Signs Of Emotional Abuse

1. Your Partner Often Humiliates You 

Image source / DailytelegraphAbusers offend and insult their partners by making unkind jokes and judging them negatively.  They'll say you're too sensitive when they make fun of you.  They don’t care if they do it in private or in a group of people as long as they crush your self esteem so that you will become more dependent upon them.

2. They Manipulate And Gaslight You

Image source/ BusinessInsiderYou may feel that their statements contradict what they said previously or they might deny something that you clearly remember.  They do it with such confidence that you start to question yourself.  This type of behaviour is known as gaslighting, a form of manipulation.

3. Your Abuser's Behavior Is Confusing 

Image source / QuoraYour abuser may have moments of giving out love and kindness to you and this will be confusing as you will have got used to the abusive behavior.   When they are being nice, you can forget all the bad things about them being abusive, even thinking they are great - until they start being horrible again.

4. They Blame You For Being The Source Of Their Abuse

Image source /Psychology TodayThey have done their job and shaped your mental state to believe that what they are saying is totally true, so therefore blaming you as the reason for their angry outbursts. The abuser blaming the victim for emotional abuse is one of the primary signs you are being abused.

5. They Need Constant Check-Ins And Invade Personal Space

Image source / Talk SpaceOne of the most confusing traits about abusive partners is that they can shut you down in person but they still want to keep a close check on you when you are out of sight. Verbal and mental abuse can be confused with care or jealousy, especially when they are constantly texting you to know where you are.

6. You Are Always In a State Of Guilt And Doubt

Image source / Flash Uganda MediaThis is one of the most significant signs of emotional abuse.  You will eventually begin to be in a state of anxiety almost all of the time and afraid of doing anything that may upset or disappoint your partner, purely for fear of being criticized and yelled at.  You'll feel you are always walking on eggshells.

7.  Isolation From Loved Ones

Image source / The New York TimesIsolation is a powerful means for the abuser to control the abused. Separation from family and friends, even isolation within the home, can make the abused more strongly emotionally dependent on the abuser.  Emotional isolation from family and friends is a big red flag for a sign of emotional abuse.

8. Withholding Affection, Especially Sexual Intimacy

Image source / Psychology TodayWhy should your spouse be affectionate toward someone who doesn’t measure up to their expectations?  They may say that their expectations are not being met and that you are not worthy of their affection unless you shape up.  However, whatever you do different, it will not change the way they treat you.

9. Most Emotional Abuse Is In The Home

Image source / Medical News TodayIf you are getting emotionally abused at home, when your friends and family aren’t there to validate the abusive treatment from your partner, it will encourage the abuser to carry on.  If they do it in public, they may get found out to be the person they really are.  They will prefer to keep it behind closed doors.

10. Abusers Seek To Control And Dominate Their Partners

Image source / Medical News TodayAnother sign of emotional and mental abuse is when the abuser takes all control away from the victim and completely dominating their decisions. One of the critical emotional abuse behaviors is not letting someone make even the smallest decisions of their life, such as what they want to eat or want to wear.

11. The Emotional Abuser Is A Narcissist

Image source / Alana SharpsThe world revolves around them and they have no patience,  they make unreasonable demands,  they are very insensitive and always blame others, even when they are the ones who are at fault.  These are all signs that your partner is a narcissist and is mentally abusing you.

12. They Want To Shape Your Mental State To Become Dependable

Image source / Bonobology.comAn abuser will try to isolate you from your friends and family by convincing you that these people do not have your best interests at heart.  The reality is that they are jealous of your love for anyone but themselves and they don't want outsiders to notice that you are being abused in case they try and get you to break off your toxic relationship.

13. Your Partner Is Excessively Moody

Image source / Boldsky.comThey have mood swings that go from excited highs to deep lows.  You will begin to sense these moods and recognize when it will be a 'good day', when they are laughing and manic in their love for you and the whole world.  A 'bad day' is when all you want is to stay out of their way.  You will probably try and keep them 'up' by distracting them in an attempt to mitigate the bad mood you know is about to show it's ugly face.

14. Passive Aggression

Image source / SHRMPeople with abusive behavior love the passive aggressive game which means that you will never get a confrontation.  There will be no constructive arguments and you will never fight.  If it's about work, some papers  will always be missing and you will be responsible for losing them when you know it's not your fault.

15. Jealousy

Image source / Pulse NigeriaJealousy is one of the most common signs of mental abuse in work, schools, family members and when you are in a mentally abusive relationship.  When people feel jealous, they can portray their feelings by looking down on your work, acting possessively and humiliating you.

16. Love And Acceptance Appear To Be Based On Performance

Image source / HuffPostNo matter how hard you work at trying to do everything right, it is never enough or done right or done at the correct time.  Then you begin to feel that you do not measure up and cannot possibly be loved by your partner or even be acceptable to them.  This is just where they want you and they get a buzz out of it.

17. Unpredictability

Image source / The HealthyFrequently acting out of character is a characteristic trait of a mental abuser or an abusive relationship.  If your partner is unpredictable to a great extent, this can be one of the signs of mental abuse.  These type of people have an unpredictable way of acting and communicating with you.

18. In Arguments, They Are Always Right

Image source / Oprah DailyAn emotional abuser has to have the last word.  In their eyes, you never have anything useful worth saying and you are always wrong.  Your spouse will be sure to let you know that their decision is best for you.  As it can be done so slyly, yo may not notice this pattern but, as time goes on, it will become clear.

19. Your Spouse Gives You The Silent Treatment

Image source / Verywell MindAn abuser will get a real kick out of giving you the silent treatment, making you guess what is wrong and trying to fix it. This, in itself, makes you start to second guess yourself.  Of course, it is impossible to fix something that you don’t know is broken and in reality, it isn't.

20. They Say You Are Lucky They Chose You

Image source / StylecrazeYour spouse reminding you frequently about how fortunate you are to be in this relationship with them because of how well they look after you and watch out for you. They remind you that no one else would ever want you - all big signs that you are being mentally abused.

21. Your Partner Is Threatened By Outside Support Systems

Image source / Guy StuffAn emotionally abusive person doesn’t like their victim to have outside friends and family support.  They might tell you that they are a liability and will try to get you to leave them.  This abuser will find something wrong with your friends, saying they are only using you or that they don’t like you.  They could comment that your family are toxic and you should keep your distance from them.

22. Your partner Has No Sense Of Humor

Image source / CosmopolitanYou will never see your mentally abusive boyfriend or girlfriend laugh off an error they may have made. Instead, they are quick to get rattled and angry. If they think anyone is laughing at them, even in a very light hearted way, they will become enraged and will take out their anger on you.

23. Assigning Blame

Image source / AllureAn abusive partner will never be wrong. They blame any issues they have on everyone else in their life except themselves. They are also intensely sensitive to criticism and this will leave the abused in a state where they receive attacks and likely have no recourse to defend themselves.

24. You Find Yourself Apologizing All The Time

Image source / SuccessWhen you are emotionally or mentally abused, you may often find yourself apologizing to your partner all the time and even feel the need to, to stop an argument escalating. However, the chances are that it wasn't even your fault but you have been made to believe it.

25. Your Partner Withholds Necessities

Image source / Verywell MindIf you rely on your partner for necessities, they might withhold them in an effort to control you.  For instance, if you depend on them financially they may not give you money. If they are the ones who is responsible for the cooking, they may only make food for themselves.  not make food for you.

26. You Feel Sorry For Them

Image source / AshleyEasterEven when you know they are abusing you mentally or emotionally, you still feel sorry for them and sympathize with them. This is because they have made you look at the situation in a twisted way where nothing is their fault.  Making you feel bad for them while they abuse you is a red flag of emotional abuse.

27. Volatility

Image source / Marriage.comIf your relationship and your partner’s behavior are immediately affected by any actions or words, to the extent where it interrupts even the good times, then it could be a sign of emotional and mental abuse.  You may avoid speaking out to family or friends because you are embarrassed to do so.

28. You Seem To Have Lost Any Sexual Desire For Them

Image source / MomJunctionPhysical intimacy is often a by-product of emotional intimacy.  When your partner is constantly hurting you emotionally or mentally, you may not feel open and safe around them.  When you do not trust them, understandably you may feel like you have lost your sexual desire for them.

29. Propagation Of Fear

Image source / BustleThe ability to cultivate fear is an empowering experience for an abuser . Fear can come in various flavors, such as the abusive partner threatening harm to themselves or to others. They will use this as a means of manipulation, mainly to keep the abused in the confusing relationship.

30. Your Partner Never Takes Responsibility For Any Mistakes

Image source / MomJunctionOne of the outstanding signs of an abusive spouse is that it is always your or someone else’s fault, they will never apologise, they blame you for (purposely) forgetting to keep an arrangement they had with you .... and the list goes on.  If you try to stand up for yourself, they will hold this against you for weeks on end, until you crumble.

31. They check your phone

Image source / RedditChecking your phone is a way they will invade you privacy and keep control over you. They want you to feel as though everything you do is being monitored. They will check your phone to question you and make you question yourself and feel like you're doing something wrong.

32. You feel paranoid

Image source / cnnAlong similar lines, you may start to feel as though they are everywhere. Like you cannot go out and see people or speak to people without them knowing who you were with, when, and exactly what you said to them. One way they do this is trying to catch you out, so that you feel that they know everything about you.

33. You are constantly worried about provoking them

Image source / RedditLiving on edge and in fear of somebody else and their emotions and behaviours is exhausting and mentally damaging to yourself. In an abusive relationship you will feel constantly anxious and worried about provoking them. You'll want to please them all the time to make your own life easier and avoid their temper or emotional punishments.

34. Or doing something 'wrong'

Image source / wikiblogIf you are in an emotionally abusive relationship you will be made to feel as though there are a whole lost of things you do 'wrong'. They will tell you how to act, what to say, how to feel. And the only way that is 'right' is what they say. This is a controlling technique emotional abusers use.

35. They tell you that they embarrass you

Image source / RedditFeeling inadequate or embarrassing is a completely cruel way to totally strip someone of heir confidence and self esteem. To make them question themselves and feel so self conscious that they are super aware of how to act and what to say, so much so that they lose the essence of themselves.

36. You often have stomach-ache and headaches

Image source / RedditIf you have unknown causes of stomach-aches and headaches, one reason for this is anxiety related. Many people in abusive relationships have experienced these physical symptoms of illness as manifestations of their mental states of anxiousness and nervousness.

37. You immediately do exactly what you're told

Image source / todayYou have become over obedient, you do not question what they say, but make sure that you di it immediately and exactly the way they told you to. This is due to their control and abuse and the fear of upsetting them and facing the multiple emotionally manipulative and abusive methods they use against you.

38. They use offensive language towards you

Image source / RedditSwearing, shouting and being offensive to someone is not okay. Ever. In a healthy relationships disagreements are normal, but they are don in a respectful way. In an abusive relationship swearing and shouting is common place to scare you or make you feel small.

39. They try to catch you out

Image source / RedditIn an abusive relationship they will make you feel as though everything is your fault. If they get angry or do something bad they will make you believe it was your actions that caused it. They will also try to catch you out and make you feel as though you have something to be guilty of or to hide to try and make you too scared to do anything in future.

40. You have extremely low self-esteem

Image source / RedditLow-self esteem is what happens to a person who has been in an emotionally abusive relationship - be it in a relationship/ with a friend/ or a family member. They have intentionally stripped you of your self-esteem so that you feel unable to leave them and you feel like you aren't good enough for them.

41. You feel like you can't be apart from them

Image source / RedditYou may have got to the point where you feel you can't be away from them. You might have an anxious feeling when you're apart that they will suddenly accuse you of something and cause a fight, or that something bad and unexpected could happen without them being there.

42. And you have stopped going out

Image source / RedditStopping going out is linked with the isolation from family and friends. You probably stop going out, stop socializing and stop seeing other people because it makes you anxious to do so. One reason is because you are scared they will get angry, another is because your confidence is so low you feel that you can't go out.

43. They treat you like you're inferior

Image source / RedditMaking you feel stupid and inferior is purposeful to make you question and doubt yourself, and lose any confidence you had in yourself. They want to appear superior to you. They will probably call you stupid, mansplain to you, and make you feel generally inadequate.

44. They don't look at you when you speak

Image source / RedditNot looking at you when you speak is an intentional method of dehumanising you. They are purposefully trying to make you feel less than important, like you do not matter, as though you are unimportant to them or anybody else and what you have to say is irrelevant.

45. You have begun to neglect your own needs

Image source / RedditIn a desperate attempt to make sure them and their needs are sorted and fine, you may start to neglect (or fully abandon) your own needs. They have become first priority, to an extent which yours do not even matter to you anymore, despite the fact it's affecting you physically and mentally.

46. They threaten to leave you

Image source / RedditThreatening to leave you is a tool they use to make you feel as though you can't live without them. They have emotionally abused you, shot down your self-esteem and identity so that you feel like you absolutely need them and cannot ever let them leave.

47. They make you question other people

Image source / pyschologyindicateThey want you to question everybody but you. They might even make up stories which are completely false about what your friends or family said and did. This is to make you distrust everyone and question everyone so that you become solely reliant upon your partner.

48. They disregard your feelings

Image source / RedditYour emotions are completely inferior to them. They will purposefully trivialise your emotions. For example, if they see you crying, rather than validating or comforting you and offering emotional support they would make you feel silly for acting this way and call you 'too sensitive'.

49. They tell you that you are crazy

Image source / RedditThis is a number one saying from an emotionally abusive partner. They will call you crazy to to invalidate all of your behaviour, what you are saying or how you are feeling. They want to make you feel irrational, rather than confirming your emotions are responses to THEIR behaviour.

50. They play the hero in front of others

Image source / RedditThis is to create a completely false image of themselves in the eyes of others, so that other people like them and trust them. It's a way of further manipulating you into thinking that nobody would believe you if you told them, because everybody like them.