Things You Should Never Do At A Funeral

By Elliot Nott 3 months ago

1. NEVER arrive late!

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Showing up late to a funeral not only disrupts the flow of the service but can also inadvertently convey a lack of respect for the deceased and their loved ones. It's crucial to strive for punctuality, allowing ample time to pay respects and support those in mourning

2. Use your phone during the service

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While it might seem like a harmless habit, using your phone during a funeral service can unintentionally detract from the solemn atmosphere and distract others. It's best to keep devices silenced and tucked away, prioritizing presence and respect for the occasion.

3. Talk loudly or make jokes

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Funerals are moments of reflection and mourning, where sensitivity and solemnity are paramount. Talking loudly or making jokes can disrupt the revenant atmosphere and cause discomfort for grieving individuals. Respecting the somber tone of the event is essential.

4. Wear inappropriate attire

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Our choice of attire speaks volumes about our respect and understanding of the occasion. Selecting clothing that is modest and respectful not only honors the solemnity of the funeral but also demonstrates consideration for the grieving family. Dressing appropriately reflects a sensitivity to the gravity of the event, emphasizing our commitment to creating an atmosphere of support.

5. Take selfies or photos of the deceased

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While capturing memories is a natural inclination, doing so at a funeral can be deeply insensitive. Remembering the solemnity of the occasion and respecting the privacy of the deceased and their loved ones means refraining from taking photos without explicit permission.

6. Bring children who can't behave quietly

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Children, though cherished, can unintentionally disrupt the solemnity of a funeral if they're unable to maintain quiet and respectful behavior. Ensuring that children attending understand the importance of the occasion and providing quiet activities can help maintain a respectful atmosphere.

7. Criticize the deceased or their family

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Criticizing the deceased or their family at a funeral is hurtful and inappropriate. Funerals are a time to honor and remember, not to cast judgment or grievances. Respecting the dignity of the occasion means refraining from negative commentary. Remember, every funeral will look different, so don't judge a family's choices!

8. Bring up controversial topics or arguments

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Funerals are about coming together in support and respect, not for engaging in contentious debates that run the risk of stirring the pot. Bringing up controversial topics can create unnecessary tension amongst attendees and detract from the purpose of the gathering.

9. Drink excessively or get drunk

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While it might be tempting to seek solace in alcohol, getting drunk at a funeral is both disrespectful and potentially disruptive. Moderation and sensitivity are key, as excessive drinking can detract from the somber atmosphere and cause discomfort for others.

10. Chew gum or eat loudly

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Being mindful of our behavior includes avoiding distractions like loud chewing or gum popping during a funeral service. It's important to show respect for the solemnity of the occasion and the feelings of those present by refraining from any behavior that might be disruptive.

11. Interrupt the service with personal anecdotes

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While sharing memories can be a beautiful tribute, interrupting the service with personal anecdotes can detract from the flow and solemnity of the occasion. It's important to find the right time and place to share stories, respecting the structure of the service.

12. Make it about yourself or your own grief

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While it's natural to experience grief at a funeral, it's important to remember that the focus should be on supporting others and honoring the deceased. Making the funeral about oneself can unintentionally diminish the experiences and emotions of others who are mourning.

13. Bring pets unless they're service animals

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While pets can provide comfort in times of grief, bringing them to a funeral can be disruptive and inappropriate unless they are trained service animals and are necessary for attendance. Respecting the solemnity of the occasion means leaving pets at home or in the care of others.

14. Flirt or engage in romantic behavior

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Funerals are occasions for reflection and respect, not for pursuing romantic interests. Engaging in flirtatious or romantic behavior during such moments can be perceived as disrespectful and insensitive to the purpose of the gathering. Maintaining a respectful demeanor during funerals is essential to honoring the memory of the departed.

15. Smoke in or near the funeral home or venue

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Smoking in or near the funeral home or venue is not only disrespectful but can also be disruptive and uncomfortable for others. Respecting the wishes of the venue and the sensitivities of those present means refraining from smoking during the service.

16. Display inappropriate body language (eye-rolling, yawning, etc.)

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Our body language serves as a nonverbal expression of our respect and engagement with a given occasion. It's crucial to be mindful of gestures such as eye-rolling or yawning, as they can unintentionally convey disinterest or disrespect. Particularly in sensitive situations like funerals, where emotions run high, being aware of our non-verbal cues is essential to ensure that we convey the appropriate level of respect and consideration.

17. Ask personal questions to grieving family members

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While it's natural to want to offer support, asking personal questions to grieving family members can be intrusive and uncomfortable. Respecting their privacy and emotional space means allowing them to share as much or as little as they feel comfortable with.

18. Start a political or religious debate

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Funerals are moments of unity and respect, not for engaging in contentious debates. Bringing up political or religious topics can create unnecessary tension and detract from the purpose of the gathering. Definitely save these sorts of conversations for another day!

19. Make inappropriate comments about the deceased's appearance

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Commenting on the appearance of the deceased is not only inappropriate but also insensitive. Funerals are moments to honor the person's life and memory, focusing on the positive aspects of their character and the impact they had on others. Critiquing physical attributes during such a somber occasion can be hurtful and diminish the respectful atmosphere that is crucial for comforting those in mourning.

20. Bring gifts or solicitations

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While gestures of kindness are appreciated, funerals are not the appropriate venue for exchanging gifts or soliciting donations. Respecting the dignity of the occasion means refraining from any behavior that might be seen as self-serving or opportunistic.

21. Bring loud or disruptive children's toys

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While children are a natural part of life, it's important to ensure that any toys they bring to a funeral are quiet and respectful. Disruptive toys can detract from the tone of the occasion and cause unnecessary discomfort for those who are grieving. If your child cannot sit respectfully without the use of toys, it might be best to keep them at home.

22. Laugh or giggle during somber moments

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Laughter and giggling during somber moments can be perceived as disrespectful and insensitive. It's important to be mindful of the tone and atmosphere of the occasion, showing respect for the feelings of those who are grieving.Maintaining a somber and considerate demeanor helps create a supportive environment where people can navigate their grief without feeling uncomfortable or disrupted by inappropriate expressions of joy.

23. Use foul language

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Using foul language at a funeral can disrupt the emotional atmosphere and make others uncomfortable. It may also be offensive to some attendees, potentially causing unnecessary tension during an already sensitive time. Language is a powerful tool, and choosing words carefully at a funeral helps maintain a respectful environment, allowing everyone to focus on honoring the memory of the deceased and supporting one another in their grief.

24. Make negative remarks about the ceremony or traditions

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While everyone may have their own beliefs and opinions, a funeral is not the time to criticize or disparage the ceremony or traditions. Respecting the customs and practices of the deceased and their family means refraining from any behavior that could be seen as disrespectful.

25. Share graphic or inappropriate stories

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Sharing graphic or inappropriate stories at a funeral can be upsetting and disrespectful, regardless of what you truly think of them. It's important to be mindful of the sensitivities of those present and to focus on sharing memories and tributes that honor the deceased.

26. Make loud or distracting noises

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Being mindful of our surroundings includes avoiding loud or distracting noises during a funeral service. Make sure when you are in attendance of a funeral that there is nothing on you that could go off at any point or has any risk of making unnecessary noise!

27. Bring a large entourage without prior approval

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While it's natural to want to show support, bringing a large entourage to a funeral without prior approval can be overwhelming and disrespectful. It's important to respect the wishes of the family and to attend the funeral with only those who have been explicitly invited.

28. Use the opportunity to network or promote business

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While networking is important, a funeral is not the appropriate venue for promoting business or personal interests. Respecting the solemnity of the occasion means refraining from any behavior that could be seen as self-serving or opportunistic. Save any networking chat for another day!

29. Take food or drinks without permission

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Helping oneself to food or drinks without permission at a funeral is often viewed as disrespectful and inappropriate. It's essential to be mindful of the needs and wishes of the grieving family, demonstrating respect for their hospitality and recognizing the solemnity of the occasion.

30. Share personal information about the deceased without consent

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Sharing personal information about the deceased without consent can be intrusive and insensitive. It's important to be mindful of the privacy and dignity of the deceased and their family, refraining from sharing any information that could be seen as inappropriate or disrespectful.

31. Correct or argue with the speaker or officiant

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While everyone may have their own beliefs and opinions, a funeral is not the time to correct or argue with the speaker or officiant. Respecting the authority and guidance of those leading the service means refraining from any behavior that could be seen as disrespectful.

32. Touch the deceased without permission

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I'm sure no one is particularly keen on doing this in the first place, but touching the deceased without permission can be seen as intrusive and disrespectful. It's important to be mindful of the sensitivities of those present, showing respect for their grief and the dignity of the deceased.

33. Bring food with strong odors

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Bringing food with strong odors to a funeral can be distracting and inappropriate. It's important to be mindful of the sensitivities of those present, showing respect for their grief and the solemnity of the occasion. Maybe save your Wendy's for after the event has taken place... 

34. Bring balloons or other celebratory items

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Bringing balloons or other celebratory items to a funeral is often considered disrespectful and inappropriate. It's crucial to be mindful of the solemnity of the occasion, demonstrating respect for the grief of those in attendance. Such festive elements can undermine the gravity of the event and may make others uncomfortable.

35. Discuss the cause of death inappropriately

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Engaging in inappropriate discussions about the cause of death can be profoundly upsetting and disrespectful in the context of a funeral. It is crucial to exercise mindfulness regarding the sensitivities of those present, demonstrating a sincere respect for their grief and the dignity of the departed individual.

36. Bring attention to yourself through dramatic displays of emotion

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While it's natural to feel emotional at a funeral, it's important to be mindful of the sensitivities of those present. Show respect for their grief and the solemnity of the occasion by avoiding dramatic displays of emotion that could draw attention away from the deceased and their family.

37. Leave trash or litter behind

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Leaving trash or litter behind at a funeral can be seen as disrespectful and inappropriate. It's important to be mindful of the environment and the feelings of those present, showing respect for the solemnity of the occasion by cleaning up after yourself.

38. Take photographs without permission

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Taking photos at a funeral without permission can be seen as intrusive and disrespectful. It's important to be mindful of the sensitivities of those present, showing respect for their grief and the dignity of the deceased by seeking permission before capturing any moments.

39. Bring along a large group of friends without being invited

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Showing up with a big crew to a funeral without an invite can be a bit much and not cool. It's crucial to respect what the family wants and only roll in with the folks who got a direct invite. Keeping it low-key and sticking to the guest list is a way to honor the family's wishes during a tough time.

40. Use excessive perfume or cologne

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While personal hygiene is important, using excessive amounts of perfume or cologne at a funeral can be overwhelming and distracting. It's essential to be mindful of the sensitivities of those present and to show respect for the solemnity of the occasion by opting for subtle scents or refraining from using fragrances altogether.

41. Talk loudly on the phone outside the venue

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Holding loud conversations on the phone outside the funeral venue can disrupt the solemn atmosphere and disturb those who are trying to pay their respects. It's important to be mindful of the environment and the feelings of those present, showing respect for the occasion by keeping conversations quiet and discreet.

42. Bring a large bag or purse that could obstruct others

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Carrying a large bag or purse that obstructs the space of others at a funeral can be seen as inconsiderate and disrespectful. It's important to be mindful of the limited space available and to show respect for the needs of others by minimizing obstructions and keeping personal belongings out of the way.

43. Make jokes about death or the deceased

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Making jokes about death or the deceased at a funeral can be hurtful and inappropriate. It's important to be mindful of the sensitivities of those present and to show respect for their grief and the memory of the deceased by refraining from making light of the occasion.

44. Bring distractions like games or puzzles

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Bringing distractions like games or puzzles to a funeral can detract from the solemnity of the occasion and disrupt the mourning process. It's important to be mindful of the purpose of the gathering and to show respect for the deceased and their family by refraining from engaging in unrelated activities.

45. Wear flashy or attention-seeking clothing

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Wearing flashy or attention-seeking clothing to a funeral can be seen as disrespectful and inappropriate. It's important to be mindful of the solemnity of the occasion and to show respect for the deceased and their family by dressing in a manner that is modest and understated.

46. Allow space for others to grieve

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Allowing space for others to grieve at a funeral is crucial for their emotional well-being. It validates their feelings, fosters healing, and strengthens connections within the community, creating a supportive environment where everyone can honor and mourn the deceased together.

47. Avoid any alcohol or substance abuse

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Skipping alcohol and substances at a funeral is key to keeping the vibe respectful and solemn for proper mourning. It helps everyone stay clear-headed, avoiding any disruptions or awkward behavior. When folks steer clear of the drinks, it sets the stage for a space where real emotions can flow, memories can be shared, and we can honor the departed with a sense of dignity and respect.

48. Refrain from making lots of noise

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Staying quiet at a funeral is crucial to respect the solemn atmosphere and allow mourners to grieve without distractions. It honors the memory of the deceased and demonstrates empathy and support for those who are mourning their loss. If you just can't help yourself, step outside and return when you have composed yourself!

49. Avoid showing displays of wealth or status

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Avoiding displays of wealth and status at a funeral is crucial to maintain focus on honoring the deceased and supporting grieving loved ones. It fosters inclusivity, respect, and dignity, ensuring that the focus remains on remembering and celebrating the life of the departed, rather than external symbols of prestige.

50. Don't impose your religious beliefs

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It's important not to impose religious beliefs at a funeral to respect diverse perspectives and honor the deceased's beliefs or wishes. Allowing space for individual expressions of faith fosters inclusivity, comfort, and respect for the grieving process.

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