30 Signs That Somebody Is Shy

1. They get nervous about trying new things

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People who are shy can hesitate to try something new - especially if it’s something like a group activity. This is because they don’t know what to expect or how to act in a new situation. However, some shy people can still end up participating in group activities – they just need a little time to get a feel for things.

2. They don't like speaking in front of people

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Let’s face it – people who are shy don’t exactly relish the idea of speaking in front of people. While a lot of us can struggle with presentations and conferences, shy people will get super anxious about the thought of getting up and speaking to a room full of people.

3. They show up fashionably late

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There are some people that turn up fashionably late as they want to make an entrance. But with shy people, it usually means that they didn’t want to come! In theory, showing up after everyone else means shy people can blend in the background, but this can backfire. As bonds and groups have already formed by this point, it can be harder for shy people to have conversations.

4. They're a chatterbox with their friends

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Shy people can totally transform when they’re around people they’re comfortable with. This is because they feel like their friends, family and loved ones won’t be judging them, so they tend to be much more relaxed. The same can’t be said for when they’re in front of strangers though…

5. They don't know how to start a conversation with others

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Shy people can find it really hard to strike up conversations because they don’t know where to start. It can feel a bit awkward for them to start asking questions to a stranger, as they can sometimes worry about how the other person may or may not react.

6. They think they're alone

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When shy people have trouble mingling and talking to others, they can feel totally alone – especially when it seems like everyone else is doing great in social situations. But that isn’t the case, as even the loudest person in the room can sometimes feel a bit socially awkward!

7. They wish they could talk more

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Shy people still want to be social. The problem is, they’ll go on social outings, but won’t really be sure on how to act, what to say or what to do. Shyness isn’t a character flaw by any means, but if someone doesn’t learn how to control their shyness, it can start to control them.

8. First impressions cause major stress

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People say that first impressions count. And while this is true to some extent, it doesn’t mean shy people only have one chance to make a good impression. Those who are shy can pressure themselves to craft the perfect opening line, but it doesn’t need to be this way. They just need to be polite and nice, and that’s about it.

9. They try too hard to avoid saying something stupid

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Being shy doesn’t always mean people have nothing to say; it just means they’re not saying it. If something might sound unimpressive or stupid, shy people will tend to keep their mouths shut. But this isn’t always a good idea – while it’s wise to filter yourself, it’s important to get involved in the conversation too!

10. They plan out conversations ahead of time

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People who aren’t all that comfortable in social situations tend to rack their brains for conversation topics before heading to an event. They might find themselves mentally rehearsing how they should talk about weekend plans, current events, or other subjects that might pop up during conversation.

11. They might give opinions that aren't their own

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Do you know someone that tends to give opinions that you know aren’t their own? This is something that shy people can sometimes do in an effort to fit in with others – especially when meeting new people. While we’ve all probably bent the rules a little to fit in with people around us, doing this on a regular basis isn't healthy.

12. They rely on more sociable friends

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It’s said that shy people rely on their louder, more sociable friends to help them deal with meeting others – and this can definitely be true. But it doesn’t mean to say that extroverts can’t be shy too. Shy extroverts are usually people who thrive off of social interaction, but who don't necessarily have the skills they need to socialize effectively.

13. They get paranoid about how they come across

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While we can all feel paranoia at some point in our lives, those who are shy can end up analyzing how they behaved in social situations, and worry if they were thought of as rude or blunt. This can lead to paranoia about how they may or may not come across to new people.

14. They respond to plans with a 'maybe'

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If shy people don’t trust themselves to hold a successful conversation, they might dread social outings, which means they might try and make up an excuse not to go. However, the more they debate whether to show up or not, the more worked up they can get.

15. It takes them a while to feel comfortable with new people

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Shy people generally need time to warm up and adjust to new situations and people – and that’s completely ok. While shy people can feel super nervous when they first meet someone new at a party or event, they’ll usually get into their groove after a while.

16. Long silences freak them out

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Not every silence is an awkward one, but shy people tend to catastrophize any kind of lull in the conversation. So no, the other person probably isn’t bored or thinking about how stupid a comment was. The other person is probably just thinking about what they’re going to say next!

17. They use alcohol to loosen up

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When social situations make shy people nervous, they might turn to alcohol to calm down and ease the anxiety of meeting new people. But this isn’t always wise. Alcohol might dull stress, but inhibits thinking, which can actually work against shy people in the long run.

18. They stick with subjects they're comfortable with

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Ironically, shy people can sometimes be conversation hogs. When they find a topic that they feel comfortable with, they might be tempted to latch on and keep yakking about it. But this just proves that they’re able to talk at

someone, rather than talking with them!

19. They can't network

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If shyness starts holding people back from working on their goals, it can get a little toxic. This is especially true at work, as they won’t speak up during meetings and events. This can end up harming some people’s careers, as the fear of being judged outweighs everything else.

20. Their parents are shy too

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We’re all influenced by our parents, but some more than others. If you know someone who’s shy, it might be because their parents are too. According to a study published by Nemours Children’s Health, up to 20% of people have genes that can dictate someone’s shyness in their DNA.

21. They struggle with past experiences

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Sometimes, people are shy for good reason. They might have experienced something life-altering in the past which they’re still struggling to come to terms with, or had to deal with negative events that have changed their outlook. For example, a lot of people who are shy adults may have experienced bullying when they were younger.

22. They're selective about who they let into their inner circle

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As shy people take a while to warm up to others, they can often be quite selective about who they let into their lives. Shy people like to get to know others properly before they get super close to them, as they want to make sure that they can completely trust the person their building a relationship with.

23. They hate unfamiliar environments

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From going on holiday to starting a new job, unfamiliar environments can be a source of huge stress for those who are shy. They might be much more comfortable in their room, or the same company or group of friends they already have. This dislike of unfamiliarity can also make them seem uninterested or bored in a new situation.

24. They can't make eye contact

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Making eye contact with someone during a conversation is a definite skill, but shy people can really struggle with this. They might prefer to keep their head down during conversations with new people, or look at their phone to try and escape any perceived social awkwardness.

25. They prefer to communicate online than in real life

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Real life has a lot of potential awkwardness. So why not just communicate online instead? This line of thinking is used by a lot of shy people, as they prefer to communicate in a way that eliminates awkward silences and conversations. However, this can do more damage over time, as it can become more and more difficult for people to interact with others in real life.

26. They don't like parties

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The fear of being watched and judged by people can make social events almost nightmarish. And this fear can ramp up to eleven when it’s a party. Tons of new people and tons of good impressions to make can just get too much for people who are on the shy side.

27. They blush when they feel embarrassed

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Shy people can become embarrassed easily – especially if they think they’ve said or behaved in a way that was awkward or silly. Which means they can blush a lot! While this happens to the best of us on occasion, shy people tend to experience this much more often.

28. They fidget a lot

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Do you know someone who fidgets a lot? While there can be a few reasons for this (like stress, anxiety and boredom) it might be because they’re shy. People who are shy can end up fidgeting when they feel uncomfortable or awkward, which can typically happen in social situations.

29. They cross their arms a lot

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While we’re on the subject of body language, you might notice that shy people often fold or cross their arms in social situations. This not only shows that they’re feeling uncomfortable, but in some cases, they’re unconsciously trying to make themselves appear smaller so other people don’t notice them.

30. They get really tired after social interactions

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This can happen with a lot of people, but those who are shy can get especially sleepy after social interactions. As they’re often nervous or stressed when meeting new people, it takes a lot of effort to get through events, parties and social duties – leaving them tired, lacking energy, and mentally wiped out.