turn family members against you creates division and mistrust within the family unit. It undermines the sense of solidarity and support that should characterize familial relationships, and makes you feel left out.

14. They have a history of being deceitful

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A pattern of deceitful behavior indicates a fundamental lack of honesty and integrity, eroding trust and credibility. It creates uncertainty and suspicion, making it challenging to rely on your sibling's word or actions. Being their sibling and growing up with them, you'd be the first to notice this pattern across their lifetime.

15. They don't show any remorse for hurting people (including you)

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A lack of remorse for causing harm or distress to others undermines trust and empathy within the relationship. It suggests a disregard for the feelings and well-being of others, fostering resentment and mistrust. It shows that your sibling not only doesn't care how they make you feel, but also that they can't be trusted.

16. They use emotional blackmail on you

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Emotional blackmail is a very common tactic within families because family members feel obliged due to the bond of blood. Employing emotional manipulation tactics to achieve their goals undermines trust and mutual respect. It creates a toxic dynamic based on coercion and control.

17. If there's ever been a family issue, it's your fault (according to them)

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Even if it's a random uncle twice removed who's suddenly got an issue with the family, your sibling will find a way to blame you for it, like that one thing you did on Thanksgiving ten years ago. Blaming you for family issues deflects accountability and undermines trust within the family dynamic.

18. They're jealous and competitive of you

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If someone is jealous of you and always trying to compete, the chances are high that you can't trust them - because they won't be looking to make friends with you, only to beat you. Engaging in excessive competition undermines trust and cooperation within the sibling relationship.

19. They've made it clear they're threatened by your success

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No sibling wants to feel like the 'less successful' sibling, but being threatened is one step worse. Feeling threatened by your accomplishments and successes undermines trust and mutual respect within the sibling relationship. It just means you're antagonistic with each other rather than getting along.

20. Your sibling knows your weaknesses - and they exploit them

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Growing up with you in the same household, your sibling is going to know your strengths, weaknesses and the things that will get you most upset. Exploiting your vulnerabilities to gain the upper hand in conflicts undermines trust and empathy within the relationship. It creates a toxic dynamic based on manipulation.

21. They have a pattern of betraying trust with anyone - not just you

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An untrustworthy sibling isn't just going to be unreliable with you alone. A pattern of betraying trust with others indicates a fundamental lack of integrity and honesty, eroding credibility and reliability. It gives a hint of unease and suspicion, making it challenging to establish genuine connection and understanding.

22. They will always put themselves first

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Above you, above the whole family - above anyone. Prioritizing personal gain over the welfare of the family undermines trust and solidarity within the family unit. It serves to cause building resentment and animosity between everybody, creating a divisive and self-serving dynamic as they get older.

23. They have a bad track record when it comes to dating

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Someone who can't be trusted is likely to have a pattern of bad relationships due to being untrustworthy in those as well. If your sibling is going from partner to partner - and always seeming to break up for a reason like they cheated, they did something dishonest or their partner couldn't rely on them, this can be a sign.

24. They're always gaslighting you

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You can be more vulnerable to gaslighting when you live with someone and around them all the time, which is the case for growing up with a sibling. Gaslighting undermines trust and mutual understanding within the sibling relationship by distorting reality and manipulating perceptions. It creates confusion and self-doubt.

25. You just feel weirdly uncomfortable around them

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Always trust your gut! Feeling uncomfortable or unsafe around your sibling undermines trust and emotional safety within the relationship. It causes anxiety and mistrust, creating a sense of unease and insecurity. You might know, deep down, that you feel weird because you can't depend on them.

26. They might actually be emotionally abusive

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To you, to other family members, or to people they've dated. Engaging in emotionally abusive behavior undermines trust and mutual respect within the sibling relationship. It fosters feelings of fear and intimidation, creating a toxic and unhealthy dynamic which you don't want when it comes to your brother or sister.

27. Intimidation tactics are their go-to

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For some reason, your sibling always has to be the dominant one - and they want you to know it. Employing intimidation tactics to assert dominance undermines trust and emotional safety within the relationship that you have with your sibling. It can leave you feeling afraid and submissive.

28. They're strangely secretive with everything they do

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Everyone is entitled to their secrecy, but if all they ever are is excessively secretive, it's untrustworthy. You find yourself constantly wondering what they're saying, doing or what they're up to. Suspicion, distance and alienation are the orders of the day, and the more time you spend with them, the worse it gets.

29. They're the biggest attention seeker you've ever met

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It makes sense why someone who wants the upper hand over you and who likes to intimidate would also be the person looking to get the most attention in any situation! Seeking constant attention and validation undermines trust and emotional intimacy between the two of you.

30. They have never once agreed to compromise

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You think you might have the most stubborn sibling in the world. Their refusal to compromise is usually because they want to undermine you, get the upper hand or try to manipulate situations. Refusing to compromise or collaborate undermines trust completely, so it's no wonder you feel this way.

31. They're always breaking the rules

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Your sibling was a rebel rulebreaker growing up, which is sort of a 'cool' thing when you're a certain age - but you may have noticed that's followed them into adulthood, in a bad way. They completely disregard any sort of rules or boundaries, whether in different locations or with different people.

32. They have a history of substance abuse or addiction

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That isn't to say that people with this sort of history or addiction can't be trusted, but you may have had an experience where your siblings has been deceitful or dishonest, whether about the addiction itself, or in order to manipulate so that they can have another drink, another smoke or whatever it is they want.

33. They're particularly dishonest when it comes to money

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You can usually tell how untrustworthy a person is based on their spending habits alone! If your sibling is constantly lying about what they're buying, how much they have or even lying to try and get you to lend them money, this is all deceitful behavior that eventually erodes your opinion of them.

34. They might even have a history of trouble with the law

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A history of legal troubles or unethical behavior undermines trust and credibility within the sibling relationship. It fosters uncertainty and suspicion, creating a sense of instability and risk. If your sibling is constantly getting in trouble for petty things this can reflect an untrustworthy mindset and personality.

35. If you call them out on anything, they have an excuse ready

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Taking accountability is not their strong suit - it's not even in their radar. Making excuses for their behavior completely jeopardizes any trust you might have had for them. It creates a weird imbalance and even makes you lose respect for the fact that they can't just take responsibility for anything.

36. If they agree to something, they always change their mind

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Continuously reneging on agreements demonstrates a disregard for honoring obligations and respecting boundaries. It creates uncertainty and frustration, making it difficult to trust your sibling's word or intentions in any arrangement. You might come to a deal with your sibling only to have them go back on their word and dig their feet in about it.

37. Could your sibling be a narcissist?

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Narcissists display many behaviors that can make it very difficult to trust them, and especially in a sibling dynamic. If your sibling is emotionally abusing or manipulating you, gaslighting you, emotionally blackmailing you or constantly seeking to one-up you, it may also be that they're a narcissist.

38. They're the very definition of passive-aggressive

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Employing passive-aggressive behavior undermines trust between siblings and destroys any chance of open and honest communication within the sibling relationship. All it does is create confusion and makes you feel distrust about what they're saying versus what they actually mean, leading to frustration.

39. You've noticed they completely lack integrity

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A sibling's lack of integrity in their actions erodes the trust and credibility essential for a healthy relationship. It breeds uncertainty and suspicion, leaving behind feelings of dishonesty and betrayal. It can be very hard to trust a person who doesn't show any obvious integrity, even if they're a family member.

40. They use shallow flattery and charm

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While your sibling comes across as very charming with others and uses a lot of compliments, you've noticed that this is shallow and most often done so that they can get something they want. You've noticed they do it to manipulate people, leaving you in doubt whether they're being authentic.

41. So you don't trust your sibling: what can you do? Set your boundaries!

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It's clear that your sibling has trouble respecting boundaries, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't set them - for your own good. Clearly define your boundaries and communicate them assertively to your sibling. This can help establish expectations and protect yourself from further breaches of trust.

42. Stop sharing sensitive information with them

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If you can't trust your sibling, then the sad fact is that you just can't comfortably share anything personal with them anymore. Be cautious about sharing sensitive information with your sibling until trust is rebuilt. Focus on maintaining a more superficial level of communication until you feel comfortable sharing more personal details.

43. Seek support - whether professional, or from other family members

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Reach out to other family members, friends, or a therapist for support and guidance. Having a support network can provide emotional validation and help you navigate the complexities of your relationship with your sibling. It can be a lonely experience if you feel like your sibling is only targeting you.

44. Confront the issue head on

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Have an honest conversation with your sibling about your concerns regarding trust. Be specific about the behaviors or actions that have led to your feelings of distrust and express your desire to work through the issues together. If they don't want to change or don't agree, that's not your fault.

45. Set realistic expectations - they might never be who you want them to be

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Understand that rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both parties. Be patient and realistic about the progress you can expect, and acknowledge that setbacks may occur along the way. There might be progress if they're willing, but alternatively, if they never want to change, you have to accept that.

46. Consider a family therapist

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If the issues between you and your sibling are particularly complex or deeply ingrained, consider seeking the help of a family therapist or mediator. A neutral third party can facilitate productive discussions and offer guidance on repairing the relationship. This can be more helpful than attending your own therapy alone.

47. Focus on self-care

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It's likely if your sibling is doing all of these things, they're making you feel pretty bad about yourself. Prioritize self-care and emotional well-being as you navigate the challenges of rebuilding trust with your sibling. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and make time for relaxation and stress relief.

48. Be more observant

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It might be that you're now conditioned to think the worst of your sibling, or you just want to pay attention to if they're getting any worse. Pay attention to your sibling's actions and behaviors over time to assess whether they are making genuine efforts to rebuild trust. Stay vigilant for any signs of recurring dishonesty or manipulation.

49. Focus on forgiveness, if you can

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While forgiving your sibling doesn't mean forgetting the past or condoning their actions, it can help release resentment and facilitate healing in the relationship. Work towards forgiveness as part of the process of rebuilding trust, but also recognize that it may take time - and that you don't have to forget to forgive.

50. It's okay to show your sibling that there are consequences

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Clearly communicate the consequences of continued untrustworthy behavior to your sibling. Let them know that rebuilding trust requires accountability and that there will be repercussions if they fail to uphold their commitments or respect your boundaries. Setting clear consequences can help reinforce the importance of rebuilding trust and encourage your sibling to take their actions seriously.