Subtle Signs Someone Is A Secret Hater

By Molly 1 year ago

1. Avoiding or ignoring you

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Perhaps the most obvious way to deal with a dislike towards someone is to avoid or ignore them. So, if you've noticed a particular person always seems to be keeping you at arms length, one of the reasons might be that they're hating on you. I mean, there could be other reasons such as being busy or shy. But, if this same person seems pretty consistent in their avoidance of you, it might be best to just leave them alone. Forcing them to spend time with you or pay you attention is likely to cause conflict and worsen the situation.

2. Giving you cold or distant looks

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Does this person always seem to be giving you the daggers? If they're frequently shooting you these cold looks, there could be a few reasons as to why they're doing this. However, most of them point to a dislike for you! They could be trying to send you a message, letting you know that they don't like you without having to confront you directly. Another reason is they could be trying to intimidate you or make you feel small. They might want to make you feel uncomfortable and show that they're in control.

3. Frequently interrupting or talking over you

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There's not a lot of things worse than being constantly interrupted or talked over when you're trying to speak. It can be seriously frustrating. This is especially irritating when it's always the same person doing this to you! They could be doing this solely to get at you, trying to provoke you and get a reaction. Or, they might simply not want to listen to what you have to say, feeling that their contributions are far more important than yours. If someone is dong this to you, try and set some boundaries. You could say "please let me finish" or, "excuse me, I wasn't finished".

4. Using dismissive or condescending tones

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Have you noticed that they are always talking to you with a dismissive or condescending tone? Try to take notice of how they speak to other people. If they're talking to everybody like this, then it's likely that they are simply a rude person and a bad communicator. However, if you've noticed that it always seems to be you that is taking the brunt of their unpleasant tones, then it might have something to do with the way that they feel towards you. They could be doing this to make themselves feel superior, to belittle you or to provoke you.

5. Rarely engaging in friendly interactions with you

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There's a number of different reasons why somebody who holds some hatred for you wouldn't want to engage in friendly interactions with you. Think about it, if you didn't like someone, why would you want to engage in friendly chat with them? If you don't enjoy their company, it would seem like a waste of time, right? Another reason is if they were really out to get you, they might be doing this as a way of punishing you and trying to make you feel excluded. If every interaction with this person feels transactional or confrontational, it's likely a sign that something is up.

6. Refusing to acknowledge your presence or achievements

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Now, I know "they're only doing it because they're jealous of you" seems like something that moms say just to make you feel better. But, there is sometimes some truth in it! One common reason for a person to hate somebody else is because they feel threatened or jealous of them. If this person is refusing to acknowledge your presence or achievements, it points to the fact they may be jealous of you. Maybe they're trying to downplay your success or make themselves feel better by simply ignoring your achievements.

7. Making sarcastic or snide remarks directed at you

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If there's somebody who's always directing snide, nasty comments towards you, it's time to set some boundaries. Either they're simply not a nice person, in which case their behaviour needs to be corrected. Or, they're victimising you, in which case standing up for yourself may stop this from happening and maybe will even earn you some respect from this individual. Their comments could be to try and make you feel embarrassed or small. So, you could walk away from the person or say something like "I don't appreciate your sarcastic comments".

8. Spreading rumors or gossip about you

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I'm sure we can all relate to being involved in some kind of rumor or gossip before. It's not a nice feeling and it can really get to you! If you feel like somebody has been spreading the information maliciously to victimise you, then they probably don't like you and they're trying to get others to dislike you, too. In this case, it's best to rise above it and try not to get sucked into the drama. After all, that's probably what they want. The truth usually comes out and people often get bored and will move onto the next hot topic soon enough.

9. Excluding you from social events or gatherings

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It's not nice when you're excluded from a group. It can make you question what's wrong with you, impacting your confidence and self-esteem. But, it's important to remember that if it seems to be the same person leaving you out, their actions likely have more to do with them than they do with you. For example, this could be their way of gaining power over you, if they have insecure feelings of their own. They could dislike you because they feel threatened by you for whatever reason. If you feel able to, you could confront them about their behavior and the way that it's making you feel.

10. Constantly criticizing or belittling you

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This could be in regards to your ideas, opinions or even your actions. If every time you bring an idea forward, this person is shooting you down, then they're likely to be hating on you. If they're always having to criticize the way you have chosen to do something, for example a project at work, then they might be trying to bring you down. If you're able to rise above this and not let their words get to you, then you can do just this. Once they realise their words aren't having an impact on you, they might stop.

11. Lacking interest or concern when you share something important to you

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Let’s be honest, if somebody holds some hatred for you, then it’s unlikely that they’re going to be interested in very much of what you’ve got to say. So, if you’ve noticed that whenever you share something important to you, this person displays a blatant lack of interest or any concern whatsoever, it’s because they don’t care about you. I know this sounds blunt, but it’s usually the reason. Of course, they could just have a lot going on in their own lives or be uninterested in the specific topic you’ve brought up.

12. Refusing to cooperate or collaborate with you on projects or tasks

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This point will probably apply to those of you reading who suspect that the hater is a colleague of yours. If you’ve noticed that this person will actively avoid having to work alongside you on projects in the workplace, the simple reason is probably that they don’t like working with you. Unless it’s affecting the quality of your work, it’s probably best just to let this one slide. Even if the two of you were to work together, it probably wouldn’t be a very pleasant environment to be in anyway!

13. Consistently giving you the silent treatment

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Ah, the silent treatment! I’m willing to bet that every one of you reading has fallen victim to this at some stage in your lives. Of course, the circumstances in which the silent treatment is delivered can probably tell you a lot about how they feel about you. For example, if you’ve genuinely done something wrong, then they’re probably acting like this to punish you or waiting for an apology. But if this is consistent behavior with no clear reason as to why, then they might be trying to hurt you.

14. Openly expressing disdain or disgust when interacting with you

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Now, if this doesn’t give you a big enough hint that this person doesn’t like you, then I’m not sure what will. If you can clearly feel the blatant disgust or disdain from this person when you’re speaking to them, then I’m afraid it sounds like you’ve got yourself a hater. Try to take notice of whether this person seems to react this way to other people as well as you. If they do, then they might just be rude and impatient. If they don’t, then it sounds like their problem lies specifically with you.

15. Engaging in passive-aggressive behavior towards you

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A lot of the time, when people are hating on somebody else, they’ll express their hatred in a passive aggressive way. They do this to avoid direct confrontation. If somebody is repeatedly making passive aggressive remarks to you, or acting in a passive aggressive manner, then they’re likely holding onto some kind of resentment or irritation for you. If you feel able to, you might want to call out their behavior and let them know that you don’t appreciate the way that they’re acting towards you.

16. Consistently undermining your authority or credibility

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When somebody is repeatedly undermining your authority or credibility, then they’re likely trying hard to knock you down. One reason for their actions is they could be jealous of your position and might be aiming to compromise this. Perhaps they’re undermining you to try and seem as though they know better than you or so that others will start to question your credibility. This definitely needs addressing and you need to lay down some boundaries with this person to stop it from continuing or getting worse.

17. Consistently prioritizing others over you

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This one is a major red flag. If you can clearly see that at any given opportunity, your suspected hater is prioritising anyone and everybody above you, then they don’t respect you. It means that in their mind, you rank at the bottom of their priorities and they don’t really care about your needs or wishes. They could also be trying to make you feel small, insignificant and want to upset you. If this behavior is constant, let them know that you’ve picked up on what they are doing and see if their behavior changes.

18. Sabotaging your efforts or progress

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You’ve worked hard towards something, whether that is a project at work or a personal achievement in your private life, and this person always seems to find a way to sabotage this. They’re trying to limit your progress because they want to see you fail and hate the idea of your success. This kind of behavior is definitely going to come from somebody who doesn’t like you. You can’t have this person holding you back and you should call them out on this as soon as possible. The reason they’re likely doing this is jealously.

19. Refusing to listen or empathize with your perspective

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With this one, it’s important to pay attention as to whether they act like this towards everyone, or just you. Some people struggle to empathise with others in general because they are closed minded and not very good listeners. If they’re the type of person to always think they’re right, they probably don’t take on anyone else’s perspectives. But, if they’re ignoring your perspective and taking on other peoples, then they clearly don’t respect or value you. They don’t seem to care for your feelings.

20. Making snarky or derogatory comments about your appearance or personal life

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Now, this is just plain nasty. If anybody makes derogatory comments about how you look or about your private life, this isn’t something that you should let go. You need to stand up for yourself! Remember, two wrongs don’t make a right. So, try not to sink to their level by insulting them back. Be the bigger person and tell them you’re not sure what they’re trying to achieve by making nasty comments, but it isn’t working! This behavior would only come from somebody who doesn’t like you, as they’re trying to upset you.

21. Rolling their eyes or sighing heavily when you speak

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Okay, this kind of behavior is completely rude and unacceptable! If this person is rolling their eyes or heavily sighing when you speak, then it sounds like they’re trying to provoke you. They are probably hoping to get some kind of reaction out of you. Try not to give them what they want and stay calm. If they realise that their behavior isn’t bothering you like they had hoped it would, then they might just give up and stop acting like a child! They’re trying to tear you down and make you doubt yourself.

22. Actively trying to embarrass or humiliate you in public

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If you’ve noticed that this person has gone out of their way on more than one occasion to embarrass or humiliate you in front of other people, it’s time to lay down some boundaries. This kind of behavior is bullying and it’s cowardly! They’re acting out in front of an audience with the goal of bringing you down and making you feel bad about yourself. You need to let them know that this isn’t going to work, and that they’re only showing other people their true character. If they realise they’re not going to succeed, they will stop.

23. Deliberately excluding you from conversations or group activities

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When a person is deliberately leaving you out of group activities or conversations, then they are potentially threatened by you. Clearly, they have a problem with other people liking you and interacting with you. If they were secure in their own friendships, then they wouldn’t feel the need to bring you down. They’re actively trying to sabotage your relationship with others and upset you. Try to rise above this and involve yourself with the group anyway. If other people are being welcoming, who cares what they say!

24. Refusing to compliment you when you've earned it

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When a person is hating on you, the last thing they’re going to want to do is compliment or congratulate you! So, you will probably never hear the words “well done, you did great today!” leave their mouths. You could break fifty world records and they will still act like it is no big deal, they will always refuse to acknowledge any of your accomplishments. Remember, you accomplish things for yourself, not for the approval of other people. Especially not those who want to tear you down, this will be a losing battle!

25. Avoiding physical contact or proximity with you

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If the person in question never seems to be within close proximity to you, have a think about why this could be. If your paths genuinely don’t have a need to cross, then this is different. But if this isn’t the case, then it’s probably no coincidence that the two of you never spend time in physical contact. The answer? They’re avoiding you! Usually, when a person is avoiding you, either they feel uncomfortable around you or they simply don’t enjoy your company because they have some kind of hate for you.

26. Refusing to make eye contact or maintain a friendly demeanor

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One of the biggest signs someone likes you, or even enjoys spending time with you, is when they maintain regular eye contact and ask questions about you. So, when your new adversary starts to reduce eye contact, looks at the floor when speaking to you or even starts to change their tone of voice and how they approach you, you know it’s likely pointing to one thing. They either hate you or are starting to dislike you. What can you do? You could possibly raise it with them, asking them why - or, you could save yourself the headache of having an enemy and move on with your life.

27. Consistently giving you short responses

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Do you ever have that feeling that someone wants to end the conversation with you or simply has had enough of an engagement with you? Most of the time, that isn’t because they are in a rush or need to be elsewhere, it’s most likely due to the fact you’re low down on the list of people they like. Don’t blame me, blame the science! If they’ve always given you short answers, maybe they had a bad first impression. But if the replies they used to give you were long, full of description and insight but now are no more than a few syllables, that’s probably because you’ve done something to annoy them and they hate you.

28. Actively seeking opportunities to criticize or insult you

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Constructive criticism is actually a sign that someone wants you to grow or develop your skills. When they put it in a way that is honest, to the point and gives you something to build on, that's healthy. But, what happens when you’ve just given a performance of a lifetime and all they have to give back are nasty looks, bad comments, and none stop digs? That’s because they are actively looking to bring you down, make you feel bad and try to insult you and your skills. Sometimes, in these situations it's better to smile, nod and move on with your life and find someone who appreciates what you do.

29. Displaying hostility or aggression towards you, either verbally or physically

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I mean how obvious can it get, right? If someone is verbally or physically aggressive to you, then you know what you need to do… retaliate and get them back! No, that isn’t the answer (although we wish it was sometimes). The best thing here is to take a step back and assess the situation. Is this something you could have worked out or even worked around? If the aggression starts to get a little too much and seems to be coming out of nowhere then you’re well within your rights to remove that out of your life. If someone hates you, so what? You can’t be liked by everyone.

30. Exhibiting a lack of empathy or compassion when you're going through difficult times

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It’s human nature to empathise with another person when you can see that they’re struggling or going through a hard time. But when you hold some hatred for a person, this emotion can get in the way of any empathy! The worst-case scenario is that they actively enjoy seeing you going through difficulties. Or, they could just feel indifferent when they observe your struggles, because they’re overcome with a dislike for you. Of course, it’s probably best not to go to this person for help when you need it.