How To Know If You’re Being Romance Frauded

2 years ago

1. They Want To Know All About You

Image source EquifaxA romance scammer will be eager to get to know you as well as they possibly can in order to leverage this information further down the line. They will ask you loads of questions, appear very interested in your responses but steer clear from answering any questions about themselves.

2. They Are Confident To The Extent Of Bragging

Image Source Daily Mail

A romance fraudster may claim that they have a powerful, high-ranking job which keeps them away from home for long periods of time. The reason for this is so they can make it seem authentic when it comes to them requesting you send them money and why you can't do it in person.

3. The Real Life Romance Scam

Image source HealthlineBesides the long distance so called relationship, there is the real life romance fraudster. The perpetrator and the innocent person who is looking for love do physically meet and they have what one of them believes is a real relationship that even leads to marriage and children. It's all fake though as the fraudster will live off the victim until the money runs out and then disappear.

4. The Sugar Mama Or Sugar Daddy

Image source Daily MailSugar mamas and sugar daddies prey on younger people such as students, nurses, teachers and single parents, who might be in need of extra cash. They offer them money because they say they are lonely and can afford it and use a stolen card to give payment. It's not sexual but conversations change so the victim falls for that person and when asked for the money back, for made-up reasons, the victim agrees and then parts with their own cash that they can ill-afford.

5. The Widow Or Widower

Image source ExperianAs with many other romance scams, this is all about the money and the scammer's pleas are likely to be to pay medical expenses. These fraudsters are likely to prey on widows or widowers. They pretend to be offering the illusion of romance but also an extended family which the victim falls for if they are lonely.

6. You Feel Like You've Met Your Soul Mate

Image source BBCYou appear to have the same interests, the same ideas and the same desires. It sounds like a match made in heaven but it’s no coincidence. The perpetrator has studied you on social media, has figured out what you are looking for in a partner and fashioned him- or herself into precisely what you are looking for. When you've fallen hook, line and sinker, you don't have an issue in handing over funds for legitimate reasons - except they're not.

7. It's A Whirlwind Romance

Image source WeddingbeeThe romance scammer showers you with affection and attention. He or she contacts you all the time and quickly makes plans for the future. You think it’s love, but in reality it's love bombing. The objective is to get you emotionally hooked before you can escape. Once you've been manipulated, they will expect it to be a case of 'what's yours is theirs.'

8. They Profess Love Without Even Meeting You

Image source Times Of IndiaBuilding up a relationship online, by phone or even letter is fine as far as making friendships goes. However, when the scammer uses the 'L' word when they want to take their fraud to the next level, it should ring alarm bells with the victim .... but it often does not. They have put trust into them and believe what they say. Loving someone without meeting them is extremely rare.

9. The Romance Fraudster Needs Money For An Emergency!

Image source iNewsThere have been many reported stories over the years of intelligent, sensible people getting caught up in a romance fraud. Common sense can go out of the window where matters of the heart are concerned. When the scammer says they are desperate for money for a medical emergency or pay for a loved one's funeral, it seems so real.

10. It Doesn't Add Up But Love Is Blind

Image source AutoshippersWhen the fraudster does their best to avoid personal questions about themselves it should bring up a red flag. When they feel they should contribute something about their life to keep up the charade, they may, for example, say they are university educated and yet their grammar and spelling are very poor. The victim might choose to overlook this, thus burying their head in the sand.

11. Online Romance Scammers Want You To Leave Dating Site

Image source NetsafeOften, scammers try to convince victims to leave the dating site and use their personal email or instant messaging instead to continue communication. At first, this might seem genuine but beware. If they ask for your phone number or email address then this makes it even easier for them to access your personal information.

12. They Tell You To Keep Relationship Private

Image source History ExtraA common tactic with romance fraudsters is to make sure the victim keeps their relationship private. They may suggest doing this so the two of them can just enjoy each other's company but of course, it's so family members don't get suspicious and find them out for what they really are.

13. Their Profile Picture Is Too Good To Be True

Image source FreepikA person looking online for love (and why not) is going to be taken in by a good looking available person, even though they might say looks aren't everything and it's about the person and maybe, their sense of humour. That flag should be waving though when the profile picture looks like a model or a ridiculously stunning person.

14. Plans Are Made For Them To Visit But It Never Happens

Image source Daily Express If an online love interest makes plans to visit but constantly changes their plans at the last second because of a traumatic event, business loss or family drama, this should definitely be taken as suspicious behaviour. The victim is disappointed, gets over it and then groundhog day again!

15. THEY Want To Send YOU Money

Image source Small WorldSurely this must be a legitimate relationship when the fraudster wants to send money to his 'loved one'. They might say they want you to keep it in your account for when you build a life together. In reality, they will be using stolen cash, have somewhere to store it and can then cipher it back off when the time is right.

16. They Seem To Be In Another Country

Image source Daily Mail

One of the scenarios that romance scammers use is that they are stuck somewhere abroad on a business trip and, what a surprise, they don’t have access to their bank accounts. Scam victims are asked to send money internationally, to pay for an alleged visa. Once that's done, they disappear from your life.

17. They Won't Video Chat

Image source The New York TimesThere’s a reason why people say your eyes are the windows to your soul. Someone who doesn’t want to show you their face can’t be trusted. Sly scammers who will use video chat with victims will sit in low light rooms that make it nearly impossible to clearly see their faces. Others will make up a reason why they can't use video chat.

18. They’re Experiencing A Tragedy

Image source Travel Off Path

Of course they are .... not! It sounds cynical but scammers will often tell you that they have become recently bereaved or that someone they are close to is seriously ill. This makes you feel sorry for them and eager to help so mission accomplished for them.

19. Their Social Media Account Is Vague

Image source Reader's DigestIf someone requests you be friends with them on Facebook, one of the first things you would probably do is check your mutual friends. A scammer won't have any, unless they are defrauding one of your pals as well. Their photos will be very generic as will their comments.

20. You Do A Reverse Image Search But ....

Image source PCMagIf someone is starting to have doubts about whether the relationship they have entered into is legitimate, it's easy to do a reverse image search on your smartphone or electronic device. If their profile picture seems to belong to someone else, then you've answered your own question. However, the fraudster could come up with a reason why this is happened and they are professional at being believable.

21. They Say They Are In The U.S. Army

Image source Daily ExpressBagging a U.S. Military Person would be the dream of many and the fact they have picked you from all the thousands of others online, makes you feel so special. That feeling can overpower the fact that the Army person, alias the scammer, is going to tell you they have been posted overseas and would you send money so they can come over to see you because they are desperate for you to meet up.

22. The Story Changes

Image source Los Angeles TimesIf they can't keep their story straight or they are puzzled when you mention something they talked about previously, it's fair to say that's not a good sign. Scammers don't always work alone and it could be a joint effort by a group that are trying to ensnare you into their trap.

23. They Ask For Specific Payment Methods

Image source Magnum

Be cautious if your cyber sweetheart kindly asks you to send them money via a preloaded gift card or a newly established bank account in your own name that they have access to. These are both ways to get money while remaining totally anonymous. Also, it's harder to reverse a payment using these methods.. Once you send a little bit of money, they might even ask for more. If you say no, their messages may get desperate and aggressive.

24. More Money Is Never Enough

Image source Business InsiderOnce your true love has extorted money from you a couple of times, their next plan of action kicks in. They need larger sums of money (from the life savings you told them you had) and it's all for good reason - to invest in a sure-proof scheme that will cement your relationship for ever.

25. Loans And Re-Mortgage In Your Name

Image source Contract CalculatorSo the person you now see as your next life partner because they are everything you ever wanted and more besides, thinks it's a good idea to pool your savings together for that fantastic future that's awaiting. The fraudster is putting in £100,000 and you can't match it. They say if you really loved them you'd get those funds and they suggest loans and even re-mortgaging your house. It sounds like a kid of 5 would see through it but a vulnerable person, now totally controlled, is likely to go ahead.

26. Holiday Romance Was So Much More

Image source Local SpainHolidays are a time for relaxation and enjoyment - you are away from your normal hum drum life Holiday romances are usually holiday flings which go no further but a romance scammer will, strangely, tell you they've fallen for you in a big way and want to keep in touch when you get home. Of course they do because there is an agenda, to steal your heart and steal your money.

27. Fake Dating Sites

Image source QuoraFake dating sites look real, have a great selection of good looking singles, leading exotic lifestyles and they want someone to share it with. Funny how EVERYONE seems appealing! Once you are signed up and ready to have contact with your first date, the cogs of the romance wheel start rolling until you are trapped under them.

28. There Are The Two 'D' - Doctors Or Developer

Image source Vista CreateOf course, it's good to meet someone who is either a professional person or somebody who has lots of cash to spend on you. Romance scammers know this so they will often invent an occupation to impress you and drop in stories of their medical consultancy or private yacht. Like 'Phone Jacker', they are probably sat in a dingy office or their kitchen at home, relaying these stories.

29. Blackmail And Extortion

Image source ForbesA fraudster stealing your life savings is absolutely terrible and unfortunately if it goes to the next level, this can be the thing that breaks the camel's back. We're talking blackmail and extortion. When you realise the person you've been building a relationship with is not who they say they are, they can threaten to use sensitive photos and videos. If this is the case, you should go straight to the police.

30. If It's Too Good To Be True ....

Image source PinterestIt's easy to let your heart rule your head, especially if you are lonely, widowed or the kids have grown up and left the nest and you feel lonely. Romance fraudsters prey on good people like this. If you discuss a new relationship or the prospect of one with a good friend, they will be more likely to see what you don't - that you're being ripped off.

31. Everything Seems Rushed

Image source/ RedditIf you've got the rest of your lives with this personas they say you have - then what's the rush. But straight away things will start to move extremely quickly. They'll rush all of the normal processes that you usually do when getting to know someone or starting out an ordinary relationship.

32. The Whole World Is Against Them

Image source/ RedditWhat you'll hear from the scammer (maybe not at first) is woe is me... Everything will be stacked up against them, life has not been fair of them. All of this is a manipulation technique to prey on your emotions and get you to feel sorry enough for them to send over your money.

33. They'll Never Disagree With You

Image source/ PinterestIn a normal relationship, even if you're just speaking to someone, you won't agree on every single point. It's not realistic. In fact, it's good to have some differences. But you'll find that the scammer will agree with everything you say so that you think it's fate because the two of you are so well suited.

34. Mr/Mrs Perfect

Image source/ RedditNobody's perfect... but they'll make you think they are. This is so that you'll overlook anything that they ask of you. They'll pose themselves as the ideal boyfriend, saying the right things and pretending that they are doing the right things making it look like they are Mr or Mrs perfect.

35. You'll No Longer Feel Lonely

Image source/ PinterestThey target people who usually are quite lonely or vulnerable. But, they'll be there to message you and gain your trust and make you feel like they will always be there - of course this is all lies. But they will make you feel you are not lonely as long as they have you.

36. It Gets Personal Very Fast

Image source/ YouTubeWithin a week or two you've somehow poured out your heart and your entire life story to them including your deepest desires. They want this to use against you and manipulate you without you even realising

37. They make you feel like they need you

Image source/ Blogspot The trick that scammers are so good at doing, is making you feel like they need you. They will pretend that you are though only person looking out for them, therefore the responsibility is all on you to help them. This makes it easier for them to con money out of the person.

38. Check other dating profiles!

Image source/ cbsType in the name they have given from you and try it in multiple dating sites. Then, if they have told you they have deleted their accounts you can double check to see if they were lying. And, you can see if they are on many other sites. Remember, they probably have various fake identities.

39. Wheedling information

Image source/ waternpark They are very clever and subtle at wheedling information out of you. For example they'll want to know what assets you've got. But they won't ask outright to avoid your suspicion. Instead they'll do it in a round about way so that you've not even realised you've revealed everything.

40. Spinning The Sob Story

Image source/ RedditThis is put blame from themselves onto someone else who has caused their hardship and put them in a difficult position so that when they do ask for money, you feel sorry for them because you believe they have been wronged by other people in their life.

41. The Oil Riggers

Image source/ historyofoilAnother very commonly used story is that the scammer is an oil rigger who has a lot of wealth and will flaunt this to you. But, they'll still ask for financial demands. They will have this spun out story that they are away working on the oil rigs and this is why they cannot see you.

42. Working in teams

Image source/ calOften, scammers are working in teams. Particularly, this has been found when the scammers use the cover story of working for the oil rigs. They have teams of scammers who all take a cut of the money that you send. Its is not always just one person who has set out to scam you but multiple people.

43. Emotional Blackmail

Image source/ RedditThey will continue this story and eventually is will probably come to a similar kind of conclusion. When using the oil rig story for example, someone will contact you saying they've been in a life threatening accident and need you to help pay their medical expenses to save their life.

44. The International Businessman

Image source/ RedditAnother common fraud story is that the scammer is an international businessman. This is why they cannot be with you right now because they have lots of business to attend to abroad. They are apparently very wealthy and can't wait to get home to you and build a life together. All of which is of course, part of the scam.

45. The requests come thick and fast

Image source/ Apple InsiderThese scammers want quick and easy money, they want someone else to do the hard work of earning it for them. So, when it comes to scamming they waste no time in requesting money. These could start as soon as two days into speaking.

46. They Might Start With Small Amounts

Image source/ Redditthe start, the scammer may ask for small amounts occasionally. For example £20, $50, $100. But then this will increase. This happens so that you do not feel it is too much to give. But, then once you have given one lot sometimes people feel as though they are trapped into an unofficial agreement.

47. They want a LOT

Image source/ YouTubeThe scammers want to take everything they can from you. They do not care about your position, whether you are struggling and cannot afford it or how hard you worked to save that money. They want your money, as quickly as possible and as much as possible.

48. Strange Typing

Image source/ PinterestThey'll probably claim to be from the USA, yet their typing might not match this. They may use awkward phrases. Scammers come from all over the world and so if their text typing does not seem to match where they said they came from it's a huge red flag!

49. 'Let's Get To Know Each Other Online'

Image source/ RedditLots of relationships start online now. But, even if you meet online, usually you only chat briefly before meeting each other in real life. But, the scammers will be 'unable' to meet you and so they will suggest that you get to know each other online first and then will eventually meet.

50. The Crypto Criminal

Image source/ techgeekThey will pressure and persuade you into purchasing crypto currency through a certain site. Yet they own the site which is not legitimate at all and so the money goes straight to you. It is a way of doing it so that it seems less obvious they are trying to dupe you.

51. Changes In Personality

Image source/ RedditThis person you are speaking to may seem to vary in personality. One reason for this is that there are multiple scammers talking to you and so their tone and personality seems to change. Another is that as time progresses some of the 'nicey nice' act may start to drop.

52. Excuses at the ready

Image source/ glamourAs we have already discussed, you'll never meet or even video call with that person but they'll be full of excuses at the ready each time you question them or each time they have to say no. These excuses may always be the same or they may vary each time.

53. They Express Their Trust In You

Image source/ PinterestThey will tell you things like that they trust you more than anyone else. Not only this a way for you to be more connected to them, it also makes you think that you can trust them too. Again it is emotional manipulation. They want you to trust them so they can scam you.

54. They Stay As Private As Possible

Image source/ RedditScammers of course want to stay as private as possible. And why they may make it seem as though they are telling you personal information, there will be topics where they seem extremely evasive. For example, where they live. They will never give you an address for example in case you travel there.

55. You End Up Trying To Explain Things Away

Image source/ RedditYou will probably start noticing more and more that things just don't add up, or that it seems too good to be true. But, because you already love this person or have a string attachment to them you may find yourself trying to explain away and justify their behaviour.

56. The photos are all 'polished' looking

Image source/ PinterestBecause they are not using their own photos, they have to take someone else's from online. However, nobody uploads photos online unless they think they look good or they are doing something cool. So you may ask for a photo when they are supposedly at home relaxing, but they won't be able to send a photo in this state.

57. They are always online

Image source/ ThisMorningThey might supposedly be doing an important work conference yet they may still be online. Online scammers work online and they will be working at scamming multiple people at a time. So if they seem to be always online or online at strange times it could be a red flag.

58. They Were Intent On You

Image source/ RedditOne of the reasons people fall for these scammers so instantly is because they are extremely flattered. They show us attention from the beginning and people feel as though they have been sought out because the person was so attracted to them and their dating profile.

59. They Know Exactly How You Should Send You Money

Image source/ RedditYou'd think if someone was getting thousands of pounds from someone, they wouldn't question or care about the way you want to send it. But due to all of the reasons we've initially discussed they have methods to make sure it is all as secret as possible.

60. Love Bombing

Image source/ RedditAs we know, this will feel like a complete whirlwind. They'll love bomb you so much that everything else will blur into insignificancy. Making huge statements like 'you're the only one I could ever love' are not something that are usually said until a long time into an established relationship - if at all! To the scammer, comments such as this will pour freely.