Signs You’re Just A Rebound

3 years ago

1. The Person You're Dating Has Had A Recent Breakup

Image Source / WikipediaIf you find out that your partner has only just had a very recent breakup, it's a huge red flag in terms of them getting back into a relationship so soon after the last one ended. Usually it takes some time for a person to process the end of a relationship to avoid a rebound.

2. They Want A Casual Relationship - But It Hasn't Been Communicated Very Well

Image Source / Everyday HealthThere's nothing wrong with two people saying they're only looking for some casual. The problem is when one person wants something casual but never tells the other person that - when they're looking for something serious. If you're a rebound, you might think you're in a serious relationship for them to say they suddenly don't know what they want.

3. It's Only About Sex

Image Source / Women's HealthA partner who is rebounding will often only want sex, because they crave only that physical intimacy since ending their previous relationship. It can end up making you feel 'used' for sex because that's all they want.

4. Their Goal Is To Make Their Ex Jealous

Image Source / StylecrazeYou could be the very tool they need to make their ex jealous. They want their ex to think they've moved on with someone new, and being intimate with someone else. They could plan things, like outings where their ex is going to be or posting on social media, to make sure their ex finds out about you.

5. They Never Stop Talking About Their Ex

Image Source / Zing InstrumentsThere's nothing wrong with mentioning an ex, but if the person is constantly going on and on about them when they're spending time with you, it's a red flag they're still not over them and maybe didn't want the previous relationship to end.

6. Or They Never Talk About Them At All

Image Source / Times of IndiaEqually, it's just as suspicious if they never, ever mention their ex at all - even when prompted. This implies some hidden feelings that they still haven't worked through, if they're not comfortable even mentioning them at all.

7. They're Very Bitter Towards Their Ex

Image Source / Live Bold and BloomIf your partner is on the rebound, they might still be holding on to some very recent negative feelings about their ex. They might come across as angry and resentful towards their ex, which might manifest itself when they're spending time with you.

8. They Might Have Started A Relationship With You To Try And Get Over Them

Image Source / YourTango

If they're extremely bitter, they might have got with you to try and get over that bitterness - but because they're so angry, they just can't move past it and aren't able to commit to you because of the anger they're still holding on to.

9. They Might Get Angry About Being Sexually Frustrated

Image Source / Women's Health

You might have a very difficult time having good sex with this person. You may constantly find you're not doing anything to please them, or they seem to get annoyed no matter what you do. This isn't because you're doing anything wrong, but because they're probably still thinking about their ex, or comparing it to sex with their ex.

10. They're Just Using You To Have Someone To Be Around

Image Source / Oprah DailyFor people who have recently broken up with someone, they might struggle to spend time alone with their own thoughts. They may then get into something quickly with a new person, just to have someone to be around so they're not alone.

11. They're Just Someone Who Will Never, Ever Be Single

Image Source / Clarity ClinicSome people absolutely cannot stand being alone and single. They can't deal with themselves out of a relationship. They bounce from relationship to relationship because they just refuse to be single. You might therefore be just the next one they're using to avoid the single tag.

12. They Want To Constantly Be Doing Things With You, Non-Stop

Image Source / The TelegraphYou might take this as a compliment, but actually it could be a sign that they refuse to stop and think about their emotions for a moment, or deal with a recent breakup, so they want to fill every single minute with something to do. They might want to make back to back plans of social outings and never give you a second to breathe.

13. You Just Feel In Your Gut That You Might Be A Rebound

Image Source / InsiderAlways trust your gut when it comes to relationships and issues, even if the person has openly said that you're not a rebound, but your gut tells you otherwise. It's very unlikely that a rebounding person will admit to, or talk through, problems as well because they're not looking to commit, so will probably just wriggle out of talking about it if you bring it up.

14. They Actually Still See Their Ex

Image Source / Cosmopolitan.comThere's no reason two people who have split up amicably can't still be friends. But if they still see their ex and it feels like it's in a wildly inappropriate fashion to you, as though they're still hung up on each other and act too comfortable around each other, it could be a red flag.

15. And - Worse - They Invite Their Ex Over Without Telling You

Image Source / National TodayYou come home and their ex is on the sofa with them, because they invited them around without asking you. Or, you're going out for a meal and they say, 'Oh, is it okay if so and so pulls up a chair and joins us?' If they are still friends, they'd make plans like proper friends and check with you first without putting their ex's feelings before yours.

16. And They Care More About Their Ex's Feelings Than Yours

Image Source / HealthShots

In this circumstance, if you speak openly to your partner about how you wish you could just have dinner alone with them, or ask for a heads up before their ex comes round, they may do everything they can to defend their ex over you. They may say they don't want to upset their ex or offend them by saying no, without thinking about how you might feel.

17. They Talk To Their Ex An Inappropriate Amount

Image Source / Tikvah Lake Florida

There's nothing wrong with talking to an ex if they're still friends, but if they're talking to them more than they talk to you, speaking with them pretty much 24/7, texting them goodnight before bed, texting them hello in the morning and messaging them throughout a dinner with you instead of talking to you, well, that's not a good thing.

18. They Have Mutual Friends With Their Ex

Image Source / UnsplashYou can't help it if you have mutual friends with a person you break up with, but you both want to continue being friends with them. But if it's an unhealthy relationship where your partner is only still friends with that person to get inside information on what their ex is up to, that's a bad sign.

19. They're Not Interested In Making Friends With Your Friends

Image Source / LiveAboutAnother red flag can be if your partner is clinging on to friends they've had with their ex, but not making any effort to make friends with the people in your life. If they're making time for mutual friends with their ex but not your friends, it looks like they're still stuck on the past.

20. They Only Contact You When They're Down In The Dumps

Image Source / GoodTherapyIf your partner only contacts you when they're feeling low or annoyed, it could be because they're just looking for a self-esteem boost from someone - anyone - because they're still low about their ex. If they don't share the good times with you as well as the bad, it's a red flag.

21. Or, They Only Contact You When They Want Sex

Image Source / CNNYou can have a booty call situation if you're both happy with that, but if you're finding you want a serious relationship but they only contact you when they want sex, it's a sign they're using you as a physical distraction and because they're not getting any physical intimacy from an ex anymore!

22. They're Never Interested In When You're Feeling Down

Image Source / Cleveland ClinicThey only contact you when they're needy of attention to make themselves feel better, but also have no interest in doing the same to you. They want to talk to you about their problems, but have no interest in yours.

23. You Can't Seem To Get To Know Each Other On A Deeper Level

Image Source / Greatist You may find that you've hit a brick wall you can't get past, where you just can't move forward with the relationship. They won't let you know them on a deeper level, and they're not interested in getting to know you on a deeper level, either.

24. It's As Though You're Still Strangers

Image Source / BuzzFeed As a result, you may have been seeing this person for a while but still feel like you're strangers. You don't know what each others hopes, dreams, hobbies or goals are, because it's never discussed. They're not interested in any of that with you because they're still hung up on their ex.

25. You Don't Know Who Their Friends Are

Image Source / Psych Central They may be overly secretive about who their friends even are. This may be because their friend is their ex, or maybe mutual friends with their ex, or maybe their friends have nothing to do with their ex but they just don't see the point in introducing you.

26. Or Their Family

Image Source / Verywell Mind At some stage of a serious relationship, or one that's progressing, you're bound to meet each other's parents or family members. But if you haven't met their family, or even know who their family are because they never talk about them, it's a sign they're not willing to commit.

27. They Still Have Belongings Of Their Ex

Image Source / Megan's MovingThis may be something you find they've been hiding, or maybe they're even open about it - like still having a ton of photos of them on their phone which you see them scrolling through all the time. Maybe their home is still littered with gifts and belongings to their ex, out on display.

28. You Feel Really Worried About The Future

Image Source / World Alliance of YMCAsA rebound relationship is going to go nowhere, because the person won't be invested in a future with you - you're just something for the here and now. You might just have a weird, uncertain feeling about the future with them, or maybe they refuse to talk about future plans at all with you.

29. You Don't Meet Each Other's Needs

Image Source / Metro UKA healthy relationship needs to have both people's needs being met, and if this isn't the case for you two, it could be the relationship is stuck in a rebound phase. This can happen when communication is non-existent, and when the person who is rebounding isn't interesting in fulfilling any of your needs.

30. They Actually Compare You To Their Ex

Image Source / Her Norm

They might directly say out loud all the ways you're different to their ex (and not in a better way), or all the things they did different with their ex. This could be about anything - the way you look, the time you spend together or even in the bedroom. It could even feel like a positive where they're trying to convince themselves their ex is the lesser person in comparison to you - such as 'Oh you're so nice, my ex never did that for me!' - because they're in denial about still having feelings for them.

31. They've Actually Mentioned That They Miss Their Ex

Image Source / UnsplashThey might have slipped up and said it without thinking in passing, and maybe didn't even realise they'd said it. Maybe you were browsing in a store and they said 'Oh so and so used to have this - god I miss those days!' and then moved on as though nothing had happened.

32. They Spoke About Their Ex In A Mature Way - But The Signs Were There

Image Source / UnwrittenMaybe you actually sat down together and had a mature conversation about your past love lives, and they openly spoke about the relationship they had before you. Despite the maturity, it could be the way they spoke about their ex - affectionately, with that smile, or a certain look in their eye, all the signs that they're not over that person.

33. Things Have Moved Really Fast With You

Image Source / Dreamstime.comIn a rebound relationship, the fast forward button can be pressed very quickly because of the desire to move on and throw yourself into a distraction. So you may have found that things have moved surprisingly fast with your new partner, like them insisting you spend more time together, have sex immediately, go on vacation or maybe even move in together.

34. They Constantly Bad Mouth Their Ex

Image Source / Cosmetic DentistryThey waste no time in bad mouthing their ex every chance they get. You might find 99% of your conversations are them bad mouthing their ex. You don't even prompt them or ask anything to do with their ex yet they still find ways to talk bad about them anyway.

35. It Doesn't Really Feel Real

Image Source / MediumThere might be something that just feels off about the relationship, as though it's a weird dream. Like it's just a passing phase and it all feels a bit too much, or maybe even too good to be true. You hust have this niggling feeling it's not a real, stable relationship.

36. They Mentioned They'd Be Going On Loads Of Dates At The Time You Met

Image Source / MensXPWhen you first started dating and weren't exclusive, they could have just mentioned that they've been dating other people, like on a dating app and trying out what's out there. If they've spoken about going on lots and lots of dates, it's a sign they were very quickly trying to rebound from a break up.

37. The Sex Is Very Adventurous

Image Source / HealthlineIf a rebound relationship has a huge focus on casual sex, it could be that the sex isn't like anything you've had before. They might be pushing for more adventurous things and to try everything possible, because they want to get it out of their system, or maybe distract themselves with things they didn't try with their ex.

38. Mood Swings Are The Norm

Image Source / PamojaYou've come to realise that mood swings are just part of their personality by now, because it happens almost every day. One minute they might be all over you wanting to spend time with you, and the next they might come across as cold and dismissive and needing space.

39. They've Called You By Their Ex's Name

Image Source / British GQThis one never feels good, but it can happen - even in relationships that aren't a rebound! But if they've called you by their ex's name - maybe even more than once - and regardless of whether they're apologetic about it, it's a sign their ex (and their ex's name) is on their brain.

40. ... Or Maybe Even Said It In Their Sleep!

Image Source / Medical News TodayThey might not have said the name out loud or called you by the wrong name, but maybe they said it in their sleep. If they're a sleep talker and usually muttering about something, you might have heard them very clearly say their ex's name in a dream.

41. If You Have Met One Of Their Friends, They Were Surprised Your Partner Is Dating

Image Source / FreepikThey haven't been very open to you meeting their friends or family, but maybe one day you bumped into one of their friends in public or something. When your partner introduced you to their friend, did the friend look surprised - or maybe even say out loud - that they were dating again? So soon after (enter ex's name here).

42. Every Day Is Just 'Okay'

Image Source / www.history.comThe relationship isn't bad - maybe you never even argue, and always have a nice time together, but it just feels average or stale in a bearable way. It's just okay - nothing exciting, because your partner isn't invested in making plans for the future or taking the next step, so it's just consistent day after day, and that's it.

43. They Drop Everything If Their Ex Gets In Contact

Image Source / UnsplashYou're enjoying a nice evening together watching a movie and their ex texts. They immediately get up, ignore the movie and spend the rest of the next replying a message because their ex needs something. Or you've made nice weekend plans and they apologise and say they just need to take this phone call because their ex needs to talk.

44. You've Seen Messages Or Maybe Heard Phone Calls That Make You Feel Off

Image Source / MacRumorsMaybe you saw a message pop up on the screen on their phone that was lying next to you, or you heard them talking on the phone in the next room. It could have been one of their friends asking how their new relationship is going, but in a certain tone of voice, or using certain emojis, that make you think they believe it's a joke or something's a bit off.

45. There Isn't Much Thought Into Gifts

Image Source / ThingamagiftWhen you're in a relationship that's getting serious, you can expect birthday and Christmas gifts to become a little more meaningful, but with a rebound, it might be very obvious gifts are last minute, not thoughtful (and more generic), or maybe they even don't bother getting you anything.

46. They Spend A Lot Of Money Impulsively

Image Source / WikipediaPeople in a relationship moving forward begin to think about saving up for things, or money for a future together. The person you're with may make no effort to talk about savings, money or even spending anything down the line with you. They spend as much money as possible when you're together because they're living in the moment.

47. Vacation Plans Are More Last Minute Than Long-Term

Image Source / The New York TimesAgain, couples progressing and wanting to spend more serious time together might start planning for big vacations, like a dream trip a few years down the line when you've saved up. But you might find you struggle to talk about anything like that with them, because that means commitment - so any vacation might be a last minute impulsive thing.

48. And They're Most Probably Weekend Getaways Rather Than Two Week Vacations

Image Source / Tasteful SpaceWeekend getaways or city trips can be more in tune with a rebound relationship, because they're quick, short and can be done last minute. They may also center around getting a swanky hotel room to spend the time in bed or just spend a lot of money partying or being in the moment. This is because this is more in tune with a casual relationship than a serious commitment.

49. They Forget Important Dates Altogether

Image Source / Shrewsbury Colleges GroupOkay, so even people in long-term marriages that have lasted 30 years can still forget an important date every once in a while, but it's more likely in a rebound relationship because they don't think birthdays or other important dates are worth remembering if they're not in it for the long haul.

50. And They're Definitely Not Interested In Celebrating Anniversaries

Image Source / BridesThe same goes for relationship anniversaries. Whether it's small ones like the anniversary of your first date or first kiss, or the milestone ones of how long you've been together, they're just not interested. Both because they haven't bothered to keep track, and because they don't care to for the long-term!