Signs Your Partner Is Cheating On You

1. Lack of eye contact

Image source / QuotevIf anything screams guilt it’s a lack of eye contact... They say the eyes are windows to the soul and a total inability to look at you could well be a red flag. We can all picture the ‘guilty kid’ who is being confronted by their parents, they literally can’t bear to look at them for the shame.

2. The over explainer...

Image source / VistaCreateFrom one guilt avoidance tactic to another… the over explainer. If someone accuses you of something but you’re innocent you remain surprisingly calm, confident in your knowledge that they have their facts wrong. If however you have something to hide, you’re far more likely to get a loose tongue! Desperate to appear guilt-free, people who are lying will often start babbling - watch out for it.

3. Phones away!

Image source / KTAR NewsIt’s natural for you and your partner to be looking at your phones when sat next to each other. What’s not natural though is if they suddenly lock the screen upon noticing your eyes looking their way. I can think of few more obvious signs that that, it’s like they’re literally going ahh, don’t look.

4. Selective memory

Image source / Stuart Miller SolicitorsWe’ve all watched the crime dramas where the guilty person’s story changes in a second interview. You can almost hear the penny drop inside the inspector’s head. Well, if your partner seems to suffer from a selective or ever-changing memory issue then perhaps their story isn’t so fail safe after all.

5. No interest in sex

Image source / TheHungryJPEG.comAfter the ‘honeymoon period’ is over, it’s normal for most couples to ease up a little on the bedroom antics. That being said, you’ll still know roughly how often you like to get between the sheets. So, if this number suddenly drops and your previously frisky partner would now simply roll over and go to sleep you may be left wondering what’s causing the turn off.

6. Embarrassed by you

Image source / Her NormThere’s no nicer feeling than being introduced to your partner’s friends and family at the start of a relationship. If it’s a healthy set up, you’ll likely feel like they’re showing you off - proud as punch at their new, better half. So flipping that on its head, imagine feeling as though your partner is embarrassed of you when you’re around their nearest and dearest. It may not necessarily be a sign they’re cheating but regardless, no one should be made to feel that way - if you do, it's time to leave.

7. No more invites

Image source / Keep Calm-o-MaticExtending this idea further, if your partner has full on stopped inviting you to events with them then they are already mentally detaching from you. Forget acting embarrassed to have you in their presence, they want you out of their life and are making it pretty darn obvious too.

8. Getting your name wrong

Image source / DreamstimeHearing your boyfriend or girlfriend say someone else’s name would be a real stinger. Sure, people slip up but if the name is one you recognise or, god forbid you hear it when making out then alarm bells should be ringing - they have some serious questions to answer.

9. Too much screen time

Image source / The VergeOk my screen time isn’t something I’m proud of (I blame you Instagram!) Either way, it’s pretty steady week on week. With that in mind, imagine you suddenly notice that your partner is spending more time on their phone. I mean, a LOT more time. Suspicious…

10. Glued to their phone

Image source / UnsplashTalking of phones, have you noticed that your partner seems glued to theirs? As in, they won’t leave a room without it firmly in their hand or pocket? It could well be a sign they have something to hide. Why not try tucking it behind a pillow or something else nearby and seeing if they frantically search for it before leaving the room.

11. Defensive

Image source / AskAprilNo one likes being called out. In fact, it’s in our human nature to ‘maintain face’ and have those around us believe in the person we are portraying to the outside world. It makes sense then to be suspicious of someone if they become very defensive. Nothing quite says guilty conscience than someone becoming argumentative or wound up when questioned.

12. Overly friendly

Image source / PinterestThis one can be hard to wrap your head around at first but trust me, you’ll be glad you knew about it. If your friends and family cannot get enough of your partner (perhaps even more than when they first met them) feel suspicious. It can be a clever manipulation tactic on the part of the cheater to ‘keep their friends close but their enemies closer.’

13. Ignoring you

Image source / Living HoursOn a less subtle note, if you’ve suddenly stopped getting replies to messages and calls then that’s a pretty sure sign something is up. Of course, it could be a variety of reasons (a busy period at work, their phone has died etc) but if it carries on over a few months then you might start wondering why the loss of interest.

14. Random trips out

Image source / Driving-Tests.orgPicture the scene - you’re sat indoors, chilling and watching TV. You’ve already eaten and the fridge is stocked up with snacks. Despite this, your partner has a sudden need to go to the shop. They simply can’t wait until the following day and just have to go and get that seemingly irrelevant item. Hmmm. Why not insist on going with them and see their reaction?

15. Unexplained trips away

Image source / New York PostWe’ve already said that from time to time your partner will genuinely be busier and therefore more aloof. Depending on their job, there will likely be points in the year where they are more stressed and are able to commit less time to your relationship, fair enough. But what if certain work commitments or even work trips can’t be proven? Maybe they were ‘out of town’ for a conference but have no photos to show for their time away. That new project that’s keeping them so busy - what is it? Can they describe it in detail? How about in front of their colleagues!?

16. Things don't match up

Image source / Clark HowardOn the flip side, your partner might be covering their tracks. Perhaps they told you they were going to stay at a local buddy’s place and yet their gas has gone right down. Or have they got an impossible sun tan despite the local weather being gray and cloudy?

17. Change of taste in music

Image source / XDA DevelopersIf you’ve been with your partner for more than a few weeks you’re going to have a pretty good idea on their taste in music, fashion, food etc. So what if one or all of these were to suddenly change? You’d be right to feel a little confused. People are very influenced by those they hang around with, especially those they’re looking to please…

18. An unexplained skill

Image source / QuoraIf it’s not a sudden new interest in heavy metal that’s caught your attention then perhaps your partner has acquired a new skill. Unexplained guitar pro or tennis extraordinaire - where and WHY did they learn these new tricks? No seriously, who are they trying to impress?

19. New skills in the bedroom

Image source / The GuardianTalking of new tricks… if you’re lucky enough that your partner is still showing you interest in the bedroom then watch out for this one. Imagine you’re halfway through love-making and everything feels pretty familiar (you have been together a while after all). Suddenly, you notice them doing something new. Sure, it may feel nice but if you’ve never discussed it then it may leave you wondering where they learnt it from.

20. Splashing the cash

Image source / 20OceansVibeWe’re all having to keep an eye on our finances these days but if your partner seems to be struggling more than you’d expect you may be wondering why. You spend most days with them right? So you’d generally know what they had been spending on. If you can’t account for their spending in your mind, you may want to see those bank statements.

21. New efforts to look good

Image source / WikihowDoes your partner have a new haircut? Or maybe they’ve been hitting the gym extra hard recently. These changes in appearance and newfound efforts can be great - so long as they’re partnered with a continued interest in you. If your partner is distant to you but obsessed with themself I’d be asking questions.

22. But 0 effort around you

Image source / NDTV Special ProjectsOn the other hand, you may notice your partner has become a total waster. Even showers are a novelty these days for this lazy, couch potato you once fell in love with. If they’ve stopped making an outward effort to be pleasant to be around then maybe they just don’t value your relationship enough. Worse still, maybe there’s someone else out there who they do make an effort for.

23. Argumentative

Image source / Psychology TodaySure, all relationships have their ups and downs. In fact, it would probably be unhealthy if you never had arguments. But what if your partner was becoming more and more combative? Seemingly picking fights for no reason at all? It could be their way of trying to push you away. Of course, if your partner becomes aggressive in any way, leave or call a friend who can help you.

24. No romance

Image source / The Dating DivasNot every man and woman in the world is a hopeless romantic and you’ll know where your partner sits on the mush scale. That being said, all couples enjoy spending time together and making memories. Whether it’s going to the movies or a chilled out night in, you’ll know what you and your partner enjoy doing. So what if that suddenly dries up? If your partner has stopped expressing an interest in spending time with you you may be left wondering what’s changed.

25. Password reset

Image source / LitmusWhilst no one would advocate having you and your partner knowing each other’s passwords and social logins (that would be a bit controlling) it’s pretty standard for you to see their Insta or Facebook when left logged in on their phone or laptop. So what if one day these suddenly logged out? It would indicate they had changed their password, right? Sure, this could be innocent enough but if it’s across all their log ins your suspicions might rightly be raised.

26. Don't talk to me about the future!

Image source / CharGrilled TshirtsEveryone advocates living in the present moment and not mulling over the past or future. Nonetheless, it can be nice to recount special memories shared with your partner or chat about what your future holds. If your other half zones out at the mention of these past/present chats it could be a sign they don’t have you in their future plans and they’ve already erased their past with you. Gulp!

27. Birthday, what birthday?

Image source / Harvard HealthWe all have a few special dates that we share with our partner. Most notably the date you first hooked up, birthdays and, if you’re married, then of course your wedding anniversary. You’d be righty pissed then if your so-called lover forgot one of these supposedly special events. Why don’t they care anymore? Are there more important things on their mind?

28. Too many gifts...

Image source / WikihowAs with some of the earlier points, let’s flip that last one on its head. Remember - people can behave in 1 of 2 ways when they’re cheating - totally switching off you or overly switching on to lure you into a false sense of security. So, taking the latter, you may start asking questions if your partner suddenly begins showering you with gifts and becoming more generous than they previously were. Could they be trying to distract you from a deeper issue?

29. Fidgets

Image source / LTIADSHere’s a tip worth remembering in general, when people are lying not only will they avoid eye contact, they may well rock back and forth or fidgeting more generally. Take it as their internal discomfort coming out in a physical presentation. Just think - when you’re calm you’re still and serene so when you’re not - you wriggle and squirm!

30. That gut feeling

Image source / Medical DailyWe’ve all heard the expression ‘trust your gut’. There may be no better instance that to trust your instincts and listen to your gut feeling than when it comes to cheating. If something doesn’t feel right then sadly, your intuition may well be correct.

31. They’re Emotionally Distant

Image Source / Scientific AmericanSometimes you can spend less time with a partner but still feel emotionally connected. Even a ten minute conversation on the phone can connect you emotionally, but if they're emotionally distant, it means they're pulling away. They might not be willing to talk about any feelings whatsoever.

32. You’re Spending Less Time Together

Image Source / Tiny BuddhaYou can't always spend every second of the day with a partner, but if you usually always find time only for it to suddenly be a struggle, this could be a sign. If your partner is not making an effort to prioritise time with you less and less as the days go on, it means they're thinking about something - or someone - else.

33. They’re Keeping Secrets From You

Image Source / Scientific AmericanThis doesn't just mean the biggest secret of all - that they're cheating on you. It could just be secretive behaviour. Not willing to tell you things, acting suspiciously... Not telling you about things they used to tell you about, being more private day after day.

34. They Won’t Speak About Their Day

Image Source / HealthlineAfter a long day, your partner should want to come home to you and tell you all about it - good or bad. Even without much energy, they might explain why they don't want to talk about it. But if they're refusing to say a single thing, it doesn't even necessarily mean they're lying - it just means they're not interested in telling you.

35. They’re Encouraging You to Spend More Time With Your Friends

Image Source / The Guide LiverpoolIt might seem like a nice thing to say: 'Oh you should go out with your friends at the weekend! You haven't seen them in ages, go on, it'll be fun!' But all this means is that they're either trying to get rid of you so they can cheat, or they just don't want to be around you.

36. They Don’t Seem to Care as Much About You Anymore

Image Source / Reader's Digest AustraliaIt might be as simple as they just don't care that much anymore. They don't ask about your day, because they don't care. They don't ask about where you're going, what you're doing, how your job is... because they don't care.

37. They Don’t Share Things Like They Used To

Image Source / HealthlineOnce upon a time, you might have been the first person they told about something that excited them. They might have been willing to share absolutely everything with you. Maybe now they forget to tell you they got promoted, or forgot to tell you about something they saw on the TV.

38. They’re A Lot Nicer Than They Used To Be

Image Source / The New YorkerThere could be a few reasons for this. They could be trying to mislead you into thinking they're the best partner ever, or they could be riddled with guilt because of cheating. They might be really nice to you because they do still care about you and feel bad, even though they're cheating.

39. Or, They’re A Lot Meaner Than They Used To Be

Image Source / BuzzFeedOn the opposite side of things, they could be being a lot more horrid to you. Again, this could be one of many reasons. They could be feeling guilty but blaming you for that guilty and projecting it on you. They could be being mean because they don't want to be with you and resent spending time with you and not their new secret partner.

40. They Have A Bunch Of New Friends

Image Source / HuffPostWho you hang around with can change you. If they've suddenly got new friends, it could mean firstly that one of them could be a person they've taken a new romantic interest in. Or, it could just signal a new step in their life. These are new friends and new people, and you're a part of their old life.

41. They’re More Jealous With You

Image Source / NBC NewsEven though they have no right to be jealous about you if they're out behind your back, it can still happen. They want to have their cake and eat it, too. They want to be able to do what they want, and get attention from other romantic partners, but they'll be jealous any time someone takes an interest in you.

42. They Wriggle Out Of Plans With Your Friends And Family

Image Source / The Spruce CraftsMaybe it's guilt, or maybe it's because they just don't care anymore - either way, your loved ones are going to be a reminder for them of what they're doing behind your back and how they're betraying you. They'll most likely say no when you invite them to family or friend events, or always make excuses.

43. They Want To Know Your Schedule, All The Time

Image Source / ForbesThis could be because they want to know when you're going to be out or away, or it could just be because they're being more controlling and uneasy because of what they're doing. They might want to be overbearing with your schedule because they're carrying guilt about their own.

44. You’re Both Really Unhappy

Image Source / POPSUGARIt might not be all secrets and lies. It might be as clear as day that you're both just so miserable. That you wouldn't even be surprised that they're cheating. If you're both so unhappy on a daily basis and no longer feel the connection, they might have naturally just fell into a side relationship with someone else just for the distraction.

45. They’re Majorly Defensive About Everything

Image Source / LovePankyThis could be every little thing. Any small comment of a critical nature, like spilling crumbs on the kitchen counter and not cleaning them up, could be met with a full defensive outburst. They know they're doing something wrong, so they're going to be defensive about absolutely anything.

46. They Tell You They Want A Break

Image Source / YouTubeA break in a relationship can be a good thing sometimes, and doesn't mean anybody is cheating. However, they could want a break so they're free to 'explore other people' and then when it's out of their system, still have you as a safety net.

47. They Try To Vilify You

Image Source / FindLawThey're the one being unfaithful and unfair, but they'll do what they can to justify that by trying to slander you. It might even be because they know the truth will come out one day - so when it does, they don't want to be seen as the bad guy who cheated, so they'll try to paint you in a negative way to everyone around them.

48. Their Phone Is Suddenly The Least Reliable Thing In The Universe

Image Source / TwitterOh babe sorry my battery went when you called! My phone must've turned itself off! I didn't even get that message, so sorry! I don't think my phone's working so maybe don't text me for a while... (You know, that sort of thing...)

49. They’ve Cheated Before

Image Source / Mark MansonAs the saying goes, once a cheater always a cheater. It's very unlikely that someone who has been happy to cheat in the past will suddenly not want to. They may find it very difficult to stop cheating, and a lot of cheaters will be serial ones.

50. Your Relationship Started Because One Of You Was Cheating – Or Both Of You!

Image Source / Healthline

It's a bad way to begin if you got together in the first place because one, or both, of you was cheating. Who's to say that couldn't happen again with someone else outside of your relationship? If cheating was fine when you first hooked up, then that sort of mentality can continue.