How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

1. Stop listening to their dating problems

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One of the worst things you can do is be there to listen to the other persons dating problems…if this isn’t a sign you are in the friend zone, we don’t know what is! Either stop engaging in these conversations all together or give a blunt response to show you’re not interested. 

2. Don’t keep agreeing with everything they say

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If you want to step out of the friend zone and become a real contender in the dating game, you need to stop agreeing with everything they say and start challenging them. This will make you stand out and they will become more curious about what you have to say.

3. Try pulling away and giving them some space

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This one may seem obvious, but the elastic band theory really does work. If you are constantly at their beck and call, they will start to take you for granted and slowly lose interest. Drawing away will make you seem like you are playing it cool instead of being too needy.

4. Focus more on yourself

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Although you want this person to like you as more than just a friend, it is important not to let them consume you and remember that you are the most important person in your own life. This will also make you seem more attractive by working on becoming your best self.

5. Try flirting with them

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If you want to test the waters to see if the other person feels the same way as you, try flirting with them just to see their reaction. This will give you a good idea if the feelings are reciprocated and you might be in with a chance when you make your move.

6. Be more confident in yourself

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The key to success in the dating world is having confidence. If you don’t believe in yourself, why would the other person? You have to make yourself stand out from the crowd and show this person what they are missing out on if you want to escape the dreaded friend zone.

7. Show them you are relationship material

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If you have been friends with this person for quite a while, they have probably picked up on some of your negative traits which could be why they don’t view you in a romantic way. Do everything you can to change this perception and show them you could be their dream partner.

8. Stop talking to them 24/7

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Another bad habit is falling into the trap of talking to this person all day everyday…in other words, you have become their pen pal. This is not the place you want to be as they will view you as a good 'friend' they can share their problems with, so cut the cord and reduce contact.

9. Give them more compliments

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Another good way to slowly move yourself out of the friend zone and be considered as a potential romantic partner is to shower them with compliments. Humans want to feel good about themselves and the opinion of those they care about are the most important of all, so don’t hold back.

10. Offer them something new they haven’t experienced before

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If you want to grab someones attention and make them see you as more than just a friend, you need to break out of your comfort zone by showing them something new and exciting. This will set you aside from their other romantic interests and show you are willing to put in the effort.

11. Get some advice from others

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If you want to get out of the friend zone and make your way into the love zone, getting advice from other people around you could be the key to making this happen. They will be able to spill the secrets about what this person really thinks about you and tips on how to make your move.

12. Keep playing it cool

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One of the most important things to do is keep your cool…if you start to panic and try and scramble yourself out of the friend zone, you will only make things worse and push them further away. Not all hope is lost, you just have to keep up the facade that you’re not bothered.

13. Stop running errands for them

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Although you want this person to think you are reliable and helpful, if you keep running errands for them and doing everything they ask you will only fall deeper into the friend zone. You need to show them you can stand up for yourself so stop being available 24/7.

14. Show them how compatible you are

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If you’ve found yourself in the friend zone, there is a likelihood the other person thinks you are not compatible enough to be in a romantic relationship. You need to show them this is not the case and highlight all the things you have in common which would make you a great couple.

15. Use your friendship to your advantage

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If you are in the friend zone, you probably already have some of form relationship with this person which you can use to your advantage. Find out what they like and use this to get you in their good books, as it will show you are interested in them as a person.

16. Don’t rush into making your first move

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Moving out of the friend zone is not a quick process and you could ruin your chances in the long run if you act too fast. Make sure you build it up slowly rather than making your move out of the blue as this could freak them out if they’re caught off guard.

17. Identify the traits they look for in a partner

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If you want this person to consider you as a future romantic partner, you have to tick the boxes they are looking for. Make sure you find out the key qualities they value in a relationship and show them you possess these qualities so they don’t just see you as a friend.

18. Try and spend more time with them alone

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If you’re always spending time together with other people around in big groups, you’re not giving yourself the opportunity for them to get you know on a deeper level. Try and come up with a plan to spend some time with them alone so you can explore any potential romance.

19. Believe you are worthy of their affection

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It is easy to slip into the friend zone with no way out if you think you’re not good enough for them or there is no chance they would ever be in a relationship with you. Believing you are worthy of their affection is the first step to making your way on the right path.

20. Make them laugh

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The best way to win someone over is by making them laugh, as this will show off your great personality and charm them into thinking you could be a potential romantic interest. Show that person you have a good sense of humour and you don’t take life too seriously. 

21. Step up the eye contact and gestures of affection

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If you want to give off the right signals that you are interested in this person, make sure you are using more direct eye contact when you are speaking to them and throw in some affectionate gestures. You don’t want to go too overboard with the flirting, just subtle hints. 

22. Cut down on the texting

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The best way to get someones attention is to show them you’re not available. You want this person to anxiously wait for your message and get a rush of excitement when they finally hear from you, not be bombarded with a stream of constant messaging that will bore them.

23. Put more effort into your appearance

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There is no need to have a complete makeover, but people are more attracted to others who put some effort into their appearance and take care of themselves. Treat yourself to a hair cut or a new outfit, it will probably make you feel good about yourself too!

24. Be mysterious to keep them interested

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If you want to move out of the friend zone and become a potential romantic partner, you need to put some barriers up so you will seem more mysterious and spark their interest. You want to leave this person searching for more, not give them everything on a plate.

25. Don’t engage in friendly chats

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Although you want to keep up a constant stream of contact with this person so you don’t fall off their radar, be careful what conversations you end up in. You want to avoid the everyday chats about mundane topics of no interest as they will just categorise you as another ‘friend’.

26. Stop letting them treat you like their sibling

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This one might sound odd, but being in the friend zone can sometimes mean they view you as their siblings rather than a potential romantic partner. You might engage in banter and get into squabbles, but this isn’t always the sign of a budding romance…

27. Don't smother them with attention

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You might think the best way to impress someone and show them you like them is to smother them with attention and do everything they say, but this will actually put them off. It is unattractive when someone comes across as needy, so take a step back and cool off.

28. Show them respect

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One of the key things people value in relationships is respect, particularly if they think you would make a good partner in a relationship. So if you want to move away from the friendship box, show this person you respect them and value them as a person.

29. Try and make them jealous

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Although you need to be careful not to take this one too far, a little competition never hurt anyone! If you show this person that you have other romantic interests, it will make you seem more desirable and they make have a change of heart about just being ‘friends’.

30. Don’t always be so available

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Although you want to show this person you are reliable and are there to support them, if you always make yourself available you will slowly slip into becoming their ‘friend’ and not a potential romantic partner. Show them that you care, but don’t let them take advantage of you.

31. Make Sure You Understand What The Friend Zone Is

Image Source / verilymag.comBefore you go any further, make sure you fully understand what the friend zone is - in order to make sure there's no miscommunication and that you're actually in the friend zone in the first place. Only when you best know what your 'friend' situation is will you know the right steps to get out of it.

32. Flirt

Image Source / HealthShotsTest the waters: flirt. If you haven't already ever flirted with the person you're interested in, you may have got this idea that you're in the friend zone without actually pushing for anything more. Flirt and then see what happens - it might just give you an opening to the next step.

33. Or Just Ask Them Out Right

Image Source / LoveToKnowA lot of people who are in the friend zone may have even put themselves there without fully understanding what's going on, or misreading the signals. If you want a no messing way to potentially get out of the friend zone (and obviously this isn't guaranteed because they might not feel the same) just ask them if they do (or ever would) see you as more than a friend.

34. See What Their Reaction Is When Someone Says You're A Nice Couple

Image Source / Good HousekeepingIt happens all the time: two people who are just friends have to say 'oh no no!' and awkwardly laugh as someone compliments them as a couple without understanding that they're just friends. But you can tell a lot about the person you're interested in based on their reaction to this. Do they recoil in disgust, or laugh it off but look sort of warm and fuzzy about the mix up?

35. Trigger Their 'Hero Instinct'

Image Source / Metro UKMen really do want to provide something for their partner that they can't get elsewhere. They don't necessarily want to be a superhero, but just be a 'hero' to you by given you what you need. The trouble is, this 'hero instinct' often needs to be triggered. So if you're someone crushing on a guy and feeling as though you're stuck in the friend zone, trigger their hero instinct by putting yourselves in situations where you can use words and gestures to make them feel like they're 'your hero'.

36. Make Them See You In A Whole Different Light

Image Source / Slow DatingIf you're only ever spending time together in your joggers or pyjamas binge-watching Netflix and stuffing your faces with takeaway, you may have gotten into a routine that may not exactly scream 'romance'. You could try making them see you in a different light, like getting dressed up in formalwear or talking about hopes and dreams.

37. Try Going To New Places

Image Source / Gordan Ramsay RestaurantsIf you're also in a routine about what you do or where you go (like the same old coffee shop or spending time hanging out at each other's houses) you could try a change in environment to get the dating and/or relationship cogs turning. Try a more formal restaurant for an evening meal if you usually only ever grab morning coffee.

38. Make A Pact

Image Source / GenentechMany people actually do this these days with their friends - in that they make pacts like 'if we're not married by the time we're 40, we'll marry each other' simply as a platonic way to spend more companionable time together. Hey, it may just end up that you fall for each other anyway if you get married as mates!

39. Don't Look Too Desperate

Image Source / Brilliant Business ThingsYou can be there for someone - and show a romantic interest - without coming off as desperate. You don't need to reply their texts within 0.000001 seconds, and you don't need to compliment them every other minute. Just act interested, but not desperate.

40. Just Accept It

Image Source / Hope GrowsIt may sound like a hard pill to swallow, but at the end of the day, there's nothing you can do if the physical attraction or romantic side of things just isn't there. You can't force it - and it may still happen naturally, so it's better sometimes to just pull back!

41. Try Dating Other People

Image Source / MomJunctionWith the last point in mind, it might help you to go on dates with people you actually do have physical chemistry with. It may help you to feel differently about the 'friend zone' situation anyway, and understand what it's like to be with someone who you actually do have that romantic spark with.

42. Confidence Comes Over Anything Else

Image Source / InsperityThey've said they like sporty people with blonde hair, for example, so you're ready to hit the courts and have bought a pack of hair dye. But it doesn't work like that. Often, the only thing you need is confidence - you don't need to be the person they describe as their perfect soulmate, you just need to be exactly who you are but with confidence. So you should work on that first.

43. Take Some Time For Your Own Insecurities

Image Source / Child Foundation CenterBefore you can build your confidence, you first need to know what it is you're lacking confidence about. You might benefit from actually writing a list of your own insecurities, so that you can work through them point by point and decide what you can do to stop feeling insecure about certain aspects of yourself.

44. Take Up A Hobby That You Do Without Them

Image Source / TogglNot only is this going to be extremely helpful in letting you spend some time away from them and time learning more about yourself, it's also going to let them know that you don't have to do absolutely everything with them, and that you're independent enough to go it alone with your own interests sometimes.

45. Avoid Saying Anything Romantic When Drunk

Image Source / HealthlineIf you've decided that you'd like to outright tell them how you feel or make it obvious you're interested in a romantic fashion, it's probably not the best idea to do it drunk. If you've been friends for a while and suddenly start saying things like that after having some booze, they're probably just going to pass it off as you being drunk and won't take it seriously.

46. Make Sure You Have Your Life In A Secure Place

Image Source / Becoming MinimalistThis means decisions on a stable income, job choices, where you want to live, and what you want from life. Sometimes, it can be the case that a person (like your friend) is romantically interested in someone, but actually what's stopping them is big life decisions - like feeling weird about that person not having a job, not having any goals and not seeming like they'd be a very secure partner for a stable relationship.

47. Stop Sleeping Around (If You Do!)

Image Source / Everyday HealthIf you have a reputation for having a lot of casual flings, then the chances are that your friend - if they do have a romantic interest in you - will only ever worry that you'll see them as a quick fling, or perhaps that you don't want a relationship. If you make the effort to stop sleeping around casually and show them you're willing for something more serious, they may look at you differently.

48. Ask Your Exes For Feedback

Image Source / GlamourThis one of course depends on whether you're still on good terms with your exes, but if you are - and they broke up with you - you could always have a chat about why exactly it didn't work and why they didn't think you were long-term relationship material. This could help you to understand why your friend might not be seeing you in a romantic light.

49. Or, Ask Your Friend

Image Source / MindBodyGreenIf your friend has actively put you in the friendzone, you might be able to learn something from this. It takes a lot of courage but it could pay off; ask them, in a mature way, why they don't consider you a romantic partner. You might then learn something from this and grow.

50. Stop Putting So Much Focus On The 'Friend' Side

Image Source / WikipediaIt's very important to have a partner who is also your friend - who you can laugh with, and have similar interests. But if you're so familiar to the point of being absolute besties, the more focus you put on that, the harder it might become to be romantic partners. Instead of always putting focus on things that friends would, try something a bit different.