18+ Worrying Signs He Is Too Young To Commit

By Joy Boyd 8 months ago

1. Are you in a situationship?

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This term has been buzzing around the internet, and with good reason. A lot of us find ourselves in situationships. You know, those relationships that are aaaalmost like boyfriend/girlfriend, but no real clarity or titles. You never quite know where you stand, and you don't really talk about the future without feeling incredibly anxious. So what are the signs he's not ready to commit to you?

2. He's emotionally immature

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While age only matters to a certain point, it can speak to emotional maturity. This is simply due to life experiences and self-awareness. If your partner can't handle the emotions he feels or express them in a mature way, then he's probably too young to commit to you!

3. His words and actions don't match

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Anyone can say the words you want to hear. Actions are the proof. If your guy can't follow through on showing he cares, then he's too immature to commit. Anyone can send a flirty or charming text. Take a step back and really assess how he makes you feel and how he shows you what he's saying.

4. He can't handle big decisions

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When you notice that your partner can't handle the bigger decisions in life, it's not a good sign that he's gonna be ready to commit to you soon. Being a long-term couple means eventually deciding things like marriage, family, and houses. If he struggles with decisions around his career, friends, and family, it doesn't bode well for his ability to maturely commit.

5. He literally tells you he's not ready

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They say when a guy shows you who he is, believe him the first time. So if a guy is openly telling you that he's not ready or willing to commit to a relationship, he's not lying. Take him at his word and move on with your life. The reality of him changing his mind is slim, and you deserve more than that!

6. He's not there for you when you need him

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We all know that you are a strong, independent woman. But in a partnership, you work as a team, and if your guy isn't there for you when you need him the most, it's a RED FLAG! Maybe he's only coming into your life when it's convenient for HIM, and he doesn't want to deal with anything heavy. You. Deserve. Better.

7. He doesn't know how to support you

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In a similar vein, support is a major part of a strong relationship. If a guy has zero interest in your personal goals or career goals, let alone figuring out ways to help you achieve them or support them, then he's too young to commit to you in a way that is what you want and need.

8. He lives with his parents

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There are always different reasons for people's lifestyles, but if you're dating someone who lives with their parents and shows no signs of leaving or wanting to leave, they might not be ready for a real relationship. Of course, if this is something you decide together, that's different, but either way it creates a lack of privacy and independence.

9. He's not open with you about what he wants

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A guy that isn't ready for a relationship can never express what they want, either in the present moment or for the future. If this is the case, he's too young to be exclusive with you. It's okay to be unsure of the future, but you might want to keep your options open for someone who's willing and ready to commit.

10. He doesn't include you in his plans

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Similarly, if a guy is not including you in his plans and decisions for the future, even though he knows it may affect how you feel, then he probably doesn't see a future with you in it. We know it sucks, but try to not take it personally. He's just too young or immature to commit to the long-term.

11. You have very different interests

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It's important to maintain independence and individuality in a relationship. However, shared interests are a great way to bond and connect with your partner. If you find yourself getting bored with his interests because they seem immature, he might be too young to commit. If your lifestyles don't align, you're going to have a hard time making it work.

12. He can't take responsibility for things

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If you're with someone who's mature, then you know you can trust them to take responsibility for things in life. You have to be able to trust and rely on each other. So if you have a hard time trusting your partner with simple things like picking up a bottle of wine on the way home for dinner, then he's probably not ready to be in a serious relationship!

13. He's guarded around you

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One of the signs of intimacy is the ability to be vulnerable with each other. Beyond being able to express emotions in a mature way, if your guy can't open up to you about how he feels or what he's thinking, he's probably not emotionally mature enough to be with you. He wants something surface level.

14. He freaks out when you bring up commitment

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If your guy changes the topic or freaks out any time you bring up commitment or exclusivity, he is dodging a real conversation about anything serious. You probably already feel uncomfortable bringing it up in the first place. Trust your intuition. If he's showing these signs, he's too young to give you what you want!

15. You're older than all of his friends

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Depending on the gap, this isn't a huge deal in and of itself, but if you're significantly older than all of his friends, he might be too young. It speaks to interests and experiences, beyond just the age. You might have a hard time having meaningful conversations with them. If his friends are a lot younger than HIM, then he might have a hard time relating to people who are his age on a maturity level.

16. His intentions are vague

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One of the biggest things experts say, is that, if you feel confused about where you stand with a guy, it's because he's not that into it. He's being vague about his intentions and what he's looking for. If you've tried to bring it up and you leave the conversation with half answers and feeling anxious about it, he's too young to commit.

17. You mostly talk through your phones

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When the primary form of communication with your significant other is through social media and texting, it's a sign they might be too young. It's a lazy way to date and create intimacy, because it's only happening when it's convenient for both of you. You should be seeing each other and making a real effort in real life too, having the big conversations in person.

18. You know you're at two different places in life

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You can feel it when you and your partner aren't on the same page. If there's a big age difference or you're both really young, you might be a different places. For example, you might want to settle down, but he wants to put all his focus into his career or going out with his buddies. This means he's not ready to commit.

19. You guys prioritize different things

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Off of that thought, you may come to realize that you and your partner have very different goals in life overall. When this is the case, it's practically impossible to make decisions together where both of you will feel happy. If he's unwilling to discuss these and figure out compromises that work for both, then he's not ready to commit. You guys should be moving in the same direction.

20. Your life expectations are wildly different

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Okay, so these all kind of go together, but if your life expectations don't line up with your partner, you're heading for a lot of conflict and anxiety. Even worse, if your partner doesn't have the capacity to communicate about these types of topics, then he's too young to understand their importance.

21. His finances are a mess

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Literally any one of us can fall on hard times, but financial stability is important in a relationship, and it's something that a lot of younger men can't bring to the table, purely just because of time. While you may or may not earn equal or more than your partner, it's about your ability together to plan for the future and handle unexpected things life will throw your way.

22. Age kinda matters

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At a certain point, an age difference of a few years isn't that big of a deal. But if you're in very different life phases (i.e. high school and college), then it's pretty unrealistic to expect commitment from him. It speaks to a difference in stages of life and worldviews. It also means different friend groups and priorities.

23. You don't have anything in common

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This goes back to the age thing, but if you feel like you're trying to force a connection because you don't have anything in common, it's a sign he's too young to commit. It's impossible to be in a meaningful relationship with someone you have no connection with. Of course, differences also mean you bring a balance to each other, but if they're too imbalanced, it will cause cracks in the relationship.

24. You feel like he's keeping you a secret

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It can feel passionate and secretive and fun when it's just the two of you, closed off from the world. But eventually, if a guy really cares about you, your lives start to merge. He wants to include you in his world and introduce you to his friends and family. If you feel like he's hiding you away, it's time to drop him like it's hot.

25. He's never had a long-term relationship

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If a guy hasn't really had a long-term relationship, but has a long history of flings or short-term situationships, this is probably a red flag. You can't fully base judgment of someone on their past, but it does indicate where their mindset might be. Is he worried about losing his freedom? This type of stuff needs to be talked about!

26. You can tell he's keeping his options open

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Women are super intuitive. So if you know that he's keeping his option open to other women, he's definitely too immature to commit to you. If you just started dating, that's fine as long as you've talked about it. But if he seems to constantly be looking for something better, then it's a red flag!

27. He doesn't have a job

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We know life circumstances can change at any point, but if your guy doesn't have a job and isn't actively seeking one, then he's probably too young for commitment. You aren't there to be someone's mom, and while there's give and take in caring for each other, you want to be with someone who's motivated and making an effort in life.

28. You have different belief systems

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While no couple sees 100% eye to eye on every issue, it's super important to have shared values and beliefs. If you're operating out of two different worldviews, it will affect how you communicate with and understand each other. This could lead to fights when it comes to making decisions together. If you don't share these things, he might not be the one, sis.

29. He doesn't have a lot of life experience

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Life experience is something that can only come from... living. And that happens with age. It's important in any relationship, especially if you're not aligned. It shapes everything about who you are and how you make decisions. If your partner just hasn't experienced that much in life, then you guys may have a hard time finding common ground, and he's too young for you!

30. Value yourself at the end of the day

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The bottom line is that, at the end of the day, you can't force someone to be with you, and you don't want to feel like you have to MAKE someone like you. You deserve way more than that. Stay true to who you are and your values, and know that at some point someone will cut through and commit to you!

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