Signs You Are In A Co-Dependent Relationship

1. You feel like you're always thinking about what your partner needs, not your own needs

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In a co-dependent relationship, it is common that you put aside all of your own needs in order to continuously prioritize theirs, EVEN if that means that it is at the expense of your own. Whatever they need, you want to make sure that that is met and you are constantly thinking about them.

2. You ask your partner to make decisions for you

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You may feel as though you've lost your independence, or perhaps you do not realize, yet you now consult your partner on decisions that you could make alone. Even if you have a decision that is based on you alone, you might ask your partner to see what you should do.

3. You feel drained quite a lot of the time

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When you are a part of a co-dependent relationship you may feel constantly drained and exhausted. This is because the relationship is sucking the energy from you. You do not have your own dependence and you are carrying the weight of another person on your shoulders and bearing all of their needs.

4. You get anxious when you're not with them

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You do NOT like to be without them. In fact, when they leave you for periods of time you feel super anxious. This isn't healthy in a relationship because it's important that those involved are happy alone. But in a co-dependent relationship, you can feel like you cannot be without them.

5. You feel responsible for your partner's needs

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Not only do you want to do everything for your partner to meet their needs, but you feel like you have to. You think that they are your responsibility and that it is your job to look after them in every aspect. This feeling of the responsibility of another adult can be a huge amount of pressure.

6. You feel like you couldn't live without them

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You don't feel as though you could live without this person, if they left you have no idea what you would do. It's like you wouldn't even know how to function anymore without being with this person. This is sometimes what happens when a relationship is co-dependent.

7. You seek constant validation and reassurance from your partner

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You feel as though you need constant validation and reassurance from your partner and if you do not get this you can start to feel super anxious. You seek this to feel reassured that they still want to be in this relationship because you fear what would happen if they ever left.

8. You feel guilty when you do things for yourself and not your partner

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If there's ever something that you want to do just for yourself, you may not do it because you feel totally guilty that this thing is for you and not your partner. You feel selfish making any kind of decision or doing something just for yourself, so you often don't do it!

9. You feel like without them you have nobody

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In a co-dependent relationship, it can get so intense that you feel like this person is your whole world. They consume your thoughts and they become your life, and you probably start to push other people away and feel like apart from this person, you have nobody!

10. You don't like to go to places without them

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Going out without this person gives you social anxiety, you do not feel like you can go to places or see people on your own or without them. The thought of traveling somewhere, or even doing simple things outside the house without this person makes you extremely uncomfortable.

11. Your feel like their behavior is your fault

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Whatever they do, you feel like it is YOUR fault. Their behavior comes back to you because you feel responsible for what they do. In a co-dependent relationship, you see this person as an extension of yourself, and you feel like you are the one responsible for their actions.

12. You want to change them

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You would love to change things about your partner, the way they act, or the things they do. You just wish they were a little bit more of this or that. You try and change them, you think that maybe eventually your influence will have an impact on them and they will change.

13. You are frequently explaining their behavior to other people

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You know that your partner has some bad habits, you know that they don't always act in the best way and sometimes they show destructive behavior. You are always trying to explain away and justify their behavior to other people as a form of damage control. Their mess becomes YOUR mess.

14. You never socialize without them

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You wouldn't dream of going out to socialize without your partner. You wouldn't know how to anymore and you'd feel very anxious to be in a social setting without them. You used to love socializing with family and friends, but now you rarely do it unless they will accompany you.

15. You hide certain things about your life from them

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You know that this person has a lot to say about how you live your life. It's driven you to hide certain things from them. You would not want them to disapprove and you would certainly not want any conflict. Instead, you just hide certain areas of your life from your partner that they would not like.

16. You constantly try and make them happy

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Your number one priority and mission is to make your partner happy. You'll do anything for them. You are consistently just trying to make them happy in any way possible. You may even become less happy yourself because your sole focus had become about this person and their feelings.

17. You feel anxiety about your relationship

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Since you began your relationship you may have become gradually more and more anxious. Co-dependent relationships can often produce feelings of anxiety or make anxiety worse because the relationship becomes so mentally consuming and it drains emotions.

18. You'll do anything to avoid conflict

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You have a fear of conflict and you actively avoid it at any point. It's natural not to enjoy or want to experience conflict. Yet, it's not good to avoid conflict to the point where you let behavior or things slide which has negatively affected you. You need to voice your opinions to ensure your own well-being.

19. You feel like you have to stay in the relationship

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You don't feel like you could ever leave this relationship. What would you do without them? What would they do without you? Even if you wanted to you feel like you have no choice but to stay in the relationship because you have both become so overly attached in an unhealthy manner.

20. You feel difficulty setting boundaries with your partner

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In co-dependent relationships, it is a very common theme that boundaries are crossed, or that the couple has failed to set any kind of boundaries meaning that there are no healthy lines within the relationship. It's important for individuals to set their own boundaries to feel respected and happy.

21. You rarely voice your own emotions to your partner

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Your emotions and needs come second in a co-dependent relationship. And not only that, but you do not even voice your true or raw emotions to your partner because you do not want to upset them or anger them in any way. You brush over your own feelings to make way for theirs, and theirs alone.

22. There's a lot of jealousy and insecurity in the relationship

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Your relationship is fuelled with jealousy and insecurity. You are terrified at the thought that they could leave you or that they look at other people romantically. You are super insecure and jealous of other people which can make you feel even more attached to them in a negative way.

23. You rely on them for financial support

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If a relationship isn't healthy, finances can be a very difficult topic. If you are in a co-dependent relationship and you rely on your partner financially, then not only are you dependent on them for living but you are also dependent on them emotionally making it very difficult to get out of.

24. You hate it when they leave you for periods of time

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The thought of them leaving you for an extended amount of time literally makes your heart sink and your stomach churn. When you are involved in a co-dependent relationship you do not know how to exist without this person anymore and you can't face the thought of having to.

25. You drop everything to fulfill your partner's demands

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You're busy, you are doing your work, you're doing something for yourself...but your partner needs something, so you drop everything to oblige your partner's demands. In a co-dependent relationship there is a lack of boundaries of independence and having to look after yourself.

26. You've lost touch with people because you're consumed by your relationship

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Your relationships with your friends and family have really suffered since the beginning of the relationship. You used to have a close bond with people other than your partner, but now you rarely get to see them! This is a huge signal that this relationship is co-dependent!

27. You want to monitor your partner

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You love to know what your partner is doing and where they are. You love to monitor them to check that they are not doing anything to get themselves in trouble or doing anything that may jeopardize themself. You wish you could help to guide them so that they do not make the wrong choices.

28. You constantly worry about their decisions

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In a co-dependent relationship, you are not only worried about your own actions and the choices you have to make in life, but you are also consistently worried about them and their choices. You know they sometimes make questionable decisions and this upsets you so that it is constantly on your mind.

29. You're always apologizing for your behavior in case you upset them

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You do not really feel like you can be truly yourself because you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells around this person. You really don't want to upset them, and you are always apologizing for your behavior in case you somehow manage to provoke an emotional response.

30. You don't have hobbies of your own

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You don't have any hobbies or interests of your own anymore, you used to, but they've all been put to one side now you are in a relationship because this person has become the center of your world and you do not make any time for your own things which are external to the relationship.