What These Subconscious Behaviours Mean

Twisting your hair

Source: botoxcapilar.orgWe all know the standard, Hollywood reason as to why girls twirl their hair - she be doing some serious flirtin'. However, in real life, well, yes it can mean that, but also it shows nerves or discomfort. If the context is a job interview for example, she (or he, if the mop is long enough), is probably nervous. Either that or the interviewer is super hot.

Fidgeting with hands or accessories

Source: MellowedMy best mate is terrible for this - it's a miracle she's not lost her wedding ring yet. But it's not just rings we subconsciously fiddle with: watches, bracelets, our own hands... This can simply be a habit we've picked up or it's a sign that we're bored, but interestingly it can also be a defence mechanism. Rather than crossing our arms, we use accessories to shield our bodies from things we find unpleasant.

Tilting your head

Source: MEMEThis one if often misunderstood as a sign of confusion. Many people subconsciously tilt their heads when they are listening intently or really invested in when they're hearing. You'll have to work out from context whether you're being engaging or confusing.

Holding your hands behind your back

Source: iStock 

This one, you might have to work out from context as people do it for a whole host of reasons. In movies, it's a power move, often used by mafia Dons or high ranking cops. People with military training might simply stand that way out of habit, or to show respect. Others may do with when they feel a bit awkward and their arms suddenly feel too long (know what we mean?)

Crossed arms

Source: IngflipSo again, Hollywood has us believing a partial truth. Yes, people do cross their arms when they're mad or frustrated, but much more commonly, they do it when stressed or anxious. Maybe you've broached a subject they feel defensive about. Maybe they're subconsciously trying to hug themselves as they feel really vulnerable. Watch out for context.

Clearing your throat

Source: loveforquotes.comThis one is super annoying, right? But if you're ill, there's not much you can do about it, sadly. However, if you're perfectly healthy, you might find yourself clearing your throat if you're nervous or unsure about what to say. Stand-up comics will often do it at gigs, possibly if they're subconsciously worried how their next gag will go down.. Some people of course, do it when they're annoyed; if that's you, stop it. Thanks.

Rubbing or touching your nose

Source: Science of PeopleIf you do this a lot, particularly with your index finger, watch out. While you may be doing it when you're thinking hard about something (as can be the case), it can make you appear dishonest to anyone watching you. Try to avoid doing it if you're having an open conversion with someone - it may derail the whole thing.

Drumming fingers

Source: gfcatWe've all done this and yes, it usually means you're restless, bored, or impatient. It can even denote anger in some people. If you're prone to doing this when you don't feel these things (you fidget) try and do it somewhere less obvious, like on your leg. It can really offend people.

Placing your hand on your cheek

Source: Westside ToastmastersWhen you touch your cheek without thinking about it, it usually means you're taking something seriously or thinking hard about something. So, good news if the person you're chatting with does this, you've got their attention; unless they then close their eyes and fall asleep, obvs.

Pinching The Bridge Of Your Nose

Source: Medical News TodayThere are two possible reasons someone might pinch their nose. Firstly, they may be in pain, so grab the aspirin if other cues make you think this is the case. Alternatively, they might just be fed up or think you're completely barking up the wrong tree with what you're saying. In short - it doesn't mean anything good.

Looking up

Source: iStock

Usually when people glance up, they are accessing their imagination. This could therefore, indicate they aren't about to tell you the truth or are elaborating. Of course, it could just be a sign they are happy or relieved (like a soccer player after scoring a goal), hence the phrase "chin up." Eye rolling, of course, if different...

Shaking your leg

Source: Return 2 HealthWe all know someone with restless leg syndrome: people who just can't keep their legs still, crossing, uncrossing, shaking, tapping... This can be due to their body's need to get up and move, so maybe encourage a walk if it's bothering you. Alternatively, they might be stressed or uncomfortable, so try and put them at ease.

Stomping

Source: IngflipAny parents of toddlers will be well aquatinted with this one, and yes, it usually shows annoyance in young people. Adults can stomp when they get angry too, although it's not very comfortable so if you do it, you'll know. People also stomp in an attempt to be intimidating. Or maybe they just need better fitting shoes...

Rubbing your eyes

Source: ingflipSure, people rub their eyes when they're tired (this is because we are subconsciously trying to blink less to keep ourselves awake, which in turned dries our eyes.) People also have a tendency to rub their eyes when they're unhappy with something that was just said, but usually, they just need a kip.

Jutting out your chest

Source: ingflipPower pose alert. If someone you're speaking to sticks their chest out, often also placing their hands on their hips and/or sticking their chin up, you're being power posed, baby. Standing like this is meant to increase confidence, make us feel stronger and more competent. It's also a way of handling stressful situations.

Steepling your fingers

Source: InsiderAh the move of movie villains and CEOs. Making a steeple using your fingers is undoubtedly a subconscious expression of power and control. It can also be the sign of an expert about to express their deep knowledge of a subject. Make sure you really are in control if you sit with your hands like this: you've set the bar high.

Pulling your ear

Source: The Body Language ProjectIf your toddler does this, they're most likely teething or have an ear-ache. But as an adult, we tend to pull our ears when trying to make a decision or work out the best course of action. This can make us look indescisive or unsure, so try and avoid it if you're trying to lead a meeting.

Crossing your legs

Source: Newsweek.comHow you cross your legs can say a lot about you. Crossing them at the ankle, for example, can mean you're trying to hide something. Crossing at the knee but pointing your knees away from someone, can mean you're uncomfortable with that person. If you stick one ankle over the opposite knee, it shows power and dominance. If you're a real stickler for how you come across, maybe keep both feet on the floor (and definitely wear good underpants, right Sharon?)

Getting too close

Source: PinterestIt's often hard to tell if you're the one standing too close; chances are, you're a physical person who's comfortable with others. If you often stand close to people you like, it might mean that physical touch is your love language (we've got an article on that - check it out!) Just be careful that other people are comfortable with where you're positioning yourself. If people often shift their feet or lean away from you slightly, back up a bit.

Closing your eyes

Source: My NationEspecially if accompanied by a sigh, someone closing their eyes mid-conversation is usually a clear sign of frustration, impatience etc. It's almost like they're hoping that, when they open them again, the situation will be different and they won't have to deal with it anymore!

Hands balled into fists

Source: The VergeBit of an obvious one - if someone clinches their fist, they're angry, or at least frustrated. This happens when our mind is subconsciously preparing us for a fight or altercation. It could simply be however, that we have stiff knuckles and want to move them. Just don't do it too much, ok?

Nail biting

Source: CosmopolitanThis one is more of a habit than a subconscious trait, but one which can reveal personality traits nonetheless. You're more likely to bite your nails if you're feeling insecure or nervous, and can do so without realising it, at all. It's really bad for your hands and mouth though, so do try and stop.

Staring

Source: TwitterStaring is usually associated with attraction (thank you again, Hollywood.) Sure, we've all found it hard to keep our eyes off someone we fancy from time to time; but don't do it too much, it's creepy. However, a lesser known reason people stare is in a subconscious attempt to achieve dominance in a situation. Just like in a staring contest, they who stare longest, win.

Fig leaf pose

Source: TwitterThis pose is supposedly an attempt to look smart or serious, but many body language experts think it actually communicates unease or an introverted nature. Fair enough, who's ever felt comfortable in a posed office pic? Unless you're a soccer player facing a penalty - then it just makes good sense to cover up "down there."

Locked ankles

Source: magicalapparatus.comAnother sign of nervousness or apprehension is when people sit or stand with their ankles very close together (either crossed or next to each other.) This could be a subconscious effort to make oneself as compact as possible, hoping to disappear as it were.

Unable to meet people's gaze

Source: makeameme.orgEye contact might be a conscious thing, but depending how we feel, it's not always easy to control. Good eye contact makes a good impression (as long as you don't over do it) and helps make people feel heard and valued. Even if someone if smiling however, they can betray an unhappy or worried disposition by being unable to hold someone's gaze. It can also reveal shame or embarrassment.

Hands on the hips

Source: Cheezeburger.comIt's quite a comfortable way to stand, right? Especially if we're too warm. However, standing with your hands on your hips is a clear indication of conflict. Even if it's your favourite way to stand, avoid it if you need to have a delicate work chat or broach a tricky topic with a loved one. By making yourself look bigger, you establish a dominant position, which may not be helpful in these situations.

Touching

Source: TwitterWoah, we could write a whole article on this one, but the point is, some people are simply not aware of how much they touch people. If they are a tactile, possibly extroverted person who is at ease in the situation they're in, they may not consider the fact that others aren't quite in that arena.  A high five, shoulder tap or arm squeeze can tell you a lot about how at least one person feels about a relationship.

Looking around

Source: The Modern ManThis is almost aways a subconscious sign of boredom. If you can't be bothered with something, your brain will automatically start looking around for something else to do. The same thing is the case when people take our their smart phones without needing to: they are bored bored bored.

Rubbing hands together

Source: TwitterIf you do this a lot, chances are you are an excitable individual or are currently waiting for something really exciting to happen. Be careful not to over do it though, it can make you look like a greedy cartoon villain. Unless, of course, you've just got poor circulation, in which case, you do you.