Signs Someone Is Struggling To Cope With The Death Of A Loved One

Feeling overwhelmed

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When someone loses a loved one, they may feel very overwhelmed by the situation. Signs someone is feeling overwhelmed are similar to those of feeling stress or anxiety: fast heart rate, shallow breathing, fatigue and more. To support them in this moment, give them the time and space to calm down and relax and offer support to help them out in any way you can.

Hoarding

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The feeling of being extremely overwhelmed leads to an inability to complete daily tasks. An example of this is failing to keep up with the housework, leading to a messy hour - or in extreme cases, hoarding. This can come about through feeling extremely exhausted and therefore not feeling like they have the energy or motivation to do get on top of things.

Neglecting themselves

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Additionally to letting their housing standards slip, people who are struggling with the loss of a loved one will also let their own standards of themselves slip too. They may appear to not have been looking after their own personal hygiene or they may forget to fuel themselves properly through eating healthy, if eating at all, and drinking water.

Unkind to themselves

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Losing the loss of a loved one can affect each and every person differently. Some may see it as motivation to seize life and make the most of the unfortunate passing by setting themselves new goals. However others may retreat and begin to self critique themselves and rather think that they are no good at anything anymore so what's the point in trying.

Neglecting dependants

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Those with dependants, be that other family members, children of their own or even pets, may find losing a loved one particularly challenging as it impacts life so greatly. They may find it difficult to continue to care for their dependants as they are overwhelmed and already struggling to care for themselves.

Avoiding work

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Some people who are experiencing grief may find it difficult to get themselves up and ready for work in the mornings, meaning they accrue a high number of sick days or absent marks on their record. They may find it uncomfortable to think that their colleagues know what has happened or they may feel anxious about being asked questions. Either way, long absents may lead to dismissal so this needs to be monitored!

Drinking excessively

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To cope with the loss of a loved one, someone might turn to the bottle. This is quite a common coping mechanism for grief however can be extremely harmful. It can be very addictive and unhelpful to someone already feeling low and unmotivated as the hangover can produce those feelings too.

Addictive habits

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As well as alcohol abuse, those grieving may turn to other substance abuse to cope with losing their loved one. In these extreme circumstances, they need immediate intervention in order to keep them as safe as possible. This sign of them struggling may be harder to identify as they may not be that keen on you knowing!

Anxiety

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Anxiety can present itself in those who have lost a loved one and can be manifest itself in the form of panic attacks or the person feeling overly nervous or worried all of the time. They begin to overthink every situation or assume the worst will happen at any given time.

Stress

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Experiencing loss, let alone loss of a loved one, is an extremely stressful situation to be in. There are a multitude of things to be thinking about and this often sends the person in to despair. Extreme stress can causes excessive biting of nails, acne, hair falling out, to name but a few - signs to look out for!

Long periods of sadness

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Those suffering from the loss of someone close to them may find themselves feeling sad. This is common when experiencing a bereavement, however, if the period of sadness goes on and on and you find that it's consuming them, they may need some extra support.

Constant crying

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It is completely natural and really important to express emotions. Crying is often seen as a great release when experiencing difficult moments in life and viewed as a healthy way to express emotions. This said, after a short while, the crying should subside as help is sought after.

Unhelpful thoughts

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Bereavement has been known to negatively impact mental health. When this happens, the person involved can experience thoughts can could be harmful to themselves. They may wish to find a way too be with their lost loved one and thoughts like this require immediate intervention.

Anger

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Whilst most people associate grief and the loss of a loved one with feeling like sadness, hopelessness and denial, anger is also a very common emotion to go through. They might be left wondering why and will become angry at themselves, the world around them, the person they lost or just the circumstances they find themselves in.

Extreme tiredness

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Stress-related fatigue is especially common in those individuals who are plagued by insomnia during the grieving process. The stress they are feeling during the day, feeds in to the night and keeps them awake. This can lead to extreme day tiredness the morning after and can cause an unhealthy cycle to emerge.

Being strangely calm

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A worrying sign that someone isn't coping well with the loss of their loved one is if they are presenting as strangely calm and unaffected. Being this emotionless suggest they are in denial or are putting on a front in front of you and others - these people are normally the ones who need the support the most.

Filled with resentment

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Feeling resentment towards the loss of a loved one is completely normal. They might feel angry that it happen and resentful that their life will no longer be the same. This doesn't mean they blame any one in particular but rather are finding a way to vent how they are feeling.

Mood swings

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Grief can cause people to feel a range of emotions and there is no right or wrong - everyone copes in their own way. For some, they might jump from mood to mood, seeming quite irrational and unpredictable: going from a place of extreme sadness to anger or rage within minutes. These mood swings are simply the body and brains way of trying to navigate the loss they are experiencing.

Seeming all over the place

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Along with mood swings, the person going through the loss of their loved one may appear to be all over the place - neither coming, nor going. Often with extreme grief, the high stress and anxiety levels can cause forgetfulness and short term memory loss, making the person seem as if they are maybe a little more chaotic than they were before.

Unorganized

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Being a little more chaotic than they were before comes hand in hand with being more disorganized. A person consumed by grief will struggle to remember where they have left important documents or may miss pivotal life moments, dates, birthdays. Their mind is in fight or flight mode and so the mundane parts of life are often pushed back whilst they try to navigate this moment.

Forgetful

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During a traumatic incident in life, like that of losing a loved one, often a common side effect can be temporary memory loss. People experiencing grief may feel spacey and unable to make decisions for themselves and therefore need a great support network around them to help them navigate this.

Segregation

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When people feel unable to cope, they can withdraw themselves from those around them. The intention is not to offend anyone or to be rude; they simply do not feel they have the energy to engage with others. Conversations may be harder as their minds are dominated by what has happened so to them it is best to avoid conversations all together.

Seeing their loss as a challenge to fix

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A common sign that someone is struggling with losing a loved one is seeing the situation as something that can be fixed or viewing themselves as something that is now broken that needs fixing. This is not the case and acceptance of what has happened will help them see that.

Refusing to accept help

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The best thing to suggest to those who are finding the loss of a loved one hard to navigate is to reach out for additional support from specially trained health professionals. However, often those struggling the most refuse to accept help and see it as a taboo subject, showing weakness.

Injuring themselves

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Being unkind to themselves, leading to injuring themselves is an extreme sign that someone is not coping with the grief they are experiencing. If you notice someone showing signs that they are not being kind to themselves, advise them to seek additional support.

Pretending everything is normal

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When some people find situations hard to deal with, they prefer to pretend as if the situation doesn't exist to help them cope. In doing so, they might pretend that everything fine and they are fine. Usually this mean the total opposite and should be seen as an alarm bell - check in on those who are acting as if nothing is wrong!

Oversharing

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Sometimes the people who are going through the most in life are those that choose to overshare and tell the world their problems. This can be seen as a cry for help and a desperate desire to be listened too. It can come across a little overwhelming to encounter an over-sharer, however consider what they have gone through and simply offer an ear.

Attention seeking behaviours

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Having lost a loved one may cause someone to display inappropriate behaviours in a cry for help or to gain attention as they are struggling with feeling lonely. It is important to remember that these behaviours are simply intended to get a reaction and root of the problem should be explored rather than the immediate behaviour.

Denial

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A clear sign that someone is finding the loss of their loved difficult to deal with is their inability to discuss the loss with you. They might portray themselves as being in denial, stating it hasn't happened or if they acknowledge it has happened, they refuse to talk about it. This suggests they are experiencing difficulty in accepting the situation at hand.

Insomnia

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Insomnia, also known as sleeplessness, is a disorder where people have trouble sleeping. This may mean they have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep which can result in excessive daytime sleepiness instead. Insomnia can commonly be triggered through stress and anxiety. Losing a loved one can trigger insomnia and leave them feeling irritable or experiencing extreme low moods.