Signs He Is Falling In Love With Your Mom

1. He's thinking about her frequently, even when she's not around

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Has the conversation changed from your normal day-to-day to all of a sudden, your boyfriend asking about what your mother has been up to today or recently? One of the biggest signs that he is starting to get feelings for your mother is his frequent questions and needing to know more in depth about what she is up to. The root of this is simple - he’s starting to think about her when she isn’t around and that thought is now taking up space in his brain where you may have once been. It’s not looking good.

2. He genuinely enjoys spending time with her and looks forward to seeing her

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Has he started to get very excited, or maybe even giddy when your plans overlap and involve your mother? You know why that is don’t you? Well, it’s because it isn’t a thought or fantasy anymore. He’s actually starting to enjoy spending time with her and getting to know her more. This is one very slippery slope and something you need to get ahead of! Maybe you can try to take the situation out of his mind or maybe you just need to confront him if he looks happier to see her than he does to see you.

3. He prioritizes spending time with her and makes an effort to include her in activities

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Ok so now he might be happier when he’s spending time with you both, but what about when he starts to prioritize and plan events and activities with just your mother? Shopping trips to town, eating out, going to the cinema? I’m sure all of these could be turned around to make it seem like it’s to get to know your family better - but from what we can see, it’s because he’s getting stronger feelings for your mother. When you start to become second to your mother in your relationship, you’re in trouble.

4. He feels comfortable sharing personal thoughts and feelings with her

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Remember those secrets your boyfriend used to tell you and you thought no one else in the world would be trusted with those expect you? Yeah, well, now your mum is trusted too. What does that mean? It's a huge sign that he is starting to get feelings for your mother. When his trust and personal thoughts start to be blurred between trusted mother-in-law, and sharing because he wants to get closer. When you start to see this happening to need to sound the alarm bells - it's a big warning and this must be stopped.

5. He seems to admire her wisdom, life experiences, and the way she handles herself

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Hold on a minute, you mean he isn’t just asking questions about her experiences and travels and trips because he wants to plan something nice for you? Nope! Most of the time, this is because of the intimacy barrier he is trying to break down. But watch out, there is a big sign to spot here. Being interested is one thing but when he starts to pass comments on how well she handled herself in certain situations or how he finds her admirable/exceptional, that’s when it’s already over before you will notice.

6. He seems to find her attractive, physically or intellectually

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If you notice your boyfriend is giving a lot of compliments to you mother, he might not just be being polite. Watch out for him paying an excessive number of compliments on her appearance or her intellect. If you’re getting the feeling that he finds her attractive, then you’re probably onto something. You might want to call out this behavior and let him know how it’s making you feel. This way, you’ll know whether or not your suspicions are a reality and you can begin to do something about it.

7. He seems to have a deep emotional connection with her and enjoys meaningful conversations

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Everybody wants a partner who can chat freely with their parents. Of course, you want them to get on and have things in common. But, how do you know where to draw the line? Have you noticed that your boyfriend seems to be repeatedly engaging in deep and meaningful conversations with your mother? Do you often find him delving into conversations that he hasn’t even had with you yet? Well, if this is the case, it suggests he is feeling emotionally connected to her and that usually is not a good sign.

8. He is going out of his way to help and support her whenever possible

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When you’re a couple, you should put each other first. If there has been a scenario in your relationship where your boyfriend has actively prioritised supporting your mother over you, then it suggests that his priorities lie where they should not. If you believe that he has been actively going out of his way to help and support your mother, even at his own or your expense, then something is not right. You could try having a conversation with him about where his priorities lie and what his motives are.

9. He is protective towards her and wants to ensure her happiness and well-being

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Ideally, you should be the one who is protective over your own mother. If you start to realise that at any given opportunity, your boyfriend is jumping in to defend or protect your mother and belittle what you are saying, then he’s probably got some kind of emotional involvement going on with her. Have a think about why he may be speaking out like this? If the only reason you can think of is because he is motivated solely by her happiness and well-being over yours, then I’m afraid I have bad news for you...

10. He's attentive to her needs and tries to anticipate them

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If your boyfriend seems to be constantly thinking ahead, actively trying to anticipate your mothers needs so that he can meet them, then things have gone too far. Why is he so intent on pleasing her? If you don’t feel as though the reason has anything to do with you, then it sounds like a huge red flag. Clearly, his attentiveness is driven by a desperate need to please her and to get into her good books. And, often, the reason that he is acting like this is not be as innocent as it appears to be.

11. He genuinely cares about her opinion and seeks her advice on various matters

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It’s important for everybody to value their in-laws' opinions. After all, if any relationship is going to work, you need to have a healthy respect for your significant others parents. However, the two of you should always be each other's priority. So, if you’re noticing that your boyfriend is taking on your mother's opinion and frequently disregarding your own, this could tell you a lot about his feelings towards her. Often, when men are emotionally involved with a woman, they’ll seek her advice in order to act in a way that she will approve of.

12. He's becoming more involved in her life, showing interest in her hobbies and interests

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Have you noticed that your boyfriend has suddenly taken up a new interest in one of your mother’s hobbies? I don’t mean to alarm you, but he could be doing this as a way to create more in common with her or to find a way to spend time with her! This is especially concerning if the hobbies or interests are nothing to do with you. If this is the case, it suggests that he’s hoping to spend time with her without you in the picture. If this starts to happen, you might want to look at laying some boundaries.

13. He seems to feel at ease and comforted when he's in her presence

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When you’re a couple, you should be each other's peace. If you’re starting to pick up on the fact that your boyfriend seems to feel the most at ease when he’s around your mother, then I’m afraid to tell you that this is definitely a huge red flag. Especially if he seems to be uptight or irritable with you, but then is clearly comfortable when he’s around her. You’ve got to question how he feels so comfortable around her, could he be spending time with her when you’re not aware that they are doing this?

14. He has a strong sense of loyalty and commitment towards her

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Have you started to sense a strong sense of loyalty and commitment from your partner when it comes to your mother? Whilst this can of course be a good thing, how do you know when this has become unhealthy? When his loyalty and commitment to her seems to overtake how he acts towards you, then it is definitely a problem. He should never be more committed to anyone else in your family above you! If he is, you could ask him where his head is at and why he has been acting in this way. It’s important to let him know how this is making you feel.

15. He thinks about her happiness and finds joy in making her smile or laugh

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Does your boyfriend seem to be getting a kick out of making your mother smile? Is he consistently thinking about how to make her happy or trying to make her laugh? Well, this is usually how men will act around the woman that they are interested in. Your happiness should still come first and he should never be going out of his way to make her laugh when it’s at the expense of your feelings. If your mother is enabling this behavior, it might be time for a conversation with her to find out whether she is aware of what’s going on.

16. He notices and appreciates the small details about her

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If your boyfriend has been mentioning small details about your mother that he’s picked up on, then it sounds like he might be emotionally involved with her. Take note of the way he is talking about these small details, is he clearly appreciating them and praising her individuality? If he’s talking about her like she’s different to everybody else, then he most definitely has developed romantic feelings towards her. This is far from a good sign for you and it needs to be addressed -and quickly!

17. He feels a sense of pride when introducing her to others

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If you can practically feel the pride oozing out of your boyfriend when he talks about her or introduces her to other people, then I’m afraid it’s not good news. This behavior would suggest that he feels as though he is emotionally linked to her. Does he talk about you with this same amount of pride? If he doesn’t seem to boast about his relationship with you anywhere near as much, then you need to let him know how small this is making you feel. You shouldn’t feel inferior to anyone in your relationship.

18. He's curious about her past and wants to know her life story

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Has your boyfriend been asking a lot of questions about your mother's past? Does he quiz you about her life story? Or, perhaps you’ve noticed it’s your mother he’s asking directly, showing a huge amount of interest about her past. It sounds like he’s trying to work her out and is highly interested in her as a person. He could be deciding whether your mother is the person that he wants to invest his time into, hedging his bets on whether or not it’s worth a shot. If you act quickly, you can convince him that it’s not!

19. He's got a connection to the family and enjoy spending time with them

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This is a tricky one. If he is showing a lot of interest in your family, wanting to spend time with them and working on his connections with them, it could be a good thing. What is hard to work out is whether he is doing this because he values his relationship with you and wants to invest in your family for this reason. Or, whether he is actually doing all of this because he wants to impress and grow closer to your mother. This is probably one of the hardest points to determine where his intentions lie.

20. He defends her when someone speaks negatively about her

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Now, this one can be seriously annoying. You should be able to vent to your boyfriend when you need to. After all, it’s your family and so you’re entitled to moan about them when they’ve irritated you! Now, you shouldn’t expect your partner to join in and slate your family. However, if he always seems to become extremely defensive when your mother is mentioned, sticking up for her and taking her side over yours, then this is when it becomes a problem. Clearly, he’s valuing her happiness and opinions over yours.

21. He seems jealous or possessive when other people show interest in her

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This is definitely a huge red flag - perhaps the biggest! If you notice your boyfriend is acting jealous when somebody else shows interest in your mother, then he definitely has feelings for her. Does he make snide comments about the person showing interest, or try to put your mother off them? Maybe you can just see in his body language that it is making him uncomfortable? I’d have a chat with your mother about this if it is something that you’ve noticed, to see if she has picked up on this too.

22. He seems to be thinking about the future and considering her presence in it

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Those plans that you and your boyfriend have, settling down with a few children, maybe even near the sea side - all well and good until your boyfriend starts to imagine your mother in your place… But how can you notice this when it’s all in his imagination? Maybe keeping a close eye on where and how he starts to invite your mother to events that she wasn’t previously supposed to attend. His reasons for this might be that he is trying to get a feel of what his future could look like in different situations if it was your mother standing next to him instead of you.

23. He seems to feel loss or sadness when he's not able to spend time with her

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Your boyfriend should want to be with you and should be happy when he is, that’s a given, right? But what you need to look out for is when his mood and his personality starts to change when you’re in situations where your mother would usually be, but when she isn’t, he becomes gloomy all of a sudden. This idea that he starts to feel sad or lost without her is probably the biggest sign that he has started to get feelings for your mother. If you notice this, maybe trying to ween him out of the situation so it isn’t a hard crash!

24. He prioritizes her well-being and takes steps to ensure she is happy and healthy

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Everyone likes to be looked after and in fact if your boyfriend was to take you on a spa day or a relaxing weekend trip away - you’d practically think he was a life saver. But all too often the tides can change quickly. When your boyfriend starts to prioritise your mothers well being and your her happiness over others (or even worse over yours), then you know something has to be going on somewhere. Now, this isn’t to say that it’s too late, but it does mean that we are well on the way to a dangerous outcome.

25. He remembers the important dates in her life and makes an effort to celebrate them

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You always expect your boyfriend to remember your birthday and your anniversaries, that’s natural. But what you sometimes don’t notice is when he seems to remember all of your mothers dates, too!  One birthday doesn't seem too bad, but what about when he starts remembering her personal anniversaries or worse, starts getting her Mother’s Day or Valentines presents? Maybe in this case it’s best to say "what on earth are you doing and why are you spending so much time, energy and money on my mother and not me?"

26. He's daydreaming about doing things with her in the future, such as traveling or creating memories

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How many future plans do you have that you and your boyfriend have been thinking about since that first date? That’s the stuff that makes all the effort worthwhile. The trips abroad, the experiences, the ups and the downs. What you need to keep your eyes and ears open for is when he starts to talk about doing things including your mum in the future. Or even worse, just him and your mum on their own! If he does dare to mention that your mother and him have future plans, you need to set the record straight.

27. He feels of gratitude for her role in your your life and appreciates the positive influence she has had on you

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Your boyfriend loves you for you, that’s how it started and that’s how you hope it’ll stay for as long as possible. But (and this is a big big but) when he starts to make comments about how you are how you are because of your mother, that’s when alarms should be ringing. In this situation, he is starting to think your mum is the cause for all the good within you, and all the enjoyment that you bring to his life. You need to pull him back into the real world and get him out of that fantasy land!

28. He's patient and understanding with her, even in challenging situations

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There used to be a time when your boyfriend would come round and maybe be a little shy around your mother and family. Perhaps he even dreaded when he had to spend time with your family? Well, if that’s starting to change, you need to pay attention. Is he more sympathetic to what she says and does, or much more patient and understanding when she’s disagreeing or arguing? If so, then you know you’re in a spot of bother. Being open minded is one thing but when he starts to side with her, that’s when you need to evaluate.

29. He's talking about her to your friends and family

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Remember the times when you would walk in the room, to overhear him telling a story about something you had done and you thought 'aw that’s cute'. Those times are gone! When now, you hear him talking about the experience he's had with your mum, that’s a sign to be concerned. If he starts to bring up past experiences that don’t just involve you but involve your mother, then you know he’s starting to potentially replace you in his head. Try to work around it, spot the signs, and remind him that it’s you and not your mother that he wants.

30. You realize that his love for her is growing and becoming a significant part of his life

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There’s probably nothing to worry about when you start to realise your boyfriend had or has a bit of a crush on your mum. Hey, maybe it’s because he sees you in her and you can take some positives out of that. But, what does become a problem is when that starts to grow. One small thing, no problem. But when this grows into a big thing - big problem! So, what do you do in this situation? Well that’s up to you. But I'd advise trying to catch the problem as early as possible to stop it right in its tracks.