15 Steps To Cure Lonliness

1. Acknowledgement

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The first step to a lot of issues is to acknowledge the problem. Recognizing and acknowledging that you're feeling lonely helps to put your feelings into perspective. Maybe you've been feeling sad, angry or lacking motivation. Once you realise this may be because you're lonely, you can work on improving your well-being.

2. Normalise

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Loneliness is normal! Understand that feeling lonely is a super common, natural experience that a lot of people go through. Remember that you're not alone in feeling this way, it can help to feel a little less isolated and remind you that it's not your fault.

3. Get to the root cause

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If you can, try to reflect on the root causes of your loneliness. For example, could it down to a lack of social connections, low self-esteem, or other factors? Once you can understand what the cause is, you can see what is missing and it's much easier to work on this.

4. Self-compassion

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When you're feeling lonely, it's important to always practice self-compassion and be kind to yourself throughout the process. This can help you to see yourself in a more positive light, boosting your self-esteem and confidence. All of these things are vital if you're looking to build connections with others.

5. Self-reflection

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Everybody could benefit from practicing self-reflection. It helps you to gain a deeper understanding of yourself. This might help you to find yourself if you're feeling lost. It shines a light on your values, your interests and motivators. Knowing more about yourself can help you to find your people.

6. Relationship building

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Of course, building meaningful relationships is a no brainer in terms of fighting loneliness. However, this can be hard to do! Start by setting some goals for yourself that involve building and maintaining relationships. This way, things can feel less overwhelming.

7. Hobbies

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Now you've reflected on what you enjoy, why not try and find ways to do more of what makes you happy! Take up a new hobby or activity. Not only will this do wonders for your mental health, but you might just find like-minded people in the process of doing so!

8. Social opportunities

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There are a lot of social opportunities out there if you have a look around. You could consider joining clubs, groups, or organizations that align with your interests. This can create a fun, low pressure environment where you can establish social connections.

9. Events and meetups

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If you have a look online, you might find there are local events or even meetups in your local area. Often, you'll find other people have chosen to attend these events for the same reason as you - to expand their social circle and fight loneliness!

10. Volunteer

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Volunteering for a cause that means something to you is a great step. Not only does this give back to your community or area of choice, but you're getting a lot out of it at the same time! Helping other people will leave you feeling fulfilled and connected.

11. Reach out

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Sometimes, when people feel lonely, there are already people that they could connect with but the thought is just too daunting. If you feel able to, take the leap to reach out to old friends, colleagues or acquaintances to rekindle or deepen your connection.

12. Social media

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Social media gets a lot of stick. But, when used in the right way, it's actually a fantastic tool for connections. You might choose to use it to keep in touch with friends and family. Or, you might want to find new people to connect with. For example, joining online groups.

13. Communication skills

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The key to having meaningful relationships with others is communication! Maybe you could develop or improve your communication skills. This can help you to express yourself more effectively and confidently. Conversations can then feel a lot less daunting and more meaningful.

14. Active listening

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So you can now express yourself confidently. Now, making sure you're actively listening to other people is just as important. Listening and understanding with genuine interest and empathy makes you more likeable. You'll find more in common and can relate to others. Not to mention, you can learn a lot from other people!

15. Open to new experiences

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Often, when you've been used to your own company for a long time, it can be difficult to step outside of your usual routine. Understand that change is impossible when you're living inside your comfort zone! Step outside of this and be open to new experiences.

16. Self-care

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Self-care is essential for everybody! When you're trying to improve your well-being and making a change, it's even more important to look after yourself well. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

17. Professional help

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Knowing when to seek professional help is brave and it's wise. Sometimes, things can feel too heavy to handle alone. Let those who are trained to help, help you, it's their job! If you feel that loneliness is significantly impacting your mental health or you're struggling to cope, this may be a great step in the right direction.

18. Support groups

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You might also want to consider joining support groups, or even group therapy sessions. Here, you can share your experiences with other people who are likely to understand and relate to exactly what you're going through. Or, you can start by just listening to other's contributions, which is likely to boost your confidence to join in when you're ready.

19. Practice gratitude

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Did you know that the single greatest cause of happiness is gratitude? Practicing gratitude by focusing on the positive aspects of your life can literally alter your brain in a positive way. Whether this is a chat you had with a stranger in the shop or a friendship with someone at work. When you focus on the good, the good gets better!

20. Mindfulness

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Studies have shown that people who practice mindfulness and meditation have a reduced feeling of loneliness! This is probably because these practices help to increase self-awareness and self-reflection. Also, they promote calmness and contentment.

21. Nature

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Nature is a healer. If you spend a lot of time indoors or with technology, it will do you a world of good to take a break in nature. You'll likely notice a clearer mind and it's a great way to foster a sense of connection with the world around you.

22. Kindness

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Kindness is contagious. Try and factor in just one act of kindness every day and you'll quickly notice a difference in your happiness! Knowing that you've helped to brighten someone else's day can increase your own feelings of connection. Plus, you're bound to get some good karma coming your way.

23. Family members

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If you can, reach out to family members or loved ones. You might want to open up about your feelings of loneliness, or you might just want to make an effort to build and maintain strong relationships with them. Maybe you could create some social plans with them, too.

24. Get a pet

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If you're feeling lonely, you should definitely consider getting a pet! Whether you choose to invest in a dog, or if you'd rather start small with a fish, sharing your space with them provides a sense of companionship and will alleviate feelings of loneliness.

25. Creativity

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Everybody has some kind of creative side to them. Try engaging in creative outlets such as art, writing, or music. These activities can be highly therapeutic and will provide you with an outlet for your emotions. Negative feelings bottled up with nowhere to go can often amplify.

26. Self-contentment

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People who can appreciate and enjoy their own company are usually a lot happier than those who cannot. Working to develop a sense of self-contentment will help to ensure your happiness regardless of the noise or people that are around you. This can help battle loneliness when you're happy on your own!

27. Avoid comparison

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Comparison with others is rarely a helpful thing to do. If you're focusing on what other people have and what they're doing, comparing it with your own journey, you're likely to feel isolated and hard done to. Everybody is on a different journey and often, what you see isn't somebody's reality.

28. Routine

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Try to develop a a routine that includes regular social activities or interactions with other people. An example of this could be including a gym class, a walk to the local shop or choosing to work in a local cafe rather than at home. Once this becomes the norm, you'll likely establish relationships with those around you.

29. Resilience

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Resilience is an important skill that everybody should have. Building meaningful connections takes time and effort. If you're someone that isn't very thick-skinned, you're likely to end up hurt and it can be difficult to persevere when you feel like you've been knocked back.

30. Optimism

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Keeping an optimistic mindset is definitely key to getting yourself out of a loneliness rut. If you believe in your ability to overcome loneliness and that it's possible to establish connections with other people, then it will happen! Stay positive and trust the process.

31. Remember that everyone feels lonely sometimes

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It's all part and parcel of feeling lonely that you also feel like the only one in the entire world feeling that way - which can make you feel even more lonely! You may look around and see people having fun, hanging out with friends and wondering why you're the only person who feels alone - but you have to remember everyone feels that way sometimes.

32. Accept that it's okay to need connection

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While it's important to practice self-love, self-care and being independent enough to feel like you don't need anybody else, it's also 100% okay to want other people in your life, to need that connection and to look for it. Some people might have made you think 'you can only depend on yourself' or 'you need to enjoy your own company' but you can be independent while still craving key connections - it's normal, and it's okay.

33. Definitely don't blame yourself

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When you're in a spiral of loneliness, it's easy to turn to the only person there to blame: yourself. Especially if you're alone as a result of actions you've taken (like breaking up with someone, or cutting a friend out of your life) you're likely to think it's your own fault you're alone. But you shouldn't blame yourself for it - you made the decisions you had to, and sometimes, people end up more alone than they thought they would be.

34. It has nothing to do with you as a person

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And with the blame also comes the fact that you start doubting yourself as a person. Even worse, when people question you if you say you're lonely by saying 'oh but you're so pretty! You're such a nice person, how can you not have a million friends?'. Being lonely has nothing to do with the type of person you are, or how attractive you are. It's just one of those things that can happen to anyone.

35. Make eye contact with people

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We don't mean in an intense way, but you're more likely to make connections when out and about when not looking down at your phone or avoiding looking at anyone. Making eye contact, smiling and saying hello can open up more opportunities, especially in social locations like at a bar or even just grocery shopping. You never know, you might end up striking up a conversation (if you want to, of course!).

36. Join a fitness class

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If there isn't a social hobby club you'd like to join, or maybe your hobbies are more solitary ones, then using fitness as a way to meet new people can be a good opportunity. You need to keep active anyway, so why not try looking for a fitness class for the exercise you like instead of doing it alone? You could join a yoga class, a cardio class or anything else that gets you in a room with other people.

37. Handwritten correspondence

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We know that most correspondence these days is done through a phone screen, but when you're feeling lonely - maybe all your friends are long distance and you live alone - sometimes a message on a screen doesn't quite cut it. Handwritten letters sent from friends or loved ones in the post like pen pals could actually make you feel a whole lot better, because it's more personal and may even include other things about them, like a spritz of perfume they've put on the paper!

38. Money isn't always the answer

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When you're feeling lonely and maybe don't have a lot of spare money, it's very easy to think that if you had more money you'd be able to get out there and do more things to meet people. While this is definitely true, it's not always the case, either, as money won't definitely solve the problem of loneliness. You can do a lot of free things to meet new people, too.

39. Be nice to strangers

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This should go without saying anyway - human kindness and all that! - but we just mean it might help to open yourself up more to strangers if you're usually someone who's not paying much attention to the people around them. Look for opportunities to help people if they need it, or be more nice with greetings or facial expressions, and it might help you to connect with others.

40. Go solo traveling

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If you've never done it before, solo traveling might sound like a lonely experience and defy the point of wanting someone to do things with. But solo traveling is one of the best things you can do when feeling lonely - not only does it help you connect with yourself and work through your emotions, it also opens you up to a lot of new situations where you'll talk with, and meet, new people.

41. Or join organized travel groups

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If solo traveling just isn't for you and you want to push yourself more into meeting new people, then you could also join organized travel groups - especially ones for people traveling alone - as you will then be on the same trip with a bunch of other people with the same goals in mind, so it's very likely you'll get chatting with someone and hopefully make a new friend.

42. Make the first move

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This one can get complicated because you need people in your life who make the same effort to contact you as you do them. It's much better to have less friends or contacts than a ton of people you're constantly being the only one making the effort for. But sometimes it might take you sending a quick message or email to say hello if you're feeling particularly lonely.

43. Make sure to get enough sleep

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Not getting enough sleep really does affect every part of your health, physical and mental, and surprisingly it's also going to affect how lonely you feel. A lot of this can be it being more likely to have a negative mindset if you're running on low sleep. Not only that, but if you're not getting enough sleep, you're not going to have enough energy to motivate yourself to get out there, socialize and meet new people.

44. Write a journal addressed to someone

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You could think of a name, or just write 'Dear Friend'. Having a journal when you're lonely might feel like an even more solitary thing to do, but actually it can help you to process things if you don't have anyone to talk to in real life at the moment. Writing a journal addressed to someone can make you feel like you're writing a letter to a friend who's happy to listen.

45. Re-organize your home

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Feeling lonely can be triggered - or made worse - if you feel like your home life is a mess or disorganized. We know how comforting it can be to know that everything is clean and tidy, and sometimes that can be what you need to get into the right mindset and tackle your goals for meeting new people. It may also help you to decide what you want to keep or throw out of your life for moving forward.

46. Find religious or spiritual connections

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This obviously only applies if you're actually religious or spiritual - if you are, this can be a good starting point for meeting likeminded people, as you could start to attend church or other community meetups. If you're not religious or really spiritual, you could still look into groups that cater for that - maybe groups teaching more about non-religious spiritualism or mindfulness.

47. Use apps for making friends

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There's a huge focus on dating apps these days, but did you know there are some apps that can be just for making friends in your area? We know that apps have made the dating pool a lot easier than depending on meeting people in real life by chance, so why can't the same be said for friendships? See if there are any apps available for that in your area and give it a try.

48. Evaluate your friendships

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You can also feel lonely even if you have a whole bunch of friends. Loneliness when in the presence of other people may be a sign you're not getting the connection you need from them. It might be a good idea to evaluate the friendships in your life. Have they run their course? Are your friends no longer making an effort with you, or no longer having the same goals or interests? Are they taking up time you could be spending on making new friends?

49. Work in public or give co-working a go

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Loneliness can often hit the hardest when you work from home, if you don't have a big social group either. One way to tackle this, if you're free to work remotely, is to give co-working spaces a go, which will see you working in an environment with other people. Or, you could try working out at a coffee shop or library. Even if you don't end up talking to someone, it can often help to have people around you instead of home alone.

50. Make sure to always have noise

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Feeling lonely at home alone is difficult to cope with - and what can make it worse is silence. You're reminded of the absence of other people, or other things going on. To help you feel more at ease, you could listen to music that makes you feel happy or connected. You could put the TV on a low volume to give the impression of background chit chat.