20 Signs He Has Already Planned The Breakup

He's avoiding you

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If you can't get a hold of him or you haven't seen him around the house for a few days, he's hiding in the shadows. He is actively avoiding you because he doesn't want to be faced with the hard truth that he needs to break up with you. Is it cowardly? Yes, but it is an absolute classic.

He's hesitant about making future plans

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You are planning holidays, parties and dates when you ask him if he will be available for your aunt's wedding in six months time. He says that maybe that's something you should take your childhood best friend to. He's not being courteous. He doesn't want to set anything in stone because he's not planning to be in your life in six months.

He's on his phone a lot more

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And he's so, so sneaky about it. He's changed his password and, whenever he is on it, the screen always seems to be facing away from you. Is he cheating? Is he playing games whilst you're talking? Is he looking for a new apartment? Either way, he's hiding something from you and the end is nigh.

He's losing respect for you

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Losing respect for you can come in so many varying shapes and sizes, that it can often be missed. Has he started talking over the top of you? Or interrupting you? Has he started saying he'll be at the gym tonight when you'd just finished making a romantic dinner? You are quickly losing real estate in his mind and he's moving on.

He's ignoring your boundaries

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Boundaries are such an important part of respecting your partner, and once they're gone, they can mean the end of a relationship. If he is ignoring what you've asked for him, discussing topics that you have specifically said are off the table, inviting his friends around more often without discussing it with you, he's lost respect for your boundaries, so he's lost respect for you.

He doesn't tell you anything anymore

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He is closing the door on all the things that once made him burst with excitement when he told you. He used to call you about every little comment or remark or thought. Now, you have to find out about his promotion over LinkedIn, and the birthday dinner he had with his mom over Instagram. He doesn't want to waste time telling you about his life anymore, because very soon, you won't be a part of it.

He doesn't ask any questions

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If someone does not ask you any questions, they are not interested in you. For example, you told him you and your sister have booked tickets to see a show and he didn't care. He kept looking at his phone. He is not invested in you anymore, so there is no way he is going to show interest by asking questions.

You've stopped being physically intimate

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This one hurts. You have tried everything. You have worn sexy lingerie; you have played Pony by Ginuwine whilst dimming the lights. You have been sweet, cute and flirty, but still, you get absolutely nothing. He tells you he's tired and goes to sleep. If your relationship has always had a solid foundation in the bedroom and he's lost interest, it means he's putting your love life to bed.

He's spending more time with his friends

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You didn't even know he had that many friends! People he had once claimed were acquaintances are now besties. Activities you thought were just between the two of you are now things he does with other people. In doing this, he is trying to fill his time with people who aren't you, and attempting to cancel out the relationship.

He's started checking other women out in front of you

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You know that meme? You used to laugh over it together. Now, it's becoming a harsh reality. He watched a waitress walk away from you the other day. A friend came over and you saw him glance at her chest when he thought you weren't looking. It's disrespectful, it's sleazy and it means he's looking for his next girl.

He's lost interest in your hobbies

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When you took up embroidery, he wanted to see every line you had stitched. When you began going to pilates classes, he was so excited to see the progress you had made. Even Duolingo! He used to have such an interest in your personal time, now he can't wait for his. He's lost interest in what makes you you.

He's stopped laughing at your jokes

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You used to be on the exact same page: your in-jokes, couples costumes, skits you'd do. Now, he hasn't cracked a smile in weeks. You have been trying to remember all the little jokes that made him fall in love with you in the first place, but the only thing that makes him laugh now is his phone.

He's quiet

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If you're with a quiet man, this isn't quite so much of a concern. This behaviour is very, very odd if you have ever been with a loveable goofball, or a labrador of a man, or someone who loves to voice his opinions. It is eerie when they go silent, and if they do, it means that they've removed themselves from the situation and don't want to waste words on someone they aren't interested in anymore.

He won't answer any of your questions

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There is a complete lack of interest in your questions. It's like you're speaking an entirely different language. Even the basic ask of how he is falls on deaf ears. He will not give you the time of day, literally and metaphorically. He's not listening to you because he's answering a different set of questions.

He's cagier than usual

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Being uncomfortable answering questions is one thing, but that paired with his lack of interest in giving you any kind of information about anything means he's a lot cagier than usual. When he's like this, it means he has already broken up with you in his mind. He's just waiting for the right opportunity.

He's often in a bad mood around you

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Not cracking a smile at a joke is one thing, but not cracking a smile ever and actively being one of the most unpleasant individuals you can imagine is another. He is grumpy, rigid and stubborn. It might be that he's trying to make you break up with him first, or it might be that he hasn't got his way yet.

You're arguing a lot more

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With a terrible mood comes an easiness in arguments. You started walking on eggshells around him, aware that everything you were doing or saying or even thinking was leading to the next big blow up. Now, you're starting to raise your voice too and it is headed towards disaster.

He's more stubborn about what he wants

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What used to be collaboration, discussion and communication is now a rigid lack of flexibility that means you end up doing whatever he wants to do. You told him you wanted to stay in for dinner, but he decided you're going out and that was the end of that. He doesn't take your feelings or thoughts into consideration anymore because he doesn't care.

He's stopped asking you to spend time the two of you

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It used to be your favourite time: just the two of you doing whatever the two of you wanted to do. Now, he is actively making it difficult to spend any kind of one on one time with him, or really any time at all. If you're left alone, you'll get the truth out of him, and he might not be ready for that yet.

He's working late a lot more

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He used to be home exactly on time. He never wanted to stay late at the office or go out with his colleagues after work. Now, he works sometimes two or three hours longer than he should for free! He is attempting to spend less time with you and build connections with other people so he has somewhere to go once your relationship has ended.

He won't accept your help

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Have you ever lived with someone who is dead set against accepting your help? It is unbelievably frustrating. You offer to help do the laundry, he says no. You offer to help chop the veg for dinner, he says no. Everything he does, he wants to do independently, cutting you out of the team the two of you had created together.

He doesn't tell you he loves you anymore

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I love you is one of the loveliest things a human can say to another human. It gives relationships life and lets you both know that you are treasured, accepted and valued. But when it stops, it tells you that the relationship you once had so much trust in, is coming to an end.

He rarely calls or texts

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I love you is one of the loveliest things a human can say to another human. It gives relationships life and lets you both know that you are treasured, accepted and valued. But when it stops, it tells you that the relationship you once had so much trust in, is coming to an end.

Things you shared have stopped being interesting to him

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That warm feeling you used to get, trailing each other in a bookshop, looking for a gift to buy each other, was where you felt the safest. Sharing time together doing what you loved. But now he has misplaced that, decided he is no longer invested in the relationship or you.

He lies

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His nose should get longer every time he speaks. When did he start thinking it was okay to lie to you? It started with really little things. He lied about being on the phone to his mom or what he had for dinner. But now he's lying about where he's been or who he's talking to. The trust has gone and soon, he will be too.

He won't try to fix it

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Your friends tried couples' therapy. Your sister read a book that transformed her relationship. You have people all around who are ready and willing to give you advice that he just will not accept. He doesn't want to fix it because he knows that he is out of this, so what is the point in trying to fix something that's already broken?

He's stopped complimenting you

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It's one of the things you miss the most. The little blush you would feel on your cheeks when he told you how beautiful you are. He is trying to remove himself from the relationship and so, is not prepared to compliment you. He doesn't care what you look like and he doesn't care how you feel.

His family and friends have stopped reaching out

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When was the last time you heard from his mom? Or his brother? Or the friends that were initially his but became shared between the two of you? Whether he has been direct or not, they're aware that this relationship isn't set to last, so if he's not making an effort with you, why should they? And even if they did care, they wouldn't want to lie to you by making you think everything was hunky dory.

He's secretive

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His thoughts, his plans, his whereabouts, his feelings are under a lock and key you cannot seem to locate. He has become way more mysterious than you ever thought possible and all this deception means you are losing faith in the relationship quickly. Whether it's manipulation or he's careless, it's a way of understanding that he is set on leaving you.

He's joked about breaking up with you

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This is the one where you'll look back and cringe; those moments where he would look you dead in the eye and joke about leaving you. Initially, the thought broke him, but then it became an often occurrence. I hate to say it but in every joke there's a little bit of truth, and the truth of the matter is that you're going to be single real soon.