If Your Partner Does Any Of These Things Then It’s Time To Leave

By Lauren Mccluskey 1 year ago

1. They constantly belittle or criticize you

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You might not notice it at first, but it might be time to leave if you begin to realize that your partner makes a habit out of constantly belittling or criticizing you.  This could be for anything you do as well, from criticizing your views and opinions all the way to making fun of your hobbies and interests.

2. They isolate you

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You might find that your partner is the only person you seem to hang out with nowadays.  This is because they've slowly and gradually isolated you away from your friends and family.  So it might be time to leave and reach out again to your loved ones, they'll still be there for you when you're ready.

3. They cheat

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Your partner might also have a history of infidelity and cheating, and although you've given them a chance to redeem themselves and make up for their past mistakes (we're all human, right?), their cheating might have crept into your relationship with them.  And if they betray your trust after you've taken a chance on them, then that might be a sign that it's not going to work in the long run.

4. They're jealous and possessive of you

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When we're in a relationship, there's that element of compromise and consideration for our partner.  But if you find yourself feeling crowded by them, and constantly made to feel guilty for having your own interests, friendship group, and routines, then it's probably worth considering putting an end to it before you stop doing and being with everything and every one your love.

5. They have addictive behaviors

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Your partner might display addictive behaviors, such as gambling. And although you have all of the good intentions in the world of supporting them, and perhaps helping them through their addiction, if they're not ready to address it, it can certainly do you more harm than good.

6. They make you feel guilty

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If you're feeling guilty all the time because you're thinking about your partner, then maybe this is exactly their intention.  In some relationships, one partner can make the other one feel guilty for hanging out with other people, pursuing their own ambitions or hobbies, or even making them feel guilty for their own negative emotions.

7. They refuse to compromise

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All relationships are about compromise.  That goes without saying.  But if your partner refuses to budge from what they want to do, or eat for dinner, or where to go, or even how to decorate, then it might be time to call it a day.  You're never going to change their mind on anything and staying with the risks you losing some of your own identity.

8. They're aggressive

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A sure sign that it's time to leave, is when your partner is verbally or physically aggressive.  These are definite signs of an abusive and toxic relationship that shouldn't carry on.  At least without them getting help and support for their anger management issues.  If you're feeling in danger, you should seek help from professionals, or even friends and family to support you in leaving.

9. They blame others for their problems

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Another sign that the relationship has probably run its course is if your partner cannot take any responsibility for their own problems.  They might absolutely refuse to address their issues and continue to blame others for everything that might not be going to plan in their life.

10. They have a criminal or violent past

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Your partner may or may not have a criminal or violent past.  And it's important to point out that word: past... This is because people can and do have the ability to rehabilitate and make up for mistakes they have made in the past.  But it might be time to leave if they didn't learn and begin to display these behaviors again.

11. They're manipulative and deceitful

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You might notice that they're incredibly manipulative of you and others and they get by lying and deceiving people.  And you just find that you can trust them at all, which will no doubt make you feel constantly on edge and you might also feel constantly betrayed.  This is not going to do you any good and might start to lower your self-esteem.

12. They're financially irresponsible

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When you're in a relationship, after a while, you might become financially linked, especially if you're living together and making joint purchases.  So if they're completely financially irresponsible, they might bring you down with them.  And the worse thing is, you might not even know about the loans and purchases applied for and made in your name.

13. They have extreme moods

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If you spend your life feeling like you're walking on eggshells around your partner, you're probably doing yourself more harm than good.  One minute they're completely elated with a huge amount of energy, and the next they're moping around, unable to snap themselves out of their lowness.  You can choose to support them during periods of extreme mood swings but it's going to be exhausting!

14. They're incredibly materialistic

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If you find yourself coming last in the pecking order behind their material
things,
then it's probably time to call it quits.  You might have experienced your partner's wrath when you've done as little as place your pinky on one of their precious guitars.  And no, it's not because they're passionate, they're overly materialistic and completely unreasonable.

15. They never keep promises

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You might also find that they're completely useless when it comes to them fulfilling their promises and making commitments.  And the thing is, you are supposed to be able to rely upon your partner and equally, they can rely on you.  So if you can't, then that's certainly a sign of a doomed relationship.

16. They're emotionally distant

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You might never know what they're really thinking or truly feeling.  They keep you guessing all the time and make you feel guilty for not being able to read them.  If your partner is completely emotionally distant and they refuse to share anything with you, the relationship probably feels like you're flogging a dead horse and it's probably time to flee.

17. They control your life

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Perhaps you're feeling like you've completely lost your independence, or you're gradually feeling more and more restricted in your life.  That's because you might be in a controlling relationship where your partner is aiming to make you completely reliant on them for everything.

18. They make inappropriate comments or exhibit inappropriate behavior

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As time passes, you might start to believe that your views and ethics don't align at all.  In fact, you might find yourself offended by their inappropriate comments and embarrassed by their inappropriate behavior, particularly towards marginalized groups of people.

19. They withhold affection

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To make you feel even worse and starved for attention and support, they might even withhold their affection from you.  This can only be described as a cruel and deliberate attempt at making you feel unworthy of love and compassion unless you fit into the mold they've made for you.

20. They refuse to address their mental health

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Many people experience issues with their mental health, and at some point in their lives, everyone will experience difficulties.  But if they absolutely refuse to address or open up about any issues they're experiencing with their mental health, this can be detrimental to the relationship

21. They criticize your appearance

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A major red flag for any relationship is when a partner finds faults in your appearance.  This can range from anything including making fun of your choice of clothing to criticizing your weight.  And the thing is, this cruelty can give you a real complex and insecurities about the way to look.

22. They gaslight you

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If they make you question your memory and your perception of reality, they're gaslighting you and this is a huge sign that you should throw in the towel now before it gets worse.  You see, over time this can make you seem smaller and smaller so you stop trying to have an opinion, and eventually, everything you know and remember is from their mouths, not yours.

23. They pressure you to change your physical appearance

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One thing you definitely need to know if that your physical appearance is down to you, not them.  And one really toxic trait of a terrible partner is when they start making sly digs at how you look and start making suggestions (that may turn into demands) about how you can change your appearance including losing weight, having a haircut, and even what you wear.

24. They don't let you have any input in important decision-making

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When they're in control of the relationship and of your life, one clear sign is that they don't let you have any input in your own or joint decision-making.  You have to remember that your decisions affect you so it is important that you make the best decision for your own well-being and call it a day on the relationship before you lose yourself.

25. They're emotionally unavailable

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You might be so desperate for them to acknowledge your feelings and respond to your emotions, but they never do.  And you find it completely impossible to make a deep emotional connection with them because they're completely emotionally unavailable to you.

26. They never show empathy or compassion toward you

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If it's time to leave, you might have noticed that your partner is completely incapable of showing you any empathy whatsoever.  In fact, you feel completely ignored by the lack of compassion you receive from them and you might not feel like they understand you or what you need in the slightest.

27. They hate to see you succeed

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When you succeed, they absolutely cannot stand it.  It's all about them, not you, and if you ever step into the limelight with your success, they try to steal it away from you in an attempt to take center stage themselves.  And maybe, just maybe, they begin to feel a little smaller and less significant when you achieve.

28. They downplay your achievements

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If they downplay your achievements, this is a sure sign of jealousy and it's very clear that they're massively threatened by your success.  And because of this, they might begin to feel like they're losing their control of your life so they attempt to lower your self-esteem by knocking you down a peg or two.

29. They blame you for their negative emotions

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And if they feel bad, it's all your fault.  They want you to feel completely responsible for their terrible moods as if you're the one who caused them.  And perhaps it's all in an attempt to get you to dote upon them and always consider them before doing anything yourself.

30. They're insensitive to your needs and feelings

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It is probably time to leave if you feel unfulfilled, unhappy, unconsidered, or unimportant, in any way.  You might feel like you do everything for them, consider their feelings, and you're just getting nothing in return.  They're completely insensitive to your feelings and you might not feel you're getting what you need from this relationship.

31. They turn to other people for emotional support

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When you're in a happy relationship, you should be turning to each other for that much-needed emotional support. And, importantly, your partner should want to do that. Have you found out that they go to someone else for emotional support instead? A co-worker or a friend?

32. They try to imply you're stupid

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Worse than outright saying you're stupid - which is bad enough - do they constantly try to put you down and imply that you're an idiot? They may drop subtle hints, or act like they're the intelligent one, as well as stopping you from doing things because they think you're 'too stupid' to succeed.

33. They don't believe 'no' is a full sentence

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They don't take it on board when you say no. If you say no, they have to question it 10 more times, or try to convince you otherwise. They then might angry if you still say no. They don't respect whenever you say no, no matter what it is, even something as small as wanting a dessert or not in a restaurant.

34. They've made it clear they only value you for one thing

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This doesn't necessarily have to be your looks or body, though those of course are obvious ones. They might only be with you for 'one thing' that they can use to their advantage, which could be your influence, your friends, your job or your money. Maybe they're even using you to live with you because of a house you own or rent.

35. They never, ever positively influence you

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Your partner should bring out the best in you, but it's not just that. When a healthy, happy couple spends a lot of time together, it's easy to pick up on their good habits, their way of speaking or be positively influenced by their routine. If this never, ever happens, it's not a good sign!

36. But they definitely negatively influence you!

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On the flip side, you may have noticed that they only way they've ever influenced you is actually in a negative way. In terms of picking up on their habits, you may have turned to a ton of bad ones because of spending time with them. Or maybe even spending time with them has driven you to want to drink or smoke and escape it all.

37. They make you feel paranoid about your body

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You should always feel comfortable with your body around your partner. You can still have insecurities in a healthy relationship, but what matters is how they make you feel about it. Are they always dropping hints that they don't like something about you, or about the way your body looks?

38. They've broken up with you and got back together numerous times

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It's never a good sign when someone is constantly breaking up with you and then making up again. Sure, some couples can have this happen and it can make them stronger. But if it happens several times, it can be a sign they're just dropping you and picking you back up whenever it suits them.

39. They make you do things you're ashamed of

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You should never do anything you're ashamed of at the whims of your partner, so it's worrying if their influence over you is making you do things you're not proud of. Maybe they've told you to dress a certain way, say certain things, or you're just ashamed of the person you are around them.

40. They dismiss what you're afraid of

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We all have strange or irrational fears, and even if your partner doesn't quite understand them, they should never dismiss them. The biggest sign of disrespect is when they purposefully put you in situations you're scared of. You tell them you're afraid of heights and they take you on a surprise hike up the highest mountain you've ever seen.

41. They include you in their dishonest behavior

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Not only is them being dishonest a red flag in itself, but do they pull you into all their lies? Do they tell other people they couldn't make it because you told them not to go, or that they need to stay in when you're ill? Do you find people asking you about stuff you didn't even know had happened but you have to play along?

42. You actually feel worse about yourself

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You've realized you feel worse about yourself since getting together with them, and every day that passes they seem to make you feel worse and worse. This can happen after a variety of things, day in day out, like being belittled, being ignored or being worried about the relationship.

43. You don't feel like you can get/hold their attention

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Do you feel like it's a constant battle to hold their attention, like they get bored within 0.001 seconds of a story you're telling them? Maybe it's a struggle even to get their attention in the first place? They should want to listen to you, and it should never be a chore to get them to pay attention to you.

44. They mock you

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There's a difference between playful banter in a healthy relationship, and one-sided mocking from your partner. You should never be mocked by someone who supposedly cares about you, because it just shows a lack of respect - especially if it's mocking something you feel sensitive about.

45. You don't think they'd keep a secret

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Trust is one of the most - if not
the
most - important things in a relationship, and trust isn't just about whether you think they'd cheat on you or not. You also need to trust that a partner will keep your secrets, or respect anything that you'd asked them to keep between you.

46. They make jokes about leaving you

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It's never funny when a partner makes a joke about leaving you, especially if they do it in front of other people like joking that you're going to get dumped or on your way to the divorce courts as a 'joke' - and then say that they didn't mean it afterwards when you look upset.

47. It's out of sight, out of mind when it comes to you

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Relationships can go one of two ways: absence makes the heart grow fonder, and out of sight out of mind. If the latter, this is something to worry about. You can see signs of this if your partner is all lovey-dovey when you're together - 'yes of course I'll text you when I'm out later!' - and then they forget you exist as soon as they're out the door.

48. It's their way or the highway

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You should never be given ultimatums in a happy relationship, and especially not forcing you into something you don't agree with. Compromise is important, so if they have a 'it's my way or the highway' attitude about every little thing, this isn't a partner you want in your life.

49. You worry about how supportive they would be in bad circumstances

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Maybe your partner has been showing certain subtle signs that they're not very good in bad circumstances, or not very supportive. They might do the bare minimum and you're starting to wonder how much you'd actually be able to rely on them in bad circumstances, like if you lost your job or if you had an injury.

50. They jeopardize your hobbies and interests

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A partner doesn't have to share or understand your hobbies - but they do have to respect them. It's one thing to belittle your hobbies, but do they actually jeopardise them? Maybe you rely on them for a lift to the hobby class and they tell you they forgot at the last minute. Or you ask them to take delivery of some supplies you need and they refuse.

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