Signs You Are The Other Woman
By Lauren Mccluskey
2 years ago
1. You never know where they are when they're not with you
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Is your partner's schedule an absolute mystery to you? Are you completely in the dark as to where they go when they're not with you? Granted, you can't know where they are ALL THE TIME, even if you aren't the other woman, but if you begin to suspect that they're leading a double life, perhaps it's time to investigate.2. You know nothing about their personal life
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They might not only be incredibly secretive about their whereabouts when they're not with you but also refuse to share anything about their personal life. You might not know anything about their family, their upbringing, where they've lived, past relationships, their friends, or even their hobbies.3. You've never met their friends or family
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And they avoid introducing you to anyone in their lives, including their friends and family. Perhaps they've come up with a good excuse that explains why they avoid contact with them, but if you've never met even the closest people in their lives, are you their secret?4. There's a strict schedule
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Have you noticed that when you meet up with your partner, it is always on their terms? You might have also noticed a rather obvious pattern to when you meet too... Perhaps it's only late at night, or every third weekend of the month. And whenever you suggest a time and a place, it hardly gets even considered, let alone pursued.5. Their phone is always on silent or face down
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They're probably really secretive with their phone as well. And no, it's probably not because they're using it to book a surprise romantic getaway for the two of you. It's more likely that they have other women on the go, or even a completely secret family that they don't want you to find out about.6. You always meet in private locations
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Perhaps you've always been a little concerned about their choice of meeting location... As if you're being lured into a dark alley and - let's face it - this screams more slasher movie than romance novel. And this is definitely NOT what you signed up for when you began this relationship.7. They always cancel on you at the last minute
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You're all dressed up and just about to head out of the door, and then - PING - there goes your phone again, and there's the message that 'something's come up and they need to cancel' again. And it's happened that often that they're not even making any effort to give you an excuse anymore.8. You're not allowed to call or text them whenever you want
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On top of not being able to meet on your terms, you're not even allowed to communicate with them when you want to either. They might make up an excuse about how work won't let them use their phone, but you know something's up. We mean, who even only communicates between the hours of 2am and 2:02am anyway?9. They have no online presence
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We all do it, don't we? Searching for a new partner's profile on social media to dig into their lives... But it's completely different for this partner because they don't seem to exist in the cyber world at all which is highly irregular! So what's their secret? Are they are a spy? Or an undercover cop? WHO ARE THEY?!10. Or they seem to have empty or fake accounts
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Or perhaps you've found an account for them and it's completely empty... And you delve a little deeper, and they seem to have a few of these empty accounts... And then you look into them further and find out that they only joined the social media platform two days ago...11. They disappear for days or even weeks at a time
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If you're the other woman, you might be wondering why your partner keeps doing their best Houdini impersonation... And if they're regularly doing a vanishing act on you, don't you wonder where they are or why they haven't called for so long? What could they possibly be doing that justifies them not being in contact with you?12. They're always changing their phone number
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Wait - who's that calling? It's another unknown number but when you answer, there's a familiar voice on the other end of the line. Yes - you guessed it! It's your partner, with yet again another brand new phone number. But the weird thing is, they also changed their phone number last week too!13. There are zero public displays of affection
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When you're out in public, it's almost as if your partner is embarrassed to be seen with you because they always seem to make a B-line for the farthest and darkest corner of anywhere as if they don't want anyone to see you together! They'll never hold your hand or kiss you or14. They only want to meet for one thing
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Perhaps your dates together are only very short and always end up going to your place or even to a cheap room. Or maybe you don't even get to go on any dates in the traditional sense like having a nice meal at a restaurant or meeting for coffee and instead, it's straight to yours (always yours) or to a hotel room!15. They use the word 'complicated' a lot
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They might use the dreaded word 'complicated' all the time. Especially when you question them about their past, their situation, their personal life, or even when you question them about why they're so sneaky and secretive all the time. You just never get a straight answer.16. They've got lots of female friends
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Having female friends doesn't automatically make a person a cheat, but it could potentially indicate that you're 'another' woman in their romantic life. You may or may not be suspicious and it could be worse if you notice that they're a little too touchy-feely with one or two of their female friends.17. You keep catching them out on their lies
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And nothing seems to add up at all. They have told so many lies that you're starting to get a little wise to them all and you just keep catching your partner out. In fact, they lie THAT often that they've forgotten what lies they've told and they trip up over them all of the time!18. They have erratic work hours
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They always seem to be working at really strange hours. And no day seems to be the same either. Their erratic work hours are probably beginning to arouse your suspicions, especially because they've never even told you where they work or what they do as a job!19. Or they travel for work
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You might not even see them for weeks on end because they've told you that they travel for work quite a lot. And because they've not told you where they work or what the nature of their job is, you wonder why they have to travel so much and for so long. And they never bring you any souvenirs back...20. They make you pay for everything
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If you are the other woman, you might find that your salary seems to run out way quicker than it used to. They make you pay for EVERYTHING. It's as if they have another life and shared finances with someone else and they don't want them to find out that they've been spending money on hotel rooms and restaurants!21. They never introduce you to others by your name
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They seem to always call you by 'romantic' pet names like sweetheart or darling or even snuggle monster. In fact, they do this so much that it's probably starting to get a little creepy. And you've probably noticed that they never introduce you to anyone by your name... Why don't they tell anyone your name?22. They avoid making plans for the future
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If you've been together for a while, it's only natural to want to start planning your future together. You might have brought up the possibility of marriage, you desire to have three children named Izzy, Ozzy, and Jim, or you might just want to plan a trip together next month. But they avoid any discussion of this like the plague!23. You know nothing of their past
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They're really secretive when it comes to talking about their past. And, naturally, you want to find out who your partner is, who their family is, where they grew up, what jobs they've had, and so on. But every time you bring it up, it's obvious that they make an effort to change the subject.24. You don't really know where they work
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At this point, it's really clear that they don't want you to come into contact with anyone they know from their suspiciously secretive life. So to prevent this from happening, they've not told you where they work, probably just in case you attempt to contact them there and their double life is exposed!25. You've never been to their place
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You have absolutely no idea where they live. They seem to be drifting from place to place, sofa surfing, and spending nights in hotels and away from work (apparently). And it might make you wonder whether they have a double life and a secret partner and family somewhere in the suburbs.26. You spend a lot of nights in hotels together
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You might even spend a lot of nights in hotels or motels together rather than at your place. And you know that their place, wherever that might be, is out of bounds too. Could it be that they're planning these hotel stays in order to avoid being seen with you by anyone?27. They only text you when they're in the bathroom
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Why is it that your suspiciously secretive partner only ever contacts you when they're on a toilet break? Is it because they enjoy it in some bizarre way, or are they hiding what they're doing from someone they live with? One thing is for sure, you're not impressed by the sound of trickling!28. You have code names for each other
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As well as not calling you by your name, like ever, you've both actually jointly developed code names for each other. And you use these code names when speaking with one another, and probably even about one another, especially if you've been told to keep your relationship with them a secret!29. They insist on wearing a disguise
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When meeting you for a date, they often turn up in a cape and a black Zoro mask... and perhaps a sword and a big hat... Or maybe sometimes they turn up with a big blonde wig and a fake mustache. And you find yourself questioning their fashion choices every time you meet!30. They seem to be hiding something...
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Even if some of these points are a little far-fetched, you might just simply feel like they're hiding something from you. It could be something they've done, how they act, what they say, or it could just be a feeling that you have. It's difficult to address but the best policy here is honesty, if you're feeling uncomfortable, don't let it go on, just ask them!31. You've never been on vacation together
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The natural progression for any couple is to book a vacation together at some point - so if you've been with this person a while, it's a bit suspicious if you haven't yet taken a trip together. This could be because they're already having vacations with the main woman in their life!32. Or even a weekend trip
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Even weekend trips away might be out of the question, and this can be because they'd still have to explain to their main partner why they're disappearing for a weekend packed with sunscreen or walking shoes. They might also not have spare cash to book extra trips when they're already having them with their main partner!33. And they get uncomfortable if you ask them for one
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And because they're the only person in your life that you're dating at the moment, you're naturally not going to see a problem with asking them for a trip or two. But you notice they start squirming and sweating when you bring it up, not really giving you a straight answer why they can't go...34. They never leave a single thing at your place
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When you don't live together, but you spend a lot of time together - especially if only ever at your place instead of their's - it always happens that a few items will be left at yours for them to use next time, or they're just happy for things to be lying around. But do they always avoid leaving even a single speck of proof they've been there?35. Or, they buy two of certain things to leave one with you
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If they do need to leave something at yours for convenience, like toiletries, do they buy a brand new version so they can have the original at their place at all times? This is likely so there aren't any questions from their partner about why certain items are missing and where they've gone...36. He always seems to be 'somewhere else' when you're with him
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Even when he does give you the time of day and spends time with you, does it always feel like he's 'somewhere else'? Like he's checked out mentally and emotionally and it's sort of like he's daydreaming or staring out of the window whenever you're talking to him, or asking him a question?37. You never, ever seem to be a priority
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When you're in a relationship with someone - a monogamous one - you should always be your partner's priority, and vice versa. If you're not, it means there's an issue, or something else going on. So if you're never, ever a priority and easily cancelled on, it might be because their main partner is their priority.38. The people who care about you have a bad feeling
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You've told your friends and family about you dating someone, and you've been telling them about the situation, what he's like and maybe even the odd things you've noticed. Do they tell you they have a bad feeling about it? That it doesn't sound like a committed relationship?39. He tells you to delete photos you take of you together
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There shouldn't be any reason for someone to tell their partner to delete every single photo of you together. Every couple has at least one good photo of them together, so if he's forcefully telling you to remove every photo from your camera roll, it might be because he's worried about you posting it online or showing someone.40. And he doesn't take any himself
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And it goes without saying that he never, ever takes any himself of the two of you together. He doesn't want to keep any photographic evidence of the two of you together because he doesn't want his main partner to see them on his phone. And he's definitely not going to be uploading them to social media!41. You've actually seen them avoid you in public
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Have you been walking through the mall or local park on a day you're not due to see each other, only to see them in the distance ducking behind a bush or running in the opposite direction? The only way this makes sense is that they don't want to be seen in public with you - or they might already be out with their main partner...42. Or, act like a stranger if they bump into you
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If they do bump into you, and it's too late for them to run and hide, are they really weird with you, acting as though you're a stranger? Maybe you actually bump into them with their friends or actual partner and they talk to you like you're a colleague or 'just a friend'?43. They tell you not to buy them any presents
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It's true that some people just don't like or want presents - maybe they don't want a fuss - but another reason could be that they don't want you to buy them any presents because they can't take them home and use them, just in case their main partner sees them and asks where they're from...44. And they don't buy you any either
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Likewise, they may not buy you any presents in return. This could be because they don't want you to reciprocate by buying them something, or maybe because the time, effort and money of going out, or ordering a present, will raise questions from their main partner about what they're doing!45. He doesn't have the patience to work through fights
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When you're committed to someone and see a future, you want to work through fights and understand any issues you're having. If you bring up problems or you have an argument, are they never willing to work through it? This can be because they don't think there's any point if you're just the 'other woman'.46. He doesn't use his Netflix account when you're together
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If he has a Netflix account, then he likely uses it to share with his main partner at home. And we know with Netflix it shows what you've recently been watching... and the last thing he wants is for his partner to be asking why it says 'continue watching' for something he's been watching with you!47. And he holds back from watching certain TV shows and films
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It's also likely that, as a couple, he wants to watch certain TV shows and films with his main partner - maybe she's specifically asked to watch them together. So he can't go and start watching something with the 'other woman' then his partner will want to know why...48. He acts frustrated or impatient a lot of the time
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It's likely that he's going to be acting frustrated a lot of the time, and not because you've done anything wrong, but because he's angry at himself for cheating and for tagging the both of you along. Maybe he's also frustrated at having to use extra time and energy to keep everything a secret.49. They won't even make plans a few days in advance
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If you're the 'other woman', then it's likely you're a last minute plan, or that you have to be a backup plan just in case his main partner wants to do something on a certain day. Even a few days in advance might be too long for him to agree to something with you, in case his partner says the night before that she wants to do something tomorrow.50. You're saved in his phone as a different name!
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We mentioned about having code names, but a huge indicator is what he has you saved as in his phone - even worse if he's saved you as a guy's name, or a service like plumber or landlord... it just means he's hiding you in case his main partner sees your 'name' pop up on his phone...What To Read Next
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