Things We Should Never Do After Breaking Up With Someone

1. Rush into another relationship

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Breakups are super hard and you may even feel like to distract yourself from facing the heartbreak, you should throw yourself into another relationship. But this won't work until you have healed...even if it does make you feel better in the moment it will be worse in the long run.

2. Stalk your ex

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It takes an immense amount of willpower and resistance NOT to stalk your ex after a breakup. What are they doing? Where are they, who are they with? Are they heartbroken or are they over me? The thing is, while it may feel like you need to know, it's only worse for yourself.

3. Badmouth them

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Breakups aren't pretty and no matter how amicably things end, there are at some point going to be some negative feelings. If it ended badly, then you may feel like telling the whole world what a jerk they are. But this will reflect badly on you, and you'll end up regretting this rash decision!

4. Try to get revenge

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If your ex wronged you somehow, you may feel like you want to hurt them as they did to you. But the best thing you can do is show them that you don't need them and that you don't need to sink to your level because you have too much self-respect and dignity.

5. Try to discover if they are dating somebody else'

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The breakup sucks, but one thing harder than anything can be the thought of them moving on with someone else and picturing them with someone that isn't you. It will feel like desperation to know that they are dating somebody else. But either way, finding out this information is only keeping yourself tied to this person.

6. Go back to them straight after

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The pain of a breakup can be so hard that we just want to go straight back to that person because they are the only person at this moment who can make us feel any better. But you have to remember that the breakup has to be dealt with at some point, and going back is only dragging it out longer.

7. Try to distract yourself with casual hookups

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There's no right or wrong thing to do in terms of having casual hookups, it's totally your choice. But you have to be careful that you aren't trying to distract yourself from what you're feeling with these hookups because it could end up making you feel much emptier when these flings aren't anything substantial.

8. Post pictures online to try and make them jealous

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By all means do the whole glow-up, cutting, and restyling of your hair...absolutely, it's basically break up guideline 101. And there's also nothing wrong with posting a picture looking your best. But don't totally spam social media with pictures of yourself that are clearly trying to make them jealous because people will immediately know that you aren't over them.

9. Isolate yourself

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Do not lock yourself in your bedroom and stay in bed for days after a breakup...yes we know that's all you feel like doing, but isolating yourself is the worst thing you can do. Of course, take some time for yourself, but surround yourself with loved ones to make the pain feel easier and remind you that you're not alone.

10. Bottle up your emotions

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Bottling up your emotions is the worst thing you can do. You have to let it out to be able to fully get over your ex and heal. Bottling it up inside means that it will brew up until it finally, inevitably, comes out somewhere down the line. Don't feel ashamed to cry and let it all out.

11. Keep texting them

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When you get that urge to pick up your phone and send them a message... put it straight back down. We all know just how hard that is to do in reality. But texting them really won't help matters. While it may make you feel better in the moment, it's only prolonging the inevitable which is to cut contact!

12. Make impulsive decisions

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Making decisions when our emotions are at their most heightened state will lead us to make poor, rash decisions that we'll probably end up regretting (i.e. texting them 'I want you back'). Make sure that when you are feeling super sad or angry, you wait a few hours until you can think more rationally!

13. Compare everyone to them

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'My ex did that', 'you wear the same aftershave as my ex', or 'my ex used to laugh like that'...while it's understandable because the break-up is fresh, nobody really wants to hear it. You don't want to start telling everyone and their dog about what your ex used to have for breakfast and the way they snored in their sleep.

14. Think about what could have been

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Could have, should have, would have is absolutely useless. If he did this differently or she didn't do this... it's all irrelevant because what did happen, happened. You can't take it back, you can't change it and you certainly can't reverse it. Thinking about what could have been is tormenting yourself.

15. Ignore the lessons

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Breakups happen for a reason, and what you can't do after a breakup is ignore everything you have learned from this situation. Otherwise, you find yourself in the same situation in the not-so-distant future. Instead, take on board what you learned and use it to help you!

16. Avoid facing your feelings

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You can't avoid facing your feelings forever, and you'll find that if you do avoid it it will only hit you worse later on down the line. Instead, you've got to allow yourself to feel everything that you feel, let your emotions happen, and don't try and push them away. It's all part of being human!

17. Blame yourself too much

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At the end of the day no matter what happened there's no use in putting all of the blame on yourself and feeling super guilty. Instead, learn from your mistakes for the future. But putting an immense amount of guilt on yourself whilst dealing with a breakup is too much!

18. Look back on only the positive OR negative

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Looking back on only the highlights of the relationship fills you with a distorted view of what the relationship was like which makes it feel so much more difficult to get over. Likewise, only focusing on the bad can make us feel super angry and bitter which is hard to move past. Try and acknowledge that the relationship has highs and lows like anything in life.

19. See it as a waste of time

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Seeing it as a waste of time is completely unproductive and will make you feel so much worse as you'll not only be grieving the relationship, you'll be mourning the loss of your time. No relationship is a waste of time because they shape us and teach us things that make us who we are.

20. Cling to or give false hope

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It's easy to cling on to pieces of false hope, especially if you don't want the breakup to happen. But you need to accept it and draw a line under the sand in order to be able to move on. Similarly, don't give them any false hope as it will continue the attachment to one another.

21. Try to publicly embarrass them

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Publicly shaming or embarrassing an ex during a breakup reflects badly on you. It's not cool, no matter if you feel that this person deserved it. Never take a private relationship into a public space as you can never take it back and you'll come to wish you never had!

22. Stop them from moving on

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Even if you know that the breakup was for the best, it doesn't mean that the thought of your ex with someone else doesn't make your heart ache. It will do for a while, it; 's completely normal. But don't try to stop them from moving on because this will only stop YOU from moving on.

23. Let bitterness consume you

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Bitterness is a horrible and consuming emotion that can distort your emotions and how you act. Don't let bitterness overtake you as you'll be the one having to deal with such negative emotions. You may resent your ex, but you have to learn to let go so that it doesn't consume you.

24. Let the breakup affect your self-worth

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If you've ended a relationship, or been broken up with, you're bound to be feeling low. It can massively impact your self-confidence, but never allow a breakup to affect your self-worth. Don't attach your self-worth to your ex, or the relationship. Because you're worth SO much more!

25. Idealize them

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When we are in the midst of a breakup we naturally have a tendency to idealize our ex, thinking we'll never get over them and wondering if we will ever find somebody who has some of the traits that we love in them. But this is our brain dramatizing and idealizing them when the reality is very different.

26. Expect to feel better immediately

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It's very unlikely that you're going to feel immediately better after a breakup or get over your ex within a couple of weeks. So stop thinking that this is how you should feel because putting that kind of unrealistic expectation on yourself will make you feel worse when you don't yet start to get over them! It takes time!

27. Pretend you are fine

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Nobody is expecting you to be fine after a breakup, so why do we put the pressure on ourselves to be and act fine? And why, when someone asks us how we do we reply by saying 'I'm fine'. Stop pretending and then you can use the emotional support that other people are giving you to help you through this!

28. Close yourself off from future relationships

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Never again. I'm done with relationships. These statements and feelings are so normal during a breakup. But don't let the breakup cloud your judgment for too long because it could interfere with your establishing relationships in the future, whether these are friendships or romantic relationships.

29. Think that your ex was the same as everyone

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'They're all the same'...we've probably all momentarily written off an entire gender just because one person has hurt us before. We immediately think that everybody could hurt us or treat us the same. But it's not the case and everybody is different and it's super important to keep this perspective even during a breakup!

30. Stop looking after yourself

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Whilst dealing with a breakup the last thing you are thinking about is how many days it's been since you washed your hair or the fact that your clothes need a wash and you're starting to smell a little bit funky. But the truth is while it's understandable, this makes you feel so much worse. Don't neglect yourself and continue to look after your emotional and physical well-being!