Strange things we all do (but don’t admit!)

Looking In Detail At Whatever You Left In The Toilet

Image Source / BritannicaWe all do it, and we've all done it. To be fair, it can be a good idea for medical reasons because, you know... you need to be sure your poo isn't blue or something weird like that. Needless to say, you definitely need to take a good look before you flush, no matter what.

Sitting With Your Hands Down Your Pants And Distractedly Stroking Your Pubes

Image Source / CosmopolitanNot for any particular reason, just sticking your hand down there because it's a comfortable way to sit (let's be honest) and then the next logical step is obviously to twirl your fingers around the hair that's there (if you're not clean shaven, of course, but if you are then you probably feel the stubble nonchalantly).

Smelling Your Fingers After Touching Any Place On Your Body

Image Source / RedditGot a particularly annoying itch in the deepest recess of your armpit? You've gotta smell your fingers afterwards, naturally. Itch down your pants? Gotta smell your fingers. Itching your neck, back, legs or feet? Wonder what that smells like.

Sneezing Without Covering Your Mouth When You're Alone So That It Sprays Everywhere

Image Source / WikipediaAll hygiene rules might go out the window when you're alone. You'd never dream of sneezing all over someone without covering your mouth (or maybe you would?) but when you're alone, you just decide to turn your head and sneeze and let that be that. Least it saves washing your hands afterwards.

Dropping Food On The Floor And Still Eating It Because You Really Wanted It

Image Source / GlamourDropping a snack or two in passing isn't too much of a big deal, but when you've been slaving away on the stove for your dinner when you're starving and then end up dropping something on the floor, is there anything worse? You'd just made that and you were already drooling over the thought of it eating it. So 10 second rule it is, as long as it looks all right to eat.

Blowing Your Nose On Your Top Because You Think 'I'll Just Put It In The Wash'

Image Source / YouTubeChances of this being a thing might be greater if you're ill in bed with a full on cold. But we've all found ourselves in a situation where there's no tissue, nothing to blow our noses on and panic strikes. Sometimes, a sleeve wipe just won't cut it when it's a full on blow that's needed and not a simple wipe. So be it - the t-shirt becomes the sacrifice and you put it straight in the laundry pile (or maybe just use it as a handkerchief for a while longer).

Peeing In The Shower

Image Source / www.self.comThis one's a tale as old as time, and I'm pretty sure anyone who says they've never peed in the shower is probably lying. You're all soaped up, you have shampoo in your eyes and you suddenly have a full bladder. It makes more sense to stay where you are than climbing out to the toilet, doesn't it?

Feeling super awkward leaving the store with nothing

Source: laughingsquid.comIt's always hard to leave a shop, especially a small one, empty handed without instantly feeling like a hardened shop-lifter. Anyone else ever waved at the security guard, just to make doubly clear that your hands are empty? To be honest, it probably makes you look more guilty...

Saying hi to someone you half know and then stopping. Why did you stop???

Source: RedditOh the agony. You should have left it at the awkward smile but you didn't. You said "hi" and then much, much worse: your feet, almost without your consent, stopped moving. If you're English it's fine, you can now discuss the weather. If not, good luck. We hope the small talk doesn't prove fatal.

Walking the wrong way and then pretending to look at your phone before rolling your eyes and turning around.

Source: Eat this, not thatWhy can't we just admit to ourselves (and the 0 people around us who care) that we just went the wrong way? We've checked pretend maps, paused to look in a shop window for a good 10 seconds, as well as blaming it on a pretend friend on the phone... Just admit it: your sense of direction sucks.

Waiting in the stall until the next person flushes

Source: Daily MailThis is most likely just a girl thing... but we all know we go to restrooms to well... we all know why. So why do we often feel so awkward about it that we need to sit there and wait for everyone to leave, or at least flush or use the hand dryer? Crazy.

Being addicted to WedMD

Source: ThrillistHands up who's quickly gone from having the sniffles to having fun-blown Dengue Fever? Web MD is one slippery slope and, despite knowing this, we all fall victim to it every time we get even a tiny bit poorly. Stay. Off. Web. MD. It's bad for your health (ironically.)

"So sorry, my reply didn't go through..."

Source: Her normWe can't possibly admit to ignoring people for days now can we? But we all use this old chestnut and probably all still accept it as a legit reason for a tardy reply. Full disclosure, one of us actually (back in the days of SMS and dodgy coverage) full on composed and sent a message full of ::/// "from Virgin", containing a long passed date and time to excuse forgetting to message a friend on their birthday. Probably wouldn't work on WhatsApp...

Saying bye to no one

Source: Boing BoingSo your cheek cut off your call or the signal failed - happens all the time. However, we seem to feel the need to said "bye" to absolutely no one to say face. Again, why do we care? It happens to all of us. Also, why can't we seem to say "bye" once anymore? "Bye bye" is fairly normal, but most of us seem to go for 5 or 6 "bye"s these days. Just hang up already!

Turning the music down so you can see better

Source: Sharp BrainsIs it even possible to park your car whilst listening to Lady Gaga on full volume? Apparently not, as none of us seem willing to try. The same is true of driving places we don't know. Clearly we shouldn't trust ourselves to listen to music in ever so slightly tense situations, it throws us right off our game.

Never knowing the correct amount of eye contact

Source: powerofpositivity.comEver been so uncomfortable in a conversation that you've missed the majority of what was being said because you were concentrating so hard on maintaining a non-weird amount of eye contact? Yup, us too. Sure, you could try the old "look at the spot just between their eyebrows" trick, but if you're too close that'll just make you look cross-eyed.

Someone's buying the thing you want...

Source: Northern Trade Works...so you pretend to be browsing for something else nearby until they're done. Saying "excuse me" seems too much and reaching across them is just rude (even if they're taking FOREVER.) Just be careful if this happens in the toiletries aisle or in a drug store. You could end up mindlessly staring at all sorts of slightly awkward things you definitely did not have on your list.

Pointlessly putting your music on shuffle

Source: StreamDiagWe all have a long, poorly organised playlist of songs we 'like', but sticking it on shuffle will ultimately lead to a whole load of unnecessary skipping. Just admit to yourself: you just want to listen to the same 4 songs you've had on repeat all week. It's fine. No judgement here.

Waiting for your phone to stop ringing so you can carry on tweeting

Source: TwitterSomehow, they'll know, right? That unknown number or slightly awkward Aunt who always calls at the worst time (who even calls anymore anyway? Just text!) ... but for some reason, and maybe we can blame WhatsApp's "online" feature for this, we are incapable of swiping the call away and carrying on with whoever we'd rather do than chat to Auntie Heather. She'll somehow know we're on our phone. Surely.

Accusing everyone of sitting on the remote

Source: How to GeekIf you've sat on a remote, you'll know that you know you've sat on the remote. They're not small beasts (especially these days). However, when the beast is lost, we always ask everyone if it's unknowingly stuck underneath them and then demand they prove it's not. If you've got small kids or a dog, sorry, but that thing  could literally be anywhere. Good luck, brave hunter.

When you want to leave as someone sits down

Source: iNewsWe really are hung up on not offending complete strangers aren't we? It must have happened to us all: you're ready to leave, then someone sits down next to you so you sit there politely for several minutes so they don't think it was their fault. Sigh. We've got places to be, you know?

LOL!!!! Not really. Lol.

Source: BuzzfeedLOL is arguably the most frequently used lie of a generation. When was the last time you replied "LOL", or variations of, when you barely even chuckled, or, let's get real, found it funny at all? Maybe LOL is really code for "I know you're expecting me to find this funny, and I really like you and don't want to offend you so I'll play along."

That weird trip-jog thing

Source: YoutubeTripping as an adult is just embarrassing. So to somehow make it less so, we add this little jog after doing it, as if we frequently do a tiny shuffle in the middle of a stroll. There's no way to win here though. If we ignore the trip, it's weird and if we laugh about it, we're drawing too much attention to it... so what are we supposed to do???

Forgetting how to type as soon as anyone watches you

Source: RedditIt happens to the best of us, so don't feel bad. Even if your typing is usually top level, as soon as anyone (God forbid your boss) starts to look over your shoulder, however innocently, it all goes to pot, right? So embarrassing. It's not like you can comment on how bad you suddenly are or blame them for it to their face!

Feeling like an absolute legend when you hit the exact dollar at the gas pump

Source: AudacyIs there a more satisfying feeling in life? It doesn't matter that you're paying on card anyway and, unless you actually get around to checking your statement this month, you'll never care this happened ever again ... but oh man. For those 3 seconds, and during the silent respect you know the cashier is sending your way, you're a gas pumping hero.

Weird spelling habits

Source: RedditB-e-a-uuuutiful. Wed-nes-day. Evian -> naive. We're got all our special spelling things. That first one is 100% the fault of Bruce Almighty, but oh boy is it helpful (way too many vowels in that word.) If anyone has any good tips for how to spell 'nauseous' that would be great; always struggling with that one.

Putting your arm in the air

Source: 9GAGAnyone else do this when they're lying down? It's a weirdly nice feeling, right? And totally unnecessary but we still do it regularly. A friend of ours used to sleep with their legs in the air which is perhaps taking things too far. But if you've never thought to do it, you're missing out. Go try it. Now!

Practising arguments in your head

Source: WikihowOr even re-doing arguments you've already had (and probably lost) and changing the outcome. Yes, most of us like to be prepared in life, but when have you ever been in an argument you've already had with yourself and remembered all your best points? Annoying how the other person never seems to remember their lines either. Not helpful.

Owning soooo many clothes we don't wear

Source: Travel TriangleThere will always be times in life where your size fluctuates and you'll need to keep a hold of things which don't fit for later (being pregnant for instance.) But let's face it, there are several things in all our closets which fit just fine, but we hate how look in them, or haven't fit since junior high and we are genuinely deluding ourselves about ever fitting into them again. Take the plunge folks. Thrift store, here we come.

Double checking to see if you've developed kinetic powers

Source: Office PranksWe'd all love to be Matilda. Basically because we're secretly all lazy and would rather watch a show we're not that into, than get off the sofa and find the remote. Right now we wish we could summon the cake in the kitchenette over to our desk but it's probably best for our calorie intake that we have to move to make that happen. Doesn't mean we won't just give it a quick test from time to time; just in case.

Double checking an empty fridge

Source: Deposit photosNo one seems to believe an empty fridge upon first viewing. Yes, those shelves were utterly and completely empty, but what if some tiny morsel appeared after the light switched off?  We might have a magic fridge, you never know! A bit Star Treky that hope, but still, we all seem to do it.

Keeping your eyes closed on the toilet at night

Source: ShutterstockNeeding to pee in the night it just the worst. Who doesn't love a night cup of cocoa or soothing herbal tea before bed? But, as get older especially, the consequences almost make it not worth it. But we have a cunning solution! Keep your eyes closed while you go, and your body will think you're still asleep so you won't 'lose your sleepiness.' Right?

Having to re-read whole chunks of writing

Source: MEMEIt's amazing how easily your mind can drift when you're reading, right? Even though the whole point of it is to focus your imagination completely, our minds literally seem to have minds of their own. The question is, why do we keep 'reading' when we've stopped reading? It would be much more helpful if our eyes just stalled at the last thing we actually took in.

The "yes" lie

Source: Wall St. Watchdog"Have you seen x?" "Did you hear what z said about y?" "That game was amazing. Did you watch it?" Here comes the second biggest lie after LOL... "yes." Yes we saw/watched/heard that very interesting tidbit you're telling us about. No we're not an uncultured savage who doesn't know anything about anything and who lives under a bridge. Honestly...

Going to check the time on your phone and do anything but

Source: RedditIt's pretty nifty, having access to a huge chunk of all human knowledge, the best photographs ever taken and the most incredible music ever composed, all on a relatively small device you can keep in your pocket. No wonder you go to check the time, get distracted by memes of cats and forget all about it.

Pretending to still be intersted in something once the price has horrified you to your core

Source: Dreamstime.comDo we just hate admitting we don't have endless amounts of cash? Really, who does these days? And why do we care that the shop assistant or random person next to us might judge us for changing our mind about a purchase? It's ok to think some things are over priced, because sometimes, they are.

Carrying way too much in from the car

Source: Chiropractors in BlackwoodWe all like to make it in one drip right? Even if we do then need to go back for our handbag, phone or to shut the boot. Who cares? We got the rest of the shopping mountain indoors in one go and that's what's important here. We can ignore the grooves the bags have cut into our arms or a couple of dead fingers. We still made it.

Thinking How Easy It Would Be Too Move The Steering Wheel And Veer Off The Road

Image Source / RankerHear me out: I don't mean seriously considering it or serious suicidal thoughts or anything, just that weird thought we all have when driving at high speed just thinking if you just slightly turned the wheel to the left or right, that would be it... knowing you'd never do it but also being aware how terrifyingly easy it would be.

Have Fake Interviews With Yourself

Image Source / The New York TimesDon't lie - you've done it at one point or another. Who said only celebrities can have interviews? You have a full on conversation as though you're answering interview questions while having your morning shower, maybe being yourself or a whole new famous persona.

Reading An Email Right After You Sent It

Image Source / CheezburgerYou know the email was fine because you proofread it 50 times, but for some reason you still have to read it one more time even after you've clicked 'sent' just to see how it sounds and what the person reading it will likely make of it.

Saying OW Even Though You're Not Hurt

Image Source / Dancing in the rain - WordPress.comIt's a knee-jerk reaction - a friend goes to playfully punch you but they haven't even made contact before you say OOWWWW. And even if it does make contact and still doesn't hurt, you have to say OW - thems just the rules.

Feeling Like It's A Crime To Have Your Wipers On Full Crazy Speed

Image Source / CheezburgerYour wipers are there to keep you safe when driving so that you can, you know, actually see. But for some reason when it's absolutely pelting it down, it still feels like every other driver is going to judge you for having your wipers on high-speed. And then the minute you see someone else doing it you think YES and the guilt goes away as you click them up a notch.

Getting The Perfect TV Show Loaded Up Before Eating

Image Source / The Funny BeaverYou can't start eating your food until a TV show is loaded and ready to go. Even if this means your food going cold because you're surfing Netflix for half an hour - it doesn't matter, because the alternative of having nothing to watch is far worse.

Think About What You'd Do If Someone Broke Into Your Home

Image Source / Daily MailNot even as a proper safety planning precaution, just a pure panic thought of 'Right so if they came in that way while I'm in the shower, what would I actually do? Would I even be brave enough to run or would I just stand there?' Then you start debating whether you'd actually fit through that tiny window nearby.

Screwing Up Your Face And Bracing For Impact When You Drop The Soap Bar In The Shower

Image Source / PinterestIs it going to slam onto your foot? Is it going to bounce back and hit you? Or is it just going to make the biggest bang ever? You'll never know, and in those few moments of panic waiting for impact, you can only cross your fingers and hope for the best.

Pretending To Text In Public So No One Will Talk To You

Image Source / iFunnyBut tapping random buttons isn't enough because that just looks like browsing instead of actually typing out a message and you need to look as engrossed as possible, so you end up typing out an actual message of nonsense like 'Hello it's me I'm typing this because I'm pretending to message but I'm not actually going to send this okay bye'.

Reading The Microwave Instructions On The Packet, Throwing The Packet Away And Then Forgetting

Image Source / The KitchnYou read it. You read it again, just to be sure. 2 minutes in the microwave, then stir, no big deal. You throw the packet away. Immediately forget and panic and have to pick the packaging back up again. This is where recycling does come in handy, though, because chances are it's a cardboard sleeve that you hopefully hadn't thrown in the main bin.

Drinking From A Water Bottle That Hasn't Been Cleaned In Decades

Image Source / Outdoor LifeCleaning your water bottle ALWAYS falls on the backburner - because it's only had water in it, so you just think it's self-cleaning, right? Not that it matters that your gob has been on it all day every day. And the worst part is you know

it hasn't been cleaned and you know it should

be cleaned, but you still carry on drinking from it anyway.

Never Cleaning Your Earbuds

Image Source / OneZero MediumYou use them every day. And that's why you don't have time to clean them. Too busy listening to music. Yes, you can see the dirt build up, and yes, they're covered in ear wax of course. But who has time to clean when playlists need to be shuffled?

Having At Least One Of Those Days Where You Don't Wash Or Change Your Clothes

Image Source / RedditOne of those days where you get up and don't make a single move towards water, toothpaste or deodorant. You don't even change out of whatever you were wearing for bed. You continue the day in the same state, and when it ends, you get right back into bed with the pyjamas you already had on from last night, teeth still uncleaned.

Laughing At Things That Aren't Funny

image source: reddit.com

Laughter, that unique human expression, often defies logic by bubbling up at the most unexpected times. It's a fascinating phenomenon, the way humans chuckle, giggle, or burst into uproarious laughter, sometimes at things that lack any inherent humor. This intriguing reaction is a testament to the complexity of human emotions.

Taking Weird Superstitions VERY Seriously

image source: reddit.com

Superstitions, those fascinating beliefs in luck, omens, or rituals, have woven themselves into the fabric of human cultures for centuries. These curious convictions often defy rational explanation, yet they hold a powerful sway over many individuals. Whether it's avoiding walking under ladders, crossing fingers for good luck, or carrying lucky charms.

Picking Your Nose Without Even Realizing It

image source: reddit.com

The simple yet peculiar act of nose-picking is one of those behaviors that often slip into human actions almost reflexively, often without conscious awareness. Despite the social stigma attached to it, nose-picking seems to transcend age, culture, and circumstance.

Talking To Yourself Constantly

image source: reddit.com

The phenomenon of self-talk, where individuals engage in conversations with themselves, is a captivating aspect of human behavior. Often mistaken as a sign of eccentricity, this practice serves various purposes beyond mere dialogue. Sometimes, it's a tool for self-encouragement, a way to bolster confidence or rally inner strength during challenging moments.

Forgetting Why You Entered A Room

image source: reddit.com

The curious act of entering a room with a purpose, only to forget that purpose upon arrival, is a quirk of human memory that resonates universally. This lapse in memory, often a momentary and seemingly inconsequential event, speaks volumes about the intricate workings of the human mind.

Pretending To Be Busy When Someone's Around

image source: reddit.com

The art of feigning busyness when in the company of others is a curious social dance that humans often perform. Whether it's in a bustling office setting, a social gathering, or simply in public spaces, this act of appearing occupied seems to be a subtle yet prevalent part of human interaction.

Obsessively Taking Selfies - EVERYWHERE

image source: reddit.com

The modern obsession with taking selfies reflects a unique facet of human behavior deeply embedded in the digital era. It's more than just snapping photos; it's a phenomenon rooted in self-expression, validation, and connectivity. Selfies serve as a tool for constructing and curating one's identity in the digital realm.

Double-Dipping Your Food

image source: reddit.com

The controversial act of double-dipping food, wherein someone dips a chip or food item into a communal sauce after taking a bite, embodies a social conundrum that strikes a delicate balance between hygiene and communal courtesy. While some consider it a breach of etiquette due to potential germ transmission, others view it as an innocuous action.

Obsessive Hoarding And Collecting Items

image source: reddit.com

Hoarding, the compulsion to accumulate and store excessive quantities of items, often deemed unnecessary or even worthless, sheds light on the complex interplay between emotions, attachment, and psychological impulses. This behavior goes beyond mere collecting; it's a manifestation of deep-seated emotional ties to possessions.

Making Weird Faces In The Mirror

image source: reddit.com

The curious habit of making odd faces in the mirror simply to observe their appearance is a playful yet introspective behavior that humans often engage in. It's a peculiar fascination with the malleability of one's own facial expressions, a momentary exploration of the spectrum of emotions and the flexibility of their features.

Googling Yourself

image source: reddit.com

The act of Googling oneself, often dismissed as a narcissistic tendency, is more than just vanity; it's a reflection of the modern digital landscape's impact on personal identity. In an era where our online presence shapes perceptions, career opportunities, and social interactions, self-searching becomes a form of self-management.

Trying To Make It Through A Closing Door

image source: reddit.com

The curious human tendency to attempt squeezing through closing doors, even when the chances of success are slim, embodies an intriguing mix of determination and a hopeful spirit. It's a gesture that seems almost instinctual—a last-ditch effort driven by a desire to avoid waiting or a reluctance to accept the inconvenience of missing the passage.

Talking During Movies

image source: reddit.com

The act of talking during movies, often seen as a breach of movie theater etiquette or a disturbance in a home setting, can sometimes stem from an involuntary reaction rather than intentional disruption. Humans possess a natural inclination towards social interaction, and watching a movie triggers emotional responses that occasionally compel verbalization.

Counting Stairs (Why?)

image source: reddit.com

The curious act of counting stairs, often without any apparent purpose or necessity, reveals the intriguing intricacies of human cognition and habits. For some, counting steps becomes a spontaneous mental exercise, a subconscious ritual that provides a sense of order or structure in an otherwise mundane task.

Singing In The Shower Specifically

image source: reddit.com

Singing in the shower, often with gusto and abandon, transforms an everyday activity into a private concert stage for many individuals. The shower's acoustics, combined with the solitude it offers, create an irresistible invitation for uninhibited vocal expression. It's a moment where inhibitions fade, and the sheer joy of music takes center stage.

Wearing Socks That Don't Match

image source: reddit.com

The intentional act of wearing mismatched socks, despite the availability of matching pairs, embodies a playful and rebellious streak in human expression. It's a deliberate departure from the norm, a subtle assertion of individuality within the constraints of everyday attire. Often seen as a fashion faux pas in conventional circles.

Listening To Other People's Conversations

image source: reddit.com

Eavesdropping, the inadvertent act of listening to snippets of other people's conversations, reflects the natural curiosity woven into human interactions. Often occurring unintentionally, it's a consequence of proximity and the innate inclination to absorb information from our surroundings. It's not always driven by nosiness; rather, it's a byproduct of the human brain's constant processing of sensory stimuli.

Making A Wish On An Eyelash

image source: reddit.com

The tradition of making wishes upon eyelashes or stars speaks volumes about the enduring allure of superstitions and the human desire for hope and magic. It's a charming ritual deeply ingrained in cultural folklore, transcending generations and geographical boundaries.

Checking The Fridge Repeatedly

image source: reddit.com

The repetitive act of checking the fridge, even when one is aware that it holds no surprises, speaks volumes about the intricate relationship humans have with routine and habit. It's a behavior deeply ingrained in the subconscious, often driven by a desire for reassurance or a quest for a momentary distraction.

Repeating Words Until They Sound Weird

image source: reddit.com

The phenomenon of repeating words until they lose their meaning, known as semantic satiation, offers a fascinating glimpse into the intricacies of human language perception. It's a peculiar yet relatable experience where the constant repetition of a word turns it into a mere string of sounds, momentarily disconnecting it from its associated meaning.