Single Mom Reveals The Main Struggles Of Raising A Child

1. Trying to make ends meet

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The average family income for a dual-parent household is around $101,560. Want to guess what it is for a single mom? Just $32,586. So, no wonder most single moms say they struggle to keep up with food cost, rent, and saving up for Christmas and birthdays. But this is one of the biggest struggles single moms will face.

2. Feeling unfulfilled

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As a single mom, you really have to make an effort to get any time to yourself. Your life essentially revolves around your kid (or kids), and all that time spent caring for someone else can easily lead single moms to feel unfulfilled in their own life. Too often, single moms have to give up on their own dreams to oversee raising their child.

3. And getting feelings of anxiety or depression

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Anxiety and depression are really common among single moms, and no wonder. When you're spending every waking minute looking after a little one, barely getting anytime to yourself, and worrying about being responsible for your kid's life - it's natural to start feeling intensely anxious or even depressed.

4. Sorting out co-parenting arrangements

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If the father is still in the picture, then single moms not only have to spend time caring for their kids but also arranging when the father is going to see his kids. If things didn't end well and there are court dates involved, this can be even more stressful (and, at times, humiliating.)

5. Being unable to take time off work

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The endless struggle for single moms is being the only person available to care for the child and also being the sole person responsible for the household income. The pressure to keep earning (even if you're barely earning enough to keep buying clothes and food for your kid) is strong, which means days off work, even sick days, are impossible.

6. But simultaneously needing to be available for childcare

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What do you do when you have to work to earn enough money to raise your kid but also need to be there for 3pm school pick ups and the inevitable time when your kid is sick? While some single moms are lucky to still have a father, parents, or grandparents in the picture, some people have to figure it out on their own.

7. Never getting a break from tantrums

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Terrible twos, threenagers... the life of a child is filled with a lot of crying and tantrums. With two parents available to share these meltdowns, it's almost possible to get through it without going crazy, but as a single mom, you've got to bear the full weight of shouting and screaming - and all that can take its toll if you can't get a break now and again.

8. Dealing with the social stigma

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It's 2023, and single moms still have to deal with embarrassing questions from neighbours, parents, grandparents, and friends about being a single mom. So, where's the father? Are you going to get married soon? These kind of questions reinforce the stereotype that being a single mom is inherently worse than parenting as a couple, and that stigma can ruin single moms.

9. Not having anyone to ask for help

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While some single moms will benefit from having close friends and family who are there for them in difficult moments, some won't. Plus, spending all your time caring for your children means it's harder to make friends socially. That can be hard when you really desperately need childcare, like in an emergency.

10. The guilt of not having enough time for them

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There are only 24 hours in the day, and with pressure to make money to keep the household going, moms don't actually have enough time with their children as they might wish. For single moms, this is even worse, as they also have to take on all the household chores that another half of a couple could oversee sometimes.

11. Feeling the pressure of making mistakes

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With just one parent in the picture, it can be easy to feel that you've got a huge responsibility for raising your kids perfectly. After all, if they fail school or take the wrong path in life, that would be your fault, wouldn't it? This pressure to keep everything perfect when it comes to raising kids can be another huge struggle for single moms.

12. And wanting everything to be perfect

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If a father is out of the picture permanently, this can have a grave impact on children growing up. Whether they walked out or sadly passed away, a child knows when they're growing up without a father. As a result, many single moms feel pressure to make everything perfect for them. They need to have the best holidays, the best toys, to make up for that loss.

13. The struggle to discipline children

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With two people in a relationship, it's easy to share disciplining arrangements for children. For example, in serious circumstances, you can present a united front to your children to remind them that what they did was wrong. With just one parent, this becomes more difficult, and kids can thus become more badly-behaved because they think they can get away with it with just mom around.

14. Fatigue from trying to do it all

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The stress of working and raising a child can get to anyone, but for single moms, the risk of experiencing serious fatigue is really high. When you're trying to do everything - and get very little time to explore things you want to do - it's normal to burn out at some point.

15. Feeling too much responsibility

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It's not just the pressure of making mistakes that single moms feel - it's that responsibility to be the sole teacher to your children. This responsibility can make single moms fearful and anxious about the future, and the weight of being a carer for 16-18 years of your child's life.

16. Hearing people's misconceptions about single mom life

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Not everyone understands single moms - the battles they face every day, the reasons they might be raising children alone, by choice or not. Single moms carry these misconceptions around with them all the time as they try to raise their child, and these can become a burden.

17. Not having time for a social life

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Friends are so important in life, but single moms find it harder than most to make new friends. This is especially true if you've recently moved somewhere new with your children to start a new life, as there's often just no time to join clubs or head out to meet someone if you've got children to care for.

18. Bearing the burden of hard decisions

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Parents have to make hundreds of difficult decisions a week as they raise children. When to discipline, what to feed them, what toys to buy, what kind of discipline to enforce. As a single mom, you're the sole bearer of these hard decisions, meaning the consequence of the decision is entirely yours - there's no-one to go to for advice or share the burden.

19. Worrying about the effect of their family set-up on your child

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Being a single parent isn't inherently worse than being part of a dual-parent household. But social stigma says otherwise. So, it's common for single moms to worry about how their children will grow up in a single parent household, and whether this will harm them in some way.

20. There's no back-up plan

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Say there's an emergency. Maybe you need to get to the hospital for an operation, or you need to travel to support your parent. In these unexpected situations, single parents very often don't have a back-up plan - there's no-one they can call up on the spur of the moment to look after the kids. Living without a back up plan can cause huge stress.

21. Your whole life revolves around your kids

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As a single mom you're solely responsible for raising your kids. Your entire life, morning until night, revolves around getting them up, feeding them, making sure they have fun, and getting them to sleep again. But with every day the same more or less, this can be a really heavy burden for single moms.

22. Getting no help with chores or other admin tasks

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Raising a child can be incredibly rewarding - it's why single moms never give up even when it gets hard. But all those other tasks? The boring admin, the laundry, the cleaning? It's too easy to leave those to the side when you're tired and maybe just want to spend an extra hour or two playing with your child.

23. Late nights become the norm

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There's really only one time where single moms gets some blissful quiet hours to themselves, and that's when the children have gone to bed. Even though you know you should get an early night as well, nights become the time to accomplish what you really want to do, whether that's binging a new Netflix show, reading, or spending a few hours on a side hustle.

24. You have to keep going no matter what

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You can't just ditch everything as a single mom and spend a few days away from everything at a spa in the middle of nowhere - even if that's what you really want to do. You must be there for your children 24/7. This inability to stop, take a second, have time off, is a massive struggle for single moms everywhere.

25. Not being able to explain what it's like being a single mom

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Nobody but single moms know what it's like to be a single mom. It's just not something you can explain to people who have a partner on-hand to help them with life and raising kids. So, many single moms don't talk about their fears and worst feelings because they know that people won't understand. However, always remember that bottling it up is worse.

26. Missing those special moments

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In a dual-parent household, at least one parent is on-hand for those special moments, if not both partners. The first school play, first steps... so many single moms miss these moments because they know they need to work in order to give their kids the life they need.

27. The constant feeling of failure

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Failure is a part of life, but it's more than that for a single mom. They have the responsibility of caring for kids on their own, and this means that the stakes are always higher than for two-parent households. Feeling like you're on the brink of losing your job, failing your kids, and failing your entire life is real.

28. Never getting a break from your running thoughts

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Raising kids alone means you're always doing something, and your to-do list is probably as long as your arm. You're never finished - it's an endless cycle of laundry, and cooking, and changing diapers, and cleaning up. With no time to stop and relax, those running thoughts can easily get the better of single moms.

29. Feeling alone all the time

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A house can get pretty quiet once the kids have gone to bed. And after that, who do you have to talk to? With no partner in the picture, single moms are more prone to loneliness, and this can be even worse if they life a long way from family or old friends. With no-one to share worries or just everyday thoughts with, loneliness can easily change into anxiety or depression.

30. Worrying about what other people think

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We're always told not to worry what people think of us, but it's a lot harder than that. Especially for single moms, who have to worry about being judged when they're out at a restaurant or cafe or travelling. As soon as your kid starts crying, and you struggle to relax them, single moms can start wondering what other people think of them, and worrying that they're not a good mom.