Signs You And Your Partner Are Growing In Different Directions

You're both on social media, like, all the time

Image Source/ FacebookIf you and your partner spend more time on Insta than you do together, you're on separate paths. You find yourself spending your quality time texting other people, looking through Tinder (you know who you are), and liking other people's Facebook posts. You don't do anything to demonstrate that you still find each other attractive.

You won't pay attention to them/they won't pay attention to you

Image Source/ WIREDIt can be quite easy to fall down this hole and sometimes we don't realise before it's too late. Do you catch yourself looking at others thinking "Wow, I'd rather be with them." Honey, have we got news for you... you're drifting, big time. End it before it's too late.

They're giving you that "it's not you, it's me" drivel

Image Source/ Flawless DetailingSometimes partners can do this before they're even trying to break up, they might just be planting the seed for when it happens. So if you're partner sits you don't with the whole "it's not you it's me" shmuck, run far and quick. That relationship is doomed.

Your friends tell you you're drifting apart

Image Source/ Episode ForumsFriends notice everything, and more often than not they notice more things than you do. So if you're friends start ringing the alarm bells, telling you that they can see you've drifted, listen to them. There's nothing more awful than an angsty bestie that hates your partner.

You find yourself giving them

that

look

Image Source/ ImgflipYou know the look; the rolling of the eyes, the grimace, the feeling of dread deep within your gut. Yep, that's the one. While it's normal to throw them that look now and then, especially when they deserve it, if you find yourself doing it every time their speak, that's a sign.

You never want to do favours for them, because why would you?

Image Source/ PlaybuzzYou're selfish. They need a lift to the garage to pick up their car? Sorry, I'm shopping. They need a ride to the hospital to see their dying relative? Getting my nails did that day, sorrrryyyy. Listen, if you're experiencing this, just end it. Make it quick.

They no longer please you

Image Source/ Meme ArsenalAnd no, I don't just mean in a sexual way. But their company as well. Just being sat with them doesn't please you like it used to. You don't look forward to seeing them. Date night feels like a chore now because when you're with them you're just thinking about home.

And you no longer please them

Image Source/ PinterestThis is a list about noticing the signs, and that means their signs too. Have they stopped laughing at your jokes? Stopped touching you in bed? Won't smile when you first see each other after a few days? They're floating away babe, and this is the Titanic.

You don't feel like you anymore

Image Source/ ImgflipYou feel like someone else, an impostor. What used to make you happy and thrilled doesn't anymore. Instead, you feel like an empty shell walking round waiting for the next best thing, and it doesn't come. Draining relationships can do this to your mind and body.

You agree on nothing (because they're always wrong, right?)

Image Source/ ImgflipWhile we all know that the partner is always in the wrong, it's best to sweep at least some of the disputes under the carpet. Like they say, choose your battles. But if you find yourself disagreeing with them (even when you don't) that's a big sign there.

What's sex? Never heard of her

Image Source/ ImgflipYou haven't been touched in weeks and every time you see each other nothing ever happens. It could be your doing or theirs, but for some reason, your sex life has just halted and you end up playing candy crush in bed rather than making love. Don't ignore the signs.

The perfect Saturday night has changed

Image Source/ FamilyMindedYou're perfect Saturday night used to be curled in bed, with a tub of Ben n Jerry's, a horror film on, pizza on it's way, snuggled next to your partner. Now it's being curled in bed, with a tub of Ben n Jerry's, a horror film on, pizza on it's way, but on you're own.

Everything your partner does annoys the hell out of you

Image Source/ ImgflipThey speak? Annoyed. They eat? Annoyed. They breathe? How dare you breathe like that in front of me. Believe it or not, these emotional, irrational responses can target our mental health, making us feel more irritable by the day. Cut the ties loose.

You'd sooner spend time with your besties

Image Source/ PinterestOf course, we all love a bit of one on one time with the bestie, they've been there since day one. But when you're actively avoiding your partner so you can cause havoc with your actual partner in crime, that's a sign. Think about what you're trying to avoid.

All you do is fight

Image Source/ ImgflipSome say fighting is healthy, but I guess it depends what over, how often and how intense. When people reach that brick wall in their relationship all they end up doing is arguing and fighting each other. Beware the signs and end it before it gets to this point.

You don't show each other any affection

Image Source/ ImgflipYou used to hold each other's hands, kiss each other's heads, tell each other you look beautiful, buy flowers and chocolates, and cook nice heartily meals. Now, there's none of that. No more niceties. Just cold and distant company. Eek, that's not good.

You're seeking answers

Image Source/ ImgflipYou're confused about why your relationship is working out this way and you trying to seek answers. Sometimes, we even go to extremes like substance abuse (which is a whole other issue in itself). Some people go for psychic readings, they want someone to tell them what to do.

They never show you emotional intimacy

Image Source/ ImgflipSometimes you just need someone to give you that emotional intimacy, to be in touch with your emotions and support you in the best way, yet they're not doing it. And maybe you're guilty of not giving it them either. It's an early sign, but a sign of drifting still.

You're scared of marriage and kids talk (and rightly so tbf)

Image Source/ ImgflipThat marriage and kids and house buying talk has you shook. It has your heart racing, palms sweating, sick feeling in your stomach. You shouldn't feel like that about someone who you "want" to spend the rest of your time with. It'll turn out bad in the end.

You take them for granted

Image Source/ ImgflipEven though they might be doing things for you, or supporting you, you take them for granted anyway because deep down you just don't care. It doesn't make you a bad person, we can just end up like this eventually. It all comes out in the wash though.

They take you for granted too

Image Source/ ImgflipSimilar to the above, they take your kindness and generosity for granted too. You might notice that they never look grateful for the things you do, and you should deffo address it if it's bothering you. Maybe you could work things out, maybe it's the end.

Your body is changing

Image Source/ imgflipLiving through an emotionally draining relationship takes its toll on us and our bodies. Listen to what your body is telling you, do you have aches, pains and migraines? Are you putting on or losing lots of weight rapidly? Have a look at your relationship.

You hardly see them anymore (and you're not bothered!)

Image Source/ HelloGigglesYou never see them anymore whether it be you that's busy or them, and you're absolutely not bothered either. You would much prefer to spend the day in bed (like our Kim K up there) than get ready and meet them out for some dinner. You shouldn't have to feel like that!

You've stopped sharing your things

Image Source/ Meme ArsenalYou just can't stand it when they start using your things now. Before, you would've shared anything. Razor? You got it. Toothbrush? Go for it. Bath water? Okay, maybe that's a bit too far. But now, they even pick up you special soup spoon and you're ready to fight.

You feel lonely even when you're with them

Image Source/ ImgFlipEven though they're sat across the table or lay in bed with you, you can't help but feel lonely. This might be a sign that the relationship is starting to drift, your souls are parting away from each other and you can't seem to satisfy one another in the relationship.

You're suspicious...

Image Source/ ImgflipYou're suspicious of them, even though they're doing nothing wrong. You might think they're cheating, or lying, or hurting you somehow. But quite often in these circumstances it's us trying to figure out a way to end the relationship, with a "good enough" reason.

You stop imagining them in your future

Image Source/ PinterestYour future used to be growing old with them, raising children, buying a holiday home in the Maldives, growing your own vegetable patch. But now, you just imagine yourself as the crazy cat lady, old, confused and afraid. End it before it gets too late.

They can't support you like they used to

Image Source/ ImgflipThey used to be supportive of all your endeavours, all the things you did well in life. Whether it be a new career path or some great mom jeans you picked up from the thrift store, they supported your decisions. Now, though, they don't support anything.

You'd sooner be at work than with them (I know, a scary thought)

Image Source/ ImgFlipThis might even be the biggest sign there is on this list. You know it's gotten bad when you actually prefer to be at work than sat beside them. Yep, at that dingy call centre or dirty coffee shop. Listen, this is not a good sign. Get out now while you can.

Your senses are telling you the truth...

Image Source/ ImgFlipListen to your spidey senses, Peter Parker. Nobody knows your relationship like you do and you should listen to what your gut and mind are telling you. Does something not feel right? Approach your partner about it. Be honest, be sensible and be smart.

You're Both Always Bailing On Plans

Image Source / Women's HealthMaybe you're making the plans in the first place as some last ditch attempt to reconnect or hold on to what you have even though you both know neither of you are bothered. And then when it comes to crunch time, one of you bails and the other pretends to be annoyed but is actually secretly glad they don't have to go through with it.

Those Cliched Clichés Start To Be Thrown About To Describe Your Relationship

Image Source / Salon.comOnce upon a time, you might have had arguments where you actually get down to the truth of things, or speak about how important it is to make up. Now, you might start hearing - or saying them yourself - cliches from your partner's mouth to describe what you have, like "maybe this just isn't working" or "maybe this just isn't mean to be".

They Never Ask About Your Day - And You Don't Care About Theirs

Image Source / wikiHowSometimes asking doesn't mean it's any better if they actually don't care about the answer, so sometimes it might be better to be brutally honest and not ask at all instead of pretending you care. But you can't remember the last time they asked how your day was - and you can't remember the last time you ask about theirs, or even cared.

Date Night Who?

Image Source / Women's HealthBeing in a successful relationship isn't as black and white as 'you either have a date night or you break up', but it's worth noting if you no longer spend any time together in that way or even make the effort to set up an official date night every once in a while. It's just a sign that your schedules are pulling you in opposite directions.

Or, If You Do Go Out, It's Only Ever With Other People

Image Source / YPulse This could be for a few different reasons. Maybe the thought of going out alone together is too off-putting so you have to have someone else there to fill the silences. Or, either you or your partner - or both - want to go out with other people but want to give the illusion you're still in a happy relationship, so you always go out together.

You've Stopped Making Any Plans For The Future

Image Source / HuffPost UKThis doesn't even mean the huge things like marriage or kids. This could be as simple as 'want to go to this show next month?'. You don't make any future plans because you just don't care - you're living moment to moment but the idea of paying for an event or committing to an event a few months down the line just gives you the icks.

The Defensive Comebacks Have Begun

Image Source / Shortform When people start to pull back from relationships, or when their partner is annoying the heck out of them, it can trigger the defensive mode. Suddenly you're not the problem so anything negative they have to say makes you feel defensive. Any arguments now are probably responded to by both of you sticking by your guns and defending yourselves - perhaps too much.

They Seem To Be Living In Cloud Cuckoo Land

Image Source / Healthline You talk to them about anything, or ask them something, and they might not even notice you've spoken. Every time you approach them it's like you're snapping them out of a daydream and they're a million miles away. It just shows they're thinking of anything but you when they're with you - maybe even daydreaming about something else to cope.Image Source / InsideHook Once upon a time you may have had entire full conversations! Your texts might have been a page long, or maybe you could talk way into the night. Now, communication just seems to be getting cut into shorter and shorter chunks. It's like a competition for who can send the shortest reply in a message, or who can answer a question with "fine" the most.Image Source / CNNRelationships won't be sunshine and rainbows all the time, but if you're both the biggest grumps you can be every second you spend time together, even if you're not arguing or you've necessarily said anything wrong, it's just a sign that it's the last place you both want to be and you're not too happy about it.While not having sex at all any more is a key sign, still having sex sometimes still doesn't mean the pair of you are on the same wavelength. You might just be going through the motions, or maybe you are still attracted to each other and have good sex, but the problem is when it feels detached. If sex suddenly feels less sweet than it used to, as though it's something robotic - and even worse if there's no kissing or cuddling.

Your Partner Doesn't Ask For Your Opinion, And You Don't Ask For Theirs

Image Source / LearntalkOne of the key things of being in a relationship is asking for your partner's opinion, whether it's down to what shirt to wear, or whether to take an important promotion. Valuing each other's opinion is key - but if your partner doesn't ask for yours anymore, and vice versa, you obviously aren't taking each other's viewpoint into account any longer.

You Only See Them Laugh And Be Happy With Friends

Image Source / Medical News Today If your party is suddenly feeling detached and not being very happy around you, you might have thought they're just having a bad day or it's something affecting their general mood. But then next minute you see them laughing their head off in the pub with their group of mates. They're obviously only happy anywhere that isn't with you.

You're Both Flirting With Other People

Image Source / HealthShotsThere is the "is flirting cheating?" debate so this depends whether you've always been a couple that didn't mind a bit of flirting anyway, but this now all depends on the intent behind the flirting. If your relationship is in a bad way and you can't remember the last time you laughed or flirted with each other, only to both go off and flirt with everyone you meet, it's a bit of a red flag. When you're in love with someone, you can easily see things through rose-tinted glasses, like 'oh I love the way they eat really loudly' or 'I don't mind their smelly farts'. The most unique personality traits from the beginning of your relationship may have been a quirky turn on back in the day, like they loved the way you had a goofy laugh. But now, all those 'quirky' things are suddenly the things they hate most about you - and vice versa.

They've Actually Told You That You Deserve Better

Image Source / The Eternity RoseMaybe they've actually realised that you're drifting apart and that they're on a different path to you, but they still care and they feel bad about it. So they've upfront said to you that you deserve better than what they can give you. This isn't some false modesty of a loving partner who's thinking 'oh why are you with me, you could do better' - this is them saying 'you deserve better because this probably won't work'.

Affection Is Now A Dirty Word

Image Source / ASU Knowledge Enterprise Anything that shouts 'affection', especially in public, is now a huge no-no. Telling you they love you in public? Nope. Holding your hand in public? Nah. GivinFg you a compliment or just sitting close to you? Hard pass. Affection just doesn't seem to exist in your orbit any more, and it may even be bad as physical repulsion at the very thought.

They Get Weird About Taking And/Or Posting Photos Of You Together

Image Source / PinterestA lot of new couples will spam their social media with cute snaps of them together, and it's a sign something's off if they suddenly don't want those photos out there. Taking photos and/or posting them online makes it seem a whole lot more real, like there's physical evidence of you being together. If they're thinking about pulling away from the relationship, it's pointless in their eyes why you'd take photos you'll have to delete anyway.

Their Friends Have Become Distant

Image Source / Thought CatalogThis is a telltale sign that your partner has been speaking their relationship woes to their friends - or, they've just straight up told them that they don't see the relationship lasting. So if his friends are suddenly becoming distant, it could be because they know what's going to happen and don't want to become attached or make that extra effort with you.