12+ Red Flags In Men We Shouldn’t Ignore

Lack of respect- the bare minimum doesn't exist

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It's important to note that red flags in individuals, can indicate potential issues in your relationship/within their behavior. These can be warning signs of flaws within their personality, which shouldn't be ignored. For example, he consistently disrespects your boundaries, opinions or feelings.

Controlling behavior- you feel like a puppet

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Controlling behavior is another key red flag to look out for. This kind of behavior can take on many forms, including: controlling your actions, decisions and who you can and can't interact with. Behavior like this can create a strong source of conflict within your relationship.

Verbal/physical aggression- physical and mental damage

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If man exhibits aggressive and/or violent behavior, on a regular basis, then this is a major red flag. This can take on physical or verbal forms, and can be passive or direct e.g. he may hit inanimate objects around you, or he shouts verbal abuse directly at you.

Excessive jealousy- who are you texting?

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Jealousy can be detrimental to any relationship, whether it is intended or subconscious. If you find that your partner becomes excessively jealous or possessive, without much reason, this should signal an end to the relationship. Possessive behavior is extremely toxic and damaging.

Inconsistent behavior- its a love-hate relationship

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Inconsistencies within a man's behavior, can be a great signal of a red flag. Sometimes these inconsistencies can be subtle, however they can progress overtime, into something completely unavoidable. A great example of an inconsistency, would be his actions not matching his words or promises.

Secretive about his past- you don't need to know about that

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When you initially start speaking/seeing someone, it is natural for you to take time to open up and trust them. However, if you find that your partner is secretive about his past, especially when it regards past relationships, this can be red flag. It is definitely a signal to not trust his intentions.

Financial irresponsibility- hey, can I borrow some money?

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Financial irresponsibility can be a big source of conflict within a relationship, whether it is coming from one or both partners. For many people, this is something that can be worked through. However, if it is consistent then it is most definitely a red flag e.g. excessive debt and/or irresponsible spending.

Substance abuse- it just gives me a really good buzz

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Substance abuse is a sensitive topic, especially if someone is still within active addition/use. In some circumstances, this can be a major red flag; especially if the abuse is 'recreational', and he doesn't seem interested in seeking any kind of help for his problem.

Lying- I don't know what you're talking about

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Lying is one of the biggest red flags when interacting with a man. If he frequently lies, even about small things, then this can be sign of him being untrustworthy. Even if you catch him within one of his lies, he will deny any of his actions and general behavior.

Disrespect towards women- shut up woman!

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If he demonstrates a lack of respect, or disdain for women in general, you should cut him out of your life. This lack of respect may be subtle, or it can be completely obnoxious and misogynistic. Either way, it is clear that this man does not value anything that a woman says or does.

Isolating behavior

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Isolating behavior is another major red flag to look out for. It can be difficult to pick up on, as the actions can (initially) come across as 'harmless'. However, if you find that he is isolating you from your friends and family, this should not be ignored. He is trying to make you dependent on him.

Manipulation

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Manipulation is another tactic that he may use, in order to get his way in certain situations. This kind of behavior is extremely damaging, and can lead to negative impacts on your physical and mental health. He may twist the narrative surrounding arguments etc. to make you feel inferior.

Unwillingness to compromise

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Compromise is an important element within any relationship/connection, and an inability to do so is a major red flag. This unwillingness to compromise will typically occur during disagreements or arguments, and will leave you feeling as if you're talking to a brick wall.

Lack of empathy

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A lack of empathy is a clear red flag, as it showcases a man's reluctance to understand your feelings. This lack of empathy may affect you the most, but it can also affect the people around you e.g. friends, family and work colleagues. If he fails to make amendments to his behavior, you need to cut him out of your life!

Unreliability

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Unreliability refers to a man frequently breaking commitments, and/or promises (no matter who he made these commitments/promises to). This can include anything, from: cancelling dates, running late to dates and being reluctant to message you regularly.

Emotional unavailability

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Emotional unavailability, refers to a man being emotionally distant, as well as being unable to communicate about his feelings. Conversations regarding emotions, and feelings in general, are a source of dismissal for this kind of man. He will be reluctant to open up to you, even if you have been dating for a long period of time.

Excessive self-centredness

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Excessive self-centredness, relates to a man consistently putting his needs and wants above your own. This kind of behavior just reflects his general disregard for your emotions, thoughts, opinions and safety. He will consistently come across as obnoxious and arrogant.

Racism/homophobia/bigotry

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Any behavior and language that reflects racist, homophobic and/or misogynistic views, should deter you from even engaging in any initial conversation with a man. This discrimination and bigotry should not be supported, and he should be made aware of the consequences these beliefs have.

Excessive arrogance

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Excessive arrogance is often a sign of narcissistic behavior, which is an extremely damaging personality trait to have. Arrogance is never an attractive aspect of a person's personality, especially in relation to speaking with a man. Yet again, this is one of the easier red flags to spot, so it should not be ignored.

Blaming others

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Blaming others is a massive flaw within an individual's personality, and showcases a complete lack of care, when it comes to said individual's actions and behavior. A man that consistently blames others for his problems or mistakes, is a walking red flag.

Workaholic

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Having a good work-life balance is key to maintaining any form of healthy relationship/connection. If you find that the man you are speaking to/dating prioritizes work over everything else, this is definitely a red flag. This 'workaholic' attitude is detrimental to the relationship.

Failure to communicate

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Failure to communicate, refers to a man avoiding conversations regarding important issue and emotions. He can be completely dismissive of these kind of conversations, unless it involves his emotions and personal issues. He will also attempt to victim-blame and gaslight you during these conversations.

Inability to handle conflict

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Reacting poorly to disagreements or conflict is a potential red flag, dependent on the behavior and actions of the individual. However, a complete irrational approach to disagreements, is often a red flag. This can vary from person-to-person e.g. screaming, shouting, walking away or gaslighting you.

Disregard for your safety

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A disregard for your safety should be the biggest signal of a man being a terrible person. This includes the endangerment of your physical and/or emotional well-being. This kind of behavior can also range in severity, and will worsen over longer periods of time.

Avoidance of commitment

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Commitment issues are one of the biggest red flags for a man to showcase, especially if you have been speaking to him for a prolonged period of time. Whenever the topic of progressing the relationship is brought up, he will attempt to deflect from the conversation.

Unrealistic expectations

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It is natural to have some basic expectations, for the way your partner acts and treats you. Despite this, there are some people that have unrealistic expectations for themselves and other people. If a man has unrealistic or unreasonable expectations of you, this should not be ignored.

Insecure attachment

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Anxious and/or insecure attachment within a relationship is extremely toxic, and can be detrimental to your physical and mental well-being. This kind of attachment is relatively easy to pick up on, as it involves clingy and/or insecure behavioral traits.

Constant negativity

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There are certain situations and events within life, where negativity and pessimistic thinking are deemed normal. However, if you find that a man is constantly showcasing negative thoughts, feelings and opinions, it is probably best to cut ties with him (especially if this negative attitude is directly impacting you).

Avoidance of responsibility

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Taking responsibility for your actions and general behavior, is an important trait to develop and practice. As you've probably already guessed, an avoidance of this is a big red flag. If he doesn't take responsibility for his actions, this is a sign that he is emotionally immature.

Refusal to seek help

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A refusal to seek help or therapy (when needed), especially for issues like anger management or substance abuse, is one of the biggest red flags a man can showcase. It is natural for there to be some initial reluctance regarding this, but a complete refusal to seek help is extremely damaging.