Harmful Things Parents Do to Their Kids Without Realizing It

1. You're trying to protect your kids from pain

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While shielding kids from pain may seem like a loving instinct, it can have unintended consequences. Avoiding all discomfort denies them the chance to learn resilience and problem-solving skills. When parents constantly intervene to solve every problem, kids grow up unprepared to face adversity as adults.

2. Underestimating their feelings

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Kids often cry over seemingly insignificant things, but dismissing their emotions can be harmful. Telling them, "It's not a big deal," diminishes their real feelings and discourages emotional expression. Instead, validate their emotions and help them understand and cope with their feelings.

3. Excessive screen time

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With the rise of tablets and screens, it's essential to limit screen time for children. Excessive exposure to blue light emitted by screens can cause physical symptoms like headaches, eye strain, and poor behavior. It can also disrupt their sleep patterns. Encourage outdoor play and engage them in other activities to reduce their screen time.

4. Over-control and lack of autonomy

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Being an authoritative figure is necessary, but being overly controlling can be detrimental to your children. Allowing little to no choice stifles a child's independence and happiness. Find a balance between guidance and letting them make age-appropriate decisions to foster their growth and confidence.

5. Encouraging high-impact sports

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While sports have many benefits, certain high-impact sports pose significant risks. Activities like American football, boxing, and wrestling can result in brain damage and serious injuries. Avoiding these sports and opting for safer alternatives helps protect children from long-term harm.

6. Using guilt as a manipulation tool

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Using guilt trips to get kids to comply may seem effective, but it can have negative consequences. Children who internalize guilt may become vulnerable to manipulation in the future. Instead, promote healthy communication, understanding, and negotiation to resolve conflicts.

7. You're emotionally unavailable

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Children need emotional support and presence from their parents. Constantly being distracted or stressed out diminishes their emotional development. Be present, actively listen, and provide emotional support to foster healthy relationships and emotional well-being.

8. You're encouraging the W sitting position

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Although sitting in a W position may seem comfortable for kids, it can negatively impact their development. This sitting posture can affect their leg joints, hip bones, and trunk muscles and put a strain on their back, neck, and shoulders. Encourage them to sit in alternative positions to promote proper development.

9. You allow them to jump on trampolines

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Trampolines may seem like fun and innocent play equipment, but they can pose serious risks to children. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises against having trampolines in households with children. Injuries resulting from trampoline use are common and can include broken bones, head injuries like concussions, and even severe trauma leading to permanent brain damage or death. It's best to avoid trampolines altogether and explore safer alternatives for outdoor play.

10. You don't believe in playground safety

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Playgrounds are fun, but parents should provide supervision to ensure their child's safety. Climbing on playground equipment, although exciting, poses a risk of falls and serious injuries. Watch out for potential hazards and ensure your child follows playground rules to prevent accidents.

11. Hitting them

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It should go without saying that hitting a child is never acceptable. There is a clear distinction between spanking and abuse. If you choose to spank your child, it should be done lightly and not in anger; however, it's important to note that many experts argue against any form of physical punishment. If an action would lead to your arrest if done to an adult, it should not be done to your child.

12. You think your kid's safer if you go on the slide with them

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While it may seem safer, sliding down with a child on your lap can be dangerous. The additional weight and speed can cause severe injuries if the child's arm or shoe gets caught. It's best to let them slide independently, ensuring their safety and avoiding potential fractures.

13. You're being overly critical

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Constant criticism can severely impact a child's self-esteem and motivation. Overly critical parents overlook their child's efforts, causing discouragement and feelings of inadequacy. Provide constructive feedback and praise their achievements to foster their self-confidence.

14. Treating them like adults

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Children should be treated as children, not as adults. Unhealthy families sometimes have unrealistic expectations for their children, treating them as peers or even expecting them to take on adult responsibilities. This can lead to a distorted parent-child dynamic and place unnecessary pressure on the child. It's important to allow children to have a childhood and develop at their own pace without burdening them with adult concerns or responsibilities.

15. Lack of consistent discipline

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Inconsistent discipline can lead to confusion and frustration for children. Establish clear rules and consequences, and ensure they are consistently enforced. This provides structure and helps children understand boundaries, promoting their overall development.

16. You call them names

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It's true that words can have a significant impact on people, regardless of age. Negative and hurtful words, especially from a parent, can deeply damage a child's emotional well-being. Calling someone names or using hurtful language during an argument sets a negative example and can create an unhealthy dynamic within the family. Children learn from their parents' behavior and emulate it in their own interactions.

17. Overburdening your child with activities

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While extracurricular activities are beneficial, overburdening children with a packed schedule can lead to burnout and stress. Allow them to have downtime and balance their activities with free play and relaxation. This promotes their overall well-being and prevents exhaustion.

18. Comparing them to others

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Constantly comparing your children to their peers or siblings can damage their self-esteem and create unhealthy competition. Celebrate their individual strengths and encourage them to focus on personal growth rather than comparing themselves to others.

19. Allowing them unhealthy food choices

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A balanced and nutritious diet is crucial for a child's physical and cognitive development. Avoid excessive consumption of sugary snacks, fast food, and processed foods. Encourage healthy eating habits by providing a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins.

20. Playing the Chubby Bunny game with them

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While playing games with your children can be a fun and engaging way to spend time together, it's important to prioritize their safety. The Chubby Bunny game involves trying to fit an increasing number of marshmallows in your mouth while saying "chubby bunny," and while it may seem innocent and entertaining, it carries significant chocking risks: Children may inadvertently inhale or choke on a marshmallow.

21. Letting them mow the lawn alone

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It is strongly advised against letting young children mow the lawn alone. Lawnmowers, both push and riding ones, are heavy and dangerous machines, and children can easily get injured if they get too close to the machinery. There have been cases of children falling from their parent's lap and sustaining injuries or getting trapped under the mower. Additionally, cut grass can cause eye injuries.

22. Exposing your child to secondhand smoke

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Secondhand smoke is harmful to children's health, increasing the risk of respiratory problems, asthma, and other illnesses in both the short and long term. Avoid smoking around children and ensure they are in a smoke-free environment to protect their health.

23. Overemphasizing academic achievement

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While education is important, solely focusing on academic achievement can create excessive pressure and stress for children. Encourage a healthy balance between academic pursuits, extracurricular activities, and personal interests. Foster a love for learning and personal growth rather than solely chasing grades.

24. Letting them play in dirt

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Children's love for playing in dirt should be balanced with caution. The main concern is exposure to lead, which can harm their health, and although lead-based paint in houses has been banned, there are still places with peeling lead paint, such as barns, garages, and old houses. Children can be exposed to this poisonous metal that can cause brain damage and long-term health issues if they play in the soil near these areas.

25. You call your child fat

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Calling your child fat is extremely harmful and can negatively affect their self-esteem and body image. Remember, children are still developing and growing; their bodies come in all shapes and sizes. Making negative comments about their weight can lead to self-consciousness, low self-esteem, and potentially the development of unhealthy relationships with food and body image.

26. Riding the bike without a helmet

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Riding a bike can be a fun and independent activity for children, but it can also be risky if safety precautions are ignored. Just like adults, children should always wear helmets while cycling. Wearing a helmet is crucial as it protects the head in case of a fall and can prevent severe brain injuries. It is also important to never let your child ride unsupervised. Make cycling a family activity and set a good example by wearing your own helmet.

27. Allowing them to witness unhealthy parental conflict

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Exposing children to constant parental conflict can negatively impact their emotional well-being. Strive for healthy communication and conflict resolution in front of your children. If conflicts arise, handle them respectfully and consider seeking professional help if needed.

28. You neglect to give them physical affection

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Physical affection, such as hugs, kisses, and cuddles, is crucial for a child's emotional well-being. Show them love and support through physical gestures, which help foster a strong parent-child bond and promote their sense of security and belonging.

29. Allowing the kid to stand on chairs

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Allowing children to stand on chairs is one of the leading causes of injuries, especially among toddlers. Kids are naturally curious and love to climb, but falling from a high chair can result in head trauma and concussions. Specialists recommend strapping children into meal chairs to prevent them from standing up. It's also important to always supervise them since there's a risk of them kicking off from the table and knocking over the chair.

30. Comparing them to their sibling

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Sibling rivalry already exists without parents fueling it. Comparing your children to each other, especially if they are close in age and the same gender, can be detrimental. If one child struggles in school, refrain from saying things like, "Your brother did okay." Your children already know their siblings' abilities, and comparing them only adds unnecessary pressure and can lower their self-esteem.

31. Being too affectionate in public

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We spoke about how it's so important to show your children affection, and physical closeness from time to time, but one mistake parents can make is to give them too much affection in public. Depending on their age, they could easily get made fun of if you do it in front of their friends!

32. When you try and be the 'cool' parent

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There's being a cool parent, and then there's doing everything you can to be that cool parent. Dressing like a kid, keeping up with the latest trends or acting like you're their friend instead of parent won't make you cool - because you can never really be cool in their eyes! It's not cool to be relaxed about rules and not discipline them when needed!

33. Spending too much time on your own phone

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Letting your child have too much screen time can be harmful, but it can be just as harmful to spend a ton of time on your own phone! Adults can be glued to their phone even more than kids, so if your child is seeing you do that, they're only going to copy you. Not only that, but it's more important to give your child attention rather than your phone screen.

34. Not letting them have fast food at all

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Letting your kid eat too much junk food, as we know, is a huge no-no - but denying them any fast food at all can be harmful too! Kids need to enjoy fast food at some point during their childhood, because it's just part of growing up to grab a kid's meal and a toy from the drive thru! Not letting them have a single piece of fast food at any point can be a little too strict.

35. Taking pictures of them ALL THE TIME

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We know how important it is to take photos of your children growing up, because these are important memories you'll want to look back on. But taking a photo every single second of the day just means you might tap out of actually being in the moment with them - plus they're going to grow up thinking having a camera shoved in their face is normal.

36. And then putting them all online

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There's nothing wrong with sharing the odd family snap in a safe social space online, or if you have a private profile. But if you're plastering your kids photos all over the place online without any privacy measures, and especially when they're young and vulnerable, it can be a risk - you don't know who's looking!

37. Believing them when they said they don't need your help

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When kids are growing up, they can start to set boundaries and try to find their own independence. But a lot of the time when kids say they don't need your help, they're just being stubborn and they actually do. Giving them a chance to do things themselves is important, but watching them struggle whilst refusing to help at all can do more harm than good!

38. Raising your voice too much

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Discipling your kids is of course important, but you can go about it the wrong way. Shouting all the time, even over the simplest things, can only serve to make your kid more upset rather than helping them to understand what they did wrong. Keeping calm whilst telling your child when they're naughty is better than just shouting at them all the time.

39. Missing key moments in their life

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We know that sometimes unexpected things happen - you might get stuck in traffic or unable to make your kid's after school show because of an emergency - but it all depends how often it keeps happening. You might think choosing work over their accomplishments helps to teach them responsibility and that hard work is important, but really it's just showing them that their own stuff doesn't matter.

40. Treating family dinner like an interview

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We know how important family dinner around the table is, and especially away from any distracting screens, but there's a limit to how much you should push your child! Asking them about their day is important, but grilling them and pushing them when they give one word answers won't make them more receptive to socializing - it'll just make them hate forced dinner conversation!

41. Asking their friends too many questions, too

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If your kid has their friend round, whether to hang out or around the dinner table, it also isn't a good thing for you to interrogate their friends instead! Sure, you want to know who your kid is hanging around with, but asking them a bunch of questions is just going to make everyone feel uncomfortable.

42. Complaining too much about money in front of them

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It's normal to complain about bills to be paid or being short this month, we get it - but you might not even realize how much you're complaining in front of your kids! Always complaining about bills in front of them is a negative environment, and complaining about how you don't have any money spare because you have kids is even worse!

43. Forcing them to eat their vegetables

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It's so important to encourage your child to eat healthily, and it's very difficult to get them interested in something green that doesn't taste particularly great. But the more you push and stress about them eating the green stuff - "you're not leaving this table until you've eaten your broccoli" - is only going to make them less likely to eat it!

44. Showing lack of enthusiasm for their basic toys

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When your kid shows you their Lego construction for the millionth time that day, it can be exhausting to act excited - especially when it doesn't look that good, let's face it. But to them, it's the coolest thing in the world, and they want to share it with the person they love the most! So if you let the truth show on your face, they're going to start thinking it's not worth showing you.

45. Trying to be funny when you're not

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Being a funny parent is a good thing, when you're naturally funny - trying your hardest every minute of the day to be funny and turning every single thing you say into a joke is going to be exhausting for your child. While 'dad jokes' can be a groan-laugh type vibe, constantly doing it can actually put them off even wanting to talk to you!

46. Making your kids do what you always wanted to do

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It's one thing to learn from your own mistakes and try to give your kids the opportunity to do what you never did - it's another thing entirely to try and live through them, and force them into a life you wanted, regardless of what they actually want. You might think you're doing what's best for them, but the opposite is often true!

47. Bugging them on social media

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If your kids are old enough to have social media and use it responsibly, you might be embarrassing them publicly, or invading their privacy, by constantly checking or commenting on whatever they post. For some kids, it might even be pushing it if you're friends on social media and following them.

48. Telling them how hard you had it in comparison

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We all know by now how much older people love to tell 'the youth of today' how they had it when they were the same age - but if you're a parent who is constantly belittling your child's opinion or experience by saying that it can't be as bad as what you went through (living without a car, without phones etc.) it's only going to breed resentment.

49. Being just as close in public as you are in private

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Your child might be very willing to open up to you in private and tell you a ton of personal stuff, as well as being open with affection such as with hugs and cuddles. But they might have boundaries whilst out in public - which doesn't mean they love you any less - and it can be an issue if you expect them to be as intimate with you out in crowd, as they are in private.

50. Disrupting their game play

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This all depends on the situation of course, because if you've asked them a million times to do their chores and they're misbehaving and ignoring you to play video games, you have every right to do what you see fit! But if your kid is in the middle of a game and hasn't done anything wrong, and you unplug it, stand in front of the tv or disrupt, it can cause a bunch of problems. Some games don't let you pause, some games may have moments you can only experience once and you've just blocked them from seeing it... it can actually be worse than you think! And they won't thank you for it.