50 Things All Women Do On Their Period

1. You WILL be crying one minute, then you'll be laughing the next...

Image source McLeod HealthWhy do you want to pick a fight with everyone you come into contact with and feel so aggressive?  Then, the next minute, you're crying at the Andrex puppy on the telly.  The healthy diet has gone into hiding and breakfast consists of two slices of toast with an inch thick spreading of Nutella and half a packet of custard creams.  Yes, that time is looming.

2. You'll feel relief that you're not pregnant

Image source PinterestEven though you were 97.5% certain that you weren't pregnant, you still had that tiny doubt in your mind that your waist line and ankles would be swelling in the forthcoming months.  Now you know that's not the case, a little sigh of relief passes through you, knowing you can still 'down' a bottle of Prosecco at the weekend.

3.  You prep for 5 days of discomfort

Image source HuffPostYes, it's that time of the month, even though you weren't due on for another day or two.  You aren't prepared and there's no one to ask for a tampon, unless you go up to a random person and they will probably think you're crazy.  Nothing else for it but to go to the nearest bathroom facility and make a pad out of 20 sheets of hard toilet paper.

4. Worrying about if it's started yet... 5 days before it does!

Image source Medical News TodayYou start to feel like something isn't right and don't know whether you're imagining that it feels wet or it actually is.  If you're with a friend, you'll ask her to check if blood has seeped through to your jeans but if you're on you're own, you'll try and swivel your neck around as far as possible for any evidence that you've started.

5.  Woo! It's time to change into granny pants

Image source The MirrorOnce you're back home it's time to ditch the thong and fish out the monthly granny pants.  It's not the time for a matching bra and pants set.  The pants look awful but you are starting to feel bloated and you need underwear that will cover your large belly that has appeared over the past few hours.

6. Do something or do .......ABSOLUTELY nothing

Image source FreepikIf it's not a work day your plans for the next 12 hours consist of .......... nothing.  You just want to sit around in a baggy tee-shirt and trackies or lie on the sofa in a foetal position and watch rubbish on the telly.  You want to be as anti-social as you can and speak to no one.

7. Hot water bottle time for those stomach cramps

Image source QuoraYour energy levels no longer register on the scale, even though you've consumed enough sugar to sink a ship and the stomach cramps have started.  This is the worst part and only a hot water bottle and a couple of paracetamols can help.  You feel sorry for yourself and keep huffing and puffing!

8. Forget going out ....... keep needing number 2s

Image source The MailWhy is it that during your period you spend a lot of time on the loo and we're not talking about going for a pee.  You need to empty your bowels far more often than usual and it's often a different consistency (sorry if you're eating).  However, it does help the period pains you're suffering with - so every cloud!

9. Are you leaking?  Do you need to change your tampon ......already?

Image source MasmiDuring the first few days of your menstrual cycle, you'll be popping  to the little girls' room all the time.  You don't want to start leaking and the flow is likely to be heavy.  Don't know why but you insist on looking at the tampon before it drops into the toilet.  Then you realise you have to fish it it out as it won't flush.

10.  How do you sneak one without anyone noticing?

Image source Sherman AveIf you're not at home and say at work and you need to change your pad or tampon, you'll do strange things when you need to go to the toilet, like hide it inside your sleeve or under your baggy jumper so no one knows you're on your period.  However, when you go back to your desk, a couple of your colleagues will ask if you're ok.

11. Oh heck .......... feels like a leak

Image source HealthlineThere's nothing worse, especially if you're out and about, than when the blood flow has been too heavy for the tampon and your big knickers have taken the brunt.  Nothing for it but to wrap a ton of toilet paper around the gusset of your pants and pray it will do the job until you get home.

12. Keep dropping things  ........ being so clumsy

Image source Calm ClinicWhy do you keep walking into furniture and dropping things during the time of the month?  Well, it's not just you.  Because your hormones are fluctuating, your liver starts to produce its own hormones.  This, in turn, affects your kidneys and causes bloating.  Your body will retain fluid and this makes it harder for you stay balanced.

13. Biggest decision ever ........gym or no gym?

Image source Verywell.comYou know that going to the gym will make you feel less sluggish  and give you a reason to leave the house but you just can't be bothered to make the effort.  In your mind, the treadmill has turned into a torture chamber and you don't have enough energy to lift the lightest dumb bell.  Exercise is known to improve mood and take the edge off stomach cramps but you don't care.

14. Padding up for night time .......feels like a nappy

Image source The GuardianYou can control how you deal with your period protection in the day time but during sleeping hours it's out of your control.  You could leak on to your 'period pyjamas' or, even worse, on to the bedding.  That's why you pad yourself up and feel like you're wearing a baby's nappy!

15. When you just have to look ...

Image source Healthtime.comWhy is it that you have to check 'the crime scene' of your posterior after you've sat on the toilet and heard a squelchy sound.  You need to see how much blood is there instead of just getting a couple baby wipes and cleaning yourself up.  Sounds gross but it's what happens.

16. Double Trouble for you and your partner

Image souce FreepikIf you are in a lesbian relationship, you'd think your partner would be much more understanding of the situation.  It doesn't work like that though.  You'll both end up having synchronised periods (it's a real thing) and that means double the mood swings and an atmosphere as cold as an ice cube.

17. One Flush Or Two .......need to remove the evidence

Image source Eatthis.comAfter your tenth trip to the toilet that day, why is it that flushing afterwards still leaves blood marks splattered around?  Forget conserving water - you will need to flush at least one more time to wash away any evidence of this 'curse' time.  You'll feel that everyone and everything is against you, even the damn lavatory.

18. You forget things ......or do you

Medical News TodayWhen you are on your period, you may feel a bit foggy because your hormones are changing so frequently and it's hard for your brain to keep up. You feel that you are more forgetful and can't remember even the simplest things like what you were going to make for your dinner.

19. Blood clots are yucky

Image source HealthlineDuring the middle of your period, probably just after the pain and discomfort has left your poor abdomen, you'll notice blood clots when you stare into the toilet after you've peed.  They can look quite frightening when they are big ones but it's mother nature doing her job.

20. Getting out of the shower without leaking isn't easy

Image source The MailWhen you've finished showering, you'll give a quick spritz around with the shower head to get rid of blood droplets in the cubicle and then you have to think quickly.  How are you going to get out of the shower and insert a tampon without getting any blood on the bathroom floor?  You'll have to be quick.

21. Paranoia - have I left a stain on the chair?

Image source FreepikYou'll be experiencing paranoia during your period about possibly leaving a stain on a chair so every time you get up from the seat, especially if you're in someone else's home, you will hopefully breathe a sigh of relief that nothing has escaped on to the upholstery.

22. Deeper Voice...... or am I imagining it?

Image source Mail OnlineDid you know that during your period, your voice gets deeper? Believe it or not, your voice can drop a few octaves although you may not even notice. This happens more in women who do not take any form of hormonal contraception.  Another thing to contend with!

23. Give me meat ........NOW!

Image source Eatthis.comDuring your period, you may notice you are craving meat even if you are not a big fan of it.  This means your iron levels are low, due to losing blood.  Listen to your body and feed it well.  It will give you more energy and may improve your mood, much to your family's relief.

24. Damn ........ feel like a balloon

Image source Sunday EditYou are your own worst enemy during the 5 days of the month.  It is not a good idea to weigh yourself when you're on as you'll be suffering with water retention.  You know this but you still want to get on the scales.  Seeing you are two pounds heavier than a few days ago will make you even more miserable

25. Adjustment ...... no one saw that, did they?

Image source NohatAlthough tampons are more discreet and you can swim with them etc, some females prefer pads and there is always that dreaded time when the sanitary pad moves and you try to adjust it through your clothes.  You try so hard to look inconspicuous and that's when people look at you in a strange way.

26. Ouch ...... everything hurts

Image source QuoraYou may notice that during, or right before, your period, you are much more sensitive to pain.  That will be everywhere and not just your tummy.  The breasts can also be quite tender as well. Pain is caused by the lowering of your oestrogen levels, which happens a day before your period starts.  Studies have shown that changes in hormones may affect various body responses including pain tolerance.

27. Stop craving and burn the calories

Image source CosmopolitanWhen your hormones are at a low point, during your period, it is  easier to get higher-intensity work outs and you are less likely to get tired quickly.  This means a better after-workout recovery and more calories burned.  If you are experiencing cravings, try a very ripe banana which is healthy but also sweet and it will take the edge off devouring a whole bar of Dairy Milk.

28. Nearing the end thank goodness

Image source QuoraIt's always the best pat of the day when you notice the bright red blood from your period has changed colour to a brownish hue.  This means you are through the worst and  close to regaining life as you once knew it - which was last week!  You won't be changing your period protection as frequently either as the flow will have slowed right down.

29. Goodbye frumpy knickers

Image source AccessorizeYou can finally stop wearing oversized pants and feel less frumpy.  The thong or Brazilian style underwear is ready to make an appearance and you can brush the crumbs from the whole packet of digestive biscuits from your bed.  You only meant to have 3 but that turned into unlucky 13!

30. Keep A Note - remember not to forget next month!

Image source Verywell HealthEvery month when your period starts you will decide that you must make a note of the date so you aren't taken by surprise next month.  The problem is that you are full of good intentions but don't get round to it so there is every chance you will come on without expecting it!

31. Try To Keep A Neutral Expression When You Feel The Biggest Blood Clot Come Out Mid Conversation

Image Source / HealthUnlockedThere's nothing you can do to control what wants to come out and when, but the worst feeling is when what feels like the titanic of blood clots decides to come out at a moment when you need to keep your poker face and not react to it. There's nothing like trying to hold a conversation when you can feel one come out.

32. Panic Everytime You Feel The Slighest Leak When You Know You're Due On

Image Source / theAsianparent"I just felt something - have I come on yet? I don't have a pad on, I need to run to the toilet right away! Oh wait, it's just a tiny bit of discharge. False alarm." And then it happens again five minutes later. There's nothing like the panic of knowing you're due on, but not quite knowing when it's gonna happen.

33. Sniff Your Pad To Check How Bad It Smells

Image Source / DyntIt might just be curiosity, or maybe you're just seeing if you can get away with keeping that particular pad on for a bit longer. But usually when you're sat on the toilet you might decide to take a quick hygiene sniff to see what it's all about.

34. Go All Day Without Changing Your Pad If You're Not Heavy

Image Source / Sustainably ChicYou've absolutely no choice in changing your pad if you've got a heavy flow that just won't quit, but if you're only light, you might think 'meh I'll just leave this one on for a little longer'. Maybe you're hardcore budgeting and think you can save a few pennies if you make the most out of one pad.

35. Use It As An Excuse To Eat Your Own Body Weight In Chocolate

Image Source / Sad and Useless Humor'It's fine because I'm on my period'. In our defence, periods do make you a lot hungrier than usual, and increase the craving for chocolate by about 150%. When you're on your period it just gives you a free pass to justify eating (and feeling) like a pig. And we're okay with it.

36. Wipe At Least 50 Times Every Time You Go To The Bathroom

Image Source / Buzzfeed NewsWiping is just the worst when you go to the toilet on your period, whether it's a number one or number two. The first ten wipes are going to just be to get rid of the blood and maybe even clots. Only then can you attend to actually wiping urine or poop away. You're gonna need an extra large pack of toilet roll, that's all I can say.

37. Consider Whether Period Sex Would Be Weird

Image Source / Refinery29Some people have sex on their period, no problem. Some people might refuse to, or be curious while thinking it's weird. Either way, the logistics of having sex whilst on your period is something most women have thought about at one time or another - especially when periods usually up your sex drive, conveniently.

38. Dig Out The Dark Pants

Image Source / The GuardianYou'd hope that with the proper pad or tampon, you never have to worry about leaking out, but unfortunately it's still something you have to live in fear of. That's why only wearing black pants during a period is a must-do - even if those white or beige coloured linens are calling to you!

39. Tried To Not Scream In Pain In Public When The Pad Sticks to Your Skin And Pulls

Image Source / WikipediaEven when you put a pad onto your knickers in the perfect position, it always finds a way to unstick and then catch on your skin when you're walking about - and usually in public. That tug on the skin or the feeling of the pad stuck to you is not only uncomfortable, but then you start to panic about blood bypassing the twisted pad altogether!

40. Or, The Same But When It Pulls On Your Pubic Hairs

Image Source / BuzzFeedEven worse is when the pad manages to twist and get stuck to all of your pubic hairs and then tug on them. Not only is it painful in the moment, but you're then faced with the mission of trying to unstick it without giving yourself a bikini wax.

41. Tried To Work Out How To Step Out Of The Shower Without Getting Blood Everywhere

Image Source / Artnet NewsEven if you put your fresh pair of knickers right next to the shower, there's nothing you can do about that initial 'one giant step for mankind' when you need to step out of the shower basin onto the bathroom floor. It's an SAS mission just to work out how quickly to step, where to step and whether you'll even make it.

42. And Then Failing And Getting Blood Everywhere Anyway

Image Source / John the Plumber Kansas CityBut of course when you step out of the shower, that's the time a fresh flow of blood always decides to come out. You have to dry yourself before you put on your underwear, too, and usually this is the moment your period things it's time to take the spotlight. Nothing like those blood spots on the bathroom lino!

43. Had To Hide Your Tampon Or Pad As You Run To The Bathroom

Image Source / The GuardianIf you're at work in an office, or in another public place, your period tools are going to be on your person or in your bag rather than in the bathroom. That means you have to navigate from your desk to the bathroom without everyone looking at your suspiciously. You might shove a tampon down your sleeve or cram a pad under your shirt as you make the journey.

44. Trying To Discreetly Check The Back Of Your Pants When You Stand Up

Image Source / ANDSISTERSYou can easily look down and check the seat for leaks when you stand up, but checking the back of your pants is a little trickier. If you're lucky, you have a friend with you who you can just quickly ask to take a peek, but if not, you're left with the very obvious manoeuvre of twisting round and checking out your own behind.

45. Wondering Whether It's Blood Or Just Sweat You Can Feel

Image Source / SoFeminineWhen you've been sat down for a while, and especially on a hot day, it's common to feel like your entire bottom is coated in something. Fingers crossed it's only sweat, but when you're on your period, your faced with the age-old question of is it blood or sweat, or both?

46. Let Your Natural Pubes Grow Out Because What's The Point

Image Source / CosmopolitanIf you usually like to keep it tidy down there, or go completely bald, it all changes when you're on the period. It's a mess anyway so why bother trying to keep it nice and tidy? You might decide that this one time a month is the time you just let everything grow out because you've no hope of keeping it clean anyway!

47. Used Toilet Paper In An Emergency

Image Source / The GuardianIt's always a good idea to have an emergency pad or tampon on your person no matter what, but sometimes you can be caught off guard if your period arrives a week early, for example. Most women have crammed a wad of toilet paper in their underwear as a makeshift pad until they can get their hands on the real deal!

48. You Blame Absolutely Everything On Your Period

Image Source / The Daily EdgeAlways hungry? Period. Crying at every advert you see on TV? Period. Neighbors being too noisy? Period. This is even more the case when you're not actually on your period yet and you start to think 'wait, why am I so tired all the time? Oh, of course... I'm due on!'.

49. When You Have To Crab Walk From The Bathroom Because You Forgot Your Underwear

Image Source / Home Gym ExercisesIf you're on autopilot, you might be so used to heading out of the bathroom in a towel and getting dressed in the bedroom. But when you're on your period, you need to have the forward thinking to take your underwear in there with you. So what happens when you forget? Well you have to hold some toilet roll in place while you crab walk to the bedroom, of course!

50. Had To Walk Like A Penguin Because The Blood Floodgates Just Opened And You Can Feel Everything Against Your Skin

Image Source / WiktionaryThose moments when you're going about your business and had a pad on but suddenly an ocean's worth of blood comes out and you can't even walk properly because it feels so icky rubbing up against you.