Signs You Are Overly Obsessed With Your Partner

By Sarah Jones 11 months ago

1. Your whole world revolves around them

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We’re not saying it’s not normal to think about your partner during the day. They’re a big part of your life, so these feelings are natural. But if you reach the point where you become so focused on them that everything in your world relates to them, you might need to start working on your fixation with them.

2. You start avoiding your family and friends to hang out with them

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When we’re in the honeymoon stage of a relationship, many people are guilty of ditching their other loved ones to hang out with their partner. But if you’re neglecting your family and friends on a regular basis to fuss over your significant other, you might need to do some reflection. It’s healthy to balance our time with our partner with other people too.

3. You'll drop everything to take a call from them

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A lot of us will do what we can to take calls from our partners, but sometimes, it’s just not possible. Work, studies and responsibilities can all get in the way, as we don’t always have tons of time to spend chatting on the phone for hours on end. So if you’re spending a lot of time on the phone with your partner for no reason in particular, think about whether this is healthy for both of you. It might be better to set specific times to talk instead.

4. Your relationship is all you talk about

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Is your partner the only thing you talk about? If you’re having to ask yourself that question, chances are, you already know the answer. If you’re catching your friends rolling their eyes or becoming disinterested when you’re talking about your other half, check in with yourself. Every topic of conversation shouldn’t be a prompt for you to talk about them.

5. Your emotional wellbeing depends on your partner's mood

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If your mood is completely dependent on where you stand with your partner, you’re too obsessed with the relationship. Their feelings, whether happy or sad, shouldn’t dictate your own. While we can all feel a bit rubbish when we’ve had an argument with our other half, it shouldn’t be the center point of your emotions.

6. Your partner's needs outweigh your own

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A sign of codependency is when you continuously put your partner’s needs above your own. People with a lack of boundaries can often find that they become a pushover in their relationships, as their need to people-please can outweigh their own wants and needs. Feelings of obsession in a relationship enter this territory too.

7. You've stopped doing things you used to love

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If you’ve stopped doing things you once enjoyed and they’re on the back burner, you might have arrived at an unhealthy place in your relationship. It’s about striking a balance between your partner and doing things that make you happy – not sacrificing your passions in order to spend time with someone.

8. Your emotions are increasingly unpredictable

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Are your emotions becoming increasingly erratic or unpredictable? This might be a sign that you’re obsessing over your relationship too much. Obsession can give us wild ups and downs, to the point that it can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. Once our partner has reached an elevated status in our lives, it can make us a lot less rational.

9. Your friends and family show concern

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This might be an obvious one, but if your loved ones tell you that you’re a little obsessed with your partner, chances are, it’s probably true. They will have picked up on the signs long before you, and will want to make sure you’re ok. Try not to shrug off their thoughts, as it can be really difficult to recognize the signals of a codependent relationship when you’re in one.

10. You regularly accuse them of cheating

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If you’re obsessed with your partner, you’ll probably have a core fear of being abandoned – which can result in regular accusations of cheating. Your intrusive thoughts might be nagging you about this a lot, so you can end up projecting your insecurities onto your other half, which really isn’t healthy.

11. You check their messages

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A fear of being abandoned doesn’t just result in accusations of cheating – it can mean checking their messages too. If you’re finding yourself trying to read their texts and emails, it’s time to take a step back. Obsessing over who your partner’s in touch with won’t do you any good, and may end up causing problems for both of you.

12. You get clingy

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No matter what kind of relationship you’re in, being clingy is NOT cool. It can actually interfere with relations between you and your partner, so it’s healthy to try and address your obsession with them and focus more on yourself. Your life won’t end because your partner has gone out with their friends for a while.

13. You're upset when you're not with them

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If being away from your partner causes you stress and upset, it’s a big sign that you might be codependent. You’re your own person, and it’s healthy and normal to spend time away from your other half. If you’re joined at the hip, it might be time to have a conversation with them about it, as relationships need healthy boundaries to survive for the long term.

14. You text them constantly when you're apart

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The first thing you do after leaving their house is text them that you miss them. And you’re then locked into a constant text conversation until you next see each other. While there’s nothing wrong with checking in with each other, constant texting might be a sign that you’re a little obsessed with your other half.

15. You stalk their social media accounts

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The first thing you do after leaving their house is text them that you miss them. And you’re then locked into a constant text conversation until you next see each other. While there’s nothing wrong with checking in with each other, constant texting might be a sign that you’re a little obsessed with your other half.

16. You only do things that gain their approval

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Not sure what to eat for dinner? You’ve got to ask your other half. Unsure whether to buy some new trainers? You’ve got to ask your other half. These signs show that you’re unable to make a decision without asking their opinion, which can do damage to you over time. It’s important to be able to make decisions yourself, without asking for their approval.

17. You feel offended when they choose to spend time with their friends instead of you

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When your partner spends time with their friends, it doesn’t mean they prefer their company over you, or vice versa. It’s healthy and normal to have friendships and spend time with people other than our significant other, so you don’t need to feel upset by it. If you’re taking offense by their time away from you, it might be a sign of codependency.

18. You don't like their friends (especially those of the opposite gender)

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One major symptom of being obsessed with your partner is wanting to have control over them – especially when it comes to who they hang out with. You may feel threatened by your partner’s friends, and have a particular dislike for those of the opposite sex. This can get exhausting for your other half very quickly.

19. You check how long it's been since you last text them

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Yes, WhatsApp has a default setting that tells you when someone was last online. But this shouldn’t be abused, because let’s face it – we all get busy, and we’re not always in a position to drop everything to text someone back. Don’t be checking up on when they last read your messages, because you’ll just drive yourself crazy.

20. You get angry or upset if they don't give you their whereabouts

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Obsessive partners can end up controlling every little detail of their significant other’s life. So if you find yourself getting angry or upset that your other half didn’t keep you updated on their exact whereabouts during their day, you need to start easing up, as this kind of behavior can end relationships.

21. You need constant reasurrance

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If you’re dependent on your partner and constantly need reassurance that they love you and miss you, you might be getting a little bit obsessed. People who are insecure can end up falling into this trap, sometimes unintentionally, so try and check in with yourself and assess whether your behavior is over the line. You can also speak openly about this to your partner.

22. You stalk their exes

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If you find yourself stalking your partner’s exes on social media, it might be time to reduce the amount of time you spend on the internet. No good will come of this, as you’ll end up driving yourself mad about why your partner was with them. Some people even end up comparing themselves to their partner’s exes, which isn’t great for your mental wellbeing.

23. You try and 'surprise' them

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Sometimes obsessive partners can barge in on their other half’s plans all in the name of a ‘surprise’. If you find yourself doing this, stop. This isn’t a good look, and it’s unhealthy to crave constant attention, responses and conversations with your partner – especially when they’re busy. If you’re not invited, don’t go and see them. Take time to pre-arrange plans with them instead.

24. You're always ready for last-minute plans with them

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If you’re the obsessed one in the relationship, last-minute plans might always be agreed on with a positive nod and a big smile on your face. But be careful, as this can come back to bite you. It will give the impression that you’ll never deny them what they want, which isn’t a good precedent to set in a relationship.

25. You go overboard with the compliments

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Don’t get us wrong – everyone likes to hear compliments from their partner now and then. But there’s no need to go overboard with them, as they actually sound less sincere if they’re coming thick and fast. Rather than making them feel special, it can actually have the opposite effect; your partner may find them cringey or awkward to take.

26. You brood over whether you'll break up

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This really isn’t a good sign. If you’re constantly anxious about whether you’ll break up, you might need to take a closer look at the reasons WHY you feel insecure. This should help you examine your relationship more closely. Remember, the point of being in a relationship is to feel secure and loved; and if that’s not what you are getting, you need to move on.

27. Little things they do can make or break your day

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As your emotions get more unstable, you may find that tiny little things your partner does can make or break your day. If they send you a cute text, you’re on cloud nine. But if they don’t do what they want you to do, you get upset or angry. This is a sign you’re getting a little obsessed and controlling with your other half.

28. You start to change your personality

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Listening to their favorite songs? Dressing like a 1990s emo because they once mentioned he liked My Chemical Romance back in the day? This isn’t the good move that you might think it is. No matter how amazing you think your partner is, they should have that kind of hold on your emotions. Differences in personalities are just as important as similarities.

29. You want too much commitment too soon

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Every relationship runs on a different timeline, but there are some partners can want things to progress a little too fast. If you haven’t been with your partner long and you’re pushing them to make commitments like hanging out with your family all the time or trying to get them to move in, it might be seriously off putting for your other half.

30. You see other people as a threat

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Even if your other half is texting their family or hanging out with them, you might see this as a threat. Obsessed partners can get super controlling, so you can end up seeing anyone else as a threat to your relationship. This really isn’t a healthy way to act. If you find yourself doing this, you might need to call time on your relationship and work on your insecurities.

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