Signs A Child Will Become A Bully Later In Life

1. They justify their bad behavior

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One big warning sign to watch out for is your child shifting blame to the victim rather than themselves. It’s a classic sign of bullying behavior. Emotions may quickly escalate in intensity in a child with bullying tendencies, and they might feel justified in treating other children badly, or that they ‘had it coming’.

2. Their friends don't behave well

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Bullies aren’t usually short on friends. They can intimidate a lot of people, so lots of children will play along to ensure they’re not the ones that get picked on. However, bullies will tend to have a close-knit group around the that will encourage bad behavior. So if you clock their friends bullying other children, chances are, your child is probably participating.

3. They get in trouble at school

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If your child is getting into trouble on a regular basis at school, it’s time to take action. Try to work with your child to find out what’s going on, and challenge their behavior. Get them to consider how they would feel if someone behaved towards them in the same manner they behave towards their classmate.

4. They find it hard to sleep

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According to a recent study, children who display aggressive behavior or bullying tendencies are actually twice as likely to have sleep-disordered breathing problems like snoring or daytime sleepiness. As a lack of sleep tends to impair our decision-making skills, it might be an idea to tackle your child’s sleep issues with your doctor.

5. They live in a violent home

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If a child lives in a violent home, chances are, they too are a victim of violent, bullying behavior. They’re more likely to act violently in pressured situations, as they’ve modeled their own behavior on the people closest to them. Frustration tends to build up in kids who experience violence, and they’re more likely to take it out on the children around them.

6. They have behavioral problems

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Kids who are generally hot-tempered, easily frustrated, impulsive, lack empathy and prone to fighting can end up being bullies. While that isn’t the case for all children, it makes things difficult for them to handle pressured situations, and they find it hard to control their behavior or see things from another child’s perspective.

7. They've experienced bullying themselves

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It’s true what they say- hurt people hurt people. And this applies to kids too. Sometimes, children who have been bullied in the past will actually turn into bullies themselves to try and regain control over their lives. It also makes them feel less like a victim, and some kids can get addicted to that feeling. Be sure to support your child to try and turn their behavior around.

8. They're aggressive towards their siblings

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If you have more than one child, try and keep an eye on how they interact with their siblings. Do they act aggressively? Do they tease them or hit them? This might be an indicator that all isn’t well with their behavior. Chances are, they’re probably treating their peers like this too, so check in with their teachers if you can.

9. They spend a lot of time online

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With cyberbullying on the rise, it’s definitely a good idea for parents to keep an eye on their kids internet use. As online activities give people a lot more anonymity than real life, it’s more likely that children (and adults for that matter) will say things that they wouldn’t normally say in real life. Make sure you’re not giving children access to sites they shouldn’t be on.

10. They aren't tolerant towards children who are different to them

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Sometimes children can show a lack of ability or willingness to accept kids who are ‘different’ from them. Whether kids are from diverse ethnic backgrounds, or have a different gender, disabilities, or sexual orientation to them, they will often try and control these differences by bullying. Try and educate your kid on diversity, as this can really help their understanding.

11. They push boundaries and break rules

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If your kid is constantly trying to push the boundaries and break rules, it might be a sign that they have a tendency towards bullying behavior. It shows they don’t like to conform or be controlled, and things have to be done their way. Check in with your kid’s teachers and have a chat with them if you’re worried.

12. They're fixated on fitting in

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Some children are very aware of social statuses and hierarchies – so they want to try and fit in as much as possible. This means they might try to control and manage their image and worry about how they might be viewed by their peers, and end up taking part in behavior that they shouldn’t be – including bullying.

13. They don't think about others

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Kids who bully just can’t think about being in someone else’s shoes. They struggle to show compassion to their peers, and fail to take responsibility for their own actions. But it’s not just their peers that they have difficulty with; they can also show a complete disregard for the feelings of other people, or their impact on others.

14. A tendency to put other people down

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You might notice your child tends to put other people down while building themselves up. They can be ready to point out flaws in other people and make jokes about them, as well as insult them. If so, you need to intervene straight away. The longer this cycle of bad behavior goes on for, the harder it becomes to break.

15. Exclusiveness

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Does your child only hang out with certain kids? Do they speak about certain classmates as ‘losers’ or ‘weirdos’? Do they talk in a nasty way or make jokes about the ‘fat kids’ or the ‘geeks’? If they’re openly marginalizing other children, it’s time to act. Speak to your child and work with them to be less judgemental. Find out the reasons why they’re quick to label people – the more you learn about why they think this, the better chance you have of tackling this behavior head-on.

16. They're manipulative

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Some kids are pretty good at manipulating their peers to get what they want. It’s really important to try and work on this with your child as soon as you spot the signs (such as being overly pushy or persuading other kids to do something for them) as this might manifest into bullying behavior if it hasn’t already done so.

17. They exclude others

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If you see your child deliberately trying to leave other kids out, be sure to nip this in the bud from the get-go. It’s important that they include others (especially those who may seem ‘different’ to them) and treat their peers equally. This is a good life skill for your kids, as they’ll learn to mix easily with a wide variety of people.

18. They throw temper tantrums

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Let’s face it – a LOT of kids will have the odd temper tantrum now and again. But if your kid throws a wobbly on a regular basis and they’re past the toddler stage, keep an eye on them. Some kids will use this as a form of manipulation to get what they want, so make sure you’re not rewarding them for bad behavior.

19. They lash out

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When aggressive kids get frustrated, they can lash out. This means hitting, pushing, and even biting. Children can end up doing this with their parents as well as other kids – and you don’t need us to tell you that this isn’t healthy. If your child regularly lashes out like this, there’s a high chance they’re on the path to being a bully.

20. Other kids seem scared of them

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Some kids are shyer than others, and that’s perfectly natural. However, if you notice that other children seem scared or fearful of your child, it might be a good idea to look into this. Watch how they interact with their peers, and keep in touch with your kid’s teachers, as they might be able to point you in the right direction.

21. They have positive views towards violence

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Does your child seem to enjoy violence? Do they laugh at violence on TV, or find it funny when one kid hits another? If they’re fully relishing harm in others, you might want to keep an eye on what they’re watching online, and how they interact with their peers. Positive views of violence are a pretty big sign that your kid might be bullying others.

22. Impulsive behavior

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Child psychologists have noted that impulsive or risky behavior is often associated with bullying tendencies. While this won’t be the case for every kid, a lack of behavior control means they can act out. Without effective intervention from parents and teachers, this can turn into bullying and controlling behavior.

23. They get into arguments

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All children (and adults for that matter) will end up in arguments at some point. But if your kid is arguing with their classmates and friends on a regular basis, try and work with them on this. You’ll need to investigate whether your child is being bullied, or they are the ones that are doing the bullying.

24. They clash with their teachers

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Sometimes kids just don’t gel with certain teachers – and this is pretty natural. Children might not like their teaching style, or they might feel that they get put on the spot a lot with questions that they struggle to answer. But if your kid is having frequent arguments and shouting matches with their teachers, it’s a sign for you to step in.

25. They don't respect personal space

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If your child doesn’t respect personal space, it might be a warning sign. While it takes some kids longer to get their heads around personal space, some children completely disregard it, and think they can get away with touching other kids or annoying them. Watch how they act with other children, as this will give you some food for thought.

26. They don't get invited to events

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It’s not nice for any child to be left out of events like birthday parties. But sometimes, parents have a clear reason for it – they don’t want a kid there who bullies others. Keep an eye on your child’s social schedule, and look for any patterns of exclusion. And if you find out your kid has been bullying, don’t sweep their behavior under the carpet.

27. They don't wait their turn in line, or to use a toy

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Monitoring and adjusting bad behavior from a young age stops kids from growing up to be, well, not nice people. So if your child doesn’t wait in line or wait their turn for a toy or a ride, it’s really important to nip this behavior in the bud early before it manifests into something worse. Tell them what they’re doing is wrong, and point out what the better choices are.

28. Other kids don't want to play with them

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If you notice that other children don’t want to play with your kid, it’s definitely a good idea to look into the reasons why. You need to find out if your child is being bullied by others, or if they are the ones that aren’t behaving kindly to others. While no parents wants to think of their kid as a bully, it’s something you need to tackle as quickly as you can.

29. They can be arrogant

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While we tend to think of bullies as people with low self-esteem who often try and overcompensate through aggression, most bullies actually have high self-esteem. And the same can hold true for kids too. If your child is arrogant and they have a high sense of pride, you’ll need to work on this with them asap.

30. They take things away from peers

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Some kids can try and dominate others from an early age. One way they do this is by taking toys and items away from other children, which shows a lack of boundaries. It’s important that kids learn how to be patient and respect the space of others, so keep reminding your child that what they’re doing is not ok, and why.