10+ Ways To Deal With A Breakup

Avoid Rebound Relationships

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After a breakup, the temptation to jump into a new relationship can be strong. However, it's crucial to give yourself time to heal before getting involved with someone else. Rushing into a rebound relationship might hinder your emotional growth and lead to repeating unhealthy patterns. Take the time to understand your emotions, learn from the past, and ensure you're ready for a new connection based on genuine compatibility and mutual respect.

Therapy Can Be Beneficial

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If coping with the breakup feels overwhelming, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be incredibly beneficial. Talking to a trained professional provides a safe space to express your feelings and gain insights into your emotions and behaviors. Therapy can help you process the breakup, identify any unresolved issues, and develop healthy coping strategies. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Let Go of Mementos

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Keeping reminders of your past relationship can impede your healing process. Consider packing away or donating items that hold sentimental value from the time spent with your ex. Creating a clean and clutter-free space allows you to detach emotionally from the past and make room for new experiences and memories. Embrace the opportunity to revamp your living environment to reflect your present self and future aspirations.

Avoid Social Media Stalking

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The urge to check your ex's social media profiles is natural but potentially harmful. Constantly monitoring their online presence can reopen emotional wounds and delay your healing journey. Unfollow or mute them on social media platforms to limit exposure to their updates. Focus on your well-being and avoid comparing your progress to theirs. Redirect your energy towards personal growth, hobbies, and connecting with supportive friends and family.

Focus on the Future

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Shift your focus from dwelling on the past to envisioning a brighter future. Set new goals and aspirations that excite you and align with your values. Whether it's pursuing a career change, learning a new skill, or traveling to new places, having a clear vision for your future will give you a sense of direction and purpose. Embrace the opportunities that lie ahead and embrace the journey of self-discovery.

Be Patient with Yourself Because Healing Takes Time

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Understand that healing from a breakup is a gradual process, and there's no fixed timeline for recovery. Be patient with yourself as you navigate through the ups and downs of healing. It's normal to have good days and bad days, and it's okay to feel a range of emotions. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that it's okay to take all the time you need to heal fully.

Join Support Groups

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Connecting with others who have experienced similar heartbreak can be immensely comforting. Consider joining support groups or online communities where you can share your experiences, listen to others' stories, and offer mutual support. Engaging with people who understand what you're going through can help you feel less alone in your healing journey and provide valuable insights and coping strategies.

Forgive and Let Go

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Forgiveness is a powerful tool for releasing yourself from the grip of negative emotions. Over time, try to forgive both your ex and yourself for any mistakes made during the relationship. Holding onto resentment only prolongs your pain and prevents you from moving forward. Letting go doesn't mean forgetting; it means freeing yourself from the burden of bitterness and making space for emotional healing and personal growth.

Engage in New Experiences

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Keeping yourself occupied with activities and tasks can be an effective way to distract your mind from the pain of the breakup. Engage in new experiences, try out hobbies you've always been curious about, or volunteer for a cause that resonates with you. The sense of accomplishment and joy you gain from exploring new interests will help ease the emotional burden and provide moments of happiness.

Allow Yourself to Feel

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It's normal to feel a rollercoaster of emotions after a breakup, including pain, anger, and sadness. Allow yourself to experience and express these emotions without judgment. Cry if you need to, talk to supportive friends or family, or even consider writing in a journal to process your feelings. Embracing your emotions is an essential step towards healing and moving forward with a healthier perspective on love and relationships.

Cut Off Contact

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Resist the urge to contact your ex immediately after the breakup. Cutting off contact allows you to gain clarity and perspective without reopening emotional wounds. Give yourself the time and space needed to focus on your healing journey and rebuild your sense of self. This distance from your ex can help you break unhealthy patterns and establish healthy boundaries in future relationships.

Reconnect with Your Passions

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During a relationship, you may have put some of your hobbies and interests on hold. Now is the perfect time to rediscover yourself outside of the relationship. Reconnect with your passions, hobbies, and activities that bring you joy. Embracing your individuality and nurturing your interests will not only help with healing but also enhance your overall well-being and self-confidence.

Openly Discuss Your Feelings

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Talking about your feelings after a breakup is incredibly important. Reach out to supportive friends and family, and don't be afraid to express what you're going through. Sometimes, just sharing your emotions can bring new insights and provide some relief. Holding everything inside won't work, so don't isolate yourself. Remember, others have gone through similar experiences, and their understanding can be a source of comfort during this tough time.

Write Out Your Thoughts and Feelings

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In addition to talking with others, try journaling your thoughts and feelings about the breakup. It's a safe way to express yourself privately and gain a fresh perspective on your emotions. Sometimes, we can't always find someone available when we need to share, and writing can be a liberating release, offering a new sense of clarity.

Understand That Break-ups Are Often An Inevitable Part Of Dating

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Breakups are a natural part of the dating process. Until we find the right match, we'll go through ups and downs in relationships. Expecting this reality can help ease the devastation when it happens. Every relationship teaches us valuable lessons and helps us grow, even if it ends. Keep in mind that finding a compatible partner takes time, and many dating experiences contribute to our journey.

Don’t Personalize The Loss

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It's normal to blame ourselves after a breakup but avoid dwelling on self-blame for too long. The pain often stems from seeing the breakup as our fault and regretting our choices. Instead, recognize that conflicts and incompatibilities are part of any relationship end, and it's not solely your responsibility. Focus on the differences in needs and communication styles rather than placing blame.

Prioritize Basic Self-Care

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Amidst the pain, ensure your basic needs are met. Even if you don't feel like it, eat healthily, get enough rest, and exercise. Taking care of yourself physically can contribute to your emotional well-being. Exercise, in particular, triggers the release of endorphins, which can improve your mood.

Get Back Into A Routine

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A breakup can disrupt various aspects of your life, leading to a sense of chaos. Getting back into your regular routines can provide a sense of stability and normalcy. Stick to your usual wake-up and bedtime, meals, work or school activities, and spend time with friends and family. Re-establishing routines will help you regain a sense of control.

Indulge Yourself

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Treating yourself with kindness and indulgence is crucial. Pamper yourself with activities you enjoy, whether it's trying a new restaurant, watching a movie with friends, taking a relaxing bath, or going on a short getaway. Doing things that make you happy will lift your spirits and remind you that self-love is essential during difficult times.

Give Yourself Some Slack

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Understand that your functioning may not be at its best for a while, given the distress you're experiencing. Lighten your load temporarily and allow yourself to process your emotions fully. This may mean taking a break from certain responsibilities, like studying, or adjusting your work schedule. Be patient with yourself and avoid judging any dip in performance.

Don’t Lose Faith In People Or Relationships

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Despite the hurt, resist the urge to lose faith in love and relationships altogether. Not every relationship ends perfectly, but that doesn't mean you won't find happiness with someone else in the future. Avoid generalizing based on one experience, as there are plenty of opportunities for meaningful connections. Keep an open heart, and the right person will come along.

Let Go Of The Hope You Will Get Back Together

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As challenging as it is, try to release the hope of getting back together with your ex unless there are compelling reasons suggesting otherwise. Holding onto this hope will hinder closure and keep you emotionally attached. Avoid waiting for calls or trying to reconnect, as it prolongs your emotional distress. Allow yourself to move forward without clinging to the past.

Make A List Of Your Ex’s Annoying Qualities

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If you find yourself dwelling on what you miss about your ex, remind yourself of their less endearing qualities. It can help shift your focus away from idealizing the relationship and make it easier to let go. Reflecting on incompatibilities can lead to a better understanding of the breakup and the realization that there might be a better match for you out there.

Perform A Closure Ritual

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A closure ritual can be a meaningful way to acknowledge the end of the relationship and begin the healing process. Consider writing a letter expressing your final thoughts, removing reminders of your ex, or engaging in a symbolic act that represents letting go of the relationship. This ritual can bring a sense of closure and help you move forward with a clearer mind.

Examine What You Can Learn From The Relationship

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Take a moment to explore the valuable lessons this relationship has brought into your life. Reflect on what aspects worked well and what didn't, using those insights to grow and enhance your future connections. Remember, this isn't about blaming yourself; it's about learning and evolving as a person. Embrace the opportunities for personal growth and positive change that arise from this self-reflection.

Avoid Unhealthy Coping Strategies

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In moments of pain, it might be tempting to resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms like excessive drinking, drug use, overeating, self-harm, or addictive behaviors. Instead, opt for healthier ways to deal with your emotions and move forward. Engage in activities that nurture your well-being, such as exercise, spending time with loved ones, or pursuing hobbies you enjoy. These positive coping strategies will help you heal and build resilience.

Don't Rely On Your Ex For Support Or Try To Maintain A Friendship

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While it's normal to seek comfort after a breakup, depending on your ex for emotional support can slow down your healing process. Give yourself space and time to process the breakup without their presence. As tempting as it might be to maintain a friendship, wait until you've undergone significant emotional recovery before considering it. Focus on your own well-being and surround yourself with supportive friends and family.

Avoid The Temptation To Take Revenge

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When the urge for revenge arises after a breakup, it can feel like a tempting way to alleviate the pain. However, seeking revenge isn't a healthy or productive solution. Instead, channel that energy into finding closure through more constructive means. Remember, revenge might offer momentary satisfaction, but it can lead to regret and more negative consequences in the long run. Focus on healing and moving forward in a positive direction instead.

Remember That You Can Survive On Your Own

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Always remind yourself of your inner strength and ability to thrive independently. You were complete before the relationship, and you will continue to be whole without it. Embrace your independence and cherish the journey of self-discovery. While relationships add value to our lives, your worth and fulfillment aren't solely dependent on them. Embrace your individuality and believe in your capacity to lead a fulfilling life on your own terms.

Start Dating Again

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While it's crucial to grieve the loss and learn from the past, eventually, you'll need to open yourself to new connections. Take your time and start dating more casually at first. This will expose you to new possibilities and remind you that there are other potential matches out there. Embrace the risks that come with dating and stay open to the exciting opportunities the future holds.

Get into baking or cooking

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Even if you've never really been a baker or a good cook before, now's the time to try! Not only is baking or cooking a great mindful task - meaning you can get stuck in and really concentrate instead of letting your mind wander to your ex - it also guarantees that you'll likely eat more healthily during this time with home cooking (or treat yourself with some cookies when you need them!). And it always tastes better homemade!

Take a class outside of your comfort zone

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If you've taken classes before or have a particular set of hobbies, it's likely that all of these are going to remind you of times with your ex. Maybe you even had a class that you went to with them. So doing the same classes is only going to remind you of how it used to be. It's much better to completely get out of your comfort zone with something you've never tried before, or even spoken about doing with your ex.

Force yourself to laugh/smile

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This may sound silly - and nobody likes being told to smile when they're feeling low - but it's more about the 'science' behind it. Some studies have shown that when you actually smile or laugh and use those muscles it can make you feel better just by doing so, even if you were feeling low or sad. Try it at home by just giving yourself a quick smile and see if it helps.

Try to take in a museum or two

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Museums are great places to visit to see and do a variety of things. Not only that, but most museums - or even galleries - will be quiet places which are perfect for self reflection, or even if you're just feeling a little overwhelmed after the breakup and you need a quiet space away from it all. Most museums are free entry, too, so you don't have to worry about doing things that cost money to take your mind off things!

Find a new passion

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The importance of finding a new passion is to not only give you something to focus on or to take your mind off the breakup, but also because it's likely all your old passions were things you either based around life with your ex, or things you discussed with them or did whilst spending time with them. So a brand new passion will give you something completely different.

Wear a new style every day

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We know that the last thing you're thinking about after a breakup is washing your hair, putting makeup on or even getting dressed, but exploring your style is a great way to help with moving on. There's a reason that most people get an impulsive hair cut or new hair color after a breakup! It's fun to explore a new style but it also makes you feel like a 'new you' is coming out so that you can move on.

Try a dance class (or just go dancing!)

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Dancing is good for the soul - it can loosen up your body, too (which we bet has been feeling pretty rundown since the breakup) as well as being highly likely it's going to be fun, make you laugh and make you smile! You can join dance classes to keep fit, or even just get some friends together to go out for a night dancing at your favorite place with your favorite music.

Healthy habits are going to be key

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This is one of the most difficult things you're going to have to psych yourself up to do, but honestly it's going to make such a difference to the healing process! The biggest healthy habits you can do to help yourself will be exercise and eating properly (even if it's just making sure you're standing up and walking around and actually eating *something*) but you should also think about anything that means 'healthy' to you.

Try gratitude journaling

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Journaling is an extremely helpful process during this time, but gratitude journaling is something you can do separately (or maybe even just this if that's what you want to focus on). You don't even need to physically write it down if you don't want to, but just make sure to wake up every day and say out loud things that you're grateful for. Try to find at least three things and remind yourself of them.

Fix up your home or any abandoned projects

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DIY can also be a great way to distract your mind, keep busy, get some exercise in and also express yourself - which is really important to do when you're feeling lost without your ex. Focus on any fixer-upper jobs you've been avoiding around the home, paint that wall you've been meaning to paint, or pick back up odd jobs you abandoned at some point.

Watch your favorite videos or movies

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There's nothing that's going to cheer you up more than your favorite movies, especially if they're comedies - or maybe even just your favorite videos on YouTube or streaming platforms. Take the time out to get cozy and settle down with your favorite films, and extra points if they're ones you haven't watched for a while because your ex didn't like them!

Go and get a facial or some pampering!

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Pampering is also going to be a huge help during this time, because it's putting a focus on you, self-care and self-love. Facials in particular can be a great choice because they can make you feel physically and mentally refreshed in a way that you can see on your face, but you can pair it with any beauty treatment you relate to, or anything you know is going to help make you feel cared for.

Find a healthy way to relieve stress

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If you need to punch something after an angry breakup, there's nothing wrong with that! It's not about trying not to feel angry or upset, it's about finding a healthy way to process that. So you could take up a gym membership with a focus on weights or that punching bag you can stick a picture of your ex's face onto. Or take up a martial arts class that let's you kick something!

Choose a friend to be 'the one' right after the breakup

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We understand that not everybody has somebody to lean on after going through something like this, which is where professional support and therapy can come in handy, as well as helplines. If you do have a friend you can trust, you can ask them if they'll be your 'go to' after the breakup. This is for those difficult times in your routine when you would usually contact your ex - like telling them what you're having for lunch or a movie you just watched - and you can then send this message to your friend instead.

Try not to turn to comfort foods too much

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You're definitely allowed to have comfort foods during this difficult time, but the key is not to get into a bad routine where you start depending on them or even become addicted/binge-eating. This will only lead to unhealthy habits, and your brain will also start associating certain junk foods with this low feeling you have at the moment, which won't help down the road.

Find new 'traditions'

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Most couples are likely to have certain traditions, even small ones, like always getting a Chinese on a Friday night, sending a good morning text, or doing a certain activity once a week. These traditions become rooted in your routine which is why it's going to be difficult to suddenly not be doing them. The key here is to find new traditions you can do for yourself!

You might also want to give meditation a go

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It's not easy to try and relax or quiet a busy mind that's going through heartbreak, but making time for meditation might help to relax and soothe you. It can help you practice mindfulness which means you might have even just a couple of minutes a day where you're not thinking about them - and soon those minutes will turn to hours, until you have a whole day where you realize you haven't thought about them at all!

Try visual aids

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After a breakup, it's time to start planning your new life goals and how you want your day-to-day to look. Visual aids can work very well for this - and some people respond to visual things better than the written word in terms of inspiration - so you might want to try out a mood board or even just an ideas board you can stick things onto or draw to get a new crafty passion in there, too!

Book yourself a vacation to look forward to

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Everybody needs a vacation once in a while, and after a breakup? Absolutely! This can be any sort of vacation you want it to be, ideally one that will help you relax and take your mind off things, but you might feel like you need something that will challenge you or take you out of your comfort zone, like solo traveling instead of with friends. It doesn't have to be huge or expensive, either - if you're budgeting, try a weekend staycation even!

Keep moving!

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No matter what you're doing, big or small, the important thing is to keep moving - and to keep moving forward. Try not to spend too long sitting, thinking or getting stagnant because you haven't moved your body or thought about anything other than them. No matter what you're doing, ask yourself if it's a step in the right direction, and if it is, do it!