Love Expert Reveals How To Find The Perfect Partner

2 years ago

1. Learn To Love Yourself - it's the first step

Image source Get AdviceIf this is an issue for you, it's going to be the hardest step but if you can get over this blip by recognising your own qualities and thinking how you can improve, you’ll have lots of momentum to move forward and concentrate on having room to love another person.

2. Get Real About Your Dating Patterns - be honest with yourself

Image source Boldsky.comNow that you’ve learned to love yourself a little better and knowing it's not necessary to be perfect (perfect doesn't exist), it’s time to delve into your past. Firstly, be kind to your former self and as you look back at your previous serious relationships, you’ll start to recognise a pattern. You may notice that you picked people even thought you knew you couldn’t trust them or they weren't interested in your aspirations . Bear all this in mind.

3. Look For Someone Who Makes You Laugh - it's an attractive trait

Image source HelpGuide.orgWhen you are on the lookout for a partner, make sure that person has a good sense of humour. At the end of the day, you just want someone who you can wind down with and if the person has the tendency to remain miserable, it's not going to bode well for the future.

4. Be Yourself - and don't be apologetic for it

Image source Marriage.comThis step is fun because it is the ultimate filter. You are going to weed out people that aren’t a good fit for you and draw those in close that are perfect for you. It might rub some people up the wrong way, but if it does, be gone with them! This will give you confidence and attract the type of person you are looking for.

5. Learn From Your Experience - don't make same mistake

Image source HelpGuide.comHow much did your actions or those of your partner play a role in the end to those relationships? Each relationship teaches us lessons which are very vital in order to move ahead. Make a conscious effort to avoid people that remind you of your past. Give more weightage to the elements of the relationship that matter to you.

6. Ensure You Both Have Common Basics - similar values go a long way

Image source YourTangoAs much as you would like and expect your suitable partner to be a little different from you, you need to ensure that you both share similar values. Having shared values reinforces the foundation of your relationship. It's things like living within your means or how many children you'd eventually like that are important.

7. Opposites Attract - it's often the case

Image source BetterHelpWhile choosing the right partner for a long term partnership, it's often said that opposites attract. This is because when you look for a suitable partner, the things you might be missing are already there in the other person who draws you towards them. It's a way of making you feel whole.

8. Don't Settle For Less - because you're worth more

Image source GoodTherapyThere could be times when you will feel quite desperate about how to choose a life partner. You may want to compromise and settle for less than what you once wanted. Don't go down that road because, doing so, will not give you a feeling of fulfilment.

9. Check Communication Compatibility - it's good to talk

Image source The Ladies CoachIf you able to communicate well with your potential partner, this is a big positive. Communication is one of the important elements of a relationship and if you both are not able to comfortably talk and listen to each other, it either needs to be worked on or you should consider another choice.

10. Find A Good Human - first and foremost

Image source RedditAt one point, you will feel that you have found your suitable partner because they shower you with love, gifts, and compliments, but don't just accept this as being the perfect match for yourself. As time goes on, it will be what is going on inside that really matters.

11. Be Open To Dates - you can't predict if they're 'the one'

Image source Aish.comJust because you have had your heart broken in the past, this doesn’t mean you should lose hope. In order to choose the right guy or girl, you should shed your apprehensions and get yourself out there to meet new people. If you get asked out but aren't sure if you will be compatible, forget that thought as you never know if they may be the one.

12. Keep Negativity From Your Mind - before you meet up

Image source The New York TimesIn order to get real following negativity in your mind, you need to create space in your life. Create distance between you and the toxic people who may affect your judgment. Pick up on a hobby you dropped ages ago or start power walking, bringing good thoughts to the forefront. This behaviour will assist you in looking forward to your date.

13. Avoid Quick Decisions - give yourself time

Image source LovePankyJust because you are on a mission on how to choose a life partner, it doesn’t mean you have to make quick decisions as soon as you find someone good enough. Remember, all that glitters is not gold. Every person is different and it should be exciting delving through those layers.

14. Spend Lots Of Time Together - at different times and places

Image source Hindustan TimesIn the process of choosing a serious partner, mix it up a bit and meet at different times and different places, from brunches to dinner dates and from theme parks to the cinema. Seeing them in different settings and not at 8pm every time, will help you understand who they really are.

15. Choose Someone Who Respects You - it's a good grounding for the future

Image source BetterHelpIt is difficult to lead your life with someone who doesn't show you respect and down-plays any ambitions or dreams you may have. Select someone who will respect all aspects of your life and remember that mutual respect is one of the defining traits to look for in a life partner.

16. Remain Positive - easier to appreciate what's good in a partner

Image source Everyday PowerDon't start panicking when everyone around you appears to be in a committed relationship and you are struggling to find a suitable partner. The more negative you are, the more it will show up in your conversations and behaviour and this won't help you in your search.

17. Choose An Honest Life Partner - trust is key to a possible future together

Image source BustleIf a relationship is not encompassed in a culture of trust and honesty, it is not going to succeed. You should be looking for a partner who is open and genuine, happy to talk about their feelings and anything that might be troubling them. Tis brings couples closer together.

18. Ability For Them To Get On With Your Family - support from all sides

Image source LovePankyWhen you think you may have found Mr/Mrs Right, you will definitely want them to get on with your family as they will probably have always been a key support in your life. If your other half is not open in embracing their extended family, that might be the first alarm bells you start to hear.

19. Consider A Life Partner Who Supports Your Goals - a big sign of caring

Image source BustleA person willing to be in a long term relationship with you should show genuine support for your ambitions and goals in life. Your potential life partner should be supportive of all your plans, whether they are related to your career or a personal achievement. If they are not, they should, not be part of your future plans.

20. Assess Their Intellectual Capacity - similar to yours helps

Image source The Good Men ProjectIf you are a high achiever and intent in pursuing your dreams, you should consider a person with the same attributes and drive. A laid back person might cause problems in your relationship so, if you can, chose someone with similar intellectual prowess.

21. Nurture A Great Friendship - as important as love

Image source The Good Men ProjectHaving a network of true friends will provide you with perspective as you prepare for a relationship but you should also have a great friendship with the love of your life. Having a person who is both your friend and lover provides a basis for what love ought to be like.

22. Anger Management Skills - goes for both of you

Image source Marriage.comA relationship involves two people with unique personalities so there will be times when you might have ugly arguments in which negative emotions are running high. You might say hurtful things about one another. How your potential life partner reacts to anger reveals a lot about their future reactions. If your prospective partner can't handle anger well, the situation can get out of control when you get married.

23. Their Ability to Forgive And Forget - makes for a calm relationship

Image source HealthlineClosely related to anger management skills is the ability of your partner to forgive and forget. Love does not always revolve around sex and other intimate stuff. Arguments are deemed to occur in one way or another and you should be keen to get a partner who does not dwell on disagreements that happened in the past.

24. Consider The Rice Purity Test - it's brutal but worth it

Image source RedditHave you heard of this test before? It entails a set of 'have you ever' questions in which you are supposed to give a positive or negative response. The questions deal with issues such as sex and drugs and are supposed to assess your 'purity' level. It might sound like a bit of fun but is a good insight into the other person.

25. Willingness to Invest In Relationship - worth working on

Image source Marriage.comA relationship is a two-way street. Each party must be dedicated to make the relationship work. When choosing the right partner for marriage, select a person who allocates time for you and demonstrates concern for what you need. If they possess this trait, you're well on your way to happiness.

26. Don't Let Lust Be Your Guide - but it's part of the love goals

Image source HealthlinePeople have a tendency to put up with a lot of stuff they don't agree with from someone they are dating as long as they have chemistry with them. Magnetic chemistry has a strong power because it isn't something that happens that often but it does not excuse bad behaviour. As time goes on, it will start to bother you more and more.

27. Find someone you can be yourself around - no pretence to impress

Image source Reddit

This may sound like a cliche but it's true! Picking a partner where you feel like you can totally be yourself with no judgment and complete acceptance is a liberating feeling and a great thing. It makes you feel safe and comfortable because you don't have to keep a mask on.

28. Throw Out Your Checklist - it's life, not an exam!

Image source ExabeamMany people have long lists of what qualities their ideal partner HAS to have. If you box yourself in to this checklist, you are likely to miss out on some great matches. It's impossible to find the perfect person and unrealistic. If your partner is an all round good egg except for a couple of bad habits, it's because they're human and it shouldn't put you off.

29. Don't Commit Straight Away - it's not a race

Image source HealthlineIt can be tempting to jump into a serious relationship quickly when you find someone you have a fiery and instant connection with. However, you don't really know that person yet and you're still getting to know them emotionally. Take your time to get to know each other first.

30. Have Fun! - it speaks volumes

Image source LovePanky

The less pressure you put on yourself, the happier you are with yourself. In turn, the more at ease you are and this will create a space to attract the right kind of person to you. Sometimes it takes seeing a lot of what you don't want in your life to figure out what you definitely do want. Enjoy yourself!

31. Ignore The 'You'll Find Love When You Stop Looking' Approach

Image Source / CSO OnlineWe'd all like this to be the case like it is in romantic movies where fate just seems to take care of all the hard work for you, but in reality, it does require work and effort on your part to put yourself out there and surround yourself with the right people for the dating pool. So, you're more likely to find love when you do look for it!

32. And Maybe Ignore The 'If It's Meant To Be, It'll Happen' Mentality, Too

Image Source / John KehoeThere is some truth to this if you believe in things like that, and if it's meant to work out with a person love-wise then surely it will. But it can be dangerous to have this mentality, too, if it means you'll stop making an effort and not work to forge your own destiny!

33. Start Going To Public Places With Likeminded People

Image Source / TheCityFixYou may have a lot of great interests and hobbies, like reading, history, crochet or Netflix binging, but if you're doing all of this from home, you're never going to bump into anyone with the same interests. If you're looking for love, one of the first things you should do is go to public places that would have the kind of people you'd want to date.

34. Try To Avoid Always Looking At Your Phone When You're Out

Image Source / Eye Center Of TexasFor a lot of people, especially those with social anxiety, your phone can be a handy prop when you want to look busy during public transport or when out and about. But if your eyes are glued to your screen, you're not going to notice the people around you - including potential love matches who might be trying to catch your eye.

35. Look For A Partner, Not Romance

Image Source / SmallBusiness.co.ukThis may sound counterproductive, but if you're looking out for a soul mate, true love and whirlwind romance, the chances are you might miss the bigger long-term picture of having a partner you can depend on to share your time with and make big life decisions. That's why partnership is more important than short-term lust or romance.

36. You Attract What You Are

Image Source / LifehackIf you're going around being particularly grumpy, miserable or angry at everything, you're only going to attract the same. To increase your chances of attracting the right person, be what you'd want to attract - such as happy, smiling, fun-loving and adventurous!

37. Learn How To Spend Time Alone

Image Source / Loving Roots ProjectA lot of people can struggle with this, but it's important if you're looking for long-term love. Not only will time spent alone help you to better understand yourself and what you want from your relationships, it'll make you more content in your own company during a relationship, which can be very helpful for not being a clingy partner!

38. Don't Dismiss Anything Too Quickly - Give People A Chance

Image Source / Mayo Clinic Health SystemSome people might think that for it to be the right person, or true love, it needs to be an instant attraction and obvious on the first few dates whether this is a person you could love. But sometimes the best relationships are formed slowly. You might make a friend first who you're not attracted to but have an emotional connection with. This might then deepen over time as you slowly become physically attracted to them.

39. Believe That It Will Happen

Image Source / About my Brain InstituteYou have to believe that you will find true love, you will find the perfect person, and that you are worthy of finding the right person. Being optimistic and believing in this way will also make dating more fun for you, because you know you'll find the right person - instead of going on a bad date and thinking, 'Gah, I'm never going to find anybody!'.

40. Know Your Own Love Language

Image Source / Quiz and Survey MasterIf you don't know how you best express love, or the love language you need from a partner, then what hope does a person you're dating have? In order to better communicate in a relationship, it's a good idea to know exactly what you need from a partner in terms of love language. Do you need someone who likes physical touch? Someone who is going to buy you gifts?

41. And Understand Your Own Needs

Image Source / Live HappyIn the same light, you need to know exactly what you want and need from a relationship. Only then can you save time eliminating people who can't offer you what you need. It'll also help you to feel more confident in attracting the right person, when you know exactly what you want.

42. Don't Waste Time On People Who Aren't Available

Image Source / The IllumiLabA lot of people may be interested in people they don't think like them back, such as friends they have a crush on, or maybe someone you know who you think you can eventually change their mind and have them date you. But all of this is wasting valuable time on energy when you could be out there looking for someone who wants you in return.

43. Don't Move Too Fast

Image Source / CNBCIt's true that sometimes people can act impulsively and still end up happily together 50 years later, like getting married a week after meeting or quickly moving in together. But if you're looking for the perfect partner, take as much time as possible to learn about their living habits, what they're like to live with, and what their views are on important life issues - so you don't move too fast with the wrong person!

44. Ask Other People Out

Image Source / the Self Help Hipster -A lot of people, perhaps primarily women, wait for other people to ask them out. Or, they may meet people they're interested in and then never see them again because they didn't speak up. Asking other people out when you feel something is the only way to get more dates - and the worst that can happen is they say no, in which case no time has been wasted!

45. Try Something Different When It Comes To Dating

Image Source / The New York TimesIf you're always finding dates in the exact same way, and always having the same dating experience, and it's not working out for you, it's time for something different. You could try something completely out of your comfort zone, like trying speed dating if you never have before.

46. Be More Strict About Where You Go On Dates

Image Source / Country Living MagazineSometimes it feels like 'let's go out for dinner' or 'grab a coffee' are the only dating options in the world. A lot of people may feel uncomfortable or anxious about certain environments. Never feel pressured to go on a date somewhere you don't want to go, as you won't be able to relax. You don't have to be rude about someone's suggestion, but you could politely suggest an alternative - or arrange the date yourself!

47. Forget All These 'Mind Game' Tricks

Image Source / CouponFollowA lot of dating advice these days may include 'don't text back too quickly so you don't look desperate' or 'leave them on Read so you can play hard to get'. Don't get hung up on these mind games as it will just cause problems for developing trust and communication. Just be yourself!

48. You Might Want To Consider Education As A Route To Love

Image Source / University of Nottingham BlogsIf you've been thinking about going to university - maybe even going back to university - learning a new skill or even taking a night class, this can be a great way to meet someone as you're guaranteed to find like-minded people who are pursuing the same education or pathway as you. This makes it likely you'll have the same ambitions and interests.

49. Take Care Of Your Appearance

Image Source / SF YOGA MAGThis may sound a little shallow, but it's really important both for attracting people and feeling more confident in yourself. Taking good care of yourself hygiene wise, like washing your hair, brushing your teeth and making more of an effort will get you in a better mindset to attract someone new.

50. Consider Whether Now Is The Right Time

Image Source / OberloIt's true that actually two people in love can meet at the wrong time. This means you might have a lot of other responsibilities that are coming between you being able to commit right now. If you want to meet someone, don't ignore the fact that it might not be the right time right now. Factors such as looking for a new job, not being in a good mental health space, not having enough money or planning on travelling or relocating all come into play.